Advertising
Advertising

Be Lovable Without Turning Into Charlie Brown

Be Lovable Without Turning Into Charlie Brown
    Charlie Brown from Wikipedia

    “I’ve developed a new philosophy…I only dread one day at a time.”

    – Charlie Brown

    As a psychotherapist, the image of Charlie Brown often comes to mind in dealing with my clients. So many people live like “good ol’ Chuck” with persistent rumination about things out of their reach and control, just like he obsesses over the red headed girl. As lovable and cute as he is, Charlie Brown is stuck in a spiral of negativity — no wonder why he is stuck and never changes! He never can seem to get himself out of the world of low self esteem, along with his continual musings on if onlys and what ifs.

    Perhaps the most poignant thing about Charlie Brown is that no matter how many times Lucy pulls the football from him as he is about to kick, he keeps on expecting her to change her ways — and he gets the ball pulled out from him. He doesn’t seem to learn that it is time to shift his strategy and learn from his errors in judgement rather than repeat the same mistakes over and over. Time and time again.

    Advertising

    We can relate

    I do believe that Charlie Brown has been one of America’s most lovable cartoon characters precisely because at some point in our lives, we all can relate to him. Who hasn’t kept on trusting, even though our friends, family, and even our spouses have proved untrustworthy or disappointed us? Who hasn’t found themselves focusing on the negative rather than the positive, regarding the negative view as where the “real truth” lies? Despite the fact that we can relate to him and enjoy the humorous take on depressive thinking – since we commonly do get pleasure out of poking fun at our foibles — ruminative and negative thinking is really no laughing matter.  It leads to depression, excessive anxiety, and interferes with true growth and healing.

    Some tips to overcome ‘Charliebrownitis’

    If you find yourself identifying too much like Charlie Brown, here are some tips:

    Advertising

    • If you have low self esteem like Charlie Brown, watch out for the tendency towards depression. Depressed zaps our sense of  power and sense of  personal worthiness.
    • Due to low self esteem, people often find themselves in unhappy interpersonal relationships, and settle for less than they deserve. Relationships end up being more clingy and needy than mature and healthy. 
    • If the red headed girl in our life is not interested, time to move on. Instead of spending too much time wishing for dreams that don’t come true, how about creating new goals and dreams that have a  chance? 
    • If someone treats us disrespectfully over and over again, stop falling for it.   
    • Realistic hope is good, but unrealistic hope is just “wishful thinking” that leads us to be “stuck.”
    • We might be lovable like Charlie Brown, but he doesn’t see how lovable he is and maybe you don’t either!  Time to look inside yourself and identify the things that you like about yourself! How about making a list? 
    • Charlie Brown looks at what’s missing in his life – the “hole” and not the “whole.”  Do you spend more time looking for happiness in all the wrong places outside of yourself rather than finding peace within you?
    • Charlie Brown’s negative thinking is reflected in his blue moods.  He does not realize he has the choice of a more positive attitude!  
    • If you keep on trying to kick the football and someone takes it away from you, shift gears and  try a new game with new players in your life!  Maybe that person is not really on your team even if they say they are.  Parting can be painful, but if your friend does not want the best for you, ask yourself if this really a friend?

    Conclusion

    As you consider Charlie Brown and the rest of the Peanuts gang characters — what character are you most like? How about those that are close to you? There’s the  dependent Linus, the narcissistic Lucy, the depressive Charlie Brown, disorganized and sloppy Pigpen, the precocious Schroeder, the know-it-all, insensitive Patti, the loyal Woodstock,  the imaginative Snoopy, or the optimistic and sweet Sally?

    How about getting an opinion of people who know you best?  If you don’t like the answer, you can work on changing it now Learn from Charlie Brown that you are lovable no matter what, but life will be more fun if you choose to stay positive.

    Advertising

     

    More by this author

    Judy Belmont

    Mental health author, motivational speaker and psychotherapist

    11 WARNING Signs Of Unhealthy Relationships You Need to Be Aware Of The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People Robin Williams’ Death Is A Wake-Up Call: 12 Natural Ways To Fight Depression Quick Test: What Is Your Forgiveness IQ? 7 Essential Ways That Inspirational Quotes Can Literally Change Your Day … and Your Life!

    Trending in Lifestyle

    1 The Ultimate Guide to Help You Sleep Through the Night Tonight 2 Why Am I Exhausted? The Real Causes and How to Fix It Forever 3 60 Small Ways to Improve Your Life in the Next 100 Days 4 42 Practical Ways To Improve Yourself 5 How To Be Successful In Life? 13 Tips From The Most Successful People

    Read Next

    Advertising
    Advertising

    Last Updated on October 16, 2018

    The Ultimate Guide to Help You Sleep Through the Night Tonight

    The Ultimate Guide to Help You Sleep Through the Night Tonight

    It’s well past midnight and you’ve got to get up in less than six hours. You toss and turn all night. Before you know it, another hour passes by and you start panicking.

    If I don’t get to sleep in the next 30 minutes, I’m going to be exhausted tomorrow!”

    One thing is for sure, you’re not alone. Over 70M+ Americans have stated that they don’t get the proper sleep they need at night.[1] So what could possibly be causing this insomnia epidemic?

    Throughout my entrepreneurial journey of building my language learning company, I have experimented and researched dozens of best sleep practices. Some have flopped but a few have dramatically improved the quality of my life and work.

    In this article, I’ll look into the reason why you’re sleep deprived and how to sleep through the night tonight.

