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Warning: Believing These 10 Famous Myths Might Be Making You Dumb

Warning: Believing These 10 Famous Myths Might Be Making You Dumb

You want to improve your life.

You wouldn’t be reading Lifehack if you didn’t.

But you might be shooting yourself in the foot if you believe any of these growth-stunting famous myths.

1. Life should be how you want it to be.

You have this idea in your head, a script, of how your life is supposed to be. But it’s not happening that way.

And you hate that.

That’s because you’ve bought into the myth that life should be how you want it to be rather than accepting life as it is.

There’s nothing wrong with goals and forward motion in your life.

But your life is happening now. Engage it, learn from it, experience it.

Not experiencing your life because it’s not how you want it is making you dumb.

2. Life is linear rather than a spiral.

This myth, which is rampant in our American society, says that we should always be progressing forward in an upward, straight line.

However, this doesn’t leave much room for the normal bad habits and problems that we struggle with from time to time.

You see, life is much more like a spiral than a straight line. We move forward but eventually return to the same spot where those struggles keep popping up.

Instead of getting down on yourself about them, remember that you have been moving forward, it’s just that it’s the time on your path when you need to work on those issues again.

You’re moving up and around at the same time.

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3. We should be happy all the time.

At least, that’s what the Self-Improvement sections of bookstores would have you believe.

The reality is that happiness is a fleeting emotion just as all emotions are. The emotions that tend to be more constant are feelings of contentment and ease.

Happiness is great, but it’s not something we are going to experience all the time.

I wish you much happiness, but I also wish you wouldn’t put yourself under the pressure of thinking that something is wrong with you if you’re not happy. You’re just human.

4. Resisting something is the best way to overcome a crisis.

Not so much.

Although the natural response to a crisis or even a fairly routine problem is to resist it, that behavior only drains your energy and reduces your ability to problem-solve effectively.

The best approach is to accept, rather than resist, what is happening.

This doesn’t mean that you are giving up. It just means that you are being realistic about what is in front of you.

It means that you are working within the crisis rather than against it. This is like walking downstream to cross a river rather than walking upstream against the current.

Resisting is a very natural, human response, but it’s dumb.

Learning to accept the bad with the good in our lives is smart.

5. Being hard on yourself is the only way to get motivated.

For some reason, many of us will listen to that Inner Critic, that nasty voice in our heads, because we think it’s the only way that we’re going to get anything accomplished.

After all, if we weren’t hard on ourselves, how would we get anything done?

Perhaps we could try being nice. Not just to others, but to ourselves as well.

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There are tons of motivational tips out there that focus on rewarding yourself rather than whipping yourself to accomplish goals.

Challenge the myth that your Inner Critic is right and try something new. And kinder.

You’ll be surprised at what a little kindness can do for you.

6. Self-compassion is for wimps.

Pull yourself up by your bootstraps!

Man up!

None of this namby-pamby self-compassion stuff! Don’t be a wimp!

Actually, research has shown that self-compassion isn’t wimpy.

Being kind and empathic to yourself results in a healthier, more productive life than being self-critical. And research also shows that self-compassion increases a stable sense of security and self-worth.

So next time you are being harsh with yourself, ask yourself if you would treat a friend that way.

It’s okay to treat yourself as you would your best friend.

7. You can get back to your old self after a crisis happens.

“I just want life to get back to the way it was.”

I hear this a lot when people are in the middle of grief or another kind of crisis.

But the truth is, you won’t be the same person you were before the crisis happened.

And that’s okay.

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You may find that you are more sensitive to others who are in crisis and more thoughtful about your own habits and behaviors.

While you won’t be exactly the same as you were before life’s storm blew your way, you might actually find that you’re a little better.

8. Your thoughts are always true.

Our minds are constantly going.

Constantly.

It’s easy to listen to all of that chatter and, because it emanates from you and your mind, believe it.

However, your thoughts aren’t always true.

Your inner chatterbox may tell you that you’re a worthless piece of crap.

Just because you thought it doesn’t make it true. You’re not a worthless piece of crap.

Maybe you’re struggling right now, but we all struggle at times. It’s part of the human condition.

Don’t let your own irrational and unrealistic thoughts make you dumb. Cull out the productive, kind thoughts from those that are destructive and cruel.

You don’t have to believe everything you think.

9. My life will be better when ______ happens.

What are you waiting for?

What happens if fill-in-the-blank never happens?

“When I retire my life would be better.”

