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Can You Become Too Focused On Something – and Jeopardize Other Areas of Your Life?

Can You Become Too Focused On Something – and Jeopardize Other Areas of Your Life?

Let me introduce Robert. He is passionate about building his online business, because he thinks that’s his ticket out of his day job.

He is putting a lot of hours in on a daily basis and he is making a very nice progress every day.

Good for Robert, right? Or is it really?

You see, he has been focusing too intensively on just one area of his life. Sure, he’s even making some money off his online venture, but at the same time, he feels tired and stressed. It’s not because of his workload – he absolutely loves what he does.

The problem is that his life is out of balance. He has a family, but he’s ignored them lately in his dedication to his online business. In addition, he has some health issues, since he never has time to exercise or fix his diet. He starts to question his success in his business. Is it worth it, since it’s putting the other parts of his life off-balance?

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Things don’t look so good for him and unless he starts making changes soon, he’ll lose the most valuable things in his life: his family and his health. The good news for Robert and anyone else who is struggling with the same issues is he doesn’t have to give up on his business. There are things that he can do to change the situation.

Taking things for granted

It’s actually quite easy to see why Robert’s life is falling apart. He’s focusing too much on one area of his life while ignoring the other parts. No-one’s life should be centered on only one area; it needs to be spread across many. In order to live a healthy, abundant life, you have to get a bird’s eye perspective of things and see your whole life, not just one part of it.

Also, when you are focusing too much on something, you’ll start taking things for granted, like:

  • Yes, my wife/kids/friends will understand why I work so hard
  • Yes, I can fix my health issues later
  • Yes, I’ll rest later, I’m doing just fine

Unfortunately, this is the perfect recipe for disaster, and if you take things for granted for too long, you’ll do a disservice to yourself and those around you.

Do you respect yourself?

It’s fear that is pushing Robert so hard. He’s afraid that he’ll never be able to resign from his day job and start living his online dream. That’s why he works so hard every day. Then there is the slacker issue. If he doesn’t work hard, he labels himself as a procrastinator, who is not committed enough to his business.

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Unfortunately, he is not able to see that the amount of work he does is already outside the healthy boundaries and it’s already turning against him. Further, he fails to see that he is not alone. The reality is that there are many “Roberts” out there who are facing the same situation as he is – building their businesses part-time and looking for a way out their day jobs.

It can be done; they just need to do it smartly…

Getting back in balance

1. Know the signs. Learn to listen carefully what your family or friends have to say about you and your habits. If you are unsure of what is going on, just ask!

You could also have a regular discussion with your spouse or with the whole family about the situation and how things could be improved. The sooner you improve things, the fewer conflicts there are going to be in the future.

2. Understand your goal and the risks. Make sure you understand what is at stake: Are you really willing to risk the well-being of your family or your health for reaching a goal? Once you see the whole picture, you’ll most likely decide to take proactive action and seek for the balance.

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3. Change the perspective. See things from family’s perspective. For instance, do you really know how your spouse feels, when you are working all the time – while she has to take care of your children (especially if they are small)? Instead, switch roles where you take care of the children while your spouse is out of the home or doing his/her thing. When you understand how the other person feels and it’s easier to make decisions to balance your life.

4. Make your schedules public. Make sure that you define your schedules (working, hobbies …) and then share this information with your family. This could be done for example by using a family calendar and putting it on the fridge door. This way everyone is on the same page about when you are available to them.

5. Allocate time for other stuff too. Our lives shouldn’t be just work – it should contain other things as well. Make sure you dedicate time for yourself, your family, and your friends. This way you can create a balanced life and you will feel much better.

6. Join forces. Form a private Facebook group where you can interact with other likeminded people, for e.g. entrepreneurs. You can share information, ask tips for better productivity or how others have dealt with off-balance situations in their lives.

In conclusion

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When you focus too much on a single area of your life, the consequences can be disastrous. That’s why it’s always important to make sure things aren’t out of balance. When your life is balanced, you are happy and more productive.

