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How Doing These Simple Things Can Keep You From Being A Bad Father

How Doing These Simple Things Can Keep You From Being A Bad Father

Fatherhood is one of those special moments that men tend to cherish but never fully realize the effect that they have on their children. Experiencing the loss of my father when I was twelve years old, I was forever grateful to spend these moments with my father and hopefully these tips will help other fathers love and enjoy their children even more.

1. Love Shines Over All.

Share love with your children. Showing them love lets them know how to treat others, especially in their future relationships when they get older.  Daughters will tend to look for qualities in their partners that remind them of their father and boys will take a father’s loving behavior as an example on how to treat their wife and children.

2. Never Overestimate Spending Time with Your Children.

Children remember the moments that they spent hanging out with their dad. It is one of those things that you never forget and a memory you cherish for a lifetime.  So when you can, as often as you can, hang out with your kids.

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3. Make an Effort to go to Your Child’s Events.

Remember when you were a child and you had that sparkle in your eyes when your parents came to your events? Do yourself, and more importantly, your children, a favor by attending their school events as much as possible, no matter how trivial it seems.  It means the world to your child and speaks volumes on how much you care about them.

4. Include Your Child in your Favorite Activities.

A father can share a world of information by just including their child with them and you may learn more about each other than you ever thought. Take your child with you on the golf course on Saturday or take them to your band practice. Not only spend time are you spending fun, quality time with your children, but they also feel extra special that you chose to enjoy and share the things that you like with them.

5. Talk to Your Children.

This may sound trivial but think about the last time you actually had a conversation with your child, regardless of their age. Being able to converse about anything from My Little Pony to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to buying a car is very valuable and keeps the lines of communication open. Social media and technology are actually causing a disconnect within society, forcing us to use an iPad instead of talking to each other. So put the gadgets away and spend time learning about their life.  You never now what you will learn from each other.

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6. Bedtime Stories Are the Best

Spending time reading stories together, whether you are in the same house or thousands of miles away, thanks to technology, you can still read a bedtime story to your children.  Reading a story is beneficial to their minds and your parent/child relationship.  It’s a simple act that they will always remember and something they’ll probably do with their children.

7. Show Gratitude Everyday

Children learn from their fathers. Plain and simple. Actions speak louder than words. Be grateful every day for what you have and instill that in your children. It’s a lesson that will keep them from being spoiled as well as help shape a healthy perspective on life.

8. Always Make Time For Play

Yes, we know that fathers have to work but you must always schedule time to relax and goof around with your kids. Spend time with them playing and not worrying about work. Who knows? Your child may be the one giving you the answer to solve your problems.

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9. Treat Others with Respect and Kindness

When you make it a priority to be kind and respectful to others in the community, your children will do the same. You are the first role model a child has; make sure you lead them in the right direction.

10. Smile More

Children love sharing joy and happiness. When you show your children that you are content and genuinely happy, your children will adopt the same attitude and get into the habit of seeing the bright side of life in every situation.

11. Lead a Life of Intention

Being a role model as a father means that you must be encouraging children to do what they love in life and see life as a canvas to paint your own destiny.  The best way to impart this lesson is to live your life with intention and to pursue your ‘bliss.’

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12. Say “I Love You”

Even if children think they are too old to hear “I love you,” it will ring in their ears and will be something they will never forget. Love wins and when you continuously express it to those you love, they will always do the same.

Fathers are important to every child and make a lasting impression that no one else can replace. You are worth more in a child’s eye than you can ever imagine. By sharing love, happiness, and spending quality time with your child, you are making a positive and lasting impact that they will carry with them throughout their lives.

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Last Updated on October 20, 2020

How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

You have a deadline looming. However, instead of doing your work, you are fiddling with miscellaneous things like checking email, social media, watching videos, surfing blogs and forums. You know you should be working, but you just don’t feel like doing anything.

We are all familiar with the procrastination phenomenon. When we procrastinate, we squander away our free time and put off important tasks we should be doing them till it’s too late. And when it is indeed too late, we panic and wish we got started earlier.

The chronic procrastinators I know have spent years of their life looped in this cycle. Delaying, putting off things, slacking, hiding from work, facing work only when it’s unavoidable, then repeating this loop all over again. It’s a bad habit that eats us away and prevents us from achieving greater results in life.

Don’t let procrastination take over your life. Here, I will share my personal steps on how to stop procrastinating. These 11 steps will definitely apply to you too:

1. Break Your Work into Little Steps

Part of the reason why we procrastinate is because subconsciously, we find the work too overwhelming for us. Break it down into little parts, then focus on one part at the time. If you still procrastinate on the task after breaking it down, then break it down even further. Soon, your task will be so simple that you will be thinking “gee, this is so simple that I might as well just do it now!”.

For example, I’m currently writing a new book (on How to achieve anything in life). Book writing at its full scale is an enormous project and can be overwhelming. However, when I break it down into phases such as –

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  • (1) Research
  • (2) Deciding the topic
  • (3) Creating the outline
  • (4) Drafting the content
  • (5) Writing Chapters #1 to #10,
  • (6) Revision
  • (7) etc.

