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2 Simple Ways to Be a Happy Parent

2 Simple Ways to Be a Happy Parent

    Do you have moments throughout the day when you feel great as a parent? When your kids are happy, you are happy, you are all hugging, laughing and kissing one other? You know the feeling of wonderment. Now, do you also have times when you don’t love being a parent? Have you felt at your wits end, frustrated, angry and resentful? Here are two simple ways you can be a happy parent more often than passing moments in your day.

    Ask yourself two very important questions:

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    1. When are you happiest with your kids?

    2. What part of the normal day with your family routinely causes suffering?

    After you have answered these questions, you will see that there tends to be patterns or times during the day when things go haywire for you or when life is flowing smoothly.

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    When does life flow in your home? What are you doing with your children when everyone is most happy? Is there a way to increase these times? What is going on with you that you feel so happy to be around your kids?

    Parents say that morning, after school, dinner time and bed time are the most stressful for them. Would you agree? Look at each time period more closely and see what leads up to the stress. Is it that there really is not a routine in place? Is there no structure around a certain activity? Do your children know your expectations and if necessary, the consequences? And, do you follow through on your word or just give up to appease the situation?

    Kids love and adore routine and structure; not rigid, but consistent and calm structure. They also love predictability, so be sure to sit down and talk to your children about any routines you see that need to be put into place.

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    Now that you will have some comforting routines in place for your children, begin to think about ones YOU might need. Do you feel stressed after coming home from work? Find a way to wind down for 15-20 mins before you move into the next phase of the evening. Ideas?

    • You could go to your room, change into comfy clothes and take 10 deep breaths.
    • You could read a book
    • You could do a short yoga routine
    • You could lie down and close your eyes for 15 minutes
    • You could lie on your bed or the sofa and listen to classical musical

    Find whatever it is you think would help you re-energize before moving on to the task that usually stresses you.

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    Becoming conscious of the certain times when you are happiest with your kids and when you’re not allows you to stop, think, and redesign your family’s routine. It’s doable, you just have to make the necessary decisions, share and discuss them with your family and then be consistent. Your motivator will be the calm and habitual happiness you will feel.

    Image: Autumm

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    Last Updated on October 15, 2019

    How to Plan Your Life Goals and Actually Achieve Them in 7 Simple Steps

    How to Plan Your Life Goals and Actually Achieve Them in 7 Simple Steps

    Where do you want to be 5 years from now, 10 years from now, or even this time next year? These places are your goal destinations and although you might know that you don’t want to be standing still in the same place as you are now, it’s not always easy to identify what your real goals are.

    Many people think that setting a goal destination is having a dream that is there in the far distant future but will never be attained. This proves to be a self-fulfilling prophesy because of two things:

    Firstly, that the goal isn’t specifically defined enough in the first place; and secondly, it remains a remote dream waiting for action which is never taken.

    Defining your goal destination is something that you need to take some time to think carefully about. The following steps on how to plan your life goals should get you started on a journey to your destination:

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    1. Make a list of your goal destinations

    Goal destinations are the things that are important to you. Another word for them would be ambitions, but ambitions sound like something which outside of your grasp, whereas goal destinations are certainly achievable if you are willing to put in the effort working towards them.

    So what do you really want to do with your life? What are the main things that you would like to accomplish with your life? What is it that you would really regret not doing if you suddenly found you had a limited amount of time left on the earth?

    Each of these things is a goal. Define each goal destination in one sentence.

    If any of these goals is a stepping stone to another one of the goals, take it off this list as it isn’t a goal destination.

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    2. Think about the time frame to have the goal accomplished

    This is where the 5 year, 10 year, next year plan comes into it.

    Some goals will have a “shelf life” because of age, health, finance, etc, whereas others will be up to you as to when you would like to achieve them by.

    3. Write down your goals clearly

    Write each goal destination at the top of a new piece of paper.

    For each goal, write down what is it that you need and don’t have now that will allow you achieve that goal. This could be some kind of education, career change, finance, a new skill, etc. Any “stepping stone” goals you removed will fit into this exercise. If any of these smaller “goals” have sub-goals, go through the same process with these so that you have precise action points to work with.

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    4. Write down what you need to do for each goal

    Under each item listed, write down the things that you will need to do in order to complete each of the steps required to complete the goal. 

    These items will become a check-list. They are a tangible way of checking how you are progressing towards reaching your goal destinations. A record of your success!

    5. Write down your timeframe with specific and realistic dates

    Using the time frames you created, on each goal destination sheet write down the year in which you will complete the goal by.

    For any goal which has no fixed completion date, think about when you would like to have accomplished it by and use that as your destination date.

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    Work within the time frames for each goal destination, make a note of realistic dates by which you will complete each of the small steps.

    6. Schedule your to-dos

    Now take an overview of all your goal destinations and make a schedule of what you need to do this week, this month, this year – in order to progress along the road towards your goal destinations.

    Write these action points on a schedule so that you have definite dates on which to do things.

    7. Review your progress

    At the end of the year, review what you have done this year, mark things off the check-lists for each goal destination and write up the schedule with the action points you need for the next year.

    Although it may take you several years to, for example, get the promotion you desire because you first need to get the MBA which means getting a job with more money to allow you to finance a part-time degree course, you will ultimately be successful in achieving your goal destination because you have planned out not only what you want, but how to get it, and have been pro-active towards achieving it.

    Featured photo credit: Debby Hudson via unsplash.com

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