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Your Second Life

Your Second Life

Note from Chris – No, not the game of the same name

Related to yesterday’s post about process flows, I’ve got a concept that I call My Second Life that I want you to consider. It takes just a little explaining, but then, the idea’s fairly easy to understand, adopt, and modify to your personal needs and schedule.

My life has the following rough time structure:

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6:30AM Wake up.
7:30AM Leave for day job.
5:00PM Leave the day job.
6:30PM Eat supper.
8:30PM Kids finally asleep.
8:30PM – 12:00AM

I call that time between my kids falling asleep and me falling asleep my second life. Some of it, I share with my wife (like last night), and the rest of it I horde into a greedy ball of time I can use to do my not-day-job. (Sorry for all this exposition, but I’m trying to get at something and I need you to all be nodding along before I say it).

My Second Life

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By using process flows, and by working with Google Calendar, I’ve found a way to get a lot of production out of those 3.5 hours I have each night. I built the system to be modular. If I have to reschedule something, I can just shift the flows around to match the new “lay of the land.” But, without the process flows, I’d have nothing. So, here’s a step-by-step to what I’m talking about.

  • Follow the 7 Tips for Google Calendar Planning
  • In Month View, line up your work for certain days, ensuring you have a day off, as well as time for your family.
  • On days you use for your second life, pick the specific process flows you’ve created for those days.
  • Just before executing your flows, schedule 20 minutes (more or less) to do a core dump or sweep or *.GTD term here.
  • Execute the evening’s flows.
  • Over several executions, figure out the actual TIME for those flows, and use that to better calibrate the calendar.
  • Over several executions, learn which parts of the flow should be farmed out to others.
  • Set up a monthly Second Life review to accompany your GTD reviews.

Manager

If you were managing a factory (and I am), you would want to know you’re getting the most out of your workers (you!) in the time alotted to those jobs. You’re the manager of your second life. You can choose to use that time well, or you can choose to fritter it away. When you make choice B, stop complaining about not having time to do GTD.

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The difference between complainers and successful folks is one word: execution. If you have an excuse, that excuse is the issue.

As manager of your second life, you choose what has priority. If you’re creating a new media production company like me, the emphasis right now seems to be taking the raw media and actually packaging it up to create the end product (audio and video podcasts). If you’re trying to write that great book, your emphasis should be in getting more pages. You say creativity can’t be scheduled? I’ve got a large bovine animal’s waste product to show you.

Recap

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  • Work your Calendar.
  • Find your second life work days.
  • Sweep your head.
  • Execute your flows.

Sounds fairly reasonable once you look that over, don’t you agree?

–Chris Brogan writes about self-improvement and creativity at [chrisbrogan.com]. He’s in pre-launch stages on a startup called Grasshopper New Media. He practices what he preaches and is building out the process flows related to everything he’s doing in this second life job of his so that execution and productivity are the key. Join him.

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Last Updated on January 2, 2020

How to Break Out of Your Comfort Zone

How to Break Out of Your Comfort Zone

Over time, we all gather a set of constricting habits around us—ones that trap us in a zone of supposed comfort, well below what our potential would allow us to attain. Pretty soon, such habits slip below the level of our consciousness, but they still determine what we think that we can and cannot do—and what we cannot even bring ourselves to try. As long as you let these habits rule you, you’ll be stuck in a rut.

Like the tiny, soft bodied creatures that build coral reefs, habits start off small and flexible, and end up by building massive barriers of rock all around your mind. Inside the reefs, the water feels quiet and friendly. Outside, you think it’s going to be rough and stormy. There may be sharks. But if you’re to develop in any direction from where you are today, you must go outside that reef of habits that marks the boundaries of your comfort zone. There’s no other way. There’s even nothing specially wrong with those habits as such. They probably worked for you in the past.

But now, it’s time to step over them and go into the wider world of your unused potential. Your fears don’t know what’s going to be out there, so they invent monsters and scary beasts to keep you inside.

Nobody’s born with an instruction manual for life. Despite all the helpful advice from parents, teachers and elders, each of us must make our own way in the world, doing the best we can and quite often getting things wrong.

