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Children Gone: What to Do With Belongings Left Behind

Children Gone: What to Do With Belongings Left Behind

    In honor of Mother’s Day, a post that we’re sure many moms can relate to…

    “I can’t believe she left her room such a mess!,” my frustrated client lamented following the exodus of her first child to college. As I looked around the room littered with books, clothes, memorabilia, shoes, old school papers and various forms of trash I could certainly understand her reaction. Since that time I have worked with other frustrated parents left reeling from the emotional upheaval of their children leaving home and then feeling burdened with the mess of belongings left behind. What’s a parent to do?

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    When children leave their belongings in a mess when they leave home, I believe parents have the right to take action to restore order in their home. When children leave physical chaos behind them it communicates to parents that those things aren’t very important. Since their belongings are subject to scrutiny by parents, they could be thrown away if they are deemed unimportant. Hmmmm. . . I wonder how many children have considered that what they have left behind could be tossed in the trash.

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    Parents have several choices about what to do with their children’s belongings once they’ve left home. The option that is chosen often depends on how often the child will be returning home to visit.

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    1. Leave as is. This is the path of least resistance. Just shut the door and walk away. Since feng shui teaches that everything is connected, however, you may not see the mess and chaos of the space every day, but its negative energy will have an effect on the energy of the home and on everyone living in the home. And, you’ll still know that the mess is there. Many women in particular find a stagnant mess very disturbing.
    2. Box them up and store them. With this approach you just throw everything into boxes and move them to the attic or a storage unit. The benefit is that you are able to reclaim the room for your own use. The downside is that you are either paying for a storage unit to house things that don’t belong to you or your valuable storage area at home is consumed with things that are meaningless to you.
    3. Go through them and keep only those things that seem to have value. Many parents have a good idea of what might be important to their children and are able to do a first pass through their belongings, whittling the mass of stuff down to the most precious and valuable belongings. Items commonly kept are seasonal and formal clothing, audio-visual equipment, musical instruments and memorabilia. Items deemed unimportant can be sent to a charity or thrown in the trash. Those items left behind are organized and ready to present to the child on their next visit home.
    4. Give children a deadline to go through their belongings before you get rid of them. Some parents are either unable to deal with their children’s belongings or just don’t want to do it. I’ve worked with many frustrated parents who just want their space back. They have asked their children to make decisions about their things and take what is valuable to them, and have been completely ignored by their children. It’s as if the parents are being held hostage by the things. My advice to them, after they have informed their children of their wishes for them to take ownership of those things that still matter to them, is to give their children a deadline. Let the children know that they have until the deadline to go through and take those things that still matter to them. After the deadline their belongings will be taken to a charity or the dump. And, it’s essential that parents honor the deadline and take action once it is reached. Setting a deadline is a way for them to take their own personal power back and not feel victimized by their children’s disregard for their request and their feelings. It can also be a very important lesson for children about taking responsibility for their things.

    Of course there are always extenuating circumstances that affect what you do regarding children and their belongings. For example, you most likely will cut your child some slack if they are in college, the military or overseas on a special job assignment and unable to do anything about their things. Or, your child may not yet live in a home large enough to accommodate their things.

    The important thing to remember is that there comes a time when you are not only doing yourself a disservice by continuing to house your children’s belongings, you are doing them a disservice. As long as a significant quantity of their things are still in your home, energetically they haven’t completely left home. Their belongings hold their energy and as long as those things are still in your house, it’s as if parts of them are still living at home. There comes a day when it’s time for them to leave the nest completely. They can’t fully mature and get on with their lives if part of them is still hanging out at your house.

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    Last Updated on August 12, 2019

    12 Best Foods That Improve Memory and Brain Health

    12 Best Foods That Improve Memory and Brain Health

    Nutrition plays a vital role in brain function and staying sharp into the golden years. Personally, my husband is going through medical school, which is like a daily mental marathon. Like any good wife, I am always looking for things that will boost his memory fortitude so he does his best in school.

    But you don’t have to be a med student to appreciate better brainiac brilliance. If you combine certain foods with good hydration, proper sleep and exercise, you may just rival Einstein and have a great memory in no time.

    I’m going to reveal the list of foods coming out of the kitchen that can improve your memory and make you smarter.

    Here are 12 best brain foods that improve memory and brain power:

    1. Nuts

    The American Journal of Epidemiology published a study linking higher intakes of vitamin E with the prevention on cognitive decline.[1]

    Nuts like walnuts and almonds (along with other great foods like avocados) are a great source of vitamin E.

    Cashews and sunflower seeds also contain an amino acid that reduces stress by boosting serotonin levels.

    Walnuts even resemble the brain, just in case you forget the correlation, and are a great source of omega 3 fatty acids, which also improve your mental magnitude.