Have you ever been too focused on something?

Featured photo credit:  Young man looking at a mirror and aiming via Shutterstock

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Timo Kiander

Productivity Author and Founder of Productive Superdad

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Last Updated on August 13, 2020

12 Benefits of Meditation That Improve Your Body And Mind

12 Benefits of Meditation That Improve Your Body And Mind

As a mediation teacher, I am constantly confronted with these two questions regarding the benefits of meditation:

1. Why can’t I enjoy the benefits of meditation continuously?

I ask back: Is it maybe because you see mediation as a technique, performance, or some exclusive activity? The answer is: yes!

Or, because your mind is constantly evolving on the past negative attachments and traditional habits? After careful thinking they answer: yes, probably!

Although meditation is very simple and challenging at the same time, in the above mentioned case, it’s not easy to benefit from meditation, especially when approached with the idea that it has to be learned, studied, or applied. Meditation is to be seen as a natural, mental cleansing process that happens on a basis of awareness on a moment-to-moment experience. When that takes place, the benefits of meditation are continuous.

2. What is the purpose of meditation?

The purpose of meditation is to accomplish a level of consciousness for mastering the mind and uniting with the finest, deepest, and subtlest part of yourself as a being.

It is a conscious process of observation of the mind—helping the meditator to understand the structure of its mind and the quality of its content. During this process, countless benefits of a physical, mental, and spiritual/philosophical nature arise for the meditator.

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Meditation as a Fixer and Benefactor

In this article we’ll have a look at the primary and the ultimate benefits of mediation, which improve your body and mind at the same time. For the sake of clarity, readability, and tangible experience, I have separated the benefits into three groups.

You can change just about anything you don’t like about yourself (psychologically, as well as physically) through meditation. However, this is only possible with a specific approach, when your brain allows the benefits of meditation to do their work.

This means not to interrupt the benefit with other thoughts, but to let their effect implement itself in your body and mind. This approach is crucial.

The following exercises will make you feel the benefits of meditation instantly, but the continuity of the benefits of meditation on your body and mind depend on the discipline of your brain, how you manage external stimuli and your thoughts.

Less Physical, More Psychological

Even though the practice of meditation is more psychological and less physical, the first benefit we’re going to experience is both physical as well as mental.

This benefit happens literally immediately, right at the moment of meditation. It is the essence of mediation basically.

The First Benefit of Meditation

The first benefit of meditation is twofold:

  1. Improving inward attention (sharpening the mind)
  2. Relaxation of the body

Let’s do it right now. This benefit consists of only one step, and it is very simple to perform. It goes like this:

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Sit still and pay attention to your exhalation.

That’s it! Technically, the whole journey into the world of mediation begins here and nowhere else. And right here, you benefit from this step in the following way:

When you pay attention to the flow of your exhalation (gentle, deep, effortless exhalation), your body begins with the process of relaxation instantly (your heart rate slows down, your nervous system calms, and tension in your muscles is relieved).

When the nervous system calms, your mind calms down, and, more specifically, less thoughts are produced by your mind. How, exactly? By applying one of the most valuable mental skills—attention—the mind follows the breathing and has no space and time to generate any other thoughts. Only when the attention goes off the breath, other thoughts are constructed, and the mind is accelerating with thought production again.

Keeping the First Benefit Effective and Ongoing

Here you apply the approach of not letting the relaxation and attention process get interrupted; rather let the effects of these benefits implant in your body and mind as deeply as possible.

This is to say, the instant relaxation and inward attention happen at the same time when you follow the flow of your breath. Repeating this process—creating a constant rhythm out of the breathing and the attention—you create a process of meditation.

Keep your attention on the flow of your breath and see how the calmness of body and mind begin to rule your present moment. The longer you stay connected to your breathing, the stronger you’ll feel the benefit. Start with 3-5 minutes at a time without doing anything else, and increase to 10-20 minutes and onwards.