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Okay. Well, my friend Cathy retired and then she died several months later.

“My life would be better if I had more money.”

Maybe. But how much is enough? Will you let your life go by while you are vainly struggling and waiting for the mystical “more” to happen?

You get the idea.

Life is in front of you right now.

Don’t wait to live it.

10. If I work hard enough, things won’t change in my life.

Change is inevitable.

You know this but do you know it?

Have you taken it into your core and made change a regular part of your life, a routine?

You don’t have to like change, but you need to not resist it.

The myth that you can outrun change is making you dumb. Be smart and allow change to work its magic where it can.

 

Need to bounce back in life? Download my FREE ebookBounce Back! 5 keys to survive and thrive through life’s ups and downs.

Featured photo credit: the girl in the wood looks up via Shutterstock

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Last Updated on February 15, 2019

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

In Personal Development-speak, we are always talking about goals, outcomes, success, desires and dreams. In other words, all the stuff we want to do, achieve and create in our world.

And while it’s important for us to know what we want to achieve (our goal), it’s also important for us to understand why we want to achieve it; the reason behind the goal or some would say, our real goal.

Why is goal setting important?

1. Your needs and desire will be fulfilled.

Sometimes when we explore our “why”, (why we want to achieve a certain thing) we realize that our “what” (our goal) might not actually deliver us the thing (feeling, emotion, internal state) we’re really seeking.

For example, the person who has a goal to lose weight in the belief that weight loss will bring them happiness, security, fulfillment, attention, popularity and the partner of their dreams. In this instance, their “what” is weight-loss and their “why” is happiness (etc.) and a partner.

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Six months later, they have lost the weight (achieved their goal) but as is often the case, they’re not happier, not more secure, not more confident, not more fulfilled and in keeping with their miserable state, they have failed to attract their dream partner.

After all, who wants to be with someone who’s miserable? They achieved their practical goal but still failed to have their needs met.

So they set a goal to lose another ten pounds. And then another. And maybe just ten more. With the destructive and erroneous belief that if they can get thin enough, they’ll find their own personal nirvana. And we all know how that story ends.

2. You’ll find out what truly motivates you

The important thing in the process of constructing our best life is not necessarily what goals we set (what we think we want) but what motivates us towards those goals (what we really want).

The sooner we begin to explore, identify and understand what motivates us towards certain achievements, acquisitions or outcomes (that is, we begin moving towards greater consciousness and self awareness), the sooner we will make better decisions for our life, set more intelligent (and dare I say, enlightened) goals and experience more fulfilment and less frustration.

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We all know people who have achieved what they set out to, only to end up in the same place or worse (emotionally, psychologically, sociologically) because what they were chasing wasn’t really what they were needing.

What we think we want will rarely provide us with what we actually need.

3. Your state of mind will be a lot healthier

We all set specific goals to achieve/acquire certain things (a job, a car, a partner, a better body, a bank balance, a title, a victory) because at some level, most of us believe (consciously or not) that the achievement of those goals will bring us what we really seek; joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

Of course, setting practical, material and financial goals is an intelligent thing to do considering the world we live in and how that world works.

But setting goals with an expectation that the achievement of certain things in our external, physical world will automatically create an internal state of peace, contentment, joy and total happiness is an unhealthy and unrealistic mindset to inhabit.

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What you truly want and need

Sometimes we need to look beyond the obvious (superficial) goals to discover and secure what we really want.

Sadly, we live in a collective mindset which teaches that the prettiest and the wealthiest are the most successful.

Some self-help frauds even teach this message. If you’re rich or pretty, you’re happy. If you’re both, you’re very happy. Pretty isn’t what we really want; it’s what we believe pretty will bring us. Same goes with money.

When we cut through the hype, the jargon and the self-help mumbo jumbo, we all have the same basic goals, desires and needs:

Joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

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Nobody needs a mansion or a sport’s car but we all need love.

Nobody needs massive pecs, six percent body-fat, a face lift or bigger breasts but we all need connection, acceptance and understanding.

Nobody needs to be famous but we all need peace, calm, balance and happiness.

The problem is, we live in a culture which teaches that one equals the other. If only we lived in a culture which taught that real success is far more about what’s happening in our internal environment, than our external one.

It’s a commonly-held belief that we’re all very different and we all have different goals — whether short term or long term goals. But in many ways we’re not, and we don’t; we all want essentially the same things.

Now all you have to do is see past the fraud and deception and find the right path.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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