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12 Personality Types to Avoid to Make 2009 Your Best Year

12 Personality Types to Avoid to Make 2009 Your Best Year

Masks

    Forever Results

    When it comes to creating life-long positive change in our world (that is, “forever results”), most people won’t and don’t – despite their constant attempts to re-invent themselves and ample access to an ever-increasing range of information, inspiration, resources, specialists, and facilities to help them through the change process. That’s not to say that they can’t transform themselves or don’t have the potential for greatness and forever results, it just means that typically, they won’t do it. And no, that’s not some negative spin, it’s a realistic snapshot of people’s mindset, behaviours and results over the long term.

    Just take a look around. Most people know what to do, but for a range of reasons, don’t do what they know. Not consistently anyway. Great at starting, crap at getting the job done. Most people who get motivated, lose focus. Most people who lose weight, regain it. Most people who get fit, get unfit. Most people who make a New Year’s resolution have thrown in the towel by about now and most people who give up that bad habit have done it twenty times before. Which means they’ve never really done it at all; they’ve just taken a temporary break.

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      Friends of Yours?

      Here’s a group of people that will continue to under-achieve and waste their time and talent unless they change their thinking and their behaviour. For good. I’ve worked with all of them at some stage. You might know some of them. You may even be some of them.

      1. The Over-Thinker. We’ve all read about the Over-Thinker here at me-dot-com. She makes a regular appearance. She over-thinks, under-does and typically dies from analysis paralysis. She often has a facial expression which is a mix of constipation, confusion, desperation, exhaustion and fear. She will periodically have smoke coming from her ears and can often be seen talking to herself. Sometimes audibly. She may have a twitch. Her over-thinking will affect her physical health and reduce her lifespan by ten years. Or so.

      2. The Procrastinator. The Procrastinator is always about to start something. If only he would. He is a world champion when it comes to almost doing things. Sadly, he will die waiting for the mythical right time.

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      3. The Rationaliser. The Rationaliser is first cousin of the Excuse Maker. They spend a lot of time together and as a result, look and sound very similar. The Rationaliser has an amazing ability to justify and explain her pathetic behaviour and consistently poor results. She is both delusional and entertaining.

      4. The Reactor. The Reactor does just that; react. And usually badly.

      5. The Defender. The defender will defend his actions, behaviours, results and mistakes, no matter what. He is arrogant, annoyingly self-righteous and a first cousin to the Blamer. He is an expert at responsibility transferal and shifting focus. He has the social appeal of herpes.

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      6. The BSer. Never one to let the facts get in the way of a good story, the BSer can be found in the workplace, the home, the sporting club, the gym and of course, where ever politicians hang out. Every family has at least one BSer and while they can be somewhat amusing, they also prove to be tiresome and annoying; especially when alcohol is thrown into the mix. For some unknown reason, a disproportionate number of fathers over the age of fifty have a PhD. in BS. This phenomenon is still being investigated. In some cultures the BSer is also known as the Wanker.

      7. The Dreamer. It’s great to dream but not when that’s all you do. In order to produce positive and lasting change in our world we need to attach our dream to an action plan, wrap it in some logic and then turn it into a reality with some sweat, discipline, courage and commitment. Most dreamers have at least one tie-dye T-shirt in their wardrobe.

      8. The Reminiscer. Aaaah, those were the days. The Reminiscer is always reminding anyone stupid enough to listen about her historical exploits and achievements. How amazing she once was. And curiously, the older she gets, the better she was. If only the Reminiscer would pull her deluded head out of her (largely fictitious) past and invest some talent and energy into the ‘now’, she might just turn her sad life around. And stop annoying the rest of us.

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      9. The Genius. The Genius is insecure, loves to be heard, and is compelled to demonstrate his intellectual and academic superiority as often as possible. Ironically, he’s usually not that smart. While he may possess a moderate level of academic intelligence, he typically demonstrates zero emotional intelligence, has no social awareness to speak of, and will take every opportunity to re-direct any conversation back to himself.

      10. The Complicator. The Complicator has a gift for making the easy, hard. If there’s a long way around, she’ll find it. With her, the most simple task can become a major drama and a sixty second chat can easily be turned into a sixty minute hair-pulling exercise in frustration and confusion.

      11. The Victim. The Victim is incredibly misunderstood. In his mind anyway. He sees himself as something of a martyr when in reality, he is a self-centred, attention seeking tool who wants sympathy not solutions. He is exhausting to be around and makes the BSer seem almost appealing.

      Yes, I was going to add one more but I thought I might leave number twelve up to you. Feel free to complete my list, share a comment or tell us about an experience.

