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How to Stop Obsessing over Your Body Image and Beat Negative Thoughts

How to Stop Obsessing over Your Body Image and Beat Negative Thoughts

Raise your hand if you’ve ever said or done any of the following:

  • Pinched your stomach for fat
  • Looked for cellulite somewhere on your body
  • Hated your body type
  • Looked at magazines and felt inadequate about yourself
  • Went on a diet in the last 3 months
  • Been envious of your thinner friends
  • Compared yourself to someone else

If you said yes to any of the above, fear not: you aren’t alone. Most of us have looked in the mirror, seen something we don’t like, and immediately started thinking negatively about our bodies. In fact, body dissatisfaction is at an all time high today, with millions of people struggling with eating disorders and body dysmorphic disorder.

You likely know that you shouldn’t be spending so much time worrying about the externals, but you don’t know what to do to fix the problem. You try to tell yourself not to worry about your appearance, to be happy with who you are and to stop comparing yourself to others, yet, you still cling to your negative internal monologues. Why? Because you have no concrete tools to break out of your “stinking thinking” mentality.

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How does beating ourselves up and constantly ruminating about our bodies help us get what we want out of life? It doesn’t. In fact, it can cause feelings ranging from mild discontentment to severe depression.

How do you solve the problem? By making a decision: if you’re tired of beating yourself up, if you want to embrace your intrinsic worth and learn to actually start liking your body, here are some next steps to consider:

Take Notice

You can’t change what you don’t notice, so start paying attention to what you pay attention to. That means you have to key into what your mind is always focusing on during the day. Notice your self-talk and any behaviors that are self-limiting. Listen for negative patterns in your head. Are there consistent themes? Write them down. For example, you may feed yourself a steady diet of thoughts like, “I’m a loser, I’m fat; I’m unlovable because of my appearance.” Noticing these negative attributions is the first step to change.

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Watch for Thinking Errors

People who struggle with body image issues tend to gravitate toward certain thinking errors. Here are just a few of the biggies:

  • “All or nothing” thinking. I’m either perfect, or a total failure.
  • Magnifying/Catasphrophizing. Gaining a few pounds means no one will ever love me.
  • Emotional reasoning. I take my feelings and make them facts about my intrinsic worth. I feel fat so I am a loser.
  • Negative self. Negative ways of thinking that make it harder for me to achieve my goals or get what I want from life.

Watch for triggers

If TV, Internet, social media, the fashion industry, the food industry, or magazines trigger your negative feelings or feelings of inadequacy, steer clear of them for a while. This doesn’t mean you don’t read a magazine, or watch TV, it means you choose more wisely about what you want to put into your brain.

Stop Comparing

Every magazine out there will depress you if you compare yourself to the cover girls and guys. Even though you know they’re digitally enhanced, it’s still a bummer. Pay attention to who you’re comparing yourself to, and make a deliberate attempt to stop and reset your mind.

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Recognize the big four

Don’t try to be perfect: instead, practice accepting yourself. Stop judging yourself on your appearance or body image. There is a lot more to a person than how much they weigh—focus instead on your strengths and attributes. Be ware of your inner critic; try practicing being grateful for what you do have. Do not get stuck in victim mentality. The “poor me” syndrome will keep you stuck and going nowhere.

Develop positive counterstatements

Start a list of positive statements to refute the negative things you’re telling yourself: it’s important that you have some measure of belief in their veracity. Instead of saying “I hate my body”, try saying “I’m grateful I have a healthy body. I’m grateful I can go for a run or carry my child.” You may not be perfect, but who says you have to be?

Think of the bigger picture

Living in a world that places so much emphasis on how we look is hard, but there are so many things that are much more important than how much we weigh or whether we have cellulite. Try getting outside your head and do something of eternal significance. Go to Haiti to help rebuild; volunteer at a homeless shelter; or go visit someone in a nursing home. Actions like these will dramatically change your perspective about what matters.

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Perhaps the most important part of learning to like our bodies is being grateful for them.

Have you ever felt dissatisfied with your body? Ever struggled with negative self-defeating thinking when you look in the mirror? If so, what steps have you taken to beat stinking thinking?

More by this author

Rita Schulte LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

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Last Updated on September 16, 2019

How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

You have a deadline looming. However, instead of doing your work, you are fiddling with miscellaneous things like checking email, social media, watching videos, surfing blogs and forums. You know you should be working, but you just don’t feel like doing anything.

We are all familiar with the procrastination phenomenon. When we procrastinate, we squander away our free time and put off important tasks we should be doing them till it’s too late. And when it is indeed too late, we panic and wish we got started earlier.

The chronic procrastinators I know have spent years of their life looped in this cycle. Delaying, putting off things, slacking, hiding from work, facing work only when it’s unavoidable, then repeating this loop all over again. It’s a bad habit that eats us away and prevents us from achieving greater results in life.

Don’t let procrastination take over your life. Here, I will share my personal steps on how to stop procrastinating. These 11 steps will definitely apply to you too:

1. Break Your Work into Little Steps

Part of the reason why we procrastinate is because subconsciously, we find the work too overwhelming for us. Break it down into little parts, then focus on one part at the time. If you still procrastinate on the task after breaking it down, then break it down even further. Soon, your task will be so simple that you will be thinking “gee, this is so simple that I might as well just do it now!”.

