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Why One Partner Needs to Go Out and Work

Why One Partner Needs to Go Out and Work
Office Computer

    With the rat race catching up and both the partners in a relationship slogging to make ends meet, don’t you wish that you would be able to work from home where both of you could spend as much time as you want to with each other? Well, if you have such desires and thoughts, it is highly recommended that you think through the various consequences of the whole situation before you decide to take the step.

    I have been working from home for the past 7 years but did not really realize anything till my in laws came over for a visit. Over the years, my social circle had been shrinking but I had not given it too much thought. Given that I am not the kind of person who would go out of my way to make friends, I realized that the office friends dropped and no new ones were made. The whole thing came crumbling down when we had a son and I ended up spending time with him post my working hours. The precipitating factor was the visit of my in laws when my wife and son spent a lot of time with them and I ended up feeling neglected and alone. It almost seemed as if my son and wife did not notice me or give any credence to my presence.

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    A little introspection made me realize why this was happening. The fact of the matter is that absence does make the heart grow fonder. There have been no times when my wife waits for me to return from a tired day at work. I am just always there! There is no thrill of taking a day off from work to do some of the household chores that have piled up or the excitement about saving time on a weekend to complete the shopping that we intended to do. Due to constant presence of the other person, we had probably got too used to being around.

    It is important that we realize that change is something that humans need. It rejuvenates and brings you out of the dreary boredom of regulated life. And if you are always busy on your computer day in and day out without moving out and meeting other people, you will soon become a recluse. Once you achieve what you want, the object looses its charm and attraction and that is exactly what happens when you stay with each other all the time.

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    But this does not mean doom for couples that have work that requires them to be at home. It is just that you need to realize that there are certain steps that you need to take to ensure that you keep the excitement alive in your life.

    Explore the option of taking up a part time job so that you can be away from home for a little while for a few days in a week. This will ensure that you shall also look forward to your time out, meeting people other than your wife and kids. It does not matter what the job is. Try teaching, giving tuitions, doing some administrative work or the like. You could also consider other things to do that take you out of the home environment. Take up a new hobby that requires you to go to classes every week. If you are already making money out of what your hobby was, try taking up a new one. Hobby classes are a good place to socialize and make friends. And this will give you a chance to meet people with similar taste and interact.

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    The idea basically is that if you have work that keeps you at home, choose hobbies that take you out of the house. Make efforts to meet more people and don’t restrict your perspective by staying at home and in front of the computer all the time.

    Vishal P. Rao runs the Work at Home Forum, an online community of those who work from home.

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    Last Updated on September 25, 2019

    12 Rules for Self-Management

    12 Rules for Self-Management

    Management is not just for managers, just as leadership is not only for leaders.

    We all manage, and we all lead; these are not actions reserved for only those people who happen to hold these “positions” in a company. I personally think of management and leadership as callings, and we all get these callings to manage and lead at different times, and to different degrees.

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    Considered another way, I believe we can all learn to be more self-governing through the disciplines of great management and great leadership; these are concepts that can give us wonderful tenets to live and work by.

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    For instance, these are what I’ve come to think of as 12 Rules for Self-Management. Show me a business where everyone lives and works by self-managing, and I’ll bet it’s a business destined for greatness.

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    1. Live by your values, whatever they are. You confuse people when you don’t, because they can’t predict how you’ll behave.
    2. Speak up! No one can “hear” what you’re thinking without you be willing to stand up for it. Mind-reading is something most people can’t do.
    3. Honor your own good word, and keep the promises you make. If not, people eventually stop believing most of what you say, and your words will no longer work for you.
    4. When you ask for more responsibility, expect to be held fully accountable. This is what seizing ownership of something is all about; it’s usually an all or nothing kind of thing, and so you’ve got to treat it that way.
    5. Don’t expect people to trust you if you aren’t willing to be trustworthy for them first and foremost. Trust is an outcome of fulfilled expectations.
    6. Be more productive by creating good habits and rejecting bad ones. Good habits corral your energies into a momentum-building rhythm for you; bad habits sap your energies and drain you.
    7. Have a good work ethic, for it seems to be getting rare today. Curious, for those “old-fashioned” values like dependability, timeliness, professionalism and diligence are prized more than ever before. Be action-oriented. Seek to make things work. Be willing to do what it takes.
    8. Be interesting. Read voraciously, and listen to learn, then teach and share everything you know. No one owes you their attention; you have to earn it and keep attracting it.
    9. Be nice. Be courteous, polite and respectful. Be considerate. Manners still count for an awful lot in life, and thank goodness they do.
    10. Be self-disciplined. That’s what adults are supposed to “grow up” to be.
    11. Don’t be a victim or a martyr. You always have a choice, so don’t shy from it: Choose and choose without regret. Look forward and be enthusiastic.
    12. Keep healthy and take care of yourself. Exercise your mind, body and spirit so you can be someone people count on, and so you can live expansively and with abundance.

    Managers will tell you that they don’t really need to manage people who live by these rules; instead, they can devote their attentions to managing the businesses in which they all thrive. Chances are it will also be a place where great leaders are found.

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    Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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