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    2. Blueberries

    Shown in studies at Tuffs University to benefit both short-term memory and coordination, blueberries pack quite a punch in a tiny blue package.[2]

    When compared to other fruits and veggies, blueberries were found to have the highest amount of antioxidants (especially flavonoids), but strawberries, raspberries, and blackberries are also full of brain benefits.

    3. Tomatoes

    Tomatoes are packed full of the antioxidant lycopene, which has shown to help protect against free-radical damage most notably seen in dementia patients.

    4. Broccoli

    While all green veggies are important and rich in antioxidants and vitamin C, broccoli is a superfood even among these healthy choices.

    Since your brain uses so much fuel (it’s only 3% of your body weight but uses up to 17% of your energy), it is more vulnerable to free-radical damage and antioxidants help eliminate this threat.

    Broccoli is packed full of antioxidants, is well-known as a powerful cancer fighter and is also full of vitamin K, which is known to enhance cognitive function.

    5. Foods Rich in Essential Fatty Acids

    Your brain is the fattest organ (not counting the skin) in the human body, and is composed of 60% fat. That means that your brain needs essential fatty acids like DHA and EPA to repair and build up synapses associated with memory.

    The body does not naturally produce essential fatty acids so we must get them in our diet.

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    Eggs, flax, and oily fish like salmon, sardines, mackerel and herring are great natural sources of these powerful fatty acids. Eggs also contain choline, which is a necessary building block for the neurotransmitter acetylcholine, to help you recall information and concentrate.

    6. Soy

    Soy, along with many other whole foods mentioned here, are full of proteins that trigger neurotransmitters associated with memory.

    Soy protein isolate is a concentrated form of the protein that can be found in powder, liquid, or supplement form.

    Soy is valuable for improving memory and mental flexibility, so pour soy milk over your cereal and enjoy the benefits.

    7. Dark Chocolate

    When it comes to chocolate, the darker the better. Try to aim for at least 70% cocoa. This yummy desert is rich in flavanol antioxidants which increase blood flow to the brain and shield brain cells from aging.

    Take a look at this article if you want to know more benefits of dark chocolate: 15 Surprising and Science-Backed Health Effects of Dark Chocolate

    8. Foods Rich in Vitamins: B vitamins, Folic Acid, Iron

    Some great foods to obtain brain-boosting B vitamins, folic acid and iron are kale, chard, spinach and other dark leafy greens.

    B6, B12 and folic acid can reduce levels of homocysteine in the blood. Homocysteine increases are found in patients with cognitive impairment like Alzheimer’s, and high risk of stroke.

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    Studies showed when a group of elderly patients with mild cognitive impairment were given high doses of B6, B12, and folic acid, there was significant reduction in brain shrinkage compared to a similar placebo group.[3]

    Other sources of B vitamins are liver, eggs, soybeans, lentils and green beans. Iron also helps accelerate brain function by carrying oxygen. If your brain doesn’t get enough oxygen, it can slow down and people can experience difficulty concentrating, diminished intellect, and a shorter attention span.

    To get more iron in your diet, eat lean meats, beans, and iron-fortified cereals. Vitamin C helps in iron absorption, so don’t forget the fruits!

    9. Foods Rich in Zinc

    Zinc has constantly demonstrated its importance as a powerful nutrient in memory building and thinking. This mineral regulates communications between neurons and the hippocampus.

    Zinc is deposited within nerve cells, with the highest concentrations found in the hippocampus, the part of the brain responsible for higher learning function and memory.

    Some great sources of zinc are pumpkin seeds, liver, nuts, and peas.

    10. Gingko Biloba

    This herb has been utilized for centuries in eastern culture and is best known for its memory boosting brawn.

    It can increase blood flow in the brain by dilating vessels, increasing oxygen supply and removing free radicals.

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    However, don’t expect results overnight: this may take a few weeks to build up in your system before you see improvements.

    11. Green and Black Tea

    Studies have shown that both green and black tea prevent the breakdown of acetylcholine—a key chemical involved in memory and lacking in Alzheimer’s patients.

    Both teas appear to have the same affect on Alzheimer’s disease as many drugs utilized to combat the illness, but green tea wins out as its affects last a full week versus black tea which only lasts the day.

    Find out more about green tea here: 11 Health Benefits of Green Tea (+ How to Drink It for Maximum Benefits)

    12. Sage and Rosemary

    Both of these powerful herbs have been shown to increase memory and mental clarity, and alleviate mental fatigue in studies.

    Try to enjoy these savory herbs in your favorite dishes.

    When it comes to mental magnitude, eating smart can really make you smarter. Try to implement more of these readily available nutrients and see just how brainy you can be!

    More About Boosting Brain Power

    Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

    Reference

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