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Letting Things Go

Letting Things Go

More than a year ago, I decided to spend more time writing to share some of the ideas I’ve developed over the years. Imagining how I could do it and setting my plans in place was fun. So much fun I forgot the most basic rule of planning: It’s not what you plan to do that comes first, it’s what you’re willing to give up to make time and space to do it.

As I plunged ahead in the excitement, I realized little of it would ever happen. The reason was simple: I had no time or energy available. As the head of a business, most of my time was spoken for. I had people who depended on me, clients who expected service, and I needed to pay attention to everything from marketing to finances and computer services.

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What I did to solve my difficulty was retire. I gave up my job to pursue my dream. I’m not suggesting this is the only way, or the right way. For most people, it won’t even be an option. I only mention it to show that moving forward always means leaving something behind; often something you don’t much want to let go.

I frequently meet people who tell me they are on the edge of some great endeavor. Yet they never get started, because they’re waiting: waiting to finish something they’re involved in; waiting to feel sufficiently secure to take the risk; waiting until their children are grown, or their spouse doesn’t need to travel so much; waiting for enough savings to hold onto; waiting for the right time.

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There isn’t a right time. There’s now, there’s sometime, and there’s never. Any time you start to think about starting, there will inevitably be something in your way: something important you don’t want to give up . It’s human to want to have it all: the exciting job; being a terrific parent; becoming a leading light in the community; and writing the Great American/Australian/British/Canadian Novel at the same time. Get a grip, my friend. It’s not possible. Choices will make always require you to leave other options behind, probably for ever.

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A good part of the skill of living is the willingness to let things go without regret. Choose what seems best, acknowledge what you may have to give up to obtain it, and get on with your life. Don’t look back. Not now, not ever. Banish thoughts about what might have been. It wasn’t. Besides, whatevr you imagine would have happened is virtually certain to be wrong. People usually believe the roads they didn’t take would have been better than the ones they did. It’s just as likely those roads would have been far worse; or more or less the same.

Above all, don’t join in the national pastime of synchronized whining about the difficulties preventing you from doing what you really want. Either get on with it, if you truly want to, paying the price it demands and enjoying whatever you achieve; or shut up and accept you aren’t willing to pay, so you can’t have the goods. You cannot have it all. Get used to it.

Adrian Savage is an English author and retired business executive who lives in Tucson, Arizona. You can read his thoughts most days at Slow Leadership, the site for anyone who wants to bring back the taste, zest and satisfaction to leadership; and at The Coyote Within.

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The Ultimate Way to get to Inbox Zero

The Ultimate Way to get to Inbox Zero

Ah, Inbox Zero. An achievement that so many of us long for. It’s elusive. It’s a productivity benchmark. It’s an ongoing battle.

It’s also unnecessary.

Don’t get me wrong, the way Inbox Zero was initially termed is incredibly valuable. Merlin Mann coined the phrase years ago and what he has defined it as goes well beyond the term itself.

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Yet people have created their own definition of Inbox Zero. They’re not using it with the intent that Mann suggested. Instead, it’s become about having nothing left in immediate view. It’s become about getting your email inbox to zero messages or having an empty inbox on your desk that was once filled with papers. It’s become about removing visual clutter.

But it’s not about that. Not at all.

Here’s what it actually is, as defined by Mann:

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“It’s about how to reclaim your email, your atten­tion, and your life. That “zero?” It’s not how many mes­sages are in your inbox–it’s how much of your own brain is in that inbox. Especially when you don’t want it to be. That’s it.” – Merlin Mann

The Fake Inbox Zero

The sense of fulfillment one gets from clearing out everything in your inbox is temporary at best, disappointing at worst. Often we find that we’re shooting for Inbox Zero just so that we can say that we’ve got “everything done that needed to be done”. That’s simply not the case.

Certainly by removing all of your things that sit in your inbox means that they are either taken care of or are well on their way to being taken care of. The old saying “out of sight, out of mind” is often applied to clearing out your inbox. But unless you’ve actually done something with the stuff, it’s either not worth having in your inbox in the first place or is still sitting in your “mental inbox”. You have to do something with the stuff, and for many people that is a hard thing to do. That’s why Inbox Zero – as defined by Mann – is not achieved as often as many people would like to believe. It’s this “watered down” concept of Inbox Zero that is completed instead. You’ve got no email in your inbox and you’ve got no paper on your desk’s inbox. So that must mean you’re at Inbox Zero.

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Until the next email arrives or the next document comes your way. Then you work to get rid of those as quickly as possible so that you can get back to Inbox Zero: The Lesser again. If it’s something that can be dealt with quickly, then you get there. But if they require more time, then soon you’ve got more stuff in your inboxes. So you switch up tasks to get to the things that don’t require as much time or attention so that you can get closer to this stripped down variation of Inbox Zero. However, until you deal with the bigger items, you don’t quite get there. Some people feel as if they’ve let themselves (or others) down if they don’t get there. And that, quite frankly, is silly. That’s why this particular version of Inbox Zero doesn’t work.

So what’s the ultimate way to get to Inbox Zero? Have zero inboxes.

The inbox is meant to be a stop along the way to your final destination. It’s the place where stuff sits until you’re ready to put it in the place where it sits until you’re ready to deal with it. So why not skip the inbox altogether? Why not put it in the place where it sits until you’re ready to deal with it? Because that requires immediate action. It means you need to give the item some thought and attention. You need to step back and look at it rather than file it. that’s why we have a catch-all inbox, both for email and for analog items. It’s allows us to only look at these things when we’re ready to do so.

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The funny thing is that we can decide when we’re ready to without actually looking at the inbox beforehand. We can look at things on our own watch rather than when we are alerted to or feel the need to. There is no reason why you need an inbox at all to store things for longer than it sits there before you see it. None. It’s a choice. And the choice you should be making is how to deal with things when you first see them rather than when to deal with things you haven’t looked at yet.

Stop Faking It

Seeing things in your inboxes is simply using your sight. Looking at things in your inbox when you first see them is using insight.

Stop checking email more than twice per day. Turn off your alerts. Put your desk’s inbox somewhere that it can be accessed by others and accessed by you when you’re ready to deal with what’s in it. Don’t put it on your desk – that’s productivity poison.

If you want to get to Inbox Zero — the real Inbox Zero — then get rid of those stops along the way. You’ll find that by doing that you’ll be getting more of the stuff you really want done finished much faster, rather than see them moving along at the speed of not much more than zero.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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