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14 Tips For Resolutions That Stick in the New Year

14 Tips For Resolutions That Stick in the New Year
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    Statistics show that only about 15% of New Years Resolutions are kept. With an 85% failure rate, it’s no wonder that the amount of resolutions made is dropping. You wouldn’t buy a product that is defective 85% of the time, so why buy into the annual hype about resolutions? A strategy that fails over four fifths of the time is broken. The question is, how do you fix it?

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    Most resolutions come in the form of habit changes. Quitting smoking, hitting the gym and staying organized are all based on routine habits. I’ve spent the last few years changing habits. Training myself to become organized, exercise regularly, eat healthy, wake up early and work productively.

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    Resolutions Require Strategy, Not Willpower

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    I believe that most New Years Resolutions fail because people approach them incorrectly. Instead of developing a strategy for changing habits, most people try to rely on willpower. While willpower and motivation can get you through the first week or two, it can’t last forever.

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    With the right strategy, however, you can make habit changes a success. There is no perfect formula, but after changing dozens of habits in myself over the last few years, I can offer a few suggestions:

    1. Create a Trigger. A trigger is a specific ritual you perform whenever you get a particular cue. This ritual focuses you on performing your habit, rather than sliding into old vices. Snapping your fingers when you feel the temptation to smoke; jumping out of bed at the sound of your alarm or repeating, “do it now!” to yourself are all triggers designed to kick your habit off. Practice your trigger and it will become automatic, overriding your default behaviors.
    2. Replace Lost Needs. Most habits fulfill a purpose of some kind, even if the side-effects are negative. You might watch television to relax, even if you have other things you would rather do. You might eat junk food to feel full, even if it isn’t healthy. Consider what you are giving up in your habit change and make an effort to replace those lost needs.
    3. Write It in Ink. A commitment inside your head isn’t a commitment at all. Keep a binder where you can store written commitments for habit changes. Not only will writing reinforce a promise to yourself, it will clarify your thinking as to what exactly you want to change.
    4. Commit for a Month. Resolve to stick to your change for at least thirty days. Less than this and you are likely to fall back into old habits. Three to four weeks is all it takes to condition a new habit.
    5. Keep a Journal. Open up a new word document and commit to writing a few sentences each day about your progress. I’ve found this method helpful in reminding me about my commitment and helping me focus on the change I want to make.
    6. Increase Positive Feedback. If you reward a behavior, it will increase. Punish a behavior and it will be reduced. This feedback mechanism is common to all animals with a nervous system from sea slugs to human beings. If your new habit makes you feel worse than the old habits, it can’t last.
    7. Strategic Enjoyment. One way to create more positive feedback is to structure your habit so it becomes more fun. Going to the gym isn’t the only way to exercise if you hate it. Eating tofu isn’t the only meal option for vegetarians. Look for ways you can make a new habit more enjoyable.
    8. Think Years, Not Months. A diet that consists of grapefruit and water isn’t going to provide nutritional needs to last your whole life. Work on creating changes to your diet, work, exercise or routines that can be sustained for years. Crash diets and 18-hour workdays will eventually break.
    9. If You Slip Up, Start Over. I consider a habit change complete when I can go thirty consecutive days. If you slip up and break your habit on the 3rd, 15th, or 27th day, start over. This keeps you from cheating on days with the excuse that you will resume the day afterwards.
    10. Behavior First, Results Later. Don’t let watching the scale or your bank account discourage you when trying to change a habit. The correct change in behavior has to come before any results start to appear. Focusing too much on losing weight, working less or being rich and throw off your attempts to form good habits.
    11. One Habit at a Time. Don’t tackle several changes at once. Successfully conditioning one habit change is more useful than giving up on a half dozen changes after a month.
    12. Learn From Mistakes. This one is pretty obvious, but it’s surprising how many people when they fail to make a change, go back to using the exact same strategy. Figure out why you failed previously, and don’t be too quick to blame willpower.
    13. Consistency Counts. A habit that is performed the same way, at the same time and under the same conditions every day for a month will be reinforced far more strongly than one that changes throughout the week. Be consistent and you can spend less time reinforcing a habit.
    14. Create a Habits List. When I started changing habits I created a list of all the changes I would like to make. Each month I’d pick one change and focus on it until I could cross it off the list. This method can focus your enthusiasm so you don’t take on too much or too little.