For example, I’m currently writing a new book (on How to achieve anything in life). Book writing at its full scale is an enormous project and can be overwhelming. However, when I break it down into phases such as –

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  • (1) Research
  • (2) Deciding the topic
  • (3) Creating the outline
  • (4) Drafting the content
  • (5) Writing Chapters #1 to #10,
  • (6) Revision
  • (7) etc.

Suddenly it seems very manageable. What I do then is to focus on the immediate phase and get it done to my best ability, without thinking about the other phases. When it’s done, I move on to the next.

2. Change Your Environment

Different environments have different impact on our productivity. Look at your work desk and your room. Do they make you want to work or do they make you want to snuggle and sleep? If it’s the latter, you should look into changing your workspace.

One thing to note is that an environment that makes us feel inspired before may lose its effect after a period of time. If that’s the case, then it’s time to change things around. Refer to Steps #2 and #3 of 13 Strategies To Jumpstart Your Productivity, which talks about revamping your environment and workspace.

3. Create a Detailed Timeline with Specific Deadlines

Having just 1 deadline for your work is like an invitation to procrastinate. That’s because we get the impression that we have time and keep pushing everything back, until it’s too late.

Break down your project (see tip #1), then create an overall timeline with specific deadlines for each small task. This way, you know you have to finish each task by a certain date. Your timelines must be robust, too – i.e. if you don’t finish this by today, it’s going to jeopardize everything else you have planned after that. This way it creates the urgency to act.

My goals are broken down into monthly, weekly, right down to the daily task lists, and the list is a call to action that I must accomplish this by the specified date, else my goals will be put off.

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Here’re more tips on setting deadlines: 22 Tips for Effective Deadlines

4. Eliminate Your Procrastination Pit-Stops

If you are procrastinating a little too much, maybe that’s because you make it easy to procrastinate.

Identify your browser bookmarks that take up a lot of your time and shift them into a separate folder that is less accessible. Disable the automatic notification option in your email client. Get rid of the distractions around you.

I know some people will out of the way and delete or deactivate their facebook accounts. I think it’s a little drastic and extreme as addressing procrastination is more about being conscious of our actions than counteracting via self-binding methods, but if you feel that’s what’s needed, go for it.

5. Hang out with People Who Inspire You to Take Action

I’m pretty sure if you spend just 10 minutes talking to Steve Jobs or Bill Gates, you’ll be more inspired to act than if you spent the 10 minutes doing nothing. The people we are with influence our behaviors. Of course spending time with Steve Jobs or Bill Gates every day is probably not a feasible method, but the principle applies — The Hidden Power of Every Single Person Around You

Identify the people, friends or colleagues who trigger you – most likely the go-getters and hard workers – and hang out with them more often. Soon you will inculcate their drive and spirit too.

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As a personal development blogger, I “hang out” with inspiring personal development experts by reading their blogs and corresponding with them regularly via email and social media. It’s communication via new media and it works all the same.

6. Get a Buddy

Having a companion makes the whole process much more fun. Ideally, your buddy should be someone who has his/her own set of goals. Both of you will hold each other accountable to your goals and plans. While it’s not necessary for both of you to have the same goals, it’ll be even better if that’s the case, so you can learn from each other.

I have a good friend whom I talk to regularly, and we always ask each other about our goals and progress in achieving those goals. Needless to say, it spurs us to keep taking action.

7. Tell Others About Your Goals

This serves the same function as #6, on a larger scale. Tell all your friends, colleagues, acquaintances and family about your projects. Now whenever you see them, they are bound to ask you about your status on those projects.

For example, sometimes I announce my projects on The Personal Excellence Blog, Twitter and Facebook, and my readers will ask me about them on an ongoing basis. It’s a great way to keep myself accountable to my plans.

8. Seek out Someone Who Has Already Achieved the Outcome

What is it you want to accomplish here, and who are the people who have accomplished this already? Go seek them out and connect with them. Seeing living proof that your goals are very well achievable if you take action is one of the best triggers for action.

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9. Re-Clarify Your Goals

If you have been procrastinating for an extended period of time, it might reflect a misalignment between what you want and what you are currently doing. Often times, we outgrow our goals as we discover more about ourselves, but we don’t change our goals to reflect that.

Get away from your work (a short vacation will be good, else just a weekend break or staycation will do too) and take some time to regroup yourself. What exactly do you want to achieve? What should you do to get there? What are the steps to take? Does your current work align with that? If not, what can you do about it?

10. Stop Over-Complicating Things

Are you waiting for a perfect time to do this? That maybe now is not the best time because of X, Y, Z reasons? Ditch that thought because there’s never a perfect time. If you keep waiting for one, you are never going to accomplish anything.

Perfectionism is one of the biggest reasons for procrastination. Read more about why perfectionist tendencies can be a bane than a boon: Why Being A Perfectionist May Not Be So Perfect.

11. Get a Grip and Just Do It

At the end, it boils down to taking action. You can do all the strategizing, planning and hypothesizing, but if you don’t take action, nothing’s going to happen. Occasionally, I get readers and clients who keep complaining about their situations but they still refuse to take action at the end of the day.

Reality check:

I have never heard anyone procrastinate their way to success before and I doubt it’s going to change in the near future.  Whatever it is you are procrastinating on, if you want to get it done, you need to get a grip on yourself and do it.

More About Procrastination

Featured photo credit: Malvestida Magazine via unsplash.com

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