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5 Reasons Why You Should Thank Your Child For Their Tantrums

5 Reasons Why You Should Thank Your Child For Their Tantrums

Temper tantrums are one of the most annoying and most embarrassing things your child can do. Next time your toddler is screaming, crying, and beating their arms and legs on the floor at the store, instead of getting frustrated, try to remember that tantrums aren’t all bad. Here are five reasons you should thank your child for his or her tantrums.

1. Thank you for speaking up when something’s not right.

Your child is throwing a tantrum because—to them—something’s not right. They’re unhappy with how something is going, and while this fussing may be out of line, considering you are the parent and they are the child, at least they are still speaking up. As your child grows older, they can funnel this trait into the more adult solutions of speaking up for the underdog, or not letting themself get passed over for promotions at work.

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2. Thank you for living true to a child’s nature.

Children have tantrums. It’s a fact, and it’s going to happen. Yes, it’s extra embarrassing when it happens in public, or when you can’t calm your child down. But everyone knows that it’s normal. Children have tantrums, and your child is just being a kid. They’re exploring their emotions and trying to advance as well as they know how. If this means throwing tantrums to deal with their confusing feelings, then this is what they should be doing. They’re not going to be children forever, and they’re not going to throw tantrums forever. They are doing what they feel they should do now, so they can learn and grow and do differently in the future.

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    3. Thank you for forgiving us as parents and letting us try again.

    Children don’t hold grudges. They love you, and then they get angry at something, but then love just as strongly in the next moment. It’s a beautiful occurrence and it can only happen while your child is so young and naive, exploring the emotions and ways of the world. Let your child throw their tantrum, and be there to hug them and reassure them when they’re done. You’ll forgive your child and they’ll forgive you, and you can both start again from scratch. Think of it this way: it’s way easier than it will be when it’s time to deal with surly teenagers!

    4. Thank you for trying to express yourself.

    Face it, at their age, toddlers don’t have a great vocabulary. They can’t tell you exactly what they’re feeling and why. Imagine trying to express yourself but having extremely limited abilities. It would be frustrating, right? And imagine the person you’re trying to explain it to just doesn’t get it. You’d want to cry, right? And flail about on the floor until you’re comforted and understood? Well, maybe you wouldn’t do that, but that’s the only way children know how to express themselves, so at least they are trying! As they continue to throw tantrums and gauge your reaction to this behavior, they’ll be more likely to adapt and try to express themselves in different ways.

    5. Thank you for caring.

    Kids will react just like adults do—if you care about something, you’re going to react passionately about it. If you don’t care, are you going to react at all? Probably not! Your child’s tantrum shows that he or she cares about something, whether it’s something as seemingly petty as not getting a new toy, to being left out of a game with siblings. You should be thankful that your child is engaged with the world around them. They’re listening to what’s going on and reacting to it, even if that reaction has to come out as a tantrum.

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    Last Updated on January 21, 2020

    The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

    The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

    Creating a vision for your life might seem like a frivolous, fantastical waste of time, but it’s not: creating a compelling vision of the life you want is actually one of the most effective strategies for achieving the life of your dreams. Perhaps the best way to look at the concept of a life vision is as a compass to help guide you to take the best actions and make the right choices that help propel you toward your best life.

    your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have

      Why You Need a Vision

      Experts and life success stories support the idea that with a vision in mind, you are more likely to succeed far beyond what you could otherwise achieve without a clear vision. Think of crafting your life vision as mapping a path to your personal and professional dreams. Life satisfaction and personal happiness are within reach. The harsh reality is that if you don’t develop your own vision, you’ll allow other people and circumstances to direct the course of your life.

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      How to Create Your Life Vision

      Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It will resonate with your values and ideals, and will generate energy and enthusiasm to help strengthen your commitment to explore the possibilities of your life.

      What Do You Want?

