Advertising
Advertising

Six strands for success

Six strands for success

The best way to make a rope strong is to make it by weaving many strands together. The best way to create a strong, satisfying pattern for your life and career is to weave together the six different strands that make up a complete career pattern.

Success isn’t a matter of completing each strand come what may. It’s the balance between the strands that really counts, constantly shifting between them over time. Which is more important today? Which should come first and get most focus now?

  • Strand 1 is formulating a vision for your life and career: a dream of what you could and should become. You need to look way beyond beyond your current life pattern and envision an overall sense of purpose and direction. That’s the trouble. It can seem so insubstantial and vague that many “practical” people dismiss it as nothing more than day-dreaming. Equally, many others enjoy the process so much that they never do anything else.

    Without an overall direction and a clear set of values, you’ll be reduced to making continual, ad hoc decisions. There will never be a clear pattern, leading to a desired life and career goal; everything will be decided on the spur of the moment. You can call it flexibility, spontaneity, or whatever you want, but the truth is that, if you haven’t decided on a long-term direction, just about any direction will do. And if that direction changes constantly, pushed this way and that by random events, why should it matter?

  • Strand 2 needs to take that vision and turn it into a strategy: a set of long-term actions, goