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5 Things That Crush Your Motivation

5 Things That Crush Your Motivation

Trying to stick to a workout and diet plan but struggling? If so, you may want to take a closer look at what you’re currently doing that could be completely derailing your motivation. Motivation is something that tends to come and go for many people and unless they have the right principles in place, is something that may never come back.

People are falling off their workout and diet protocols all the time and the best way to get around this is to take proactive measures. Let’s walk you through five things that you could be doing to crush your motivation and send you spiraling off your protocol.

1. Going at it Alone

First, make sure that you are not going about things alone. Whether you have a workout buddy, a diet partner, an accountability partner, or a personal trainer working with you, just make sure that you are experiencing the journey with someone. When you feel like you’re alone, as soon as the hard times hit, you’ll go falling off the plan in no time.

2. Expecting Perfection

Next, you must make sure that you aren’t expecting too much from yourself. This is another area in which many people go wrong and it causes them serious issues. If you expect yourself to be perfect, you’ll be far less likely to put forth any effort at all. If you are willing to except maximum effort, it’s far more encouraging to at least try.

Perfectionist thinking is the worst thing that you can get trapped into as you try and make changes in your health and fitness level.

3. Not Learning from Previous Mistakes

There is No Turning Back

    It’s a must that you take time to learn from past mistakes. Whatever happened in the past can serve to help you grow stronger – if you use it to learn from the mistake. If you aren’t learning from mistakes, you are bound to repeat the behavior, leading to more problems down the road.

    After each set-back occurs, look at why and what you can do so that it doesn’t happen again.

    4. Not Using a Plan That You Enjoy

    It’s imperative that you put yourself on a workout and diet plan that you enjoy. With so many different approaches out there that can be very successful, there is simply no reason to do something that you don’t like. Do that and you are headed for failure. Seek out a program that you enjoy and actually look forward to.

    Remember that leading a healthy lifestyle does not and should not feel like torture. If it does, you’re doing something wrong.

    5. Neglecting Rest

    Finally, make sure that you are giving yourself sufficient rest throughout the week. One big mistake that people who are new to the fitness and health scene make is going full speed ahead, hitting the gym six to seven days a week. Two weeks later, they’re wondering why they can’t muster up the energy to get back in there for their next workout.

    Start focusing on working hard, but resting hard as well. Remember, rest is vital to your recovery and coming back to the gym feeling strong and ready to push yourself. If you aren’t recovered, you clearly are not going to be in the mood to be pushing yourself at all.

    So keep these quick tips in mind as you go about your workout and diet protocol. If you feel a slip in motivation, make sure one of these is not at play.

    Featured photo credit: Paul Bence via flickr.com

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    Last Updated on July 10, 2020

    How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

    How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

    We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

    We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

    So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

    Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

    What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

    Boundaries are limits

    —they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

    Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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    Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

    Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

    Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

    How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

    Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

    1. Self-Awareness Comes First

    Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

    You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

    To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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    You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

    • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
    • When do you feel disrespected?
    • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
    • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
    • When do you want to be alone?
    • How much space do you need?

    You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

    2. Clear Communication Is Essential

    Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

    Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

    3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

    Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

    That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

    Sample language:

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    • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
    • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
    • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
    • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
    • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
    • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
    • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

    Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

    4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

    Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

    Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

    Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

    We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

    It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

    It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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    Final Thoughts

    Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

    Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

    Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

    The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

    Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

    Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

    They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

    Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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