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How “Fun” Can Be Your Best Discipline Technique

How “Fun” Can Be Your Best Discipline Technique

    Show me any two people who have fun together frequently and I’ll show you a good relationship. People who have regular fun together like each other and most often respect one another. This is a winning combination when it comes to the parent/child relationship. If both parties feel good around each other there will be less animosity, anger, resentment and discord and more ease, comfort, respect and happiness.

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    To like your kids you must enjoy them regularly. And for them to respond positively to your discipline they must enjoy and like you.
    Unfortunately, in the hustle an bustle of everyday life, many of the daily encounters between parent and child go something like this:

    “Time to get up.”
    “Here’s your breakfast. No TV until you’re done.”
    “Got you backpack?”
    “You don’t have time to with the dog.”
    “Come on, we’re in a hurry!”
    “Don’t forget your coat.”
    “Love you, bye!”
    “How was your day? Got any homework?”
    “Leave your brother alone!”
    “You have to finish your vegetables if you want dessert.”
    “You can play outside for 1 hour. I want you back by 8 o’clock for bed.”
    “Did you brush your teeth?” Goodnight.”

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    Now, how much mutual enjoyment took place on this day? None. The parent saw the child as a bundle of unpleasant tasks, and the child saw the parent as a bundle of directions. No relationship can remain healthy when this kind of interaction is the only feeding it gets.
    The antidote? FUN!

    When I interviewed over a thousand children around the world as to what it is that their mother or father did for them that made them feel totally happy and loved they said, “Spending one-on-one time with me.”
    The possibilities or shared one-on-one fun are endless. Here is a list I’ve compiled over the years after talking to children and families:

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    1) Going out for dinner on a school night while everyone else stays home
    2) Going to a movie
    3) Going shopping
    4) Going for a bike ride
    5) Reading a novel aloud to them
    6) Finger painting
    7) Baking cookies
    8) Playing card/board games
    9) Going for a walk in the park
    10) Going swimming
    11) Doing a collection together (stamps, coins, dolls)
    12) Visiting a museum
    13) Planting a flower or vegetable together

    Shared fun can also come in little doses throughout the day while talking, listening, expressing affection or telling jokes. The impact of these small things is astounding. Let’s redo the scenario described above to illustrate this point. This time, let’s put some FUN into it!

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    “Unfortunately sleepyhead, it’s time to get.” Dad rubs child’s back.”
    “After you demolish your breakfast, you can watch a little TV.”
    “Got you three-ton book bag?”
    “Rufus sure likes you. Okay, let’ get outta here!”
    “You’re moving quicker than I am this morning!”
    “Good job remembering your coat, lovebug.”
    “Love you, bye!”
    “What was the most fun part of your day?”
    “Alan, we don’t bug each other like that. You need to stop.”
    “Only 1 more piece of broccoli, my sweet, and then we can enjoy a nice dessert together.”
    “You can go to Ryan’s house for one hour until 8 o’clock. Have a great time!”
    “Hey, welcome home, lovebug! Let’s head on up to the bathroom to brush those teeth.”
    “Goodnight. I love you. See you in the morning.”

    Lightening up, adding humour and spending some one-on-one time with each child each month is one of the biggest secrets to having a wonderful family life that doesn’t include a lot of stress or need to discipline. Try it and see the difference it can make! Your children will love you for it.

    Photo: Pink Sherbert Photography

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    Published on July 15, 2019

    10 Simple Strategies to Make Your Life Better Starting Today

    10 Simple Strategies to Make Your Life Better Starting Today

    Habits are an important part of the direction you take your life, and — as I’ll share with you shortly — there are certain daily habits you can adopt right away that are guaranteed to improve your life.

    Think back to when you were just six or seven years old…

    At that age you probably didn’t have many habits. But, as the years went by, you picked up more and more good and bad habits.

    You may not have thought about it before, but habit forming never really stops.

    That’s why it’s never too late to change your habits and transform your life.

    So, if you feel burdened by your bad habits, start kicking them into shape by replacing them with these 10 positive, life-changing strategies:

    1. Go to Bed a Little Earlier and Wake up Earlier 

    Starting tonight, get yourself to bed 30 minutes earlier than usual. And, then make sure you get up tomorrow morning 30 minutes earlier, too. This small change can have a BIG impact on your day. 

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    Instead of furiously rushing in the morning to get ready for work, the extra time will give you a golden opportunity to start your day off on the right note. You can drink a smoothie while sitting on your porch, spend 10 minutes exercising and stretching, and still have time to read a few pages of an inspiring book.

    2. Be Grateful for the Good Things in Your Life 

    Setbacks and obstacles are inevitable in life. But, with a positive mindset, you’ll be able to overcome most of these. And, when you do, you’ll boost your self-confidence. 

    This is something you can definitely be grateful for. 

