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Take Your Laundry Off the Line

Take Your Laundry Off the Line

In multi-team meetings, there are frequently situations where people within the same team contradict one another. I might view the project as being accomplished in one way; my colleague might come right behind me and say it can’t be done that way. If there’s any sense of time available to get things done, take that coversation offline.

  • Unified Message– Airing your differences with a teammate in a group setting tells the rest of the team that your contribution to the overall project will be less reliable. Giving the impression that your part isn’t well considered and the unified belief of the team throws doubt into the mix.
  • Opportunity for More Cooks– Sensing your disagreement, external teams now feel empowered to mettle with your team’s decision and recommend the best alternatives based on their team’s needs, not your internal workings.
  • FUD– Whenever fear, uncertainty, and doubt can be exploited, it will. (Ask anyone in the US). Within a project, any part of the project that makes other teams feel uncertain is the elected “whipping boy” of the project. You can rest assured that if it’s your part of the project, you’ll be eating a lot of time in explaining, reassuring, and restoring confidence.

Here’s some advice for ways you can avoid these circumstances, and then some advice for firefighting should the problem arise.

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  • Clear Roles and Plans– Before any multi-team meeting, meet with your colleagues and be sure you’re all going in there with the same roles and plans. I know this sounds stupid to list out, but it bit my ass not more than 45 minutes ago. Believe me, it can be missed. Be clear. Be clear again. Make the other person parrot back that you’re both in agreement.
  • Agreement about Curveballs– Agree ahead of time that if someone throws out something in the meeting that no one was predicting, that you’ll take the conversation offline, decide what to do, and then report back to the coordinator promptly. Thinking on one’s feet isn’t everyone’s strong suit, and worse, if someone’s a “yes man,” you might find yourself politely smiling while a colleague sets you up to certain failure.
  • Jump in, Go Offline– If all else fails and your colleague decides she has the right way to do things, regardless of your previous planning, interrupt as politely as possible and recommend you finalize things offline. Mention that there are some final details to be nailed down, but that you’ll get back to the coordinator (or project manager) promptly. Don’t be rude. Let the other person and yourself keep “face,” but do your best to squelch that signal promptly.
  • Fight in Private– The next failing when these situations occur is that the fight almost always takes part in the hallway outside the meeting, STILL in plain sight of the teams involved. Take the fight back to an office, our out to the coffee shop, or for a walk around the building. Don’t further disrupt and distort your external appearance (and thus your team’s position in the project) by fighting in front of everyone.

Some of the keys to completing a project on time and within budget is to be sure that confidence is high, cooperation is free-flowing, and communication is up-to-the-second. Following some of the advice above falls into the “damage control” part of project management, but it’s just as important as knowing how to send a proper status email, and how to handle cost overruns. In fact, it’s often MORE important.

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Chris Brogan never argues with himself on projects at Grasshopper Factory , nor does he disagree with the team at [chrisbrogan.com]. He’s working with others to create PodCamp Boston for Sept 9-10th in Boston.

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Last Updated on September 15, 2020

7 Helpful Reminders When You Want to Make Big Life Changes

7 Helpful Reminders When You Want to Make Big Life Changes

Overcoming fear and making life changes is hard. It’s even harder when it’s a big change—breaking up with someone you love, leaving your old job, starting your own business, or hundreds of other difficult choices.

Even if it’s obvious that making a big change will be beneficial, it can be tough. Our mind wants to stay where it’s comfortable, which means doing the same things we’ve always done[1].

We worry: how do we know if we’re making the right decision? We wish we knew more. How do we make a decision without all of the necessary information?

We feel stuck. How do we get past fear and move forward with that thing we want to do?

Well, I certainly don’t have all the answers, but here are 7 things to remember when you want to move forward and make positive life changes.

1. You’ll Never Have All the Information

We often avoid making important decisions because we want more information before we make a tough call.

