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How Doing These Simple Things Can Keep You From Being A Bad Father

How Doing These Simple Things Can Keep You From Being A Bad Father

Fatherhood is one of those special moments that men tend to cherish but never fully realize the effect that they have on their children. Experiencing the loss of my father when I was twelve years old, I was forever grateful to spend these moments with my father and hopefully these tips will help other fathers love and enjoy their children even more.

1. Love Shines Over All.

Share love with your children. Showing them love lets them know how to treat others, especially in their future relationships when they get older.  Daughters will tend to look for qualities in their partners that remind them of their father and boys will take a father’s loving behavior as an example on how to treat their wife and children.

2. Never Overestimate Spending Time with Your Children.

Children remember the moments that they spent hanging out with their dad. It is one of those things that you never forget and a memory you cherish for a lifetime.  So when you can, as often as you can, hang out with your kids.

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3. Make an Effort to go to Your Child’s Events.

Remember when you were a child and you had that sparkle in your eyes when your parents came to your events? Do yourself, and more importantly, your children, a favor by attending their school events as much as possible, no matter how trivial it seems.  It means the world to your child and speaks volumes on how much you care about them.

4. Include Your Child in your Favorite Activities.

A father can share a world of information by just including their child with them and you may learn more about each other than you ever thought. Take your child with you on the golf course on Saturday or take them to your band practice. Not only spend time are you spending fun, quality time with your children, but they also feel extra special that you chose to enjoy and share the things that you like with them.

5. Talk to Your Children.

This may sound trivial but think about the last time you actually had a conversation with your child, regardless of their age. Being able to converse about anything from My Little Pony to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to buying a car is very valuable and keeps the lines of communication open. Social media and technology are actually causing a disconnect within society, forcing us to use an iPad instead of talking to each other. So put the gadgets away and spend time learning about their life.  You never now what you will learn from each other.

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6. Bedtime Stories Are the Best

Spending time reading stories together, whether you are in the same house or thousands of miles away, thanks to technology, you can still read a bedtime story to your children.  Reading a story is beneficial to their minds and your parent/child relationship.  It’s a simple act that they will always remember and something they’ll probably do with their children.

7. Show Gratitude Everyday

Children learn from their fathers. Plain and simple. Actions speak louder than words. Be grateful every day for what you have and instill that in your children. It’s a lesson that will keep them from being spoiled as well as help shape a healthy perspective on life.

8. Always Make Time For Play

Yes, we know that fathers have to work but you must always schedule time to relax and goof around with your kids. Spend time with them playing and not worrying about work. Who knows? Your child may be the one giving you the answer to solve your problems.

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9. Treat Others with Respect and Kindness

When you make it a priority to be kind and respectful to others in the community, your children will do the same. You are the first role model a child has; make sure you lead them in the right direction.

10. Smile More

Children love sharing joy and happiness. When you show your children that you are content and genuinely happy, your children will adopt the same attitude and get into the habit of seeing the bright side of life in every situation.

11. Lead a Life of Intention

Being a role model as a father means that you must be encouraging children to do what they love in life and see life as a canvas to paint your own destiny.  The best way to impart this lesson is to live your life with intention and to pursue your ‘bliss.’

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12. Say “I Love You”

Even if children think they are too old to hear “I love you,” it will ring in their ears and will be something they will never forget. Love wins and when you continuously express it to those you love, they will always do the same.

Fathers are important to every child and make a lasting impression that no one else can replace. You are worth more in a child’s eye than you can ever imagine. By sharing love, happiness, and spending quality time with your child, you are making a positive and lasting impact that they will carry with them throughout their lives.

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Last Updated on February 25, 2020

Face Adversity with a Smile

Face Adversity with a Smile

I told my friend Graham that I often cycle the two miles from my house to the town centre but unfortunately there is a big hill on the route. He replied, ‘You mean fortunately.’ He explained that I should be glad of the extra exercise that the hill provided.

My attitude to the hill has now changed. I used to grumble as I approached it but now I tell myself the following. This hill will exercise my heart and lungs. It will help me to lose weight and get fit. It will mean that I live longer. This hill is my friend. Finally as I wend my way up the incline I console myself with the thought of all those silly people who pay money to go to a gym and sit on stationery exercise bicycles when I can get the same value for free. I have a smug smile of satisfaction as I reach the top of the hill.

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Problems are there to be faced and overcome. We cannot achieve anything with an easy life. Helen Keller was the first deaf and blind person to gain a University degree. Her activism and writing proved inspirational. She wrote, “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

One of the main determinants of success in life is our attitude towards adversity. From time to time we all face hardships, problems, accidents, afflictions and difficulties. Some are of our making but many confront us through no fault of our own. Whilst we cannot choose the adversity we can choose our attitude towards it.

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Douglas Bader was 21 when in 1931 he had both legs amputated following a flying accident. He was determined to fly again and went on to become one of the leading flying aces in the Battle of Britain with 22 aerial victories over the Germans. He was an inspiration to others during the war. He said, “Don’t listen to anyone who tells you that you can’t do this or that. That’s nonsense. Make up your mind, you’ll never use crutches or a stick, then have a go at everything. Go to school, join in all the games you can. Go anywhere you want to. But never, never let them persuade you that things are too difficult or impossible.”

How can you change your attitude towards the adversity that you face? Try these steps:

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  1. Confront the problem. Do not avoid it.
  2. Deliberately take a positive attitude and write down some benefits or advantages of the situation.
  3. Visualise how you will feel when you overcome this obstacle.
  4. Develop an action plan for how to tackle it.
  5. Smile and get cracking.

The biographies of great people are littered with examples of how they took these kinds of steps to overcome the difficulties they faced. The common thread is that they did not become defeatist or depressed. They chose their attitude. They opted to be positive. They took on the challenge. They won.

Featured photo credit: Jamie Brown via unsplash.com

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