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Five Things Your Kids Can Do that You Might Not Expect

Five Things Your Kids Can Do that You Might Not Expect

Kids are awesome.  Pretty much across the board, they’re funny, creative, and full of love. Most of them can tell you pretty good knock-knock jokes, entertain younger siblings with puppet shows, and remind you just how much fun a swing is.

What a lot of us parents might not realize about our kids, though, is that they are capable of amazing things that we don’t expect. But given a little encouragement (ok, maybe a lot of encouragement for a really long time), most kids will thoroughly impress you with good manners, kind gestures, and a clean bedroom.

Once your kids have mastered these, you can tackle bigger projects like initiating world peace and ending global warming. Trust me, they can do it.

Be Polite

By the time kids are about 18 months they can be encouraged to use the words “please” and “thank you,” although it may be more of an emerging habit at that point than true understanding of the concepts. However, a short six months later, kids more or less understand when and why they should use those polite phrases.

Of course being polite goes beyond “please” and “thank you.” As young as two years old, kids can grasp the concept that serves as the Emily Post Institute’s definition of etiquette: “treating people with consideration, respect, and honesty, and being aware of how our actions affect those around us.” Although at such a young age you can’t expect kids to always behave with such grace, you can begin encouraging it.

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What You Can Do

Beyond infancy, you can start encouraging polite behavior in your kids at any age. Decide what your goals are (there are a lot of great suggestions in the book, 365 Manners Your Kids Should Know) and then demonstrate them yourself while consistently encouraging them in your kids. It may be a long process but the first time you’re complimented in a restaurant because your kids are so delightful, you’ll know it’s worth it.

Share

Parents of toddlers will no doubt shake their heads at this one, but it’s true. By the time kids are in preschool they’re primed for empathy, the basis of sharing.

What You Can Do

First, let’s back up and define sharing as to willingly offer or distribute something. Forcing a child to give up a toy because another child wants it isn’t the same as sharing and is more likely to instill resentment than encourage empathy. Instead set up a standard of taking turns, reward your child with a kind word when they offer toys to siblings and friends and always keep the whole experience upbeat with positive reinforcement.

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Harvey Karp, MD, author of The Happiest Toddler on the Block, also suggests letting your child choose a few special things to set aside before play dates, giving them some control over what they share and what they don’t.

Demonstrate sharing yourself and point it out when you see other people sharing. Talking about it positively, even when your child isn’t actively sharing, will help your child see it as an activity that he can enjoy.

Be Patient

How many times have you stopped talking to someone mid-sentence or abandoned what you were doing mid-movement to address a child’s need (or want)? I doubt I could even count the number of times I’ve done it. That is until I read the book, Bébé Day by Day by Pamela Drukerman and learned that isn’t how things are for French parents. If in France, why not in my house too?

What You Can Do

Basically, you have to make them wait—often. It’s that simple. Start by slowing down your responses and finishing whatever it is you’re doing before addressing their needs (unless they’re truly urgent, of course). Explain that you’ll look at the artwork, read the book, answer the question (whatever it may be) in a minute or two.

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Treat your kids like they are capable of waiting. When they don’t wait patiently for you (and they surely won’t the first million or so times), calmly remind them to wait and explain why. Make it clear that you expect them to show patience and eventually—if you’re patient—they will.

Help Out

You’ll drive yourself crazy if you try to do everything for everyone until the kids go to college; and you may be sending some irresponsible young adults off to that ivy league school, on top of it. Helping out around the house instills responsibility in kids and actually increases their sense of self-worth because they know that they’re an important part of a team.

What You Can Do

Match the chores to your child’s age—it shouldn’t be too difficult or too easy for them. You know your child best, but here’s a pretty good guide to give you some ideas. You can also make it a family event: have your kids do their chores while you’re doing (some of) yours. It feels less like a chore when the whole family pitches in (and you put on some fun music). You’ll be amazed at how fast a job can get done when it happens before something everyone is looking forward to: “we can’t go to the pool until the playroom is nice and neat.”

Be Friends with Siblings

It may seem like kids come wired to fight with their siblings but in fact getting them to interact peacefully is easier than you might think.

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What You Can Do

Be fair. Kids as young as 18 months have a sense of fairness and will protest (often loudly) when something seems unjust—particularly if a sibling is involved. Your actions don’t have to be exactly the same for each child all the time, they only have to be perceived as fair by your kids. Christine Carter at the Greater Good Science Center offers suggestions for determining what’s probably fair in the eyes of kids in this article.

Talk about your kids as best friends—all the time. Kids believe what we tell them and if we encourage their friendship (when they’re getting along and when they aren’t) they’ll absorb it and act accordingly.

Encourage them to comfort each other. While most parents fly into action when a head gets bumped or a Lego structure is smashed to bits accidentally, you can do a lot to build a strong friendship between siblings by quietly encouraging the sibling to step up with the hug, kiss or helpful Lego-building hands.

Folding these good habits into your family life will benefit everyone: your kids will elicit praise from teachers, family members and restaurant patrons everywhere and you’ll no doubt discover that managing your brood is easier and more enjoyable.

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Last Updated on November 19, 2019

20 Time Management Tips to Super Boost Your Productivity

20 Time Management Tips to Super Boost Your Productivity

Are you usually punctual or late? Do you finish things within the time you stipulate? Do you hand in your reports/work on time? Are you able to accomplish what you want to do before deadlines? Are you a good time manager?

If your answer is “no” to any of the questions above, that means you’re not managing your time as well as you want. Here are 20 time management tips to help you manage time better:

1. Create a Daily Plan

Plan your day before it unfolds. Do it in the morning or even better, the night before you sleep. The plan gives you a good overview of how the day will pan out. That way, you don’t get caught off guard. Your job for the day is to stick to the plan as best as possible.

