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How To Be A Happy Introvert

How To Be A Happy Introvert
How To Be A Happy Introvert

    Being an introvert isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If it prevents you from doing what you really want to do, or hinders your working and personal lives, then something should change. However, introverts should be happy being so.

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    Author on Introverts, Nancy R. Fenn, wrote a Top Ten to get introverts through their day, and it’s mostly a How To in getting out of negative situations and keeping positive about their character.

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    • 1. Assert yourself as a legitimate personality type.
      There are two legitimate personality types: extroverts and introverts.
    • 2. Correct people when they refer to introverts as neurotics.
      Introverts are not neurotics. They are introverts.
    • 3. Correct people when they refer to introverts as prone to mental illness.
      Introverts are no more prone to mental illness than others. When extroverts are under stress, they overeat, smoke, drink and become violent. When introverts are under stress, they withdraw. This does not make them mentally ill.
    • 4. Correct people when they assert that introverts are anti-social.
      Introverts are not anti-social. They are drained by other people and must limit their time in company, but they are friendly and loving people.
    • 5. Correct people when they assert that introverts have nothing to say.
      On the contrary, introverts won’t speak unless they have something important to say!
    • 6. Put a proper value on your ability to be a good listener.
      Good listening skills are invaluable in all areas of business and industry.
    • 7. Do not apologize for time spent alone.
      Explain to critical “others” that introverts need to spend at least half their time alone for good mental and emotional health. Then assert, if necessary, that introverts are a legitimate personality type.
    • 8. Introverts are not losers.
      Take pride that you are in the company of such introverts, past and present, as Albert Einstein, Steven Spielberg, Queen Elizabeth II, Charles Darwin, Mahatma Gandhi, Michael Jordan and Bruce Lee.
    • 9. Stand up for introverted children who are being misunderstood in your presence.
      This is one of the most healing things you can possibly do for yourself as it will heal your own inner child.
    • 10. Don’t let pushy extroverts interrupt you while you’re reading a good book.
      Explain politely that you can’t talk right now, you’re reading a book.

    Personally, I think some kind of middle-ground is ideal. Any introverts out there have more suggestions?

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    We’ve previously written these on the topic:

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    Top 10 Advantages of Introvert

    How To Network: For Introverts

    Convert yourself from Introvert to Extrovert?

    More by this author

    Craig Childs

    Craig is an editor and web developer who writes about happiness and motivation at Lifehack

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    Last Updated on April 8, 2020

    Why Assuming Positive Intent Is an Amazing Productivity Driver

    Why Assuming Positive Intent Is an Amazing Productivity Driver

    Assuming positive intent is an important contributor to quality of life.

    Most people appreciate the dividends such a mindset produces in the realm of relationships. How can relationships flourish when you don’t assume intentions that may or may not be there? And how their partner can become an easier person to be around as a result of such a shift? Less appreciated in the GTD world, however, is the productivity aspect of this “assume positive intent” perspective.

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    Most of us are guilty of letting our minds get distracted, our energy sapped, or our harmony compromised by thinking about what others woulda, coulda, shoulda.  How we got wronged by someone else.  How a friend could have been more respectful.  How a family member could have been less selfish.

    However, once we evolve to understanding the folly of this mindset, we feel freer and we become more productive professionally due to the minimization of unhelpful, distracting thoughts.

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    The leap happens when we realize two things:

    1. The self serving benefit from giving others the benefit of the doubt.
    2. The logic inherent in the assumption that others either have many things going on in their lives paving the way for misunderstandings.

    Needless to say, this mindset does not mean that we ought to not confront people that are creating havoc in our world.  There are times when we need to call someone out for inflicting harm in our personal lives or the lives of others.

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    Indra Nooyi, Chairman and CEO of Pepsi, says it best in an interview with Fortune magazine:

    My father was an absolutely wonderful human being. From ecent emailhim I learned to always assume positive intent. Whatever anybody says or does, assume positive intent. You will be amazed at how your whole approach to a person or problem becomes very different. When you assume negative intent, you’re angry. If you take away that anger and assume positive intent, you will be amazed. Your emotional quotient goes up because you are no longer almost random in your response. You don’t get defensive. You don’t scream. You are trying to understand and listen because at your basic core you are saying, ‘Maybe they are saying something to me that I’m not hearing.’ So ‘assume positive intent’ has been a huge piece of advice for me.

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    In business, sometimes in the heat of the moment, people say things. You can either misconstrue what they’re saying and assume they are trying to put you down, or you can say, ‘Wait a minute. Let me really get behind what they are saying to understand whether they’re reacting because they’re hurt, upset, confused, or they don’t understand what it is I’ve asked them to do.’ If you react from a negative perspective – because you didn’t like the way they reacted – then it just becomes two negatives fighting each other. But when you assume positive intent, I think often what happens is the other person says, ‘Hey, wait a minute, maybe I’m wrong in reacting the way I do because this person is really making an effort.

    “Assume positive intent” is definitely a top quality of life’s best practice among the people I have met so far. The reasons are obvious. It will make you feel better, your relationships will thrive and it’s an approach more greatly aligned with reality.  But less understood is how such a shift in mindset brings your professional game to a different level.

    Not only does such a shift make you more likable to your colleagues, but it also unleashes your talents further through a more focused, less distracted mind.

    More Tips About Building Positive Relationships

    Featured photo credit: Christina @ wocintechchat.com via unsplash.com

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