Messing up a few times isn’t that big a deal. But if you get scared and try to avoid all mistakes by sticking with just a few “tried and true” behaviors, you’ll miss out on most opportunities as well.

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Lots of people who suffer from boredom at work are doing it to themselves. They’re bored and frustrated because that’s what their choices have caused them to be. They’re stuck in ruts they’ve dug for themselves while trying to avoid making mistakes and taking risks. People who never make mistakes never make anything else either.

It’s time to pin down the habits that have become unconscious and are running your life for you, and get rid of them. Here’s how to do it:

1. Understand the Truth about Your Habits

They always represent past successes. You have formed habitual, automatic behaviors because you once dealt with something successfully, tried the same response next time, and found it worked again. That’s how habits grow and why they feel so useful.

To get away from what’s causing your unhappiness and workplace blues, you must give up on many of your most fondly held (and formerly successful) habits. and try new ways of thinking and acting. There truly isn’t any alternative. Those habits are going to block you from finding new and creative ideas. No new ideas, no learning. No learning, no access to successful change.

2. Do Something—Almost Anything—Differently and See What Happens

Even the most successful habits eventually lose their usefulness as events change the world and fresh responses are called for. Yet we cling on to them long after their benefit has gone.

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Past strategies are bound to fail sometime. Letting them become automatic habits that take the controls is a sure road to self-inflicted harm.

3. Take Some Time out and Have a Detailed Look at Yourself—With No Holds Barred

Discovering your unconscious habits can be tough. For a start, they’re unconscious, right? Then they fight back.

Ask anyone who has ever given up smoking if habits are tough to break. You’ve got used to them—and they’re at least as addictive as nicotine or crack cocaine.

4. Be Who You Are

It’s easy to assume that you always have to fit in to get on in the world; that you must conform to be liked and respected by others or face exclusion. Because most people want to please, they try to become what they believe others expect, even if it means forcing themselves to be the kind of person they aren’t, deep down.

You need to start by putting yourself first. You’re unique. We’re all unique, so saying this doesn’t suggest that you’re better than others or deserve more than they do.

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You need to put yourself first because no one else has as much interest in your life as you do; and because if you don’t, no one else will. Putting others second means giving them their due respect, not ignoring them totally.

Keeping up a self-image can be a burden. Hanging on to an inflated, unrealistic one is a curse. Give yourself a break.

5. Slow Down and Let Go

Most of us want to think of ourselves as good, kind, intelligent and caring people. Sometimes that’s true. Sometimes it isn’t.

Reality is complex. We can’t function at all without constant input and support from other people.

Everything we have, everything we’ve learned, came to us through someone else’s hands. At our best, we pass on this borrowed existence to others, enhanced by our contribution. At our worst, we waste and squander it.

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So recognize that you’re a rich mixture of thoughts and feelings that come and go, some useful, some not. There’s no need to keep up a façade; no need to pretend; no need to fear of what you know to be true.

When you face your own truth, you’ll find it’s an enormous relief. If you’re maybe not as wonderful as you’d like to be, you aren’t nearly as bad as you fear either.

The truth really does set you free; free to work on being better and to forgive yourself for being human; free to express your gratitude to others and recognize what you owe them; free to acknowledge your feelings without letting them dominate your life. Above all, you’ll be free to understand the truth of living: that much of what happens to you is no more than chance. It can’t be avoided and is not your fault. There’s no point in beating yourself up about it.

Final Thoughts

What is holding you in situations and actions that no longer work for you often isn’t inertia or procrastination. It’s the power of habitual ways of seeing the world and thinking about events. Until you can let go of those old, worn-out habits, they’ll continue to hold you prisoner.

To stay in your comfort zone through mere habit, or—worse still—to stay there because of irrational fears of what may lie outside, will condemn you to a life of frustration and regret.

If you can accept the truth about the world and yourself, change whatever is holding you back, and get on with a fresh view on life, you’ll find that single action lets you open the door of your self-imposed prison and walk free. There’s a marvelous world out there. You’ll see, if you try it!

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Featured photo credit: teigan rodger via unsplash.com

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