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5 Reasons Why Quitting Makes You a Winner

5 Reasons Why Quitting Makes You a Winner


    You’re not supposed to quit. Ever.

    At least, that’s what we’ve been told. But there are times that not quitting results in your life being stymied, stressful, and unfulfilling.

    So let’s get right into it. Quitting can make you a winner by:

    1. Allowing you to move forward in your life.

    Are you hanging on to old goals that aren’t relevant to you anymore? Or, digging a little deeper, are they someone else’s goals for you?

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    If you find yourself dragging your feet and staying stuck in the same place, maybe you need to quit holding on to those old ambitions that don’t fit you anymore – or never fit you.

    Clinging tightly to the familiar only holds you back.

    2. Reducing stress and creating more time for you.

    Did you know that the Latin origin of the word quit meant “calm, resting”? The negative connotation of being a quitter only came into our vernacular seven centuries later in the 1800’s. Are there things you want to quit but can’t bring yourself to say no? How about being on that board for your friend’s non-profit? She said it would only take a little time, but now you’re on three different committees. What about volunteering three days a week at your child’s school rather than one because none of the other parents would pick up the slack?

    It’s time to quit.

    Yes, you may have to face your fear and learn to say no, but the rewards in your physical and emotional health will far outweigh your initial discomfort.

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    3. Creating more emotional and energetic space for you.

    Have you ever seen the show Hoarders? People with this disorder pile junk and garbage up in their houses until there is barely room to walk, let alone eat or sleep. Are you an emotional hoarder? Do you collect your negative emotions and the emotional baggage of other people and won’t let go of them? Perhaps all of those thoughts and feelings have created a pile of toxic energy inside you.

    Maybe it’s time to quit.

    You’re human so you’re always going to have negative emotions. But quit hanging on to them. Learn to create positive emotions through positive action and let go of the negative energy. And let other people have their own emotional journeys. You don’t need to take on the mood, feelings, or problems of your spouse, family member, or close friend.

    Clean out your cluttered emotional house and notice how much more energetic space you have left for yourself.

    4. Creating new opportunities for you.

    In 1934, a seventeen-year-old girl was about to take the stage at the famed Apollo Theater in Harlem for their amateur talent show. She was going to do a dance routine but became intimidated by a dance team that went before her. Suddenly, right before she went on, she made a decision. She decided to quit her long-held plan to dance. She went up to the stage manager, tugged at his sleeve and said:

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    “Mister, I’m going to sing instead of dance.”

    The young woman’s name was Ella Fitzgerald. She won that show (and $25) and went on to a legendary career as a jazz singer.

    What opportunities might open up for you if you quit something dear to you? Something that you loved but has run its course?

    Nilofer Merchant was an entrepreneur who had built a successful consulting business but, after eleven years, realized her passion for her job had dwindled to nothing. She quit her business. And opportunity after opportunity arose for her, many of which re-ignited her entrepreneurial fire.

    Is there something you need to quit in order for your passion to be fanned into flame?

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    5. Empowering yourself to be self-compassionate.

    Like most people, you probably have an inner critic that chirps away at you, telling you how bad you are and how much better you could be doing.

    Kristin Neff, author of Self-Compassion and a pioneering researcher in the field of self-compassion, suggests that this inner critic is something that has evolved over time in order to keep us safe and on track. And that we often see it as a way to keep us in line and motivated. The problem is, it is harsh and judgmental and leads you to believe that, although other people are worthy of kindness and compassion, you aren’t.

    Neff’s work has found that people who are self-compassionate are much less likely to be depressed, anxious, and stressed, and are much more likely to be happy, resilient, and optimistic about their future. In short, they have better mental health.

    It’s time to quit fighting with your inner critic and show yourself some compassion.

    Talk to yourself as you would talk with a good friend who was suffering with a problem. Put your hands over your heart and acknowledge that you’re having a rough time. And remember that all of us have flaws and make mistakes. It’s just part of being human.

    What do you need to quit to be a winner in your life?

    (Photo credit: Hand Pushing a Resignation Letter via Shutterstock)

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    Last Updated on January 21, 2020

    The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

    The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

    Creating a vision for your life might seem like a frivolous, fantastical waste of time, but it’s not: creating a compelling vision of the life you want is actually one of the most effective strategies for achieving the life of your dreams. Perhaps the best way to look at the concept of a life vision is as a compass to help guide you to take the best actions and make the right choices that help propel you toward your best life.

    your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have

      Why You Need a Vision

      Experts and life success stories support the idea that with a vision in mind, you are more likely to succeed far beyond what you could otherwise achieve without a clear vision. Think of crafting your life vision as mapping a path to your personal and professional dreams. Life satisfaction and personal happiness are within reach. The harsh reality is that if you don’t develop your own vision, you’ll allow other people and circumstances to direct the course of your life.