Yes, it’s certainly true that you need to do your research, but if you’re waiting for the crystal clear answer to come to you, then you’re going to be waiting a long time. As humans, we are curious creatures, and our need for information can be paralyzing.

Life is a series of guesses, mistakes, and revisions. Make the best decision you can at the time and continue to move forward. This also means learning to listen to and trust your intuition. Here’s how.

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2. Have the Courage to Trust Yourself

We make all sorts of excuses for not making important life changes, but the limiting belief that often underlies many of them is that we don’t trust ourselves to do the right thing.

We think that if we get into a new situation, we won’t know what to do or how to react. We’re worried that the uncharted territory of the future will be too much for us to handle.

Give yourself more credit than that.

You’ve dealt with unexpected changes before, right? And when your car got a flat tire on the way to work, how did that end up? Or when you were unexpectedly dumped?

In the end, you were fine.

Humans are amazingly adaptable, and your whole life has been helping you develop skills to face unexpected challenges.

Have enough courage to trust yourself. No matter what happens, you’ll figure out a way to make it work.

3. What’s the Worst That Could Happen?

Like jealousy, most of your fears are created in your own head.

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When you actually sit down and think about the worst case scenario, you’ll realize that there are actually very few risks that you can’t recover from.

Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” Once you realize the worst isn’t that bad, you’ll be ready to crush it.

When you’re preparing to make a big life change, write down all of the things you’re afraid of. Are you afraid of failing? Of looking silly? Of losing money? Of being unhappy?

Then, address each fear by writing down ways you can overcome them. For example, if you’re afraid of losing money, can you take a few months to save up a safety net?

4. It’s Just as Much About the Process as It Is About the Result

We’re so wrapped up in results when we think about major life changes. We worry that if we start out towards a big goal, then we might not make it to the finish line.

However, you’re allowed to change your mind. And failing will only help you learn what not to do next time.

Furthermore, just because you don’t reach the final goal doesn’t mean you failed. You chose the goal in the first place, but you’re allowed to alter it if you find that the goal isn’t working out the way you hoped. Failure is not a destination, and neither is success.

Enjoy the process of moving forward[2].

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5. Continue to Pursue Opportunity

If you’re on the fence about a big decision, then you might be worried about getting locked into a position that you can’t escape from.

Think about it a different way. New choices rarely limit your options.

In fact, new pursuits often open up even more opportunities. One of the best things about going after important goals with passion is that they open up chances and options that you never could have expected in the beginning.

If you pursue the interesting opportunities that arise along the path to your goal, then you can be sure that you’ll always have choices.

6. Effort Matters, So Use It

It sounds simple, but one of the big reasons we don’t make life changes is because we don’t try. And we don’t try because then it’s easy to make excuses for why we don’t get what we want.

Flunked that test? Are you stupid? “Of course I’m not stupid. I just didn’t study. I would have gotten an A if I actually studied.”

Stuck in a job you hate? Why haven’t you found a new job yet? “Well, I haven’t really tried to get a new job. I could totally ace that interview if I wanted.”

Why do we make excuses like these to ourselves? It’s because if we try and fail, then we just failed. But if we don’t try, we can chalk it up to laziness.

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Get over it. Failure happens to everyone.

And the funny thing is, if you actually try—because it’s pretty clear that most people aren’t trying—then you’ll win a lot more than you think.

7. Start With Something Manageable

You can’t climb Everest if you don’t try hiking beforehand.

Maybe applying for your dream job seems intimidating right now. What can you start with today?

Can you talk to someone who already has that position and see what they think makes them successful? Can you improve your skills so you meet one of the qualifications? Can you take a free online course to expand your resume?

Maybe you’re not quite ready for a long-term relationship, but you know you want to start dating. Could you try asking out a mutual friend? Can you go out more with friends to practice your communication skills and meet new people?

You don’t need to be a world changer today; you just need to make small life changes in your own world.

More Tips to Help You Make Life Changes

Featured photo credit: Victor Rodriguez via unsplash.com

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