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5 Reasons Why You Should Thank Your Child For Their Tantrums

5 Reasons Why You Should Thank Your Child For Their Tantrums

Temper tantrums are one of the most annoying and most embarrassing things your child can do. Next time your toddler is screaming, crying, and beating their arms and legs on the floor at the store, instead of getting frustrated, try to remember that tantrums aren’t all bad. Here are five reasons you should thank your child for his or her tantrums.

1. Thank you for speaking up when something’s not right.

Your child is throwing a tantrum because—to them—something’s not right. They’re unhappy with how something is going, and while this fussing may be out of line, considering you are the parent and they are the child, at least they are still speaking up. As your child grows older, they can funnel this trait into the more adult solutions of speaking up for the underdog, or not letting themself get passed over for promotions at work.

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2. Thank you for living true to a child’s nature.

Children have tantrums. It’s a fact, and it’s going to happen. Yes, it’s extra embarrassing when it happens in public, or when you can’t calm your child down. But everyone knows that it’s normal. Children have tantrums, and your child is just being a kid. They’re exploring their emotions and trying to advance as well as they know how. If this means throwing tantrums to deal with their confusing feelings, then this is what they should be doing. They’re not going to be children forever, and they’re not going to throw tantrums forever. They are doing what they feel they should do now, so they can learn and grow and do differently in the future.

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    3. Thank you for forgiving us as parents and letting us try again.

    Children don’t hold grudges. They love you, and then they get angry at something, but then love just as strongly in the next moment. It’s a beautiful occurrence and it can only happen while your child is so young and naive, exploring the emotions and ways of the world. Let your child throw their tantrum, and be there to hug them and reassure them when they’re done. You’ll forgive your child and they’ll forgive you, and you can both start again from scratch. Think of it this way: it’s way easier than it will be when it’s time to deal with surly teenagers!

    4. Thank you for trying to express yourself.

    Face it, at their age, toddlers don’t have a great vocabulary. They can’t tell you exactly what they’re feeling and why. Imagine trying to express yourself but having extremely limited abilities. It would be frustrating, right? And imagine the person you’re trying to explain it to just doesn’t get it. You’d want to cry, right? And flail about on the floor until you’re comforted and understood? Well, maybe you wouldn’t do that, but that’s the only way children know how to express themselves, so at least they are trying! As they continue to throw tantrums and gauge your reaction to this behavior, they’ll be more likely to adapt and try to express themselves in different ways.

    5. Thank you for caring.

    Kids will react just like adults do—if you care about something, you’re going to react passionately about it. If you don’t care, are you going to react at all? Probably not! Your child’s tantrum shows that he or she cares about something, whether it’s something as seemingly petty as not getting a new toy, to being left out of a game with siblings. You should be thankful that your child is engaged with the world around them. They’re listening to what’s going on and reacting to it, even if that reaction has to come out as a tantrum.

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    Last Updated on September 20, 2018

    How to Stay Calm and Cool When You Are Extremely Stressful

    How to Stay Calm and Cool When You Are Extremely Stressful

    Being in a hurry all the time drains your energy. Your work and routine life make you feel overwhelmed. Getting caught up in things beyond your control stresses you out…

    If you’d like to stay calm and cool in stressful situations, put the following 8 steps into practice:

    1. Breathe

    The next time you’re faced with a stressful situation that makes you want to hurry, stop what you’re doing for one minute and perform the following steps:

    • Take five deep breaths in and out (your belly should come forward with each inhale).
    • Imagine all that stress leaving your body with each exhale.
    • Smile. Fake it if you have to. It’s pretty hard to stay grumpy with a goofy grin on your face.

    Feel free to repeat the above steps every few hours at work or home if you need to.

    2. Loosen up

    After your breathing session, perform a quick body scan to identify any areas that are tight or tense. Clenched jaw? Rounded shoulders? Anything else that isn’t at ease?

    Gently touch or massage any of your body parts that are under tension to encourage total relaxation. It might help to imagine you’re in a place that calms you: a beach, hot tub, or nature trail, for example.

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    3. Chew slowly

    Slow down at the dinner table if you want to learn to be patient and lose weight. Shoveling your food down as fast as you can is a surefire way to eat more than you need to (and find yourself with a bellyache).

    Be a mindful eater who pays attention to the taste, texture, and aroma of every dish. Chew slowly while you try to guess all of the ingredients that were used to prepare your dish.

    Chewing slowly will also reduce those dreadful late-night cravings that sneak up on you after work.

    4. Let go

    Cliche as it sounds, it’s very effective.

    The thing that seems like the end of the world right now?

    It’s not. Promise.

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    Stressing and worrying about the situation you’re in won’t do any good because you’re already in it, so just let it go.

    Letting go isn’t easy, so here’s a guide to help you:

    21 Things To Do When You Find It Hard To Let Go

    5. Enjoy the journey

    Focusing on the end result can quickly become exhausting. Chasing a bold, audacious goal that’s going to require a lot of time and patience? Split it into several mini-goals so you’ll have several causes for celebration.

    Stop focusing on the negative thoughts. Giving yourself consistent positive feedback will help you grow patience, stay encouraged, and find more joy in the process of achieving your goals.

    6. Look at the big picture

    The next time you find your stress level skyrocketing, take a deep breath, and ask yourself:

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    Will this matter to me…

    • Next week?
    • Next month?
    • Next year?
    • In 10 years?

    Hint: No, it won’t.

    I bet most of the stuff that stresses you wouldn’t matter the next week, maybe not even the next day.

    Stop agonizing over things you can’t control because you’re only hurting yourself.

    7. Stop demanding perfection of yourself

    You’re not perfect and that’s okay. Show me a person who claims to be perfect and I’ll show you a dirty liar.

    Demanding perfection of yourself (or anybody else) will only stress you out because it just isn’t possible.

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    8. Practice patience every day

    Below are a few easy ways you can practice patience every day, increasing your ability to remain calm and cool in times of stress:

    • The next time you go to the grocery store, get in the longest line.
    • Instead of going through the drive-thru at your bank, go inside.
    • Take a long walk through a secluded park or trail.

    Final thoughts

    Staying calm in stressful situations is possible, all you need is some daily practice.

    Taking deep breaths and eat mindfully are some simple ways to train your brain to be more patient. But changing the way you think of a situation and staying positive are most important in keeping cool whenever you feel overwhelmed and stressful.

    Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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