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From Mistake to Marvel

From Mistake to Marvel

November is the month we celebrate thankfulness, gratitude, and appreciation. Lately, in my neck of the late autumn woods, we’ve been talking story about mistakes, and how we should appreciate them.

What? Be thankful for mistakes?

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Absolutely. Let’s really think about this with an open mind.

Mistakes are part of the learning process. If you aren’t making mistakes, you probably aren’t stretching enough, learning enough, or embracing the catalytic converter action sequences that your mistakes can help you get comfortable with.

You’ve made a mistake. Did others miss that you made it, or did they knowingly allow it to happen, and have it be okay? When you are in a safe environment in which first-time mistakes are welcomed as the germinating seeds they are, and they do happen frequently as part of the evolutionary process of the work culture you are in (work, family, club or otherwise), you are fortunate indeed: You are in an atmosphere of trust and trustworthiness.

Think of your first-time mistakes to be petri dishes of the future breakthroughs that they potentially can be. Think of them as right-reason idea-experiments gone awry. Think of them as those times you don’t have to know all the answers yet, because you knowingly want to push the envelope in testing the variables. Think of them as a short-term way to test a better long-term decision.

Enlist others to help so the worth of the idea you’ve tested isn’t lost, and enlarge your connectivity with others. Let’s say you’re stuck, so you ask for help. You have to articulate your vision for others, and be willing to lead with the insights of your experience with this thus far. You have to be open-minded, and willing to let others enlist in your mission and make significant contributions, understanding that if they are to help you make this happen, it must be a win-win for everyone concerned. Way more learning and growth is involved here than just about the mistake itself!

Let’s say you fail at your efforts the second time around. The way I look at it, you’ve made the concept of “failure” an evolution of sorts, for we’re no longer talking about a mistake, are we. We are talking about the intent to succeed with a potentially rich idea. We are taking about your purposefully creating your future instead of being satisfied with circumstance and happenstance. Now how cool is that?

Admittedly, there are good mistakes (they help us learn as we live) and bad mistakes (the careless or chronic ones that plague the thoughtless or irresponsible). We each need the awareness that every mistake we make can potentially go down either road. Give yourself a break, and don’t beat up on yourself when you have a misstep. Take the path on which your mistakes are only good, and they become the marvels they can be.

Thank you for reading, I’ll be back next Thursday. On every other day, you can visit me on Talking Story, or on www.ManagingWithAloha.com. Aloha!

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Rosa Say, author of
Managing with Aloha
, Bringing Hawaii’s Universal Values to the Art of Business

Article references/ Related writings:
This article was exclusively rewritten for the readers of Lifehack.org today. The following reference articles were written for managers, urging them to create a safe environment in which learning from mistakes can flourish:
Article 1: Mistakes are Cool
Article 2: Let’s Talk Story about GOOD Mistakes

Previous Thursday Column:
Make Mine Personal.

More by this author

Rosa Say

Rosa is an author and blogger who dedicates to helping people thrive in the work and live with purpose.

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Last Updated on September 15, 2020

7 Helpful Reminders When You Want to Make Big Life Changes

7 Helpful Reminders When You Want to Make Big Life Changes

Overcoming fear and making life changes is hard. It’s even harder when it’s a big change—breaking up with someone you love, leaving your old job, starting your own business, or hundreds of other difficult choices.

Even if it’s obvious that making a big change will be beneficial, it can be tough. Our mind wants to stay where it’s comfortable, which means doing the same things we’ve always done[1].

We worry: how do we know if we’re making the right decision? We wish we knew more. How do we make a decision without all of the necessary information?

We feel stuck. How do we get past fear and move forward with that thing we want to do?

Well, I certainly don’t have all the answers, but here are 7 things to remember when you want to move forward and make positive life changes.

1. You’ll Never Have All the Information

We often avoid making important decisions because we want more information before we make a tough call.