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      How to Create Your Life Vision

      Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It will resonate with your values and ideals, and will generate energy and enthusiasm to help strengthen your commitment to explore the possibilities of your life.

      What Do You Want?

      The question sounds deceptively simple, but it’s often the most difficult to answer. Allowing yourself to explore your deepest desires can be very frightening. You may also not think you have the time to consider something as fanciful as what you want out of life, but it’s important to remind yourself that a life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance, but by design.

      It’s helpful to ask some thought-provoking questions to help you discover the possibilities of what you want out of life. Consider every aspect of your life, personal and professional, tangible and intangible. Contemplate all the important areas, family and friends, career and success, health and quality of life, spiritual connection and personal growth, and don’t forget about fun and enjoyment.

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      Some tips to guide you:

      • Remember to ask why you want certain things
      • Think about what you want, not on what you don’t want.
      • Give yourself permission to dream.
      • Be creative. Consider ideas that you never thought possible.
      • Focus on your wishes, not what others expect of you.

      Some questions to start your exploration:

      • What really matters to you in life? Not what should matter, what does matter.
      • What would you like to have more of in your life?
      • Set aside money for a moment; what do you want in your career?
      • What are your secret passions and dreams?
      • What would bring more joy and happiness into your life?
      • What do you want your relationships to be like?
      • What qualities would you like to develop?
      • What are your values? What issues do you care about?
      • What are your talents? What’s special about you?
      • What would you most like to accomplish?
      • What would legacy would you like to leave behind?

      It may be helpful to write your thoughts down in a journal or creative vision board if you’re the creative type. Add your own questions, and ask others what they want out of life. Relax and make this exercise fun. You may want to set your answers aside for a while and come back to them later to see if any have changed or if you have anything to add.

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      What Would Your Best Life Look Like?

      Describe your ideal life in detail. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, and create a vivid picture. If you can’t visualize a picture, focus on how your best life would feel. If you find it difficult to envision your life 20 or 30 years from now, start with five years—even a few years into the future will give you a place to start. What you see may surprise you. Set aside preconceived notions. This is your chance to dream and fantasize.

      A few prompts to get you started:

      • What will you have accomplished already?
      • How will you feel about yourself?
      • What kind of people are in your life? How do you feel about them?
      • What does your ideal day look like?
      • Where are you? Where do you live? Think specifics, what city, state, or country, type of community, house or an apartment, style and atmosphere.
      • What would you be doing?
      • Are you with another person, a group of people, or are you by yourself?
      • How are you dressed?
      • What’s your state of mind? Happy or sad? Contented or frustrated?
      • What does your physical body look like? How do you feel about that?
      • Does your best life make you smile and make your heart sing? If it doesn’t, dig deeper, dream bigger.

      It’s important to focus on the result, or at least a way-point in your life. Don’t think about the process for getting there yet—that’s the next stepGive yourself permission to revisit this vision every day, even if only for a few minutes. Keep your vision alive and in the front of your mind.

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      Plan Backwards

      It may sound counter-intuitive to plan backwards rather than forwards, but when you’re planning your life from the end result, it’s often more useful to consider the last step and work your way back to the first. This is actually a valuable and practical strategy for making your vision a reality.

      • What’s the last thing that would’ve had to happen to achieve your best life?
      • What’s the most important choice you would’ve had to make?
      • What would you have needed to learn along the way?
      • What important actions would you have had to take?
      • What beliefs would you have needed to change?
      • What habits or behaviors would you have had to cultivate?
      • What type of support would you have had to enlist?
      • How long will it have taken you to realize your best life?
      • What steps or milestones would you have needed to reach along the way?

      Now it’s time to think about your first step, and the next step after that. Ponder the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It may seem impossible, but it’s quite achievable if you take it step-by-step.

      It’s important to revisit this vision from time to time. Don’t be surprised if your answers to the questions, your technicolor vision, and the resulting plans change. That can actually be a very good thing; as you change in unforeseeable ways, the best life you envision will change as well. For now, it’s important to use the process, create your vision, and take the first step towards making that vision a reality.

      Featured photo credit: Matt Noble via unsplash.com

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