Suddenly it seems very manageable. What I do then is to focus on the immediate phase and get it done to my best ability, without thinking about the other phases. When it’s done, I move on to the next.

2. Change Your Environment

Different environments have different impact on our productivity. Look at your work desk and your room. Do they make you want to work or do they make you want to snuggle and sleep? If it’s the latter, you should look into changing your workspace.

One thing to note is that an environment that makes us feel inspired before may lose its effect after a period of time. If that’s the case, then it’s time to change things around. Refer to Steps #2 and #3 of 13 Strategies To Jumpstart Your Productivity, which talks about revamping your environment and workspace.

3. Create a Detailed Timeline with Specific Deadlines

Having just 1 deadline for your work is like an invitation to procrastinate. That’s because we get the impression that we have time and keep pushing everything back, until it’s too late.

Break down your project (see tip #1), then create an overall timeline with specific deadlines for each small task. This way, you know you have to finish each task by a certain date. Your timelines must be robust, too – i.e. if you don’t finish this by today, it’s going to jeopardize everything else you have planned after that. This way it creates the urgency to act.

My goals are broken down into monthly, weekly, right down to the daily task lists, and the list is a call to action that I must accomplish this by the specified date, else my goals will be put off.

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Here’re more tips on setting deadlines: 22 Tips for Effective Deadlines

4. Eliminate Your Procrastination Pit-Stops

If you are procrastinating a little too much, maybe that’s because you make it easy to procrastinate.

Identify your browser bookmarks that take up a lot of your time and shift them into a separate folder that is less accessible. Disable the automatic notification option in your email client. Get rid of the distractions around you.

I know some people will out of the way and delete or deactivate their facebook accounts. I think it’s a little drastic and extreme as addressing procrastination is more about being conscious of our actions than counteracting via self-binding methods, but if you feel that’s what’s needed, go for it.

5. Hang out with People Who Inspire You to Take Action

I’m pretty sure if you spend just 10 minutes talking to Steve Jobs or Bill Gates, you’ll be more inspired to act than if you spent the 10 minutes doing nothing. The people we are with influence our behaviors. Of course spending time with Steve Jobs or Bill Gates every day is probably not a feasible method, but the principle applies — The Hidden Power of Every Single Person Around You

Identify the people, friends or colleagues who trigger you – most likely the go-getters and hard workers – and hang out with them more often. Soon you will inculcate their drive and spirit too.

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As a personal development blogger, I “hang out” with inspiring personal development experts by reading their blogs and corresponding with them regularly via email and social media. It’s communication via new media and it works all the same.

6. Get a Buddy

Having a companion makes the whole process much more fun. Ideally, your buddy should be someone who has his/her own set of goals. Both of you will hold each other accountable to your goals and plans. While it’s not necessary for both of you to have the same goals, it’ll be even better if that’s the case, so you can learn from each other.

I have a good friend whom I talk to regularly, and we always ask each other about our goals and progress in achieving those goals. Needless to say, it spurs us to keep taking action.

7. Tell Others About Your Goals

This serves the same function as #6, on a larger scale. Tell all your friends, colleagues, acquaintances and family about your projects. Now whenever you see them, they are bound to ask you about your status on those projects.

For example, sometimes I announce my projects on The Personal Excellence Blog, Twitter and Facebook, and my readers will ask me about them on an ongoing basis. It’s a great way to keep myself accountable to my plans.

8. Seek out Someone Who Has Already Achieved the Outcome

What is it you want to accomplish here, and who are the people who have accomplished this already? Go seek them out and connect with them. Seeing living proof that your goals are very well achievable if you take action is one of the best triggers for action.

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9. Re-Clarify Your Goals

If you have been procrastinating for an extended period of time, it might reflect a misalignment between what you want and what you are currently doing. Often times, we outgrow our goals as we discover more about ourselves, but we don’t change our goals to reflect that.

Get away from your work (a short vacation will be good, else just a weekend break or staycation will do too) and take some time to regroup yourself. What exactly do you want to achieve? What should you do to get there? What are the steps to take? Does your current work align with that? If not, what can you do about it?

10. Stop Over-Complicating Things

Are you waiting for a perfect time to do this? That maybe now is not the best time because of X, Y, Z reasons? Ditch that thought because there’s never a perfect time. If you keep waiting for one, you are never going to accomplish anything.

Perfectionism is one of the biggest reasons for procrastination. Read more about why perfectionist tendencies can be a bane than a boon: Why Being A Perfectionist May Not Be So Perfect.

11. Get a Grip and Just Do It

At the end, it boils down to taking action. You can do all the strategizing, planning and hypothesizing, but if you don’t take action, nothing’s going to happen. Occasionally, I get readers and clients who keep complaining about their situations but they still refuse to take action at the end of the day.

Reality check:

I have never heard anyone procrastinate their way to success before and I doubt it’s going to change in the near future. Whatever it is you are procrastinating on, if you want to get it done, you need to get a grip on yourself and do it.

Bonus: Think Like a Rhino

More Tips for Procrastinators to Start Taking Action

Featured photo credit: Malvestida Magazine via unsplash.com

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