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A Simple Valentine’s Day Guide for Singles

A Simple Valentine’s Day Guide for Singles

    Valentine’s Day is normally a fun and romantic occasion for you if you’re in a loving relationship, yet it can be an off-putting and frustrating day if you’re single. A day that celebrates couples often challenges singles. The good news is that you can not only endure Valentine’s Day, but actually enjoy it as a single person.

    The trick is first to put your thinking straight about what being single or in a relationship truly means, and second to adopt a constructive behavior. This simple Valentine’s guide for singles will show you exactly how.

    1. Know you’re not alone

    On Valentine’s Day, it’s common for a single to feel like they’re the only single person out there and everybody else is with their significant other. However, that’s just an illusion, largely created by all the emphasis put on couples on Valentine’s Day through a variety of communication channels: articles, billboards, commercials, gossip, etc.

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    The reality is that there are a lot of single people out there. Being single does not make you an exception. It actually makes you a member of a large segment of the population, which is steadily getting larger. This is something important to bear in mind.

    2. Don’t romanticize being in a relationship

    Another tendency to be on a lookout for is the tendency to feel like you’re worse off than others simply because you’re single.

    This is what happens when you assume that a relationship per se makes your life better. An idea that’s much closer to the truth is that whether a relationship makes your life better or not depends entirely on the person the relationship is with and on its dynamic. Believe me, there are plenty of people in relationships that make them feel miserable and take away more than they add to their life.

    It’s in your grasp to have a happy and fulfilling life as a single. All you need to do is recognize the wide range of options you have to make yourself happy and to employ them. This leads me to my next point.

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    3. Do something for yourself

    You may not have a significant other in your life, but you do have yourself. As a single person, Valentine’s Day is a good moment to remind yourself that you are important to you.

    How? By doing things you enjoy.

    The last thing you want to do is to stay at home and sulk for being single. Instead, reflect on the things you enjoy the most that don’t entail a relationship and how you can make some of them happen fast. Then, make them happen. Maybe you want to go to a spa, or get a massage, or buy yourself some nice clothes, or watch a movie. Anything that gives you pleasure goes.

    As a rule of thumb, the more you take care of your needs, the less you feel the necessity for somebody else in your life. You may still seek that person, but without feeling a desperate requirement for them.

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    4. Mingle with other singles

    Valentine’s Day is not an all couples day; or at least not anymore. Because there is a plethora of singles who don’t want to be ignored on this day, a growing wave of events and activities for singles on Valentine’s has emerged.

    More often than not, I’m single on Valentine’s Day. And I can tell you from experience that there is no shortage of single people out on this day, dancing, partying, socializing, drinking and having fun.

    There are even bars and clubs that have special singles’ nights or parties on Valentine’s Day, urr, Night. So, get in touch with some of your single friends, go out and enjoy yourselves. If you don’t have single friends, this is an excellent moment to make some. For instance, you can go to a singles’ event or something and meet other singles. On this day, they’ll be particularly excited to meet new people.

    Conclusion

    The way I see it, whether you’re single or in a couple, Valentine’s Day is a festive occasion and an excellent time to have fun.

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    At the end of they day, it’s not your relationship status that makes the real difference in your life or on this day. Rather, it’s your ability to capitalize on any type of situation and to live with passion.

    So, whether you’re single or in a relationship, have a happy Valentine’s Day!

    (Photo credit: Valentines Day background with hearts via Shutterstock)

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    Eduard Ezeanu

    Eduard is a confidence and communication coach with 7+ years of experience.

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    Last Updated on January 21, 2020

    The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

    The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

    Creating a vision for your life might seem like a frivolous, fantastical waste of time, but it’s not: creating a compelling vision of the life you want is actually one of the most effective strategies for achieving the life of your dreams. Perhaps the best way to look at the concept of a life vision is as a compass to help guide you to take the best actions and make the right choices that help propel you toward your best life.

    your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have

      Why You Need a Vision

      Experts and life success stories support the idea that with a vision in mind, you are more likely to succeed far beyond what you could otherwise achieve without a clear vision. Think of crafting your life vision as mapping a path to your personal and professional dreams. Life satisfaction and personal happiness are within reach. The harsh reality is that if you don’t develop your own vision, you’ll allow other people and circumstances to direct the course of your life.

