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Freshman 15: Coping with the First Year of College

Freshman 15: Coping with the First Year of College

Coping with the First Year of College

    We’re coming up on back-to-school time, and for thousands of young people everywhere, that means taking their first great big step into adult life: college. Going to school, whether you stay at home or travel across the country or around the world, can be terrifying. It can also be your life’s greatest adventure.

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    What you do in your first year of college can have a big impact on the rest of your college years – not to mention on the rest of your life. A few missteps might be possible to undo later on, but too many wrong moves and you might well find it impossible to recover later. Blow off too many classes, for example, and your grades will suffer – and no matter how much you reform your ways in ensuing years, your GPA will always suffer. Do poorly enough, and you might find yourself on academic probation or even thrown out come the end of the school year!

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    It doesn’t have to be that way. And your first year doesn’t have to be an endless drudge, either. What’s important right now is not that you bury yourself in schoolwork until you bleed, sweat, and crap knowledge, but to establish a healthy balance of academic work, social activity, and just plain living – a balance that once established, you’ll find easy to maintain through the rest of college and into your future.

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    Here, then, are my 15 tips for making the most of your freshman year:

    1. Get organized. Get yourself a sturdy file box and a set of file folders, and set up a folder for each class. Start using a planner, and keep a to-do list. Unless you’re heavily into computers, I actually don’t recommend you use software or web services to manage your schedule; most of the time, you won’t have easy access to a computer which means you won’t use those tools when you need them most. Develop a note-taking strategy and use it religiously. Keep every paper you write, every syllabus, and every handout – you never know when you’ll need to challenge a grade, prove you finished an assignment on time, or recall a book title from a previous class.
    2. Plan ahead. By the end of your first week, you’ll know when almost every assignment for the semester is due – put those on your calendar and write down a set of milestones (with due dates) you need to accomplish to finish them on time. There’s no reason you should be stressing over papers or big tests the night before they’re due. Start making good use of your time at the beginning of the semester and approach your due dates calm and relaxed. (By the way, if you think you do your best work when a deadline is bearing down on you, you’re probably wrong. Your problem isn’t the lack of a deadline, it’s a lack of motivation. Get motivated now – or seriously re-think why you’re in college, before it’s too late.)
    3. Eat right. College students often gain weight in their first year. Without mom and dad buying the groceries and planning your meals, and with easy access to pizza, microwave burritos, and cheese fries, it’s easy to lose track of just how many calories you’re consuming. Try to limit the fast food and late-night delivery, and maintain a varied diet. You can still have that meatball sub now and again, just try not to live on them.
    4. Sleep well. It’s ironic that the time in our life when we need sleep the most is the time when we’re most tempted to skimp on sleep. Adequate sleep is essential for college students. Believe it or not, it’s when you’re asleep that most of the work of learning happens – that’s when the brain processes and files away the stuff you stored in short-term memory in your classes the previous day. It’s also important for regulating your metabolism – every hour of missed sleep is like eating an extra meal! (Which is one reason for freshman weight gain.) Losing sleep causes stress, which affects performance on tests and quizzes. And, of course, consistently going to bed late makes it increasingly likely that you’ll oversleep and miss those early classes.
    5. Talk to your professors. College students tend to be intimidated by their professors. Don’t be. They’re there to help you, and for all but the meanest and laziest professors, that extends well beyond mastery of the course material. Visit a professor during his or her office hours just to chat now and again. Tell them about a book you read that deals with their course material, or ask for recommendations. And, of course, ask for help, whether with a tricky point in your readings or with big life issues – if nothing else, a professor can point you in the right  direction to find the resources you need.
    6. Join something. Sign up for a sports team, even if it’s just intramural Frisbee. Join a club, or a fraternity or sorority, or the student council. Taking part in some sort of extracurricular activity will keep you socially active (a lot of first-year students feel isolated and overwhelmed), provide an outlet for nervous energy, and maybe even teach you something new. And they don’t look bad on your resume, either.
    7. Call home. Make sure you keep in touch with your friends and family back home. Though you don’t believe it now, you’ll start growing apart form your high school friends this year, but you don’t have to let go too easily! Friends and family can really help ease the transition by grounding you in a world that’s familiar and comforting. Because they know you better than anyone else, they’ll also know when something’s wrong – often before you do!
    8. Speak up in class. College is interactive. Ask questions, answer the professor’s questions, and share your opinion as much as possible. Now is the time to break free of your high school conditioning – there are no points for sitting quietly anymore.
    9. Use the library. There are so many resources available in the library – magazines, guides to local places, databases, leisure reading, videos, and of course, the books you need for your papers. Learn as much as you can about your library, as soon as you can. Talk with the librarians about the resources available in your field. Check out the resources you can access remotely – so you don’t come up stuck when you realize you need one more reference in the middle of the night.
    10. Relax. Make a point of taking it easy now and again. Take a no-study day. Go to the park. Party. Go shopping. If you don’t do something non-class related once in a while, you’re going to burn out. Remember: balance is key. Study enough, and live enough. No more and no less.
    11. Use the gym. Many college campuses have gyms that are available free to students (or at a very low cost). Pizza, late-nighters, and early classes sap your energy pretty quickly – working out, swimming, or having a run can help recharge your batteries (And, of course, fend off that first-year weight gain.)
    12. Use public transportation. Get to know the public transportation system in your college’s town, especially if you’re living on-campus. Leave the car at home, if you can – public transportation is easier on the wallet (no insurance, no gas, no maintenance) and in many cases your school ID will get you free rides everywhere. And while you are likely too young to drink legally, if you do get drunk or high somewhere, taking the bus instead of driving home might well save your life, or someone else’s.
    13. Walk a lot. Walking is good exercise, of course, but it’s also a great way to learn the lay of the land. Explore the hidden corners of your campus, as well as the city or town around it.
    14. Get a job. You’ll feel a lot better about college if you’re not always struggling to make ends meet. Plus, a job can help you meet new people and be a good counterbalance to your course load. A part-time job at a local business or on campus is ideal, especially if you can find something related to your field of study. A few hours a week, maybe 10 or 15  if you’re really organized, is ideal – you’re working for pocket money, not to support a family. Not everyone can manage this, so be honest with yourself and quit if you start falling behind. (This point assumes you’re not paying your way through school. Some students have to work, but even so remember: school is your first job.)
    15. Don’t get a credit card. You’ll get bombarded with apparently sweet credit card deals almost from the second you step on campus (many college bookstores put credit card flyers in the bag with your textbooks!) Consider that credit card companies have fought hard for the right to turn a large profit from fees for being overdrawn, missing payments, or going over your limit – now consider how they expect to make a profit from you. Even if you never do anything to earn a penalty fee, you’ll end up paying way more than however much you charged in interest and annual fees. Stick to a bank account and debit card.

