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A Follow-Up To “Change The Way You See Work and Change Your Life”

A Follow-Up To “Change The Way You See Work and Change Your Life”

A Follow-up to "Change the Way You See Work"

    I’ve received so many e-mails and comments about my “Change The Way You See Work and Change Your Life” article that I decided to write a follow-up article to talk more about the specifics of what some call “non-traditional work” but what I call “business in blue jeans”: why do it, how can you do it, and how can it transform your life? You’ll find a few more nuts and bolts here.

    Why Do It?

    I believe in a life that’s filled with four things: love, joy, passion, and freedom. If your life doesn’t have all four of these things in it, I think something needs to change!

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    First and foremost, I believe you should love what you do. Confucious said, “Choose a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.” Thomas Edison said, “I never did a day’s work in my life, it was all fun.” Steve Jobs said, “You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.” So first, love what you do, be passionate about sharing it with others, and success will come.

    Second, I believe that work doesn’t have to consume the majority of your day. If you’re working in the corporate world, you’re spending at least eight hours a day at work, but often more. Figure you’re sleeping seven or eight hours at night, then spending an hour each on things like commuting, household chores, getting ready to leave the house in the morning, exercising, and by the end of the day, you’re lucky if you’ve got three or four hours left for eating meals, enjoying your family, relaxing — and how much of that time do you spend watching TV? I just don’t think this is how life has to be.

    Third, I believe that work is what makes the rest of life possible. I love what I do — I’m deeply passionate about helping people design their lives and create a business that makes that life possible. But I’m also deeply passionate about experiencing all that life has to offer. I spend time reading so I can learn about new things. I try new hobbies all the time. I bake bread, I garden, I travel the world. And I do this because my work makes those things possible… because I’ve designed it that way. I determined what I wanted my life to look like and then I designed a business that would support that life. And you can, too.

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    So let’s get down to some nuts and bolts stuff.

    How Can You Do It?

    I’m going to put this on the table right now: the lifestyle I describe isn’t for everyone. Working in this fashion requires a certain skill set and a specific mindset. Virtually anyone can learn the skills needed. We’re talking things like self-discipline and a strong work ethic (yes, really!). But not everyone can manage the mindset. Some people feel very guilty when everyone they know is working and they’re not. Some people have been raised to believe in a very specific type of work and anything outside that is “wrong.” And some people are still operating in a mindset that’s focused on a lack of self-worth. These are hard to change. But if you can be open-minded and allow yourself to truly own your life and believe that you are worth it and you deserve it, this kind of lifestyle might be for you.

    I’ve received a lot of e-mail from people saying, “That’s great for YOU, but I can’t just go freelance and not work full-time.” Well, that’s probably true. But since I’m not talking about “going freelance,” it’s also probably not very relevant.

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    First of all, I’m not talking about NOT working. Sometimes I work a very full week. Sometimes I work more than I would ever work in a corporate setting. This is especially true when I’m working with a client to set up a new venture. You almost always work harder in the beginning when you’re building your brand and gaining visibility than you do once you’re more established. For example, I work far less now than I did when I first started. Some days I just work for a few hours and I can take vacations when I want, knowing my business will continue to run. But the point is, you love what you do, so when you are working a lot of hours, you actually enjoy it.

    Second, this isn’t taking what you do in a corporate setting and transplanting it to home. Do that and you’ll work just as hard as you did before. Instead, this type of business is centered around taking what you know and love, turning it into a system, and then finding ways to present that system to others.

    For example, say you’re a writer. You’re passionate about writing, you’re good at it, and you know how to get freelance writing gigs. In my system, you’d do freelance writing, sure, but you’d also figure out the steps you use to make a living as a writer, turn that into a system and share that system with others in a variety of ways (and of course you’d market to writers looking for gigs that didn’t necessarily compete with the kind of gigs you seek). This is just one example of where you could start. You’d also add a few other types of streams of income as well, all of which would also be similarly passive (what I call “passive(ish)”).

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    At first, building any business takes time as you get everything set up and start your marketing process. But over time, this type of “business in blue jeans” can grow into a serious, passive(ish) business, especially if you utilize outsourcing to its best postential. You get to do what you love, help others, and experience a great deal of freedom.

    How Can This Transform Your Life?

    From the start, if you’re doing work you love, your life will be transformed just by that alone. But beyond that, as you build this style of business, you also free up your time to experience the richness of life. How many times have you gone to work when it’s still dark out, worked inside all day, then left after dark, never once seeing the sunlight that day? How many times have you thought about things you’d like to do but don’t have the time for? How tired are you at the end of the day, after working under flourescent lights? How crushed is your spirit after working in a tiny cubicle?

    Now imagine how alive you’d feel if you could work in the sunlight, or if you could choose and design any workspace you wanted? How alive would you feel if you knew you could work from a cafe in Paris or a bar in Spain? What if you could just relax at home, in front of a cozy fire and work while the bread you made that morning baked in the oven, filling the house with its heavenly scent (that was my day yesterday)?

    Just imagine your dream life. Imagine every possibility- what you could do if you had more time, if you had more flexibility. Imagine what each day would look like if you could design it especially for you. You’d have more time to spend with your family. You’d have more energy to give to your work AND your family.

    The point I’m making, the point I’m almost always making, is that your life belongs to you. You really do get to choose if you want to work for someone else. You get to choose where you work and when. Most of us just don’t believe it because we can’t see “how.” But this is your life and you can choose. Whether or not you actually do, well, that’s up to you.

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    Last Updated on January 3, 2020

    The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

    The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

    Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand?  If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

    The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places!  Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.

    1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

    Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives.  Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

     I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life … 

    To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones … 

    And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

     2.  Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

    Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

    3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

    Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

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    4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

    The most positive people are the most grateful people.  They do not focus on the potholes of their lives.  They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences.  They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

    5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.

    Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do.  They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities.  They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time.  They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

    6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!

    Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

    7. Positive people smile a lot!

    When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

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    8. People who are positive are great communicators.

    They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life.  They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse.  They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

    9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

    One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time.  Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.  

    10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

    Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

    How about you?  How many habits of positive people do you personally find in yourself?  If you lack even a few of these 10 essential habits, you might find that the expected treasure at the end of the rainbow was not all that it was cracked up to be. How could it — if you keep on bringing a negative attitude around?

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    I wish you well in keeping positive, because as we all know, there is certainly nothing positive about being negative!

    Featured photo credit: Janaína Castelo Branco via flickr.com

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