Can you think of a better, simpler and quicker exercise that can relax the body and improve attention in this way, at this speed?

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This benefit takes you to the second one.

The Second Benefit of Meditation

While still working with the first benefit of mediation, you slowly start to see the second benefit of mediation, which is fourfold. I call it the major value of mediation:

  1. Energy (physical and mental strength)
  2. Observance
  3. Peacefulness (stillness, and space of mind for deeper observation)
  4. Patience

Peacefulness is the source of a blissful life. The energy is the fuel to express that blissfulness. Whatever we want to accomplish in life we need: 1) Physical and mental strength, 2) Observance of that energy, 3) Peacefulness—the calmness and stillness that creates space for freedom of being and creative thinking, and 4) Patience for the process of accomplishment.

You can only get creative in thinking and boosted with physical and mental energy when you get in touch with the deepest levels of yourself—when you harmonize your mental and physiological activities. How do you do that? Let’s try it right now:

This step involves the observation of the two separate movements of your breath. After paying attention on your exhalation, you have prepared your body and mind to really see and feel what true peacefulness and true energy means.

1. Energy

Keep your attention on your inhalation (inhaling gently, deeply and lightly) and feel the new energy (new oxygen) flowing in your body. The inhalation is the symbol for aliveness and vitality. It is the the primary act that connects the baby’s body with the outside world after coming out of the womb[1]. Each inhalation is a new opportunity for your body to revive, regenerate, and renew itself.

2. Observance

The observance comes during the process of meditation, enabling you to see the physiological benefits of introducing new energy to your body. Use that benefit by utilizing its effects, and create deeper observation into yourself. With every single inhalation, this observation will enable you to generate even more energy, mentally and physically.

3. Peacefulness

Keep your attention on your exhalation, and feel how, out of the relaxation, peacefulness is spreading throughout your whole body. The exhalation is the symbol for relaxation and peacefulness. Only through meditation can you realize what absolute peacefulness means.

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4. Patience

The meditation delivers the previous benefits to you immediately and opens up the possibility for many other benefits and great virtues. A specific one to mention, which is essential for reaching the ultimate benefits of meditation, is patience. If you have experienced the aforementioned benefits, it means that you have invested a certain amount of patience into mastering yourself and your mind.

The Ultimate Benefits of Meditation

Patience is a key quality when it comes to the ultimate benefits of meditation.

Since the mind is the tool that reveals everything, mediation is the method for the proper utility of the tool.

The above mentioned benefits of mediation lead to the ultimate benefits of mediation—qualities that depict what makes a human being human. As you dwell in a meditative state of being, the following benefits begin to emanate:

  • Diligence: the persistence for righteous effort to reach an intrinsic value; inner strength.
  • Temperance: to express self-control and show excellence in managing the physio-biological and mental necessities
  • Courage: using righteous effort and braveness to look into the weaknesses of yourself and at the hardship of your life, endure it and patiently overcome the obstacles
  • Loving kindness and Compassion – a capacity to care, understand, and tolerate other people’s state of being, wishing them freedom from suffering.
  • Wisdom: the moment when you feel that mediation gives you the feeling and the knowledge that what you do relating to life and practical affairs is just.
  • Equanimity: that puts you in a state of composure, and you experience an ongoing blissful state of being.

These are the 6 ultimate benefits of meditation that put your body and mind in a state of health and balance.

Final Thoughts

Mediation exists to put order in your mind and awaken the best of you, to reconnect you to your goodness and your inborn intelligent capabilities.

Meditation is the window to your true Self. It gives you a panoramic view of your heart’s greatness. It shows you the true meaning of love, freeing you from the dungeons of ignorance and despair. The power of meditation dismantles the evil that’s trying to cloud the beauty of your heart.

Your heart, body, and soul are the bridge over which the challenges of life frequently carry their heavy load. Meditation is the support of that bridge. Make use of that support.

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Featured photo credit: Mor Shani via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Medline Plus: Changes in the newborn at birth

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