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      How to Create Your Life Vision

      Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It will resonate with your values and ideals, and will generate energy and enthusiasm to help strengthen your commitment to explore the possibilities of your life.

      What Do You Want?

      The question sounds deceptively simple, but it’s often the most difficult to answer. Allowing yourself to explore your deepest desires can be very frightening. You may also not think you have the time to consider something as fanciful as what you want out of life, but it’s important to remind yourself that a life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance, but by design.

      It’s helpful to ask some thought-provoking questions to help you discover the possibilities of what you want out of life. Consider every aspect of your life, personal and professional, tangible and intangible. Contemplate all the important areas, family and friends, career and success, health and quality of life, spiritual connection and personal growth, and don’t forget about fun and enjoyment.

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      Some tips to guide you:

      • Remember to ask why you want certain things
      • Think about what you want, not on what you don’t want.
      • Give yourself permission to dream.
      • Be creative. Consider ideas that you never thought possible.
      • Focus on your wishes, not what others expect of you.

      Some questions to start your exploration:

      • What really matters to you in life? Not what should matter, what does matter.
      • What would you like to have more of in your life?
      • Set aside money for a moment; what do you want in your career?
      • What are your secret passions and dreams?
      • What would bring more joy and happiness into your life?
      • What do you want your relationships to be like?
      • What qualities would you like to develop?
      • What are your values? What issues do you care about?
      • What are your talents? What’s special about you?
      • What would you most like to accomplish?
      • What would legacy would you like to leave behind?

      It may be helpful to write your thoughts down in a journal or creative vision board if you’re the creative type. Add your own questions, and ask others what they want out of life. Relax and make this exercise fun. You may want to set your answers aside for a while and come back to them later to see if any have changed or if you have anything to add.

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      What Would Your Best Life Look Like?

      Describe your ideal life in detail. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, and create a vivid picture. If you can’t visualize a picture, focus on how your best life would feel. If you find it difficult to envision your life 20 or 30 years from now, start with five years—even a few years into the future will give you a place to start. What you see may surprise you. Set aside preconceived notions. This is your chance to dream and fantasize.

      A few prompts to get you started:

      • What will you have accomplished already?
      • How will you feel about yourself?
      • What kind of people are in your life? How do you feel about them?
      • What does your ideal day look like?
      • Where are you? Where do you live? Think specifics, what city, state, or country, type of community, house or an apartment, style and atmosphere.
      • What would you be doing?
      • Are you with another person, a group of people, or are you by yourself?
      • How are you dressed?
      • What’s your state of mind? Happy or sad? Contented or frustrated?
      • What does your physical body look like? How do you feel about that?
      • Does your best life make you smile and make your heart sing? If it doesn’t, dig deeper, dream bigger.

      It’s important to focus on the result, or at least a way-point in your life. Don’t think about the process for getting there yet—that’s the next stepGive yourself permission to revisit this vision every day, even if only for a few minutes. Keep your vision alive and in the front of your mind.

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      Plan Backwards

      It may sound counter-intuitive to plan backwards rather than forwards, but when you’re planning your life from the end result, it’s often more useful to consider the last step and work your way back to the first. This is actually a valuable and practical strategy for making your vision a reality.

      • What’s the last thing that would’ve had to happen to achieve your best life?
      • What’s the most important choice you would’ve had to make?
      • What would you have needed to learn along the way?
      • What important actions would you have had to take?
      • What beliefs would you have needed to change?
      • What habits or behaviors would you have had to cultivate?
      • What type of support would you have had to enlist?
      • How long will it have taken you to realize your best life?
      • What steps or milestones would you have needed to reach along the way?

      Now it’s time to think about your first step, and the next step after that. Ponder the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It may seem impossible, but it’s quite achievable if you take it step-by-step.

      It’s important to revisit this vision from time to time. Don’t be surprised if your answers to the questions, your technicolor vision, and the resulting plans change. That can actually be a very good thing; as you change in unforeseeable ways, the best life you envision will change as well. For now, it’s important to use the process, create your vision, and take the first step towards making that vision a reality.

      Featured photo credit: Matt Noble via unsplash.com

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