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Who Am I Today? The Importance of Roles

Who Am I Today? The Importance of Roles
WHo Am I Today? The Importance of Roles

    If you’re anything like me, life keeps you pretty busy. Sometimes — more often than I’d like, actually — it’s hard just to keep straight what day it is, let alone where I’m supposed to be and what I’m supposed to be doing.

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    Keeping track of the various roles I play helps keep my head in order and prevent that feeling of being torn into a thousand tiny pieces. Every so often, usually during my version of a weekly review, I flip to an empty page in my notebook and make a list of roles: step-father, partner, teacher, anthropologist, employee, writer, son, friend, brother, brother-in-law, nephew, uncle, citizen. It helps to see it all spelled out like that, and writing it down helps me focus on what I’m accomplishing and what my goals are for each role.

    It might seem obvious, but each role we play has different goals, different standards of achievement. As an employee, I’m concerned with making enough money to pay our bills and but our groceries, but as a step-father I have to leave those concerns aside so I can get on with the business of parenting: encouraging, nurturing, sometimes disciplining, and so on. Likewise, as a teacher, I am constantly measuring my student’s performance and growth, while as I partner I am devoted to appreciating my girlfriend’s many fine qualities as well as her faults.

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    Here’s an example of how I think about some of my roles and what each entails:

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    • Partner: to build a lasting and loving relationship; to openly communicate my feelings and worries; to plan household budgets and chores.
    • Teacher: to encourage the development of critical thinking, writing, studying, and research skills; to help students develop a sense of themselves as citizens and of their place in society; to assess students’ growth and give them guidance where necessary.
    • Anthropologist: to carry out research and communicate my findings to other members of my discipline and to the public; to encourage more informed attitudes about cultural similarity and difference in my society and in my students.
    • Step-father: to offer support and encouragement to my step-children; to make sure their physical and emotional needs are met on a day-to-day basis; to share my values and dreams with my step-children and help them to articulate their own.
    • Writer: to communicate effectively with my audience; to build my audience and seek out new markets for my work; to manage my submissions, payments due and received, tax paperwork, etc. (Technically, “writer” is two roles: one as a person sitting in front of a computer or notepad and writing for others to read, and the other as a person managing his business — I could call that second role “manager” or “entrepreneur”, but I don’t feel like either of those things.)
    • Brother: to offer friendship and support; to lend a hand when needed; to be an uncle to his children.
    • Citizen: to take part in the running of my society by voting, serving on juries, paying taxes (yuck!), obeying the law when possible, breaking the law when necessary; to keep the common good in mind; to engage with the process of governance by writing letters or otherwise working to express my thoughts to my representatives; to view society critically with an eye towards its improvement.

    Those aren’t all my roles, but it’s a good sample. Making my expectations of myself in each role explicit helps me to evaluate how well I’m doing in each role. Are the things I’m doing fulfilling my idea of what my role is? What else should I be doing?

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    While doing this, I try to set a few short-term goals for each role. By spelling out what each role actually is, I can be a little more specific than just saying “I should be a better teacher”. Instead, I can ask specific questions of myself, like “Are my current tests adequately measuring what I ant students to be getting from my class?” If not, my goal might be to rewrite my test, or come up with a better grading rubric to make sure my tests are effective learning tools. Likewise, “be a better brother” is pretty vague, but “help my brother launch his business” gives me a good idea of how, exactly, I can be a better brother.

    Knowing my roles helps me to keep them separated when I need to — something that’s crucial for someone like me whose primary office is in his home. On any given evening, I might have grading to do, a post to write for lifehack.org, an essay to edit for publication, invoices to send out, and so on. It’s too easy to get wrapped up in that stuff and not to be there for my family when they need me. But as much as possible, I try to be “step-father” and “partner” once my girlfriend comes home at 5:30; reminding myself that I’m not in “writer” or “teacher” mode helps me remember what my priorities need to be when I’m “at home” instead of “at work” (even though both are in the same house).

    But working at home isn’t the only situation that can cause confusion about who, exactly, you’re supposed to be at any given moment. Thinking about roles helps keep you focused on the moment and that can be useful for anyone. Take a few minutes now and then to figure out what roles you play, and how well you’re playing them.

