Advertising
Advertising

5 Ways to Avoid Change in 2009

5 Ways to Avoid Change in 2009

Change Alley - not where you want to be at night

    The financial climate, the job market, family tensions, Obama moving into the Lincoln bedroom.  Even the climate’s getting in on it.  Yup, change is everywhere in 2009.

    Apparently some people are ’embracing change’, but aren’t aware of the dangers inherent in changing the ways things are.  If you’re not careful, all kinds of strange things might happen in your otherwise ordered life, so it’s best to work at avoiding change whenever it rears its head.

    Advertising

    Here are 5 ways to do just that:

    1. Ignore any opportunities.

    How many times have you taken a chance, only for things to go wrong? How many times have you seized an opportunity only for it to slip between your fingers?

    There’s always another screw-up waiting for you, so it’s better to stay right where you are. Where you are right now is a known quantity – it’s safe, warm and comfortable. Doesn’t that sound better than going out there, screwing up and looking stupid?

    Advertising

    2.  Set your expectations low.

    If you’re one of the people out there looking to make a change in 2009 rather than having change made for you, you’d better set your expectations low.

    Set your expectations high and you’re only setting yourself up for disappointment. When you have high expectations of yourself and what you can do you’re in line for the biggest of reality checks.

    Things rarely turn out as you want them to, so set your expectations low so that you don’t end up more disappointed than necessary.

    Advertising

    3. Keep on running and don’t look back.

    Life’s busier than ever, right?  You’ve got loads going on at work, loads happening with friends and family and all kinds of demands on your time.

    The best thing to do is to set things out so that you can do everything.  It’s good to be busy and running around after everyone else will mean that everyone’s happy and there’s no room for change to happen.  It’s a win-win!

    4. Recognise that most changes are too big.

    Face it; there are some tasks you’re just not up to. Landing that exciting new job, getting a promotion, taking on the ‘big project’ or building a relationship that really works – these are all big challenges and you don’t want to bite off more than you can chew.

    Advertising

    Some things are just bigger than you are, so if you insist on changing something it’s better to take on small, low-impact or no-impact stuff that you know you can do.

    5. Ignore that little voice inside

    You might sometimes hear a little voice in your head that tells you you’re not happy or that something has to change.  This little trouble maker can speak up at any time and throw the Spanner of Confusion in the works, and it has only one thing on it’s mind – to take you out of your comfort zone and make you change.

    Imagine if everyone went around listening to what they really wanted and acted on it – chaos.

    No, best to ignore it and carry on doing what you’re doing.

    More by this author

    Steve Errey

    Steve is a confidence coach who helps leaders build confidence.

    New Years Resolutions Don’t Work – Here’s Why How to Be Confident: 62 Proven Ways to Build Self-Confidence 7 Ways to Stop Being Treated Like a Doormat I Like You a Lot How To Muster Your Confidence And Tell Someone You Like Them Stuck in Rewind. 7 Beliefs That Will Help When You Get Stuck

    Trending in Lifestyle

    1 How to Sleep Through the Night and Get Good Rest 2 How to Eat Healthy on a Budget (The Definitive Guide) 3 The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People 4 13 Tips to Face Your Fears, Grow with Them and Enjoy the Ride 5 20 Best Guided Meditations for Sleep and Insomnia

    Read Next

    Advertising
    Advertising
    Advertising

    Last Updated on January 3, 2020

    The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

    The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

    Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand?  If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

    The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places!  Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.

    1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

    Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives.  Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

     I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life … 

    To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones … 

    And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

     2.  Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

    Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

    3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

    Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

    Advertising

    4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

    The most positive people are the most grateful people.  They do not focus on the potholes of their lives.  They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences.  They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

    5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.

    Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do.  They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities.  They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time.  They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

    6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!

    Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

    7. Positive people smile a lot!

    When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

    Advertising

    8. People who are positive are great communicators.

    They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life.  They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse.  They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

    9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

    One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time.  Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.  

    10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

    Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

    How about you?  How many habits of positive people do you personally find in yourself?  If you lack even a few of these 10 essential habits, you might find that the expected treasure at the end of the rainbow was not all that it was cracked up to be. How could it — if you keep on bringing a negative attitude around?

    Advertising

    I wish you well in keeping positive, because as we all know, there is certainly nothing positive about being negative!

    Featured photo credit: Janaína Castelo Branco via flickr.com

    Read Next