      The question sounds deceptively simple, but it’s often the most difficult to answer. Allowing yourself to explore your deepest desires can be very frightening. You may also not think you have the time to consider something as fanciful as what you want out of life, but it’s important to remind yourself that a life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance, but by design.

      It’s helpful to ask some thought-provoking questions to help you discover the possibilities of what you want out of life. Consider every aspect of your life, personal and professional, tangible and intangible. Contemplate all the important areas, family and friends, career and success, health and quality of life, spiritual connection and personal growth, and don’t forget about fun and enjoyment.

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      Some tips to guide you:

      • Remember to ask why you want certain things
      • Think about what you want, not on what you don’t want.
      • Give yourself permission to dream.
      • Be creative. Consider ideas that you never thought possible.
      • Focus on your wishes, not what others expect of you.

      Some questions to start your exploration:

      • What really matters to you in life? Not what should matter, what does matter.
      • What would you like to have more of in your life?
      • Set aside money for a moment; what do you want in your career?
      • What are your secret passions and dreams?
      • What would bring more joy and happiness into your life?
      • What do you want your relationships to be like?
      • What qualities would you like to develop?
      • What are your values? What issues do you care about?
      • What are your talents? What’s special about you?
      • What would you most like to accomplish?
      • What would legacy would you like to leave behind?

      It may be helpful to write your thoughts down in a journal or creative vision board if you’re the creative type. Add your own questions, and ask others what they want out of life. Relax and make this exercise fun. You may want to set your answers aside for a while and come back to them later to see if any have changed or if you have anything to add.

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      What Would Your Best Life Look Like?

      Describe your ideal life in detail. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, and create a vivid picture. If you can’t visualize a picture, focus on how your best life would feel. If you find it difficult to envision your life 20 or 30 years from now, start with five years—even a few years into the future will give you a place to start. What you see may surprise you. Set aside preconceived notions. This is your chance to dream and fantasize.

      A few prompts to get you started:

      • What will you have accomplished already?
      • How will you feel about yourself?
      • What kind of people are in your life? How do you feel about them?
      • What does your ideal day look like?
      • Where are you? Where do you live? Think specifics, what city, state, or country, type of community, house or an apartment, style and atmosphere.
      • What would you be doing?
      • Are you with another person, a group of people, or are you by yourself?
      • How are you dressed?
      • What’s your state of mind? Happy or sad? Contented or frustrated?
      • What does your physical body look like? How do you feel about that?
      • Does your best life make you smile and make your heart sing? If it doesn’t, dig deeper, dream bigger.

      It’s important to focus on the result, or at least a way-point in your life. Don’t think about the process for getting there yet—that’s the next stepGive yourself permission to revisit this vision every day, even if only for a few minutes. Keep your vision alive and in the front of your mind.

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      Plan Backwards

      It may sound counter-intuitive to plan backwards rather than forwards, but when you’re planning your life from the end result, it’s often more useful to consider the last step and work your way back to the first. This is actually a valuable and practical strategy for making your vision a reality.

      • What’s the last thing that would’ve had to happen to achieve your best life?
      • What’s the most important choice you would’ve had to make?
      • What would you have needed to learn along the way?
      • What important actions would you have had to take?
      • What beliefs would you have needed to change?
      • What habits or behaviors would you have had to cultivate?
      • What type of support would you have had to enlist?
      • How long will it have taken you to realize your best life?
      • What steps or milestones would you have needed to reach along the way?

      Now it’s time to think about your first step, and the next step after that. Ponder the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It may seem impossible, but it’s quite achievable if you take it step-by-step.

      It’s important to revisit this vision from time to time. Don’t be surprised if your answers to the questions, your technicolor vision, and the resulting plans change. That can actually be a very good thing; as you change in unforeseeable ways, the best life you envision will change as well. For now, it’s important to use the process, create your vision, and take the first step towards making that vision a reality.

      Featured photo credit: Matt Noble via unsplash.com

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