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Common Meditation Mistakes You Can Avoid Now

Common Meditation Mistakes You Can Avoid Now

Who has time to meditate?

You do! As long as it doesn’t take 8 hrs a day! Avoid these mistakes to make your practice more effective, leaving you more time for the enlightened life.

1. Spiritual Bypassing

Spiritual bypassing is when we use spirituality to distract us from feelings we’re going to have to come back to. Bypassing makes our practice less effective, and slows our spiritual growth even though it can feel good in the short term. How to avoid bypassing? Make sure you are centered and grounded in your body when you practice. Connect to your emotions and allow your practice to include them, not avoid them. If you’re having too much of an ‘up and out’ of body experience, you may not be grounded enough and are in possible bypass territory. To learn more about spiritual bypassing, read Flint Sparks fine article and Ingrid Mathieu’s piece in Psychology Today.

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2. Shortcuts

Although meditation can include time in the car, washing dishes and gardening, time spent in formal practice is important to activating the other times you practice. It is often during these more formal sitting times that the practice deepens the most. Don’t rush your practice during these times. To get the full deepening effect, set aside at least one hour to sit in meditation without distractions. You can set a clock in front of you to discourage shortening the practice. Formal practice, like a vision quest, deepens in phases over time. You need enough time to shed the busyness of the world, your thoughts, and move through emotions into the essence of who you are. You may notice a shift at each 15 minute increment of your practice, which can supply extra motivation to keep going.

3. Not starting

Obviously, meditation works better if you do it. The best practice is the one you actually do. We may have the best intentions to set aside time for our practice, but how often do we get to it? Here’s a trick for ‘getting in the boat,’ so to speak, which will then feel so good you’ll want to keep going. Tell yourself you’re only going to sit for two minutes and then get up. The two minutes will feel good, even if you do get up. But what tends to happen is once you’re in practice, your nervous system feels the effects of it and you want to continue. Meditation is often more relaxing and restful than sleep. Take advantage of this trick to stay connected to your practice daily.

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4. Gimmicky versions

There are many modern variations on traditional meditation. Many of them can dilute the practice. I’m not saying only old-school meditation works, but that’s kind of what I’m saying. Many modern gimmicky systems are developed by teachers who do not have in-depth spiritual training and think their re-invention of the wheel is better than what’s out there. Keep in mind that traditional schools of training have many hundreds if not thousands of years of experience teaching meditation and watching students grow through the practice. Two hundred years of modern science has a lot to contribute, but spiritual growth is an ancient pursuit. Gimmicky versions are sometimes nice to capture our attention and bring our focus back to the importance of training the mind, but as a serious practitioner, beware of these modern variations on an ancient science.

5. Being your own teacher

Some people are sensitive to this one. OK fine, be your own teacher. While you’re at it, teach yourself physics, advanced math, how to dance Salsa and a pro-level sport. We all benefit from great teachers in the areas we want to excel in. Spirituality is no different. A meditation instructor can smooth out any rough areas in your practice, make if more powerful and effective, and help you avoid common errors. Over time, as you and your practice change, a good teacher can help adapt the practice to best fit your current stage of growth, just like a good golf teacher uses slightly different methods at varying points in a player’s development. Of course, watch out for folks masquerading as teachers who are more interested in benefits to themselves. But don’t let charlatans stop you from seeking a qualified and worthy instructor. It can make a big difference.

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6. Day vs. night

Meditating during the day is good. Meditating in the early morning and evening times can be better. Meditating in the middle of the night can be best. There’s a reason so many monks wake up in the night to practice. It’s quiet. There’s nothing going on. There’s nothing else to do. You can go deep without distractions. Meditating at 3 am has a different feel than practicing during the day. You’ll notice how your system picks up the energy of the world and of activity around you. Early morning and before-bed times are quieter and can facilitate going deeper than meditating in the middle of the day. The dead of night, however, is a particularly magical time to practice.

7. Using too many props

Some props can help practitioners focus, but beware of relying on them too much. The point of meditation is to become comfortable with yourself, to become satisfied with your own internal experience of life. Toward that end, it can be helpful to sit with yourself and have to face yourself just as you are, as you came into this world, with nothing. Too many props can distract from the experience of your core nature. For example, some people have their pillow, their beads, their sacred water, their altar, a candle, lighting just right, another person, etc. Then, practice becomes difficult if they don’t have those things. A couple things to help you stay awake or focused may be supportive to your practice, but if you don’t need them, consider keeping props to a minimum. Try meditating in the dark, with no props, no music, just you. It’s a worthwhile experiment.

