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7 Steps To Planning A Honeymoon To Remember

7 Steps To Planning A Honeymoon To Remember

Weddings are stressful. Between mingling with guests, the vast array of anything that can go wrong and usually does, the planning, the execution, and the expectations newlyweds are often sent collapsing into bed on their wedding night without so much as taking off their shoes! Your honeymoon should be a time to rest and relax with your new spouse, not “another thing” to check off a list. These 7 steps to planning a honeymoon to remember can make the time you spend really special, not stressful!

1. Work out your budget.

Even with financial wedding gifts, a honeymoon generally costs at least some money. Figure out what you can comfortably afford to spend and how far that money will take you. This may eliminate some “dream honeymoon” ideas, but if you’re really with the right person, it won’t matter if you’re hiding out at the local “no-tell motel” or hanging on a Jamaican beach.

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2. How much do you really want to do?

photo: Agnese Aljena

    After the stress and excitement of the wedding, it’s probably time to slow down a little. Some people like to be constantly on the go, moving from thing to thing to thing. Others enjoy taking their time and enjoying what’s out there. Pick your honeymoon plans in such a way that you get to do things you’ll both enjoy, without needing a vacation from your vacation!

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    3. Maximize vacation time, not travel time.

    As a rule of thumb, your travel time to and from should not make up more than 10% of your total honeymoon. This includes travel time to and from the airport, checking and picking up luggage, security, and actual travel time. The exception to this is if you’re driving across the country on a tour. In this case, your lodging time probably shouldn’t make up more than around a third of your total vacation. Plan your travel time so that you have plenty of vacation without spending an undue amount of time traveling and checking in.

    4. Check on the weather frequently.

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    Weather HD for iPhone

      A honeymoon on a tropical island can be romantic…but that hurricane building off the coast could blow your honeymoon right out of the water! Make sure the weather and average climate for the time of year you’re considering your honeymoon are in step with what you want to do. Laying on a beach is impractical in a typhoon, but skiing is impossible when the ambient temperature is over 90!

      5. Factor in time off work.

      Chances are you and your spouse are both employed, so be sure to take into account the time off you’ll need for the wedding and the honeymoon, as well as some extra when you get back home. People disagree on what the “ideal” acclimation time is after a wedding, but one extra day for every three days of wedding prep and honeymoon time is usually a pretty solid rule. This gives you time to get used to life as husband and wife and calm down from the frenzy of activity and travel before you have to get back to the grind.

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      6. Choose your attire appropriately.

      Many places give extra shrift to honeymooners, bending or breaking dress codes to accommodate the newlyweds. Depending on your budget and where you are, this may or may not be possible. Be sure to take at least two changes of casual clothing, one nice outfit, and for guys, a tie or a banded-collar shirt for dining out. This is in addition to bathing suits, lingerie, and the other “usual suspects” one would expect to take on a honeymoon.

      7. Remember why you’re there.

      20090923-couple_in_the_park

        A honeymoon is time for you and your spouse to celebrate your love and the solemnization of your union. Don’t pack your schedule so full that you don’t see each other the whole time. This will be a big enough problem during the wedding. (Trust me on this, if you’ve never had one before.) Be sure to budget your time and activities to get the most of each others’ love and company while you can, before real life intrudes again and you find yourselves back in the real world. Take time to stargaze, walk on the beach or in the mountains, and make love while you have the time to devote exclusively to each other.

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        J.S. Wayne

        J.S. Wayne is a passionate writer who shares lifestyle inspirations and tips on Lifehack.

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        Last Updated on July 10, 2020

        How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

        How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

        We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

        We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

        So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

        Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

        What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

        Boundaries are limits

        —they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

        Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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        Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

        Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

        Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

        How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

        Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

        1. Self-Awareness Comes First

        Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

        You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

        To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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        You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

        • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
        • When do you feel disrespected?
        • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
        • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
        • When do you want to be alone?
        • How much space do you need?

        You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

        2. Clear Communication Is Essential

        Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

        Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

        3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

        Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

        That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

        Sample language:

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        • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
        • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
        • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
        • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
        • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
        • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
        • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

        Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

        4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

        Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

        Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

        Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

        We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

        It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

        It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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        Final Thoughts

        Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

        Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

        Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

        The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

        Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

        Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

        They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

        Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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