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8 Habits You’d Be Better Off Without

8 Habits You’d Be Better Off Without

Everyone has those little habits that aren’t particularly conducive to a calm existence. They may be habits you don’t even realise you partake in, or you may not consider them to be of any significance. So you gossip and complain a little bit sometimes it’s not that big of a deal, right? They’re just things we do sometimes. Terence Stone has some insights as to why habits like this and a couple more are actually pretty detrimental:

The Why

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why we humans do the things we do. It got me thinking, “How much of what we do is unnecessary, or even worse, detrimental to our well-being?” After speaking to a few friends, we came up with a list of over 50 items, which I quickly narrowed down to 8 as I found many that fit into similar categories.

I’d also like to add that these things appear to stem from fear. In fact, my guess is that 98 percent of the negative/apathetic action or inaction we take is fear-based. I’ll go even further to say that these items stem from one very specific and very universal fear: the fear of death. Not physical death, but death of the ego or perceived self.

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You see, the mind can be very tricky. It latches onto ideas, events, images, feelings, everything really. In this way, it attempts to create a sense of self. The mind especially loves patterns or habits. It follows that the more habitual action in which we engage, the more the mind identifies, and says, “OK, this is who I am.”

If our habits tend to be mostly negative, then how does that make us feel about who we are? As if that weren’t enough, we become attached to that sense of self, and develop aversion to anything that threatens it. Just some food for thought as you look over the list.

The List

1. Complaining

This is one of the most natural of human tendencies. It is one of the largest tell-tale signs of an unconscious mind and resistance to what is. Next time you find yourself complaining, ask yourself why. Can you accept the situation?

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2. Gossiping

Another common human trait. What is it really doing for you? Remember that the person you’re speaking about is a complex being with dreams and fears just like you. Chances are you probably don’t know their whole life story or circumstances. Cultivate compassion.

3. Procrastination

In my experience, procrastination involves some pretty intense anxiety. You know what you need to do, but you just can’t bring yourself to do it NOW. Why put yourself through that? Take a breath and do what you gotta do.

4. Incessant business

Whether you have the most important job in the world or not, we all feel the need to do something or many things often. That is fine and natural. But we all must take a breather. Find the Taoist in you, and think, “At the end of my life, will I regret that I didn’t do more work, or will I regret that I didn’t spend more time really enjoying myself and others?”

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5. Spending money on things you don’t need

Not sure this needs too much explanation. Most of the time we buy things to increase our sense of self. Remember that your self, your true self, needs no add-ons. You are already whole. You just need to realize that. On a practical note, this will also save you a good deal of money!

6. Worrying about what everyone thinks about you

This may surprise you to hear, but most of the time no one is thinking about you. Don’t take this the wrong way. All I mean to say is that worrying about what others think is ultimately worrying about yourself in a negative light. And guess what? Everyone else is doing the same thing. Most humans are self-involved. Take comfort in this and stop concerning yourself with the thoughts of others. It’ll free up a lot of mental space!

7. Perfectionism and self-doubt

Recently, someone said to me, “Perfectionism is actually Failurism.” Why? Because when you are a perfectionist, you constantly doubt yourself. You look for the failure in your life and attempt to fix it. Then you have to deal with all the failures that crop up from your attempt to fix the last failure. It is a destructive and unnecessary cycle. If you’re always focusing on the negative, your mind begins to identify with that. Why not try focusing mostly on the positive?

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8. Dwelling on the past and worrying about the future

Ah, yes. This is the most insidious of habits. Fear loves this habit, because it keeps you in a perpetual state of terror. You are afraid to repeat past mistakes or let go of past hurts. You spend your time fantasizing about how you will fail. Guess what? It’s not real. The past is gone forever. You will never actually be in the future. All we have is this moment. How will you choose to spend it?

Terence Stone: Chief Editor and Founder of Urban Spiritual, I’m a classically trained (and training) actor and singer living in New York City, who has performed in the U.S. and Europe. I’m also a writer, traveller, meditator, arts-lover, and well-being enthusiast.

8 habits You Should Cut Out of Your Life Now | Urban Spiritual

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Last Updated on January 17, 2019

8 Simple Mindfulness Exercises to Bring Peace and Happiness to Your Life

8 Simple Mindfulness Exercises to Bring Peace and Happiness to Your Life

In life, we all need to be conscientious of what we are doing. You don’t need to live a life of stress if you don’t want to. You can achieve peace and happiness in life by carefully building mindfulness exercises into your life’s routine.

Exercising mindfulness isn’t rocket science and as importantly, you can do it. It will, however, take a few tries to get into the groove of things but once you get it, it is like riding a bike, you will never lose it.

Trust me. It’s in your best interest to learn and put these mindfulness exercises into practice. In this article, I will share with you 8 mindfulness exercises that will help you to boost your energy, vitality and live a more peaceful and happier life.

Why Is It Hard to Live A Peaceful And Happy Life?

Our Habitat Has Become Too Technological

The world has accepted the idea that technology is often the cure for all evil. We have accepted, as a society, that everything technological will make us live a better life without fully investigating the many side effects that modernity brings.

There are a number of technological side effects that have a tremendous impact on your life that the media rarely tells you about.[1] Some of them include self-harm, economic inequality, having less sex, and even suicide. The global community is becoming less happy because of technology.

How can anybody live a peaceful and happy life when they are depressed? Technology advancements, ladies and gents, is a major reason for why we are living a poor life because it has infiltrated our lives too much.

According to my research, Americans spend an average of 8 hours a day looking at the computer screen — The average screen time spent on smartphones alone is about 20 hours per week. That’s a lot! No wonder why living a happy and peaceful life is so difficult these days.

Too Many People Don’t Want to Unplug

Americans check their phones an average of 80 times during vacation.[2] Some admit to checking their smartphones 300 times every single day. In countries like Brazil, India and China, the situation is no different.

The reality is that people are constantly plugged into technological devices and this behavior is literally making people all over the globe fight an inner war with themselves, which consequently makes them very sad. As we know, war is the enemy of peace which won’t make anybody happy.

Listen carefully:

We have a global anxiety epidemic because people don’t want to unplug from their smartphones and most people aren’t doing anything to fix it. It is a sad state of affairs but very real. This obsession with technology is turning us into perishable robots who live terrible lives.

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The era of anxiety is here to stay. There is little doubt about it. We can, however, fight back with the best remedy of all — We call it mindfulness!

Thank God there is an antidote to this whole technological madness. Without further ado, let’s go straight to the mindful exercises.

8 Mindfulness Exercises to Start Practicing

There are tons of mindfulness exercises available for you to engage with out there.[3] In the paragraphs below, I will include the best ones I’ve personally tried or have seen my close friends and family members try.

Are you ready for it? Let’s go!

1. Pray Daily

You should pray on a daily basis. Why is that you may ask — Well, because science has told us to do so.

When people pray, they feel peaceful, almost eliminating anxiety. Worries become secondary, and often gives people energy and hope to cope with the difficulties of life.

Prayer can make you more confident and focused. Prayer also helps you with self-control, helps to control pain, and can protect you against illnesses and disorders like cancer and high blood pressure. At least, this is what researchers from Harvard Medical School have said.[4]

Pray. You won’t regret it.[5]

2. Pay Attention to Your Inner Thoughts

A lot of people allow themselves to be influenced by their negative thoughts. Be different and resist believing in them. It is a bad habit that can lead to unhappiness.

By the way, if you do feel this way, chances are high that somebody other than you put these thoughts into your head.

Here is my secret to combat this cancer — look at things objectively. I bet that if you look at things as they are, you will realize that most if not all of your negative thoughts are only inside of your head.

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If you pay close attention, you will quickly realize that these voices aren’t worth your time. Believe me — Ignoring them and looking at things with objectivity is often the best course of action.

