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Finding Your Personal Style, Lesson #3: Create Your Own Visual Style

Finding Your Personal Style, Lesson #3: Create Your Own Visual Style

There is something fundamentally important in being different, in setting yourself apart from the masses to be unique. It is the ability to be different without fading yourself out from society and things going on around you. Being different means drawing from people and happenings around you and trying to turn every movement, moment, and every impression into something you can use as a) a source of inspiration or b) something that gives you a new perspective on the way you see yourself and/or others see you.

Fashion designer Donna Karan once put it perfectly by saying that “an interest in fashion (or yourself) doesn’t necessarily imply a disconnect from the world.” In most cases, it means that those who are aware of who they are or try to become more acquainted with themselves actually have a higher interest in other people or are more attentive to what is going on around them.
An interest in fashion as well as in developing your own style implies that you are not just connected to the fashion world of runway shows and VOGUE — it means taking on your environment, getting inspired by the space you live in and translate it into something you can draw from, something that makes you grow personality-wise and therefore, also style-wise.

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Lesson #3: “Create Your Own Visual Style… let it be unique for yourself and yet identifiable for others.” —Orson Welles

The ability to think visually is something you can train if you try hard. It is about training your imagination as well as your brain. To think visually means being educated and knowing a lot about your environment, its history, people, emotions, literature, etc. Thinking visually implies having the ability to transform every mood into something you can draw from — may it be a certain word or text, people or their behavior, a city or a its buildings.

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There are so many things to be inspired by; so many words to write and read, so many dresses to wear, so many style directions one could develop into. It is all about development. Focus on analyzing your environment, look at small things, find the flaw in things and the beauty as well, look carefully at where you are and who you are with. Then, take a second look and maybe even a third. Keep in mind that impressions change the more often you get them. Some impressions can never be made a second time, like the first. Keep that in mind and react upon what is out there right in front of your eyes. Turn the invisible visible. Make it approachable to you. Fit it to your mood and needs and personality.

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Create your own visual style. Look at other people, look at pictures, look at celebrities, look characters from books, look at whoever or whatever you want to look at. Then, try to transform what you saw into something you can work it. Analyze it; don’t just see the things you like and would love to be. See what hides behind the obvious surface, take a close look at things and also keep in mind that things never are always lipgloss and roses — every surface sometimes cracks. Mostly, it is those cracks that make it special and different, identifiable but at the same time unique.

Being different doesn’t necessarily imply that you have to put on a wig and a show and just do your thing no matter what. Being different means working out your best features, underlining them and developing yourself throughout the process of finding out who you are and how YOU actually look like versus how you want to look like. There is no space for playing pretend or playing games — developing style can only come from the true within, from who you are underneath the makeup and clothes and skin and bones. Remember that the inside reflects the outside and vice versa — dress according to that.

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Last Updated on January 3, 2020

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand?  If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places!  Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.

1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives.  Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

 I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life … 

To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones … 

And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

 2.  Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

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4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

The most positive people are the most grateful people.  They do not focus on the potholes of their lives.  They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences.  They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.

Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do.  They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities.  They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time.  They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!

Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

7. Positive people smile a lot!

When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

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8. People who are positive are great communicators.

They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life.  They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse.  They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time.  Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.  

10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

How about you?  How many habits of positive people do you personally find in yourself?  If you lack even a few of these 10 essential habits, you might find that the expected treasure at the end of the rainbow was not all that it was cracked up to be. How could it — if you keep on bringing a negative attitude around?

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I wish you well in keeping positive, because as we all know, there is certainly nothing positive about being negative!

Featured photo credit: Janaína Castelo Branco via flickr.com

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