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    Last Updated on November 5, 2019

    How to Cultivate Continuous Learning to Stay Competitive

    How to Cultivate Continuous Learning to Stay Competitive

    Assuming the public school system didn’t crush your soul, learning is a great activity. It expands your viewpoint. It gives you new knowledge you can use to improve your life. It is important for your personal growth. Even if you discount the worldly benefits, the act of learning can be a source of enjoyment.

    “I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.” — Mark Twain

    But in a busy world, it can often be hard to fit in time to learn anything that isn’t essential. The only things learned are those that need to be. Everything beyond that is considered frivolous. Even those who do appreciate the practice of lifelong learning, can find it difficult to make the effort.

    Here are some tips for installing the habit of continuous learning:

    1. Always Have a Book

    It doesn’t matter if it takes you a year or a week to read a book. Always strive to have a book that you are reading through, and take it with you so you can read it when you have time.

    Just by shaving off a few minutes in-between activities in my day I can read about a book per week. That’s at least fifty each year.

    2. Keep a “To-Learn” List

    We all have to-do lists. These are the tasks we need to accomplish. Try to also have a “to-learn” list. On it you can write ideas for new areas of study.

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    Maybe you would like to take up a new language, learn a skill or read the collective works of Shakespeare. Whatever motivates you, write it down.

    3. Get More Intellectual Friends

    Start spending more time with people who think. Not just people who are smart, but people who actually invest much of their time in learning new skills. Their habits will rub off on you.

    Even better, they will probably share some of their knowledge with you.

    4. Guided Thinking

    Albert Einstein once said,

    “Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.”

    Simply studying the wisdom of others isn’t enough, you have to think through ideas yourself. Spend time journaling, meditating or contemplating over ideas you have learned.

    5. Put it Into Practice

    Skill based learning is useless if it isn’t applied. Reading a book on C++ isn’t the same thing as writing a program. Studying painting isn’t the same as picking up a brush.

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    If your knowledge can be applied, put it into practice.

    In this information age, we’re all exposed to a lot of information, it’s important to re-learn how to learn so as to put the knowledge into practice.

    6. Teach Others

    You learn what you teach. If you have an outlet of communicating ideas to others, you are more likely to solidify that learning.

    Start a blog, mentor someone or even discuss ideas with a friend.

    7. Clean Your Input

    Some forms of learning are easy to digest, but often lack substance.

    I make a point of regularly cleaning out my feed reader for blogs I subscribe to. Great blogs can be a powerful source of new ideas. But every few months, I realize I’m collecting posts from blogs that I am simply skimming.

    Every few months, purify your input to save time and focus on what counts.

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    8. Learn in Groups

    Lifelong learning doesn’t mean condemning yourself to a stack of dusty textbooks. Join organizations that teach skills.

    Workshops and group learning events can make educating yourself a fun, social experience.

    9. Unlearn Assumptions

    You can’t add water to a full cup. I always try to maintain a distance away from any idea. Too many convictions simply mean too few paths for new ideas.

    Actively seek out information that contradicts your worldview.

    Our minds can’t be trusted, but this is what we can do about it to be wiser.

    10. Find Jobs that Encourage Learning

    Pick a career that encourages continual learning. If you are in a job that doesn’t have much intellectual freedom, consider switching to one that does.

    Don’t spend forty hours of your week in a job that doesn’t challenge you.

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    11. Start a Project

    Set out to do something you don’t know how. Forced learning in this way can be fun and challenging.

    If you don’t know anything about computers, try building one. If you consider yourself a horrible artist, try a painting.

    12. Follow Your Intuition

    Lifelong learning is like wandering through the wilderness. You can’t be sure what to expect and there isn’t always an end goal in mind.

    Letting your intuition guide you can make self-education more enjoyable. Most of our lives have been broken down to completely logical decisions, that making choices on a whim has been stamped out.

    13. The Morning Fifteen

    Productive people always wake up early. Use the first fifteen minutes of your morning as a period for education.

    If you find yourself too groggy, you might want to wait a short time. Just don’t put it off later in the day where urgent activities will push it out of the way.

    14. Reap the Rewards

    Learn information you can use. Understanding the basics of programming allows me to handle projects that other people would require outside help. Meeting a situation that makes use of your educational efforts can be a source of pride.

    15. Make Learning a Priority

    Few external forces are going to persuade you to learn. The desire has to come from within. Once you decide you want to make lifelong learning a habit, it is up to you to make it a priority in your life.

    More About Continuous Learning

    Featured photo credit: Paul Schafer via unsplash.com

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