    Good luck, class of 2013!

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    Last Updated on August 12, 2019

    How To Start a Conversation with Anyone

    How To Start a Conversation with Anyone

    The hardest part of socializing, for many people, is how to start a conversation. However, it is a big mistake to go about life not making the first move and waiting for someone else to do it [in conversation or anything].

    This isn’t to say you must always be the first in everything or initiate a conversation with everyone you see. What should be said, though, is once you get good at starting conversations, a lot of other things will progress in the way you want; such as networking and your love life.

    Benefits of Initiating a Conversation

    First thing is you should acknowledge why it is a good thing to be able to initiate conversations with strangers or people who you don’t know well:

    • You’re not a loner with nothing to do.
    • You look more approachable if you are comfortable approaching others.
    • Meeting new people means developing a network of friends or peers which leads to more knowledge and experiences.

    You can only learn so much alone, and I’m sure you’re aware of the benefits of learning from others. Being able to distinguish the ‘good from bad’ amongst a group of people will help in building a suitable network, or making a fun night.

    All people are good in their own way. Being able to have a good time with anybody is a worthy trait and something to discuss another time. However, if you have a specific purpose while in social situations, you may want to stick with people who are suitable.

    This means distinguishing between people who might suit you and your ‘purpose’ from those who probably won’t. This can require some people-judging, which I am generally very opposed to. However, this does make approaching people all the more easier.

    It helps to motivate the conversation if you really want to know this person. Also, you’ll find your circle of friends and peers grows to something you really like and enjoy.

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    The Rules

    I don’t have many rules in this life, for conversation or anything; but when it comes to approaching strangers, there are a few I’d like used.

    1. Be polite. Within context, don’t be a creepy, arrogant loudmouth or anything. Acknowledge that you are in the company of strangers and don’t make anyone feel uncomfortable. First impressions mean something.
    2. Keep it light. Don’t launch into a heartfelt rant or a story of tragedy. We’re out to have fun.
    3. Don’t be a prude. This just means relax. This isn’t a science and conversation isn’t a fine art. Talk to people like you’re already friends.
    4. Be honest. Be yourself. People can tell.

    Who To Talk To?

    I’m of the ilk that likes to talk to everyone and anyone. Everyone has a story and good personalities. Some are harder to get to than others, but if you’re on a people-finding excursion, like I usually am, then everyone is pretty much fair game.

    That said, if you’re out at a function and you want to build a network of people in your niche, you will want to distinguish those people from the others. Find the ‘leaders’ in a group of people or ask around for what you’re looking for.