This article can guide you to beat negative thoughts:

How to Stop Automatic Negative Thoughts When You’re Overwhelmed

3. Smile Often

Smiling will slow down your heart. It will also relax your body because when you smile, your body releases endorphins which in itself has a number of positive benefits for you as a person.

Smile often! You may want to smile early in the morning, during the day, and late in the evening. It is amazing what happens to you when you decide to smile instead of being grumpy.

Surrender your problems to a nice smile. You will notice two things. First, most people just don’t which makes them live a miserable life. Second, if you decide to smile often, you will eventually smile unconsciously which is the ideal.

The moment that you smile unconsciously, you then know that you are truly happy.

4. Organize Your Working Desk

A messy desk will make you less productive and can agitate and overstimulate you. You don’t want that.

When you clear your desk, you engage in deep inner-thinking and your systematic decision making ends up becoming therapeutic.

Most people realize that they are most creative when their creative space is clean and organized. The former often makes people more aware of what they are doing which lends to less stress and more productivity.

Organizing your desk will also make you more energetic and focused because order often decreases chaos which is a condition that often slows down daily progress.

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5. Celebrate Your Friend’s Victories

I love this mindful exercise. One of the best ways to live a happy and peaceful life is to celebrate the victories of others. When you do that, you automatically make your friends in a better mood which makes you in a better mood, as well.

Happiness is contagious! We might as well celebrate others as much as we can. If you find out that your peer has won an award, celebrate with him! If your friend is the recipient of a local charity award, celebrate with her!

What is also awesome is that when you celebrate with others, they often celebrate with you in return. This, ladies and gentleman, will make you feel fantastic. You can’t go wrong with this one, period.

6. Listen to Your Spouse/Partner

God put someone in your life for a reason. You might as well listen to him or her.

I listen to my wife everyday. In fact, I often ask the following question to her, “Amanda, what are your thoughts about…” or “What am I missing about…” It is shocking what I hear back from her. Without her having much context and perspective, by the art of observation in my own nonverbal behavior and the behavior of others, she accurately gives me incredible insights which helps me out with living my life to the fullest.

I’m a firm believer that spouses are supposed to engage in interpersonal communication every day. I most definitely do and will continue doing it. You should do the same.

7. Give Yourself a Break from Technology

You can’t be in total equilibrium if your computerized devices control your life. You must get away from technology on a daily basis.[6]

How do you do that? This is my formula:

First, take this smartphone control test. It is only ten questions but this test will place you somewhere in the human robot cycle continuum.

If your score is between 25-30, take a break from the computer (or smartphone, pad, laptop/desktop) every twenty minutes and stop being on a computerized device after 8:00pm.

If you score between 30-35, still take a break every 20 minutes but stop being on these devices at 5:00pm.

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If you score more than 35, you need to take action immediately.

Limit computer use as much as possible throughout the day. Give yourself as many breaks from the computer as possible. Are you ready for the challenge?

8. Go Exercise

Go exercise at least three times a week. I don’t care if you need to workout early in the morning, late in the evening, on the weekends or during work days. Working out is absolutely imperative for you to live happy and peaceful life.

The stresses of the modern world are too much for you to neglect this important mindfulness exercise. When you go to the gym, you burn calories, focus on activities one step at a time, your mind relaxes, anxiety decreases, you sweat and often think about topics unrelated to your work place among many other benefits.

You must exercise at least three hours each week for optimum results. Why? Just take a look at all the benefits of regular exercising:

12 Benefits of Regular Exercise You Should Know

The Bottom Line

It’s in your best interest to learn and put these mindfulness exercises into practice. Now that our habitat has become too technological and many people just don’t want to unplug, engaging in daily prayer, celebrate your friends’ victories, and listening to your spouse are among the best ways to be mindful about what you are doing and how you are living.

It is possible to live a happy and peaceful life. It only depends on you.

Go exercise! Take a break from technology and invest in you! Life is too short for distractions.

More Resources About Mindfulness

Featured photo credit: Lesly Juarez via unsplash.com

Reference

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