2. Peg a Time Limit to Each Task

Be clear that you need to finish X task by 10am, Y task by 3pm, and Z item by 5:30pm. This prevents your work from dragging on and eating into time reserved for other activities.

3. Use a Calendar

Having a calendar is the most fundamental step to managing your daily activities. If you use outlook or lotus notes, calendar come as part of your mailing software.

I use it. It’s even better if you can sync your calendar to your mobile phone and other hardwares you use – that way, you can access your schedule no matter where you are. Here’re the 10 Best Calendar Apps to Stay on Track .

Find out more tips about how to use calendar for better time management here: How to Use a Calendar to Create Time and Space

4. Use an Organizer

An organizer helps you to be on top of everything in your life. It’s your central tool to organize information, to-do lists, projects, and other miscellaneous items.

These Top 15 Time Management Apps and Tools can help you organize better, pick one that fits your needs.

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5. Know Your Deadlines

When do you need to finish your tasks? Mark the deadlines out clearly in your calendar and organizer so you know when you need to finish them.

But make sure you don’t make these 10 Common Mistakes When Setting Deadlines.

6. Learn to Say “No”

Don’t take on more than you can handle. For the distractions that come in when you’re doing other things, give a firm no. Or defer it to a later period.

Leo Babauta, the founder of Zen Habits has some great insights on how to say no: The Gentle Art of Saying No

7. Target to Be Early

When you target to be on time, you’ll either be on time or late. Most of the times you’ll be late. However, if you target to be early, you’ll most likely be on time.

For appointments, strive to be early. For your deadlines, submit them earlier than required.

Learn from these tips about how to prepare yourself to be early, instead of just in time.

8. Time Box Your Activities

This means restricting your work to X amount of time. Why time boxing is good for you? Here’re 10 reasons why you should start time-boxing.

You can also read more about how to do time boxing here: #5 of 13 Strategies To Jumpstart Your Productivity.

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9. Have a Clock Visibly Placed Before You

Sometimes we are so engrossed in our work that we lose track of time. Having a huge clock in front of you will keep you aware of the time at the moment.

10. Set Reminders 15 Minutes Before

Most calendars have a reminder function. If you have an important meeting to attend, set that alarm 15 minutes before.

You can learn more about how reminders help you remember everything in this article: The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder That Works)

11. Focus

Are you multi-tasking so much that you’re just not getting anything done? If so, focus on just one key task at one time. Multitasking is bad for you.

Close off all the applications you aren’t using. Close off the tabs in your browser that are taking away your attention. Focus solely on what you’re doing. You’ll be more efficient that way.

Lifehack’s CEO has written a definitive guide on how to focus, learn the tips: How to Focus and Maximize Your Productivity (the Definitive Guide)

12. Block out Distractions

What’s distracting you in your work? Instant messages? Phone ringing? Text messages popping in?

I hardly ever use chat nowadays. The only times when I log on is when I’m not intending to do any work. Otherwise it gets very distracting.

When I’m doing important work, I also switch off my phone. Calls during this time are recorded and I contact them afterward if it’s something important. This helps me concentrate better.

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Find more tips on how to minimize distractions to achieve more in How to Minimize Distraction to Get Things Done

13. Track Your Time Spent

When you start to track your time, you’re more aware of how you spend your time. For example, you can set a simple countdown timer to make sure that you finish a task within a period of time, say 30 minutes or 1 hour. The time pressure can push you to stay focused and work more efficiently.

You can find more time tracking apps here and pick one that works for you.

14. Don’t Fuss About Unimportant Details

You’re never get everything done in exactly the way you want. Trying to do so is being ineffective.

Trying to be perfect does you more harm than good, learn here about how perfectionism kills your productivity and how to ditch the perfectionism mindset.

15. Prioritize

Since you can’t do everything, learn to prioritize the important and let go of the rest.

Apply the 80/20 principle which is a key principle in prioritization. You can also take up this technique to prioritize everything on your plate: How to Prioritize Right in 10 Minutes and Work 10X Faster

16. Delegate

If there are things that can be better done by others or things that are not so important, consider delegating. This takes a load off and you can focus on the important tasks.

When you delegate some of your work, you free up your time and achieve more. Learn about how to effectively delegate works in this guide: How to Delegate Work (the Definitive Guide for Successful Leaders)

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17. Batch Similar Tasks Together

For related work, batch them together.

For example, my work can be categorized into these core groups:

  1. writing (articles, my upcoming book)
  2. coaching
  3. workshop development
  4. business development
  5. administrative

I batch all the related tasks together so there’s synergy. If I need to make calls, I allocate a time slot to make all my calls. It really streamlines the process.

18. Eliminate Your Time Wasters

What takes your time away your work? Facebook? Twitter? Email checking? Stop checking them so often.

One thing you can do is make it hard to check them – remove them from your browser quick links / bookmarks and stuff them in a hard to access bookmarks folder. Replace your browser bookmarks with important work-related sites.

While you’ll still checking FB/Twitter no doubt, you’ll find it’s a lower frequency than before.

19. Cut off When You Need To

The number one reason why things overrun is because you don’t cut off when you have to.

Don’t be afraid to intercept in meetings or draw a line to cut-off. Otherwise, there’s never going to be an end and you’ll just eat into the time for later.

20. Leave Buffer Time In-Between

Don’t pack everything closely together. Leave a 5-10 minute buffer time in between each tasks. This helps you wrap up the previous task and start off on the next one.

More Time Management Techniques

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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