    In a more general environment, like at a bar, you will want to do the same sort of thing. Acknowledge what you actually want and try to distinguish suitable people. Once you find someone, or a group of people, that you want to meet and talk to, hop to it.

    Think of a few things you might have in common. What did you notice about their dress sense?

    Building Confidence

    The most important part of initiating conversation is, arguably, having confidence. It should be obvious that without any amount of self-esteem you will struggle. Having confidence in yourself and who you are makes this job very easy.

    If you find yourself doubting your worth, or how interesting you are, make a few mental notes of why you are interesting and worth talking to. There is no question you are. You just have to realize that.

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    What do I do? What is interesting about it? What are my strong points and what are my weak ones? Confident people succeed because they play on their strengths.

    Across the Room Rapport

    This is rapport building without talking. It’s as simple as reciprocated eye contact and smiles etc. Acknowledging someone else’s presence before approaching them goes a long way to making introductions easier. You are instantly no longer just a random person.

    In my other article How Not To Suck At Socializing, there are things you can do to make yourself appear approachable. This doesn’t necessarily mean people are going to flock to you. You’ll still probably need to initiate conversations.

    People notice other people who are having a blast. If you’re that person, someone will acknowledge it and will make the ‘across the room rapport’ building a breeze. If you’re that person that is getting along great with their present company, others will want to talk to you. This will make your approach more comfortable for both parties.

    The Approach

    When it comes to being social, the less analytical and formulaic you are the better. Try not to map out your every move and plan too much. Although we are talking about how to initiate conversation, these are really only tips. When it comes to the approach, though, there are some things you should keep in mind.

    Different situations call for different approaches. Formal situations call for something more formal and relaxed ones should be relaxed.

    At a work function, for instance, be a little formal and introduce yourself. People will want to know who you are and what you do right away. This isn’t to say you should only talk about work, but an introduction and handshake is appropriate.

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    If you’re at a bar, then things are very different and you should be much more open to unstructured introductions. Personally, I don’t like the idea of walking directly to someone to talk to them. It’s too direct. I like the sense of randomness that comes with meeting new people.

    However, if there is rapport already established, go for it. If not, take a wander, buy a drink and be aware of where people are. If there is someone you would like to talk to, make yourself available and not sit all night etc.

    When someone is alone and looks bored, do them a favor and approach them. No matter how bad the conversation might get, they should at least appreciate the company and friendliness.

    Briefly, Approaching Groups

    When integrating with an established group conversation, there is really one thing to know. That is to establish the ‘leader’ and introduce yourself to them. I mentioned that before, but here is how and why.

    The why is the leader of a group conversation is probably the more social and outgoing. They will more readily accept your introduction and then introduce you to the rest of the group. This hierarchy in a group conversation is much more prevalent in formal situations where one person is leading the conversation.

    A group of friends out for the night is much more difficult to crack. This may even be another topic for discussion, but one thing I know that works is initiating conversation with a ‘stray’. It sounds predatorial, but it works.

    More often than not, this occurs without intention. But if you do really want to get into a group of friends, your best bet is approaching one of them while they are away from the group and being invited into the group.

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    It is possible, like everything, to approach a group outright and join them. However, this is almost an art and requires another specific post.

    Topics Of Conversation

    Other than confidence, the next thing people who have trouble initiating conversations lack is conversation! So here are a few tips to get the ball rolling:

    • Small talk sucks. It’s boring and a lot of people already begin to zone out when questions like, “What do you do?” or “What’s with this weather?” come up. Just skip it.
    • Everything is fair game. If you are in the company of someone and a thought strikes you, share it. “This drink is garbage! What are you drinking?” “Where did you get that outfit?”
    • Opinions matter. This is any easy way to hit the ground running in conversation. Everyone has one, and when you share yours, another will reveal itself. The great thing about this line of thought is that you are instantly learning about the other person and what they like, dislike etc.
    • Environment. The place you’re in is full of things to comment on. The DJ, band, fashions; start talking about what you see.
    • Current events. Unless it’s something accessible or light-hearted, forget it. Don’t launch into your opinion on the war or politics. If your town has recently hosted a festival, ask what they think about it.

    Exiting Conversation

    Although I’d like to write a full post on exiting strategies for conversations you don’t want to be in, here are some tips:

    • The first thing is don’t stay in a conversation you’re not interested in. It’ll show and will be no fun for anyone.
    • Be polite and excuse yourself. You’re probably out with friends, go back to them.  Or buy a drink. Most people will probably want to finish the conversation as much as you.

    Likewise, you could start another conversation.

    If you’d like to learn more tips about starting a conversation, this guide maybe useful for you: How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

    Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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