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3 Highly Effective Ways to Become Happy, Awake, Fulfilled and Free

3 Highly Effective Ways to Become Happy, Awake, Fulfilled and Free

Does the journey you’re on define you? Or, do you define the journey?

I think it varies depending on the person. Some of us conform and follow the status quo, while others make the decision to write their own script; they choose to look at life without limits. The only difference between these two groups of people is the second group made a conscious choice to take action on their passions and dreams.

Introducing a new way of looking at the journey and the pursuit we’re all on:

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H.A.F.F.

I like to refer to this process, which has been given many names (lifestyle design, live on your own terms, paid to exist, find your passion, follow your dreams, etc.), as H.A.F.F.—the process of becoming happy, awake, fulfilled, and free. Each has a very specific meaning and place in putting together a strategy for your vision of the future.

  • Happy means to live your life on your terms; to have passion for your life and the work you do in it; to find joy in the moments and the clarity in your struggles.
  • Awake is becoming aware that dreams can actually come true, and aren’t just for the highly talented and prestigious. It’s about opening your eyes and discovering your true potential and deepest desires.
  • Fulfilled is something you will become on your journey. There will come a time when you understand the true meaning of your life and place in it; when everything comes together and you realize your place in the world and how you can use it to make a difference and discover the true power of giving.
  • Free means what I can only describe as having true freedom in all aspects of life; having the ability to use your knowledge and expertise to create a life where you can become financially free and live life on your own terms.

This may resonate with you and it may not. The important thing to remember is that your path will look different from mine. That’s a good thing—you will come up with your own definitions. What makes me H.A.F.F. is knowing that the vision I see for my future is one of constant possibilities for progressing and moving forward in both my life and my journey to make the world a better place.

Here are three highly effective techniques to becoming your definition of happy, awake, fulfilled, and free:

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1. Change your Perception

If you want to start the process of becoming H.A.F.F., you need to start putting yourself in a frame of mind which allows you to look at life from an optimistic point of view. You need to be open to the idea that anything is possible, and you need to change anything negative in your life into a positive. Changing your perception of how you see your life can prove to be difficult, especially if there are a lot of negative factors in your life. So how do you do it?

  • Put yourself in an environment that inspires you to believe.
  • Surround yourself with positive people who also believe that anything is possible.
  • Read books and articles that inspire change

2. Discover your Purpose

The difference between people who are fully immersed in becoming happy, awake, fulfilled, and free, and those who live a life of suffering, negativity, mediocrity, regret, etc., is that the first group has taken action on changing their mindset to pursue something greater than themselves. We all have a deep need to be loved and to matter.

Those of us who are on the path of changing our circumstances and going against the status quo come to understand that the path brings positive change for ourselves, but more importantly, it helps us realize the importance of helping others who are on the same path. There is a far greater reward: having a purpose greater than yourself. Doing so includes using your knowledge and experience of what you’ve learned on your journey to make a difference in the lives of others, and in the world. Only then can truly start your journey to becoming happy, awake, fulfilled, and free.

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Below are some techniques that can make the transformation from egoism to altruism more acceptable. Seeing as how we are egoistic in nature, you need to change your focus to the others in your environment.

  • Build stronger relationships– Give the people who are closest to you your full, conscious attention. We are social beings and need the connections with others to push us, move us, inspire us, and help us when we need them. Give yourself to your environment and you will receive an abundance of happiness and fulfillment, just by knowing you matter to those around you.
  • Connect– Connecting with the people who are in the environment you want to be in is one of the most powerful actions you can take to find and live with purpose and meaning. Make connections by being yourself, and approach others as if they were potential friends.
  • Care– If you want to be able to get a sense of what it really means to have a purpose, then you should genuinely care about people; have genuine interest and care for others. We are an interconnected global world, all emotional beings, and all a part of the same system. The time has come to quit hiding ourselves from the world and surround ourselves with hope, inspiration, and love.

3. Follow your Dreams

On your journey, you will also discover the rewards and benefits of living life the way you want to, on your own terms, and the power that comes with doing something that matters.

*Warning: Following these three techniques takes an incredible amount of desire, inspiration, motivation, and the willingness to help others. Be prepared to have your life changed.

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  • Reason– You need a reason to believe that what you want for your life is possible. Having a reason, a purpose for your life, helps you build the desire, and gives you the passion needed to start.
  • Action- You know, most people have strong desires, passions, ideas, and dreams for the future, and those who act on those desires are already moving closer to what drives them. All you have to do is start. Like my five year old daughter told me last week, “You don’t have to do it all at once daddy. You just take it one step at a time”.
  • Effort- Your desires and passions will be the catapult to your effort. The larger your vision for the future, the more immense the amount of effort needed to reach your goals. That’s why it’s so critical to have a purpose and the right mindset for it.

 

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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