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Alone for the Holidays? Here are Ten Ways to Lift Your Spirits

Alone for the Holidays? Here are Ten Ways to Lift Your Spirits

Holidays can be a very lonely time, particularly for those who spend the holidays solo. Below are ten tips to keep yourself balanced, sane and productive over the holidays, with options for both extroverts and introverts alike.

1) Plan your time in advance

You’ll have several days to fill up, so be proactive. Find books and movies you have always wanted to read and watch, and make a list of events that you’d like to attend. Without a plan you might find yourself being alone and bored, which will lower your spirits.

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2) Use your time wisely

Make a list of things you have always wanted to do but never had the time for. See this time alone as a gift: a stretch of time where you have total control to do whatever you want. Use it wisely.

3) Find support

Extroverts can reach out to others to touch base during the holidays. Note that scheduling time to talk with friends and loved ones makes contact more likely to happen. Introverts get support internally, so journaling and taking some time for personal reflection is a good idea.

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4) Don’t wallow

Holidays alone tend to be times when beating yourself up and getting depressed are more likely to happen. Do something fun, instead! Avoid solo holiday depression by re-framing your time by yourself as an opportunity to grow. Be grateful—some people who are enduring family dinners wish they were in your place.

5) Get social

Reach out to your social network and find out who is orphaned like you are and bring them together. Meet for dinner, a movie, go for drinks, or throw a party. Extend an invitation to those with whom you have a lot in common. Introverts may want to arrange one-on-one meetings with close friends, or have Skype chats with friends from afar.

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6) Accept Invitations

If friends invite you out to parties or to spend Christmas with their family, accept their invitations. If you feel you are being invited out of pity, get over it: self-pity is vastly overrated, and they wouldn’t invite you if they didn’t want you there.

7) Volunteer

Food banks, shelters and crisis centers are short-staffed during holidays when the demand is greatest. Helping out those in need will make you feel good, and will brighten other people’s holidays in turn.

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8) Indulge yourself

Holidays are a time when people indulge themselves, so splurge on a few things you wouldn’t ordinarily buy yourself. Comfort food is always welcome!

9) Random Act of Kindness

Do something kind. It might be feeding birds or squirrels in the park or buying a sandwich for a homeless person. It will make you feel lighter and more grateful for what you have.

10) Have Faith

If you are religious, find a church service to attend, or seek out something you regard as spiritual such as meditation, yoga, exercise, a walk in the park, or being around animals. Use this as an opportunity to replenish your spiritual juice.

Featured photo credit:  Young woman in Santa’s hats via Shutterstock

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Last Updated on January 3, 2020

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand?  If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places!  Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.

1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives.  Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

 I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life … 

To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones … 

And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

 2.  Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

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4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

The most positive people are the most grateful people.  They do not focus on the potholes of their lives.  They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences.  They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.

Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do.  They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities.  They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time.  They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!

Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

7. Positive people smile a lot!

When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

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8. People who are positive are great communicators.

They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life.  They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse.  They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time.  Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.  

10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

How about you?  How many habits of positive people do you personally find in yourself?  If you lack even a few of these 10 essential habits, you might find that the expected treasure at the end of the rainbow was not all that it was cracked up to be. How could it — if you keep on bringing a negative attitude around?

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I wish you well in keeping positive, because as we all know, there is certainly nothing positive about being negative!

Featured photo credit: Janaína Castelo Branco via flickr.com

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