Yes, it’s certainly true that you need to do your research, but if you’re waiting for the crystal clear answer to come to you, then you’re going to be waiting a long time. As humans, we are curious creatures, and our need for information can be paralyzing.

Life is a series of guesses, mistakes, and revisions. Make the best decision you can at the time and continue to move forward. This also means learning to listen to and trust your intuition. Here’s how.

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2. Have the Courage to Trust Yourself

We make all sorts of excuses for not making important life changes, but the limiting belief that often underlies many of them is that we don’t trust ourselves to do the right thing.

We think that if we get into a new situation, we won’t know what to do or how to react. We’re worried that the uncharted territory of the future will be too much for us to handle.

Give yourself more credit than that.

You’ve dealt with unexpected changes before, right? And when your car got a flat tire on the way to work, how did that end up? Or when you were unexpectedly dumped?

In the end, you were fine.

Humans are amazingly adaptable, and your whole life has been helping you develop skills to face unexpected challenges.

Have enough courage to trust yourself. No matter what happens, you’ll figure out a way to make it work.

3. What’s the Worst That Could Happen?

Like jealousy, most of your fears are created in your own head.

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When you actually sit down and think about the worst case scenario, you’ll realize that there are actually very few risks that you can’t recover from.

Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” Once you realize the worst isn’t that bad, you’ll be ready to crush it.

When you’re preparing to make a big life change, write down all of the things you’re afraid of. Are you afraid of failing? Of looking silly? Of losing money? Of being unhappy?

Then, address each fear by writing down ways you can overcome them. For example, if you’re afraid of losing money, can you take a few months to save up a safety net?

4. It’s Just as Much About the Process as It Is About the Result

We’re so wrapped up in results when we think about major life changes. We worry that if we start out towards a big goal, then we might not make it to the finish line.

However, you’re allowed to change your mind. And failing will only help you learn what not to do next time.

Furthermore, just because you don’t reach the final goal doesn’t mean you failed. You chose the goal in the first place, but you’re allowed to alter it if you find that the goal isn’t working out the way you hoped. Failure is not a destination, and neither is success.

Enjoy the process of moving forward[2].

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5. Continue to Pursue Opportunity

If you’re on the fence about a big decision, then you might be worried about getting locked into a position that you can’t escape from.

Think about it a different way. New choices rarely limit your options.

In fact, new pursuits often open up even more opportunities. One of the best things about going after important goals with passion is that they open up chances and options that you never could have expected in the beginning.

If you pursue the interesting opportunities that arise along the path to your goal, then you can be sure that you’ll always have choices.

6. Effort Matters, So Use It

It sounds simple, but one of the big reasons we don’t make life changes is because we don’t try. And we don’t try because then it’s easy to make excuses for why we don’t get what we want.

Flunked that test? Are you stupid? “Of course I’m not stupid. I just didn’t study. I would have gotten an A if I actually studied.”

Stuck in a job you hate? Why haven’t you found a new job yet? “Well, I haven’t really tried to get a new job. I could totally ace that interview if I wanted.”

Why do we make excuses like these to ourselves? It’s because if we try and fail, then we just failed. But if we don’t try, we can chalk it up to laziness.

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Get over it. Failure happens to everyone.

And the funny thing is, if you actually try—because it’s pretty clear that most people aren’t trying—then you’ll win a lot more than you think.

7. Start With Something Manageable

You can’t climb Everest if you don’t try hiking beforehand.

Maybe applying for your dream job seems intimidating right now. What can you start with today?

Can you talk to someone who already has that position and see what they think makes them successful? Can you improve your skills so you meet one of the qualifications? Can you take a free online course to expand your resume?

Maybe you’re not quite ready for a long-term relationship, but you know you want to start dating. Could you try asking out a mutual friend? Can you go out more with friends to practice your communication skills and meet new people?

You don’t need to be a world changer today; you just need to make small life changes in your own world.

More Tips to Help You Make Life Changes

Featured photo credit: Victor Rodriguez via unsplash.com

Reference

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