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From Nag To Shag – The Ultimate Marriage Hack For Men

From Nag To Shag – The Ultimate Marriage Hack For Men
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    Why are we so fascinated by all those worst-case scenario survival tips about situations that are as statistically unlikely to happen to us as winning the lottery? Some of those tips seem more useful than others, take Wikihow’s guide to surviving a shark attack.

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    Step 1) Remain Calm.” Hmm, calm during shark attack? Not so much.

    Or this advice on what to do if attacked by a bear, courtesy of the Tongass National Forest: Forest Facts webpage,

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    “If a bear actually makes contact, surrender! Fall to the ground and play dead….” So far, so good, I think I could do that. Now what?
    “… If the bear continues biting you long after you assume a defensive posture, it likely is a predatory attack.” Ya think?

    In any case, I’m not sure that my playing dead performance could survive the distraction of being repeatedly bitten by a bear.

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    How about some more useful advice? Something that there is a good chance of you actually needing and employing? Like what to do when confronted by a nagging wife? Not unlike the famous Supreme Court Justice quote about pornography, nagging is hard to define, but you know it when you see it. It’s the bane of husbands everywhere. So what should you do in this commonplace worst-case marriage scenario?

    1. Remain Calm
      Imagine yourself as the pilot of a large plane or a secret forces special operative and try to remember that all emergencies are better handled without panic. Inhale slowly and deeply and as you exhale make a conscious attempt to relax your muscles.
    2. Remove head from sand (or elsewhere)
      Much like throwing up, these marital skirmishes are always worse in the miserable anticipation. You may be thinking ‘I’d rather stick pins in my eyes than talk about our relationship’ and hoping that if you can just avoid the situation long enough, she’ll forget about it. Whilst that certainly is a popular strategy, its chances of success rank about the same of the plight of Mr. Ostrich, head hidden in the sand, hoping the lioness can’t see him.
    3. Stand your ground.
      Gird your manly loins and resist the urge to run away. Either literally, by avoiding the situation or figuratively by allowing your brain to escape whilst your body remains in the firing line. Retreat is almost always a futile endeavor in these situations and can often make things worse as it provokes a more energetic pursuit. Whilst you may be able to outrun your pursuer initially, never under-estimate her persistence; you’re going to have to sleep eventually.
    4. Face your fear
      It’s always a tactically sound move not to turn you back on the enemy. But this advice means more than that. It means figuring out for yourself what your resistance is about. Two of the most common are, fear of losing your freedom and/or fear of being shamed. Even when they are convinced their wives has the most unreasonable demands that will never be satisfied by anyone, men rarely like to feel they have failed to deliver. Once you’ve figured out what your real fear is, check out if it’s rational. If it seems likely that your fear could actually transpire, retreat immediately to safety. If not…
    5. Be assertive
      If you really want to stop her hounding you, stop running. Women are much more satisfied with 100% of you 50% of the time than they will ever be with 50% of you 100%. Ducking and diving is a recipe for disaster. Rather than trying to evade the issue, stand in your power and say what you can and want to do and then do it. Keeping your word builds trust. Trust defuses nagging. As in business, always under-promise and over-deliver. The irony is that if you actually give her the attention and connection that she is craving, she’s almost certainly going to stop needing to talk about not getting it. Imagine that!
    6. Camouflage
      See beyond the teeth and claws. Remember that it’s never about the X. It’s about her need to feel connected, respected, cared for, cherished and desired. You need to pay very close attention to what she is actually saying and yet, even more importantly what is she really wanting.
    7. Shock and awe
      This is not for the faint of heart, but as they say, faint heart never won fair lady. Do the unexpected. Move towards the roar! Instead of getting defensive or giving the cold shoulder, try disarming her with charm. If your sense of humor is something she fell in love with, goof it up. If you can manage to get her to crack a smile, it’s all over. If fancy footwork is more your style, swoop in and spin or dip her. Scoop her into your arms and give her a gentle squeeze. If nothing else, reach out and touch her, gently. It’s hard to stay angry when you’re being held.

    In conclusion, gentlemen, I give you the number one marriage hack of all time – Love the lioness and see how quickly she turns back into a happy kitty-cat.

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    The disclaimer. Men, there are no guarantees here, I offer you hope, rather than miracles with a reminder that these techniques are intended for use against common or garden nagging, they are not a get-out-of-jail card to deal with any serious offences you may have committed against the institution of marriage. Employ them at your own risk!

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    Last Updated on July 12, 2021

    100 Incredible Life Hacks That Make Life So Much Easier

    100 Incredible Life Hacks That Make Life So Much Easier
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    Want to learn some quick and easy life hacks that are easy to do, low cost and saves you time?

    By tweaking little things in your daily life, it can make your life much more convenient!

    Here’re 100 of the most practical life hacks so you can just pick up any of them right away!