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8. Relying on guided meditations

Guided meditations can help some get in touch with their inner selves and access the quiet space within, but you may not want to rely on them every time you practice. Meditation helps you get in touch with yourself. If we rely on someone else to walk us through the experience too much, it can become a crutch. There’s a time to have an experienced co-pilot showing you the ropes, a time to have that person there with you while you try the controls, and a time to fly the plane on your own. A combination of guided and solo meditations can offer the best of both worlds.

9. Not expanding your practice

In #2 above we explored the importance of full-length formal practice. Assuming that’s a part of the routine, broadening meditation to include other parts of the day is important. Meditation is an all-weather practice, meaning it is designed as an anytime/anywhere event. In fact, the point of meditation is to eventually live the meditation, to erase the line between practice and non-practice. Try practicing eyes open at times, while in conversation, or while working. It’s a mistake to keep your spiritual connection only for the times you sit down in practice.

Now go get ’em!

Meditation is a great way to process feelings, expand resilience, further integrate parts of us, and train our mind to focus on what matters most to us. A daily practice can sharpen our mind to help us with our career goals, relationships, and personal lives. Avoiding these common mistakes can make your practice more effective and powerful, concentrating it toward the fruits of meditation: To know ourselves fully, to reign in the monkey mind, to realize the oneness of all things and to feel peace and love in our hearts.

Featured photo credit: 123rf.com/Wavebreak Media Ltd via 123rf.com

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

How to Stay Calm and Cool When You Are Extremely Stressful

How to Stay Calm and Cool When You Are Extremely Stressful

Being in a hurry all the time drains your energy. Your work and routine life make you feel overwhelmed. Getting caught up in things beyond your control stresses you out…

If you’d like to stay calm and cool in stressful situations, put the following 8 steps into practice:

1. Breathe

The next time you’re faced with a stressful situation that makes you want to hurry, stop what you’re doing for one minute and perform the following steps:

  • Take five deep breaths in and out (your belly should come forward with each inhale).
  • Imagine all that stress leaving your body with each exhale.
  • Smile. Fake it if you have to. It’s pretty hard to stay grumpy with a goofy grin on your face.

Feel free to repeat the above steps every few hours at work or home if you need to.

2. Loosen up

After your breathing session, perform a quick body scan to identify any areas that are tight or tense. Clenched jaw? Rounded shoulders? Anything else that isn’t at ease?

Gently touch or massage any of your body parts that are under tension to encourage total relaxation. It might help to imagine you’re in a place that calms you: a beach, hot tub, or nature trail, for example.

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3. Chew slowly

Slow down at the dinner table if you want to learn to be patient and lose weight. Shoveling your food down as fast as you can is a surefire way to eat more than you need to (and find yourself with a bellyache).

Be a mindful eater who pays attention to the taste, texture, and aroma of every dish. Chew slowly while you try to guess all of the ingredients that were used to prepare your dish.

Chewing slowly will also reduce those dreadful late-night cravings that sneak up on you after work.

4. Let go

Cliche as it sounds, it’s very effective.

The thing that seems like the end of the world right now?

It’s not. Promise.

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Stressing and worrying about the situation you’re in won’t do any good because you’re already in it, so just let it go.

Letting go isn’t easy, so here’s a guide to help you:

21 Things To Do When You Find It Hard To Let Go

5. Enjoy the journey

Focusing on the end result can quickly become exhausting. Chasing a bold, audacious goal that’s going to require a lot of time and patience? Split it into several mini-goals so you’ll have several causes for celebration.

Stop focusing on the negative thoughts. Giving yourself consistent positive feedback will help you grow patience, stay encouraged, and find more joy in the process of achieving your goals.

6. Look at the big picture

The next time you find your stress level skyrocketing, take a deep breath, and ask yourself:

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Will this matter to me…

  • Next week?
  • Next month?
  • Next year?
  • In 10 years?

Hint: No, it won’t.

I bet most of the stuff that stresses you wouldn’t matter the next week, maybe not even the next day.

Stop agonizing over things you can’t control because you’re only hurting yourself.

7. Stop demanding perfection of yourself

You’re not perfect and that’s okay. Show me a person who claims to be perfect and I’ll show you a dirty liar.

Demanding perfection of yourself (or anybody else) will only stress you out because it just isn’t possible.

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8. Practice patience every day

Below are a few easy ways you can practice patience every day, increasing your ability to remain calm and cool in times of stress:

  • The next time you go to the grocery store, get in the longest line.
  • Instead of going through the drive-thru at your bank, go inside.
  • Take a long walk through a secluded park or trail.

Final thoughts

Staying calm in stressful situations is possible, all you need is some daily practice.

Taking deep breaths and eat mindfully are some simple ways to train your brain to be more patient. But changing the way you think of a situation and staying positive are most important in keeping cool whenever you feel overwhelmed and stressful.

Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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