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      Craig Harper

      Leading presenter, writer and educator in the areas of high-performance, self-management, personal transformation and more

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      Last Updated on January 21, 2020

      The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

      The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

      Creating a vision for your life might seem like a frivolous, fantastical waste of time, but it’s not: creating a compelling vision of the life you want is actually one of the most effective strategies for achieving the life of your dreams. Perhaps the best way to look at the concept of a life vision is as a compass to help guide you to take the best actions and make the right choices that help propel you toward your best life.

      your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have

        Why You Need a Vision

        Experts and life success stories support the idea that with a vision in mind, you are more likely to succeed far beyond what you could otherwise achieve without a clear vision. Think of crafting your life vision as mapping a path to your personal and professional dreams. Life satisfaction and personal happiness are within reach. The harsh reality is that if you don’t develop your own vision, you’ll allow other people and circumstances to direct the course of your life.

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        How to Create Your Life Vision

        Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It will resonate with your values and ideals, and will generate energy and enthusiasm to help strengthen your commitment to explore the possibilities of your life.

        What Do You Want?

        The question sounds deceptively simple, but it’s often the most difficult to answer. Allowing yourself to explore your deepest desires can be very frightening. You may also not think you have the time to consider something as fanciful as what you want out of life, but it’s important to remind yourself that a life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance, but by design.

        It’s helpful to ask some thought-provoking questions to help you discover the possibilities of what you want out of life. Consider every aspect of your life, personal and professional, tangible and intangible. Contemplate all the important areas, family and friends, career and success, health and quality of life, spiritual connection and personal growth, and don’t forget about fun and enjoyment.

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        Some tips to guide you:

        • Remember to ask why you want certain things
        • Think about what you want, not on what you don’t want.
        • Give yourself permission to dream.
        • Be creative. Consider ideas that you never thought possible.
        • Focus on your wishes, not what others expect of you.

        Some questions to start your exploration:

        • What really matters to you in life? Not what should matter, what does matter.
        • What would you like to have more of in your life?
        • Set aside money for a moment; what do you want in your career?
        • What are your secret passions and dreams?
        • What would bring more joy and happiness into your life?
        • What do you want your relationships to be like?
        • What qualities would you like to develop?
        • What are your values? What issues do you care about?
        • What are your talents? What’s special about you?
        • What would you most like to accomplish?
        • What would legacy would you like to leave behind?

        It may be helpful to write your thoughts down in a journal or creative vision board if you’re the creative type. Add your own questions, and ask others what they want out of life. Relax and make this exercise fun. You may want to set your answers aside for a while and come back to them later to see if any have changed or if you have anything to add.

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        What Would Your Best Life Look Like?

        Describe your ideal life in detail. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, and create a vivid picture. If you can’t visualize a picture, focus on how your best life would feel. If you find it difficult to envision your life 20 or 30 years from now, start with five years—even a few years into the future will give you a place to start. What you see may surprise you. Set aside preconceived notions. This is your chance to dream and fantasize.

        A few prompts to get you started:

        • What will you have accomplished already?
        • How will you feel about yourself?
        • What kind of people are in your life? How do you feel about them?
        • What does your ideal day look like?
        • Where are you? Where do you live? Think specifics, what city, state, or country, type of community, house or an apartment, style and atmosphere.
        • What would you be doing?
        • Are you with another person, a group of people, or are you by yourself?
        • How are you dressed?
        • What’s your state of mind? Happy or sad? Contented or frustrated?
        • What does your physical body look like? How do you feel about that?
        • Does your best life make you smile and make your heart sing? If it doesn’t, dig deeper, dream bigger.

        It’s important to focus on the result, or at least a way-point in your life. Don’t think about the process for getting there yet—that’s the next stepGive yourself permission to revisit this vision every day, even if only for a few minutes. Keep your vision alive and in the front of your mind.

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        Plan Backwards

        It may sound counter-intuitive to plan backwards rather than forwards, but when you’re planning your life from the end result, it’s often more useful to consider the last step and work your way back to the first. This is actually a valuable and practical strategy for making your vision a reality.

        • What’s the last thing that would’ve had to happen to achieve your best life?
        • What’s the most important choice you would’ve had to make?
        • What would you have needed to learn along the way?
        • What important actions would you have had to take?
        • What beliefs would you have needed to change?
        • What habits or behaviors would you have had to cultivate?
        • What type of support would you have had to enlist?
        • How long will it have taken you to realize your best life?
        • What steps or milestones would you have needed to reach along the way?

        Now it’s time to think about your first step, and the next step after that. Ponder the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It may seem impossible, but it’s quite achievable if you take it step-by-step.

        It’s important to revisit this vision from time to time. Don’t be surprised if your answers to the questions, your technicolor vision, and the resulting plans change. That can actually be a very good thing; as you change in unforeseeable ways, the best life you envision will change as well. For now, it’s important to use the process, create your vision, and take the first step towards making that vision a reality.

        Featured photo credit: Matt Noble via unsplash.com

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