    However, if worst-case scenarios are playing out in your life, then sometimes, to stay strong, you’ll need to keep your mind on the good things that are happening to you. For example, your relationship with your partner might be crumbling, but your career is continuously getting stronger. It’d be easy to feel downtrodden and miserable about your relationship problems —  but, it would be much healthier to keep your mind and gratitude on these things that are going well, such as your career.

    3. Drink Water All Day Every Day 

    I’m sure you’ve heard the advice of drinking at least eight glasses of water a day, but are you following that advice? If not, you’re robbing your body and mind of essential hydration. 

    With the right amount of water intake a day, you’ll be amazed how good you feel — and how good you look!

    4. Take 15 Minutes to Set Goals for the Day, and Then Tackle Them One by One 

    This strategy will put your life into a new stratosphere! And, it’s very simple to do. 

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    Simply spend 15 minutes in the morning (either at home or at work) planning what you need and want to achieve during the rest of the day. Once you’ve listed your tasks, the next step is to put them into order of priority. 

    For instance, you have three things to do: catch up with your emails, write a project update, and prepare a briefing for your CEO. It’s best if you put these in order of importance. In this example, your emails can probably wait until you’ve created your CEO brief and updated your project documentation.

    5. Turn Off Your Cell Phone (or Put it on Airplane Mode) When You’re Focusing 

    A 2012 study found that even looking at a cell phone or feeling it vibrate in your pocket can significantly distract focus and reduce your ability to complete complex tasks.[1]

    It’s no surprise really, as our thoughts are subconsciously drawn towards checking our phones when they’re switched on. It’s a bad habit — but one that most of us have. However, when you need 100% focus (like I do when writing my articles), then switching your phone off, or at least putting it into airplane mode, will free your mind and supercharge your focus. Try it and see!

    6. Walk as Much as You Can 

    Have you noticed that most people’s lives are sedentary? They drive to work, sit in front of a screen all day, then drive home and binge on the latest Netflix series. It’s no wonder there’s a growing epidemic of obesity and mental health issues. 

    Our bodies are made to move — so we should move them! This can be as simple as walking up the stairs to your office instead of taking the elevator, and going out for a walk around the block at lunchtime. In the evening, instead of arriving home and crashing on the sofa; spend 20 to 30 minutes walking around your block.

    When you make these things a habit, you’ll be amazed by how much better you feel. You’ll have less stress — and more energy.

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    7. Be Mindful of Your Surroundings

    How often do you stop, think and appreciate the “here and now”? I’m guessing not very often. But, I understand why. Modern life is demanding and fast-paced. There’s precious little time to appreciate the small things. 

    But, if you want to live a healthy and happy life, you must break out of this trap. You can do this by allocating 15 to 30 minutes each day for mindful meditation. This could be in a park, in your garden, or even in your lounge. The trick is to focus 100% on your surroundings. 

    For example, if you’re outside, watch how the leaves on the trees blow around in the wind. By keeping your focus on this movement, you’ll clear your mind from your usual stresses and strains. This will give you brain a much-needed break. And, as well as improving your mental health; you’ll find your creativity gets a boost, too.

    8. Ask for Help When You Need It 

    No one can know or do everything. Which is why you shouldn’t be embarrassed to delegate tasks to others when needed, ask questions when you don’t have the answers, and work with partners and colleagues to clarify intentions. 

    When I first set up Lifehack, I tried to do everything myself: blog writing, website creation, marketing, financial planning, etc. However, I quickly learned that it was much better to hire some help. Not only did this inject some fresh ideas and inspiration into Lifehack — it also made the whole operation way more enjoyable!

    9. Practice Self Care 

    Are you looking after yourself as well as you should? If not, then take steps to improve your diet, exercise more, and to speak to yourself with encouraging words and thoughts. 

    The latter suggestion is often overlooked. But how you speak to yourself determines how you feel, what you believe, and what you achieve.

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    10. Embrace Learning 

    You cannot transform your life without learning something new. That’s because the process of change forces you to adapt. But, many people stop learning as they get older, as they find the learning process boring and bothersome. However, it doesn’t have to be this way. It can be fun and rewarding. 

    Whether you decide to learn to play guitar or study the basics of accounting — embrace learning, and begin changing your world for the better.

    I’m sure you’ll agree that these 10 strategies are simple enough for you to start putting them into action in your life. (I suggest you begin today!) 

    Nevertheless, you’ll probably need to use some extra willpower for the first 30 days or so, as this is the typical length of time it takes to create a new habit. After that, these strategies will be part of your day-to-day life, and you won’t need to think about having to do them. In other words, they’ll have become habitual actions.

    If you need any further encouragement to get started with the 10 strategies, then consider this:

    Even just adopting one of the strategies can turn the tide in your favor. But, when you implement all 10, you’ll create an unstoppable trend towards success, health and happiness.

    So start making your life better — today!

    Featured photo credit: Javier Garcia via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Deborah R. Tindell and Robert W. Bohlander, Wilkes University: The Use and Abuse of Cell Phones and Text Messaging in the Classroom: A Survey of College Students

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