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Celebrate Valentine’s Day with your Lover every Day of the Year!

Celebrate Valentine’s Day with your Lover every Day of the Year!

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    We are now at that time of the year again when people go crazy in proclaiming their love for their loved ones on Valentine’s Day. But putting aside all the commercial hype, just what is really going on here?!

    If you are in a relationship, is it what you always dreamed about? And why should you only celebrate and demonstrate your love on just one day of the year?

    In a dream relationship, you bring out the best in one another and make yourself stronger together as a team than apart. Such a relationship helps you become a better person and provides you with the happiness that you deserve.

    If you have been together for a long time, you could take each other for granted. This does not imply that your love for each other is fading, simply a lack of effort. Be willing to make the time and effort for each other.

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    Be realistic too and accept that no one person is ever going to fulfil your every need and desire. Truly committing yourself to someone requires insight, trust, and being open to vulnerability. Finding such a person and respecting your judgement are a prerequisite to creating an everlasting, happy relationship.

    Here are some ways of making your relationship even more special and celebrating Valentine’s Day EVERY day of the year.

    1. Get clear on what you want from the relationship. Make the fulfilment of your short term and long term needs the criteria for choosing a partner and being in a relationship. Create and share a vision of your dream life together.

    2. Accept your partner just as they are. Your partner is a very special human being – the only one in the world like them, with their own wonderful traits and unique gifts. Truly love the whole beautiful package they came in.

    They are entitled to their own decisions, hobbies, goals and hopes. Find out their deepest desires and get as excited about them, as you are about yours. And remember too that this wonderful human being is prepared to spend their life with you despite knowing all your shortcomings!

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    3. Be generous and loving in all your dealings with your partner. Give unconditionally, rather than wanting something back in return. A lot of relationships work on a 50 / 50 basis whereby partners do things for each other only on a tit for tat basis. Instead, commit 100% to doing things for your partner, and with zero expectation. If your partner gives you their commitment on the same 100% / zero basis, then you will both be in Nirvana!

    4. Always be in integrity. Commit to tell your partner the total truth, as honesty is one of the key things people want in a relationship. Knowing they can trust you builds a zone of safety and comfort around them.

    5. Resolve your differences as soon as they happen. Conflict actually fuels a genuinely passionate partnership. So accept responsibility for your part of the issue at stake, and do not blame your partner. The sooner you stop blaming and start talking, the better you will feel.

    Never go to sleep with an unresolved issue. Last thing at night, tell your partner what you love about them being in your life.

    6. Do not criticise. It is ok to complain but not criticise. Your partner is doing the best they can – support them in becoming an even better person – you will benefit in the long term. NEVER put your partner down in front of other people.

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    7. Create a haven for your partner. Make them feel so safe and secure with you, that they drop all their defensiveness. It is natural to feel fear and you can help them overcome it with lots of tender loving care.

    Thoughtfulness is so important in a healthy relationship. So be considerate of your partner’s feelings and treat them with the utmost care and kindness.

    8. Let go of the past. All relationships have their difficulties. Remember only the lessons learnt and forget the details. Weather the stormy moments, and savour the memory of sunny days.

    Remember what brought the two of you together in the first place. What attracted you to each other? What do you admire about your partner’s personality?

    9. Have a fun date with your partner regularly and often. Spend one night a week with each other. At that particular time nothing is as important as your time together. Strengthen your relationship by putting each other first. Give the relationship the same commitment you made when you first started dating – simply put each other first!

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    In a dream relationship, you and your partner can be yourselves. You are honest and patient with each other. You accept one another, and you are kind and thoughtful. In such an open and caring relationship, your love is sure to grow, and working together you can keep your relationship happy and healthy.

    From this Valentine’s Day, start working to make your dream relationship even better.

    And then be sure to celebrate Valentine’s Day every day of the year!

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    Last Updated on May 28, 2020

    How to Overcome Boredom

    How to Overcome Boredom

    Have you ever been bored? Restless? Fidgety? In need of some inspiration?

    I have a theory on boredom. I believe that the rate of boredom has increased alongside the pace of technology.

    If you think about it, technology has provided us with mobile phones, laptops, Ipads, device after device – all to ultimately fix one problem: boredom.

