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5 Fitness Mistakes That Are Holding You Back

5 Fitness Mistakes That Are Holding You Back

Trying to live a healthier lifestyle and getting fit is a long process, especially if you’re not a very active person to begin with. Sometimes you hit a point where you just want to quit because you haven’t gotten the results you wanted yet, or because it seems like nothing is working. Looking back at some of the mistakes I’ve made in the past that have hindered my progress towards a healthy lifestyle, I can pinpoint exact issues or problems I had that were holding me back. There’s a good chance that you too have made at least one or more of these mistakes, but you probably didn’t realize how much they were holding you back.

With that said, here are 5 fitness mistakes that may be holding you back and stopping you from getting the results you want.

1: Spending Too Much Money

Loading up on all the latest gadgets, equipment, and workout apparel you can find won’t help you lose weight or get fit any more quickly. In fact, the only thing that will be getting lighter is you wallet. A few late night infomercials and that new Ab Blaster 3000 starts to look like the solution to all your fitness problems. Seeing ripped fitness models using that great new equipment might give you some temporary motivation but after you’ve bought the Iron Gym, Perfect Pushup, and whatever else is the newest craze, and you haven’t actually used any of it, you’ll start to realize it was just a waste.

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Instead of buying more and more equipment, focus on just using whatever resources you already have available. All you have to do is start putting in the work and the results will come.

2: Over-Planning

Planning ahead and scheduling is great, but when something throws your schedule off it can ruin your entire journey. Don’t stress over being exact and getting everything down to the tee so much. I think having a schedule as far as what areas you want to focus on is great, but breaking it down to the exact exercise you want to do and limiting yourself to just those is over-planning. Get a general idea going and then go with what feels natural.

Let’s say you have a schedule of going to the gym Monday-Friday. You create the schedule down to the hour of when you’re going to go, but something comes up on Monday and you have to go a little later than you planned. So you miss that day and say you’ll just go Tuesday morning. But then you don’t wake up on time and end up missing that workout. Before you know it, it’s Friday and you haven’t been to the gym once. This is the damage that over-planning can do and why you should try to avoid it.

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3: Socializing Too Much At the Gym

The gym is not a nightclub or a hang-out spot. You should be going to the gym with one thing on your mind, so give it all you have. Standing around socializing will severely hold you back in your fitness journey. Going to the gym with a friend is a great way to keep you motivated and get you through the workout, but you shouldn’t be spending more  time talking than working.

If you leave the gym without a drop of sweat on you but you somehow managed to plan out your entire weekend while you were there, you’re socializing way too much. A great tip to avoid this is to wear headphones while you’re there to keep your mind on your workout and block out everything else.

4: Being Inconsistent

Consistency is key when you’re trying to get fit, and working out one week but going M.I.A the next is one of the biggest mistakes you can make. You have to get some sort of consistency going in order to make sure you get great results and don’t end up giving up. The longer you go without working out, the less likely you will be to return.

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This is probably one of the reasons I like the idea of paying for a gym membership so much—you’re much more motivated to consistently go to the gym if you’re paying for it. Otherwise it’s like you’re throwing money away each month. Once you start going regularly, you’ll start to feel weird when you miss a day. That’s because you’ve made the gym a part of your regular routine and you almost need to go in order to function properly.

5: Being Too Scared

Fear is probably one of the biggest things holding you back. You might be scared of:

  • Being judged
  • Giving up
  • Failing
  • Not getting the results you want quick enough

You have to overcome these fears if you ever want to reach your full fitness potential. You have to keep your eyes on the prize and just keep working. Fear not only stops you from going to the gym, but  it can also prevent you from giving it your all while you’re there.

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What’s stopping you from getting the body you want?

 

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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