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    Scott H Young

    Scott is obsessed with personal development. For the last ten years, he's been experimenting to find out how to learn and think better.

    How to Motivate Yourself: 13 Simple Ways You Can Try Right Now 15 Ways to Cultivate Lifelong Learning for a Sharper Brain 18 Tricks to Make New Habits Stick 18 Tips for Killer Presentations 7 Rules to Live by to Get in Shape in Two Weeks

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    Last Updated on February 15, 2019

    Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

    Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

    In Personal Development-speak, we are always talking about goals, outcomes, success, desires and dreams. In other words, all the stuff we want to do, achieve and create in our world.

    And while it’s important for us to know what we want to achieve (our goal), it’s also important for us to understand why we want to achieve it; the reason behind the goal or some would say, our real goal.

    Why is goal setting important?

    1. Your needs and desire will be fulfilled.

    Sometimes when we explore our “why”, (why we want to achieve a certain thing) we realize that our “what” (our goal) might not actually deliver us the thing (feeling, emotion, internal state) we’re really seeking.

    For example, the person who has a goal to lose weight in the belief that weight loss will bring them happiness, security, fulfillment, attention, popularity and the partner of their dreams. In this instance, their “what” is weight-loss and their “why” is happiness (etc.) and a partner.

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    Six months later, they have lost the weight (achieved their goal) but as is often the case, they’re not happier, not more secure, not more confident, not more fulfilled and in keeping with their miserable state, they have failed to attract their dream partner.

    After all, who wants to be with someone who’s miserable? They achieved their practical goal but still failed to have their needs met.

    So they set a goal to lose another ten pounds. And then another. And maybe just ten more. With the destructive and erroneous belief that if they can get thin enough, they’ll find their own personal nirvana. And we all know how that story ends.

    2. You’ll find out what truly motivates you

    The important thing in the process of constructing our best life is not necessarily what goals we set (what we think we want) but what motivates us towards those goals (what we really want).

    The sooner we begin to explore, identify and understand what motivates us towards certain achievements, acquisitions or outcomes (that is, we begin moving towards greater consciousness and self awareness), the sooner we will make better decisions for our life, set more intelligent (and dare I say, enlightened) goals and experience more fulfilment and less frustration.

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    We all know people who have achieved what they set out to, only to end up in the same place or worse (emotionally, psychologically, sociologically) because what they were chasing wasn’t really what they were needing.

    What we think we want will rarely provide us with what we actually need.

    3. Your state of mind will be a lot healthier

    We all set specific goals to achieve/acquire certain things (a job, a car, a partner, a better body, a bank balance, a title, a victory) because at some level, most of us believe (consciously or not) that the achievement of those goals will bring us what we really seek; joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

    Of course, setting practical, material and financial goals is an intelligent thing to do considering the world we live in and how that world works.

    But setting goals with an expectation that the achievement of certain things in our external, physical world will automatically create an internal state of peace, contentment, joy and total happiness is an unhealthy and unrealistic mindset to inhabit.

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    What you truly want and need

    Sometimes we need to look beyond the obvious (superficial) goals to discover and secure what we really want.

    Sadly, we live in a collective mindset which teaches that the prettiest and the wealthiest are the most successful.

    Some self-help frauds even teach this message. If you’re rich or pretty, you’re happy. If you’re both, you’re very happy. Pretty isn’t what we really want; it’s what we believe pretty will bring us. Same goes with money.

    When we cut through the hype, the jargon and the self-help mumbo jumbo, we all have the same basic goals, desires and needs:

    Joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

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    Nobody needs a mansion or a sport’s car but we all need love.

    Nobody needs massive pecs, six percent body-fat, a face lift or bigger breasts but we all need connection, acceptance and understanding.

    Nobody needs to be famous but we all need peace, calm, balance and happiness.

    The problem is, we live in a culture which teaches that one equals the other. If only we lived in a culture which taught that real success is far more about what’s happening in our internal environment, than our external one.

    It’s a commonly-held belief that we’re all very different and we all have different goals — whether short term or long term goals. But in many ways we’re not, and we don’t; we all want essentially the same things.

    Now all you have to do is see past the fraud and deception and find the right path.

    Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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