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6 Kinds of Christmas Gifts to Avoid

6 Kinds of Christmas Gifts to Avoid

Ever received a gift that you later tossed into the closet, never to be seen or heard from again? One of the main pitfalls of gift-giving is buying a present for someone that they will have no use for.

However, great gifts can bring people closer and are often hugely appreciated by the receiver. We have all been the impractical gift-giver at some point, so pay attention to the kinds of presents to avoid wrapping up this holiday season.

1. The re-gift

Most people have re-gifted at some point in their lives. Christmas shopping is stressful and time-consuming, so people often re-gift books, DVDs, ornaments and other items they were previously given that they had no use for.

However this takes very little time and doesn’t require any effort or finances, so it could leave the receiver feeling undervalued or hurt. Ask yourself if this gift going to spend another year simply gathering dust on your loved one’s shelf?

Chris, 25, received a re-gift from his brother Mark when they were both teenagers, an untouched CD Mark had received the year before. Chris didn’t enjoy the artist and the album was out of date, but he was mainly hurt by the lack of thought on his brother’s part.

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“He just grabbed it and quickly wrapped it,” Chris said. “If he was short on time and money I would rather he just make me a card – I never listened to the CD [again] after the first time.”

The main reason people don’t enjoy re-gifts is because of the lack of thought put into them – family heirlooms and well planned re-gifts can be a huge success if your worry is money.

2. The overly practical gift

If you are buying gifts for someone you live with, and the item would still have been purchased, this isn’t much of a gift. A new microwave, laundry basket, or set of forks could be really useful in your house, but the recipient will probably feel that they were cheated out of a gift, as it doesn’t suit any of their personal interests.

Debbie, 54, was surprised to discover her husband Jeremy had bought her a mop for her birthday during the first year they lived together.

“We needed a mop, but if it had been any other month we would have still bought one,” she said. “I don’t enjoy cleaning and the present wasn’t exciting or fun. I made my feelings clear – he never bought me a gift like that again!”

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If your partner asks for a vacuum cleaner, it will make a great gift. But if they don’t, consider their hobbies and interests. What would put a genuine smile on their face?

3. The gift with a point

Gifts come with a message, and normally the message is affection and love. Everyone wants the best for the closest people in their lives, and presents can be a great way to help people grow.

However, sometimes gifts can send a message that is hurtful to the receiver. Often gifts with a point can try to help people self-improve, from treadmills to cookbooks to exercise DVDs. These gifts could leave the receiver feeling offended, as it may seem like you think they are lacking and could do to improve.

“Both of my parents love horses,” Sarah, 34, said. “They both work with them and ride in their free time. I’ve never been a fan of them myself, but my parents always wanted me to work with horses as well. When I was 14, they bought me a book about horses for Christmas – I told them then I had no interest in horses and the gift wasn’t suited to me. Thankfully, they apologized and now they would never try to get me on a horse.”

Even though this present is normally sent with the best intentions, to save trouble, think about areas they are already skilled in, so the present is more useful to the receiver.

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4. The ‘you don’t really know them’ gift

If you don’t know much about someone’s interests or passions, it can be hard to think of a gift they will enjoy. People often go for safe options like bath products, candles, and perfumes, which can be risky as people often dislike the scents, or are allergic to the products.

Reece, 22, was gifted a hunting knife from his neighbors when he was ten.

“I thought the gift was really cool, as I didn’t know the neighbors well, and I am still touched they considered me,” Reece said. “I’d never had an interest in hunting before, though, and I cut my finger pretty badly within a few hours of opening the present, so my dad took it away and I haven’t seen it since.”

If you don’t know someone well and you still want to get them something, gift cards are a great option to consider. Although some people think they are impersonal, it gives the individual the freedom to choose something for themselves that they will love.

5. The present with bad intentions

Unlike the gift with a point, this gift is never sent with good intentions. Examples include buying cleaning products for untidy housemates, dandruff shampoo to a sibling who doesn’t wash frequently, or exercise equipment for someone who is very weight conscious.

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“I lived with my sister and her boyfriend for a few weeks before Christmas when I first moved to Scotland,” said Natalie, 46. “On Christmas Day her boyfriend gave me a bed and breakfast guide for the city. I was embarrassed in front of my family – I wanted to curl up and disappear!”

People often send hurtful presents if they dislike confrontation and don’t know how to tackle the problem, but they can be very belittling to the receiver. The most respectful way to deal with any problems you have with someone is to talk to them openly, rather than possibly causing any emotional damage.

6. The gift for yourself

Often when you live with someone, gifts are used by everyone in the house. But are you buying the gift for them, or you? People often get excited about gifts they know they can use, so they create reasons why it is useful for everyone.

“Last year my wife bought me a foot massager, which I have used once – and she uses nearly every night,” said Nathan, 34. “I don’t work on my feet, so I didn’t really understand why she bought me it initially. I can see why now.”

This gift is often seen as selfish, as it doesn’t consider the person the gift is actually for and mainly benefits the person who bought it. This present is basically anything that you benefit from more than them – whether it is a car, a bottle of wine or a PS4.

Ask yourself if the present benefits you more than the person you are buying it for. If it does, keep looking until you find something you know that they, specifically, will love.

Featured photo credit: Another Christmas Tree Detail in Shopping/Viktor Hanacek via picjumbo.com

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on January 3, 2020

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand?  If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places!  Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.

1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives.  Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

 I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life … 

To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones … 

And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

 2.  Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

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4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

The most positive people are the most grateful people.  They do not focus on the potholes of their lives.  They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences.  They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.

Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do.  They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities.  They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time.  They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!

Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

7. Positive people smile a lot!

When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

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8. People who are positive are great communicators.

They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life.  They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse.  They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time.  Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.  

10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

How about you?  How many habits of positive people do you personally find in yourself?  If you lack even a few of these 10 essential habits, you might find that the expected treasure at the end of the rainbow was not all that it was cracked up to be. How could it — if you keep on bringing a negative attitude around?

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I wish you well in keeping positive, because as we all know, there is certainly nothing positive about being negative!

Featured photo credit: Janaína Castelo Branco via flickr.com

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