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Ultimate Hacks For The Best Christmas Ever

Ultimate Hacks For The Best Christmas Ever

This website is called Lifehack, right? Tips for Life. Well, let me share the best principle I know to hack your Christmas.

Christmas is getting very complicated: gone are the days of a family dinner and a few presents. Now, Christmas includes:

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  • Family dinners (sometimes several)
  • Christmas parties (for work or service organizations)
  • Community Christmas events, like concerts, parades and fundraisers
  • Children’s Christmas events, like concerts or visiting Santa
  • Church/Religious events (concerts, special services, etc)
  • Travelling for family/social events (driving or flying)
  • Taking a Christmas vacation (usually somewhere warm)
  • Giving gifts to close family
  • Giving gifts to others
  • Holiday decorating
  • Holiday baking or special cooking
  • Socializing informally with friends
  • Special entertainment events
  • … all the organizing the above events/activities
  • … all the legwork for the above events/activites

Of course, included in “giving gifts to close family” is shopping (which can take up a lot of time), and deciding on the gifts (which can be very stressful), buying (which adds money pressure) and wrapping. In fact, each item on the list above has a whole slew of complications that can arise, and I’m sure you are familiar with them all. The great part is, you can “hack” your Christmas using this principle:

Keep what you like, and ditch what you don’t.

Contrary to what you may think, you don’t have to do everything associated with Christmas. You can opt out of any part of it at any time, for any reason: for your sanity, because you are simply too busy, or because your in-laws are unpleasant, unkind people. For any reason at all, you can just decide to say no to any part you do not enjoy, find inspiring, or have time for. I know this might sound overly simple, but it really can be that straightforward. Which parts of Christmas do you like? Which aspects stress you out? What things excite you? Which parts are just plain unrealistic?

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As someone who grew up without Christmas, I believe I am uniquely qualified to talk about leaving things out. The religion my parents belonged to didn’t celebrate Christmas, or any of the mainstream holidays, so I grew up without any of the trappings of the holiday season. Although I now celebrate this time of year, I am lucky that I have no baggage about what to participate in and what to leave off: I celebrate Christmas in my own unique way.

If you think you might take a little flak from others when you opt out of something, just think of me, growing up without any Christmas at all. Was I teased at school? You bet. Was I the weirdo? Big time. If you choose to opt out of a Christmas event and someone bugs you about it, at least be glad you aren’t the weirdo of the school! Let the critical person say what they want to say, listen, and ask yourself this:

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  • Is this person really important to me?

If you answered *no*, then smile sweetly and say something like “well, however you choose to celebrate the holidays, I hope you have a lovely time.” Don’t debate or discuss your decision—it’s really none of their business!

If this person is *somewhat important* to you, then you may choose to elaborate a bit, giving some reasons for your decision. Don’t let their feelings influence your decision, however. You have to live your own life and make your own unique way in it.

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If you answered *yes*, then you need to consider why this person is reacting so strongly/badly. Is it because:

  • they are just generally stressed out? Stop everything, and show them that you care. Reach out, give them a neck rub, offer to do something to lighten their load or simply remind them you love them.
  • they are surprised by your decision? Apologize for this coming “out of the blue” and explain why you need to simplify Christmas. Listen to what they have to say.
  • they are under stress from obligations or others’ expectations? Talk about it. Remind them that they can say “no” to things too—we always have options. Reassure them that you want to support them, but you also need to be true to yourself.
  • they have some valid points/reasons for doing the things you want to ditch?Listen. Try to put your personal biases aside and truly listen. Use this opportunity to connect more deeply with this person, and come to a compromise.

If you want to propose a major change to your Christmas schedule, it is best if you don’t shove it on your spouse/family at the last minute—that is always more stressful. Dropping a bomb on someone is not very considerate, and using the “but I gotta be me!” line is not going to go over very well then. Try to bring it up well in advance, and when there is time to discuss it further.

I offer one last caution: don’t use this as an excuse to withdraw from everything. At this darkest time of year (literally, around the winter solstice), getting together with friends is important to keep depression at bay and help the days to pass. Good luck hacking your best Christmas!

Featured photo credit:  Waiting for Christmas via Shutterstock

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Last Updated on January 3, 2020

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand?  If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places!  Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.

1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives.  Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

 I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life … 

To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones … 

And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

 2.  Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

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4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

The most positive people are the most grateful people.  They do not focus on the potholes of their lives.  They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences.  They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.

Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do.  They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities.  They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time.  They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!

Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

7. Positive people smile a lot!

When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

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8. People who are positive are great communicators.

They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life.  They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse.  They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time.  Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.  

10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

How about you?  How many habits of positive people do you personally find in yourself?  If you lack even a few of these 10 essential habits, you might find that the expected treasure at the end of the rainbow was not all that it was cracked up to be. How could it — if you keep on bringing a negative attitude around?

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I wish you well in keeping positive, because as we all know, there is certainly nothing positive about being negative!

Featured photo credit: Janaína Castelo Branco via flickr.com

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