    83 tie a small piece of bright colored fabric

      84 write random letter

        85 use a rubberband

          86 dorm smell bad

            87 lean your phone on your sunglassess

              89 how to waterproof your shoes

                90 take a picture of the name card

                  91 iron inside out

                    92 old newspaper

                      93 tumble try shoes

                        keep a card like this

                          SONY DSC

                            94 soap bar

                              95 make a hole

                                96 drop the battery

                                  97 use a coozie

                                    98 when taking a picture

                                      use a clean dust pan

                                        try a pants hanger

                                          use your cellphone light

                                            use a spring from an old pen

                                              quick and easy iphone speaker

                                                user binder clips

                                                  wrap a wet paper towel around your beverage

                                                    put pancake mix in a ketchup bottle

                                                      clean out an old lotion bottle for your beach

                                                        use a muffin tin to serve condiments at a bbq

                                                          doritos are great for kindling

                                                            use nail polish to identify different keys

                                                              use a hanging shoe rack to store cleaning supplies

                                                                freeze grapes to chill white wine without

                                                                  use paper clips to organize your cables

                                                                    almost finished your jar of nutella

                                                                      sick of having a box full of tangled

                                                                        unroll the rim to increase the capacity

                                                                          cut open toilet paper rolls and use as a cuff

                                                                            remove the stem from strawberries

                                                                              turn an old bottle into a simple little cord holder

                                                                                for iced coffee and iced cappuccino, use frozen coffee cubes

                                                                                  how to fold a fitted bed sheet

                                                                                    tired of snoozing past your alarm

                                                                                      place a rubber band around an open paint can to wipe your brush on

                                                                                        ut a wooden spoon across a boiling pot

                                                                                          use bread clips to save flip-flops

                                                                                            take pictures of friends holding items

                                                                                              how i always know which headphone is the left one

                                                                                                put a stocking over the end of a vacuum

                                                                                                  How to make sure you drink enough water

                                                                                                    user a can opener to open blister

                                                                                                      good sandwich guide

                                                                                                        turn your muffin pans upside down

                                                                                                          50 pounds of groceries and living on the 5th floor

                                                                                                            the right way to make a blt

                                                                                                              add one teaspoon of baking soda

                                                                                                                38

                                                                                                                  hair straighteners equals to collar irons

                                                                                                                    stack your clothes vertically to see them all

                                                                                                                      the right way to make cookies in the summer

                                                                                                                        how to clean a blender

                                                                                                                          the right way to eat a popsicle

                                                                                                                            use bread clips to label and organize power cords

                                                                                                                              to get the built up residue off of your shower head

                                                                                                                                user a hair clip to orgainize long wires

                                                                                                                                  a frozen saturated sponge in a bag

                                                                                                                                    rub stuck zipper teeth with a graphite pencil

                                                                                                                                      use a soda pop tab

                                                                                                                                        50

                                                                                                                                          51 How to multiply large numbers in your head.

                                                                                                                                            52 How to open a bottle if you dont have a corkscrew.

                                                                                                                                              rub a walnut on damaged wooden furniture

                                                                                                                                                kids fall out of bed

                                                                                                                                                  use toothpaste to clear up hazy car

                                                                                                                                                    58

                                                                                                                                                      59 keep pizza out while driving home

                                                                                                                                                        60 put your straw through the tab to keep it from rising

                                                                                                                                                          hold oreos with a fork so your fingers

                                                                                                                                                            Never lose your remotes again

                                                                                                                                                              hiding your emergency money

                                                                                                                                                                use a bread tab to hold your spot on a roll

                                                                                                                                                                  if you are at a hotel and run out of chargers

                                                                                                                                                                    keep a square of cardboard in a ziplock bag

                                                                                                                                                                      If you need to pee or smoke at a bar

                                                                                                                                                                        drill holes in the bottom of your garbage

                                                                                                                                                                          use an accented letter as your passcode

                                                                                                                                                                            use a squeeze ketchup bottle top with your shopvac

                                                                                                                                                                              do something unusual when locking the door

                                                                                                                                                                                when heating leftovers space out a circle in the middle

                                                                                                                                                                                  dont burn yourself in those hard to reach candles

                                                                                                                                                                                    put a small amount of water in a glass when you microwave your pizza

                                                                                                                                                                                      75 use a piece of paper to organize

                                                                                                                                                                                        use half a pool noodle

                                                                                                                                                                                          pencil case to store cables

                                                                                                                                                                                            78 clothespin to hold nail

                                                                                                                                                                                              79 make blts

                                                                                                                                                                                                80 take a picture of your fridge

                                                                                                                                                                                                  81 fill plastic water bottles

                                                                                                                                                                                                    82 right ways to eat chips

                                                                                                                                                                                                      99 if your plug keeps failing

                                                                                                                                                                                                        100 put the banana on the wire

                                                                                                                                                                                                          88 before you throw away a post it

                                                                                                                                                                                                            Source: Reddit LifeProTips

                                                                                                                                                                                                            There you go, 100 awesome life hacks that you can try right now to make your life a lot easier!

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