    What is Boredom?

    We have become a global nation that feeds on entertainment. We associate ‘living’ with ‘doing’. People now do not know how to sit still, and we feel guilty when we are not doing anything. Today, inactivity has become the ultimate sin.

    You might not realize it, but boredom stimulates a form of anxiety and stress. It evokes an emotional state that creates frustration and feeds procrastination.

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    It’s a desire to be ‘doing something’ or to be ‘entertained’ – it’s a desire for sensory stimulation. What it boils down to is a lack of focus.

    If you think about those times when you’re bored, it’s usually because you did not know what to do. So, indecision also plays a big part.

    When we are focused on what’s important to us and what we want to achieve, it’s pretty hard to be bored. So, one answer to boredom is to become focused on what you want.

    Sometimes It’s Good to Be Bored

    If boredom is a desire for sensory stimulation – then what’s the opposite of that? To be content with no stimulation – in other words – to enjoy stillness.

    Sometimes, it’s not boredom itself that causes the frustration but the resistance to doing nothing.

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    Think about it. What would happen if you were to ‘let go’ of the desire to be entertained? You wouldn’t be bored anymore, and you will feel more relaxed!

    In my experience, it’s often the most obvious, simplistic solutions that are the most powerful in life. So, when you’re bored, the easiest way to combat this is to enjoy it.

    It may sound weird but think of ‘boredom’ as a form of ‘relaxation’. It’s a break from the constant stimulation that 21st-century living provides – constant TVs, mobile phones, radios, internet, emails, phone calls, etc.

    Who knows, maybe ‘boredom’ is actually good for us?

    Next time you’re ‘feeling bored’ instead of feeding the frustration by frantically looking for something to do, maybe you can sit back, relax, and savor the feeling of having nothing to do.

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    In this article, I’ll share with you my 3-step strategy on how to overcome boredom.

    3-Step Strategy to Overcome Boredom

    1. Get Focused

    Instead of chasing sensory stimulation at random, focus on what’s really important to you. Focusing on something important helps prevent boredom because it forces you to utilize your time productively.

    You should ask yourself: what would make good use of your time? What could you be doing that would contribute to your major goals in life?

    Here are a few ideas:

    • Spend some time in quiet contemplation considering what’s important to you.
    • Start that creative project you’ve been talking about for the last few weeks.
    • Brainstorm: think of some ideas for new innovative products or businesses.

    2. Kill Procrastination

    Boredom is useful in some ways because it gives you the energy and time to do things. It is only a problem if you let it. But if you use it to motivate yourself to be productive, then you can more easily overcome boredom.

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    So, the next time you’re bored, why not put this good energy to use by ticking off those things that you have been meaning to get done but have been too busy to finish? This also presents a great time for you to clear your to-do list.

    Here are some ideas:

    • Do some exercise.
    • Read a book.
    • Learn something new.
    • Call a friend.
    • Get creative (draw, paint, sculpt, create music, write).
    • Do a spring cleaning.
    • Wash the car.
    • Renovate the house.
    • Re-arrange the furniture.
    • Write your shopping list.
    • Water the plants.
    • Walk the dog.
    • Sort out your mail & email.
    • De-clutter (clear out that wardrobe).

    3. Enjoy Boredom

    If none of the above solutions work, then you can try a different approach. Don’t give in to boredom and instead choose to enjoy it. This doesn’t mean allowing yourself to waste your time being bored. Instead, think of it as your time to relax and re-energize, which will help you be more productive the next time you work.

    Contrary to popular belief, we don’t need to be constantly doing things to be productive. In fact, research has shown that people are more productive when they take periods of rest to recharge.[1] Taking breaks once in a while helps boost your performance and can help make you feel more motivated.

    So, take some time to relax. You never know, you might even like it.

    Final Thoughts

    Learning how to overcome boredom may be difficult at the beginning, but it can be easier if you make use of some techniques. You can start with my 3-step strategy on how to overcome boredom and work your way from there. So, ready your mind and make use of these tips, and you will be overcoming boredom in no time.

    More Tips on Overcoming Boredom

    Featured photo credit: Johnny Cohen via unsplash.com

    Reference

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