    Why you can’t sleep through the night

    The first step to improving anything is getting to the bottom of the root problem. Different studies have shown the reasons why most people cannot sleep well at night.[2] Here are the main ones that the average person faces:

    Advertising

    Stress

    If you’ve ever stayed up at night worrying about something, know that it’s a major sleep inhibitor. When you’re feeling stress, your mind and body becomes more activated, making it incredibly difficult to fall asleep. Even when you do manage to sleep, it won’t be deep enough to help you feel rested the next day.

    Exposure to blue light before sleep time

    We’re exposed to harmful blue light on a daily basis through the use of our digital screens. If you’ve never heard of blue light, it’s part of the visible light spectrum that suppresses melatonin, our sleep hormones. Other harmful effects include digital eye strains and macular cellular damage.

    While daytime exposure to blue light is not very harmful, night time exposure tricks our brain into thinking it’s daytime. By keeping your brain alert and suppressing melatonin, your mind is unable to shut down and relax before bedtime.

    Eating close to bedtime

    Eating too late can actually be an issue for many people, especially those who are older than 40. The reason is, eating before laying down increases the chances of Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), in which stomach acid backflows into the esophagus.

    Another reason not to eat too late is sleep quality. Even if you manage to sleep right after eating, it’s likely that you’ll wake up tired. Instead of letting your body rest during sleep, it has to digest the food that was entered before bedtime.

    Rule of thumb: eat 3-4 hours before bedtime.

    Advertising

    Medical conditions

    In some cases, it could be medical conditions that cause your sleep problems. If you can’t relate yourself to the above reasons or any of these common sleep problem causes, you should visit the doctor.

    The vicious sleep cycle

    The biggest danger to repeating the bad habits mentioned above is the negative cycle that it can take you through. A bad night’s sleep can affect not only your energy but your willpower and decision making skills.

    Here’s an example of a bad sleep pattern:

    You get a bad night’s sleep
    –> You feel tired and stressful throughout the day.
    –> You compensate it with unhealthy habits (for example junk food, skipping exercises, watching Netflix etc.)
    –> You can’t sleep well (again) the next night.

      You can imagine what could happen if this cycle repeats over a longer period of time.

      Advertising

      How to sleep better (throughout the night)

      To help you break the vicious cycle and stop waking up in the middle of the night, I’ll explain to you a list of actionable steps to solve your trouble staying asleep.

      1. Take control over the last 90 minutes of your night

      What you do (or don’t do) before bedtime have significant impact on the quality of your sleep. Many times, it can be the difference between staying up until 4am and sleeping like a baby.

      Here are a few suggestions:

      • Go from light to dark – Darkness stimulates production of the sleep hormone melatonin. Turn off unused light around the house, and think about investing into warm light that you can use in the bedroom before bedtime.
      • Avoid screens (or wear blue light blocking glasses) – Keep the bedroom a technology-free zone as the light from electronic devices can disturb your sleep. If you need to work, wear blue light blocking glasses (also known as computer glasses) throughout or before you sleep to prevent sleep disruption.
      • Find an activity that helps you to wind down  This could be anything that calms you down, and reduces thinking (especially unnecessary stress). Fir example, listening to soothing/good feel music, taking a hot bath, reading or meditating.
      • Keep any electronics you have on the other side of the room or outside the room – One of the most harmful things that can disrupt your sleep is the notifications you get from your smartphones. The simplest way to avoid this is to keep it away from you.
      • Create a bedtime routine – A night routine is a couple of things you do prior to going to bed. By doing these things every night, you’ll have a more restful and high-quality sleep. Learn how to pick up a night routine here: The Ultimate Night Routine Guide to Sleep Better and Wake Up Productive

      2. Eat the right nutrients (and avoid the wrong ones)

      What you eat (not just when we eat) plays a critical role in your sleep quality. If you’re ever in doubt of what to eat to improve your sleep, take the following into consideration:

      • Kiwi – This green fruit may be the ultimate pre-bed snack. When volunteers ate two kiwis an hour before hitting the hay, they slept almost a full extra hour. Kiwis are full of vitamins C and E, serotonin and folate—all of which may help you snooze.
      • Soy foods – Foods made with soy such as tofu, miso and edamame, are rich in isoflavones. These compounds increase the production of serotonin, a brain chemical that influences the body’s sleep-wake cycle.
      • Fiber-rich foods – Eating more fiber could be key for better sleep. Eating fiber was associated with more restorative slow-wave sleep—the more you eat, the better you sleep—per a study published in the Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine. Fiber prevents blood sugar surges that may lower melatonin. Get a fiber boost from beans, artichokes, bran cereal and quinoa.
      • Salmon – Most fish, especially salmon, halibut and tuna boost vitamin B6, which is needed to make melatonin— a sleep-inducing hormone triggered by darkness.

      3. Adjust your sleep temperature

      Once you’ve gone through the first 2 recommendations, the last step to experiment with is temperature. According to Sleep.org, the ideal temperature for sleep is 60-67 Farenheit. This may be cooler than what most people are used to, but keep in mind that our body temperature changes once we fall asleep.

      Rule of thumb: sleeping in cooler temperature is better for sleep quality than warmer temperature.

      Advertising

      Find out how to maintain the optimal temperature to sleep better here: How to Sleep Faster with the Best Temperature

      Sleep better form now on

      Congrats on making it to the end of this guide on sleep. If you’re serious about taking the necessary steps in improving your sleep, remember to take it one step at a time.

      I recommend trying just one of the steps mentioned such as taking a hot bath, blocking out blue light at night, or sleeping in cooler temperature. From there, see how it impacts your sleep quality and you can keep doing what works, and throw away what doesn’t.

      As long as you follow these steps cautiously and diligently, I know you’ll see improved results in your sleep!

      Featured photo credit: pixabay via pixabay.com

      Reference

      Read Next