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Where Do You Find Truth?

Where Do You Find Truth?

    You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. ~Middle Eastern Proverb

    You lie online. It might be a lie to sell something or a lie to make yourself feel better. You might lie to help somebody else or perhaps to make another feel worse. Perhaps you just exaggerate. You brag. That’s not lying, right? That’s just expanding something to be more than it should be. Surely there’s no harm in that?!

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    There probably wouldn’t be any harm if we didn’t live such nuanced lives.

    A required smile is just a glint away from a genuine grin. A really great product is only a few words away from a product that often fails to work. A cool link is a millisecond away from a link we’re sharing just because somebody shared a link of our own.

    It’s all nuance.

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    The truth that lies within you does not arise as some blazing scepter for the world to see. It peeks out in wisps and glimmers through the nuance of your everyday life. It flits about the stream of clicks and characters you produce as you move about and share online.

    Have you seen it? Can you point to a conversation and say, “Aha! There. That is my truth!” or are you forced to rifle through your words and excuse yourself for not lying overtly?

    My sister often makes a joke that, “Everybody runs faster online.” in reference to the ways people lie about things online. But if we allow the behavior of the masses to choose the way in which we share or muzzle our truth, what then? What happens to the community made up of people who only pretend to like each other? Is that a Tribe that will bring about real change in the world or will it end in a disappointing trail of tears?

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    I fear for any community that sets aside truth in the pursuit of short-term goals. I fear for any person who throws away their convictions in the name of fame and glory. Can we not build real communities that trust each other or have we been sucked into an echo chamber that insists community is about the number of people who sign up and has nothing to do with the number that shows up? Are we so jaded as a people that we shall always withhold good things from those who do not make an effort to lie to our faces with caramelized hyperbole?

    Will we continue to lie? Or will we take another look in the mirror and ask our tired reflection to show us a bit of truth?

    If we can find that truth and hold it tightly with unwavering palms, I believe we will find freedom. Not freedom from work, or pain, or tribulation. But freedom from the tiny guilts that gouge away at our joy.

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    When we can look at our conversations and say, “Yes, there is my truth.” I think we’ll discover more grins in our day and hands that reach out to catch us when we start to fall.

    Image: Giampolo Macarig

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    Last Updated on January 2, 2019

    7 Steps For Making a New Year’s Resolution and Keeping It

    7 Steps For Making a New Year’s Resolution and Keeping It

    Are you keen to reinvent yourself this year? Or at least use the new year as a long overdue excuse to get rid of bad habits or pick up new ones?

    Yes, it’s that time of year again. The time of year when we feel as if we have to turn over a new leaf. The time when we misguidedly imagine that the arrival of a new year will magically provide the catalyst, motivation and persistence we need to reinvent ourselves.

    Traditionally, New Year’s Day is styled as the ideal time to kick start a new phase in your life and the time when you must make your all important new year’s resolution. Unfortunately, the beginning of the year is also one of the worst times to make a major change in your habits because it’s often a relatively stressful time, right in the middle of the party and vacation season.

    Don’t set yourself up for failure this year by vowing to make huge changes that will be hard to keep. Instead follow these seven steps for successfully making a new year’s resolution you can stick to for good.

    1. Just pick one thing

    If you want to change your life or your lifestyle don’t try to change the whole thing at once. It won’t work. Instead pick one area of your life to change to begin with.

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    Make it something concrete so you know exactly what change you’re planning to make. If you’re successful with the first change you can go ahead and make another change after a month or so. By making small changes one after the other, you still have the chance to be a whole new you at the end of the year and it’s a much more realistic way of doing it.

    Don’t pick a New Year’s resolution that’s bound to fail either, like running a marathon if you’re 40lbs overweight and get out of breath walking upstairs. If that’s the case resolve to walk every day. When you’ve got that habit down pat you can graduate to running in short bursts, constant running by March or April and a marathon at the end of the year. What’s the one habit you most want to change?

    2. Plan ahead

    To ensure success you need to research the change you’re making and plan ahead so you have the resources available when you need them. Here are a few things you should do to prepare and get all the systems in place ready to make your change.

    Read up on it – Go to the library and get books on the subject. Whether it’s quitting smoking, taking up running or yoga or becoming vegan there are books to help you prepare for it. Or use the Internet. If you do enough research you should even be looking forward to making the change.

    Plan for success – Get everything ready so things will run smoothly. If you’re taking up running make sure you have the trainers, clothes, hat, glasses, ipod loaded with energetic sounds at the ready. Then there can be no excuses.

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    3. Anticipate problems

    There will be problems so make a list of what they’ll be. If you think about it, you’ll be able to anticipate problems at certain times of the day, with specific people or in special situations. Once you’ve identified the times that will probably be hard work out ways to cope with them when they inevitably crop up.

    4. Pick a start date

    You don’t have to make these changes on New Year’s Day. That’s the conventional wisdom, but if you truly want to make changes then pick a day when you know you’ll be well-rested, enthusiastic and surrounded by positive people. I’ll be waiting until my kids go back to school in February.

    Sometimes picking a date doesn’t work. It’s better to wait until your whole mind and body are fully ready to take on the challenge. You’ll know when it is when the time comes.

    5. Go for it

    On the big day go for it 100%. Make a commitment and write it down on a card. You just need one short phrase you can carry in your wallet. Or keep it in your car, by your bed and on your bathroom mirror too for an extra dose of positive reinforcement.

    Your commitment card will say something like:

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    • I enjoy a clean, smoke-free life.
    • I stay calm and in control even under times of stress.
    • I’m committed to learning how to run my own business.
    • I meditate daily.

    6. Accept failure

    If you do fail and sneak a cigarette, miss a walk or shout at the kids one morning don’t hate yourself for it. Make a note of the triggers that caused this set back and vow to learn a lesson from them.

    If you know that alcohol makes you crave cigarettes and oversleep the next day cut back on it. If you know the morning rush before school makes you shout then get up earlier or prepare things the night before to make it easier on you.

    Perseverance is the key to success. Try again, keep trying and you will succeed.

    7. Plan rewards

    Small rewards are great encouragement to keep you going during the hardest first days. After that you can probably reward yourself once a week with a magazine, a long-distance call to a supportive friend, a siesta, a trip to the movies or whatever makes you tick.

    Later you can change the rewards to monthly and then at the end of the year you can pick an anniversary reward. Something that you’ll look forward to. You deserve it and you’ll have earned it.

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    Whatever your plans and goals are for this year, I’d do wish you luck with them but remember, it’s your life and you make your own luck.

    Decide what you want to do this year, plan how to get it and go for it. I’ll definitely be cheering you on.

    Are you planning to make a New Year’s resolution? What is it and is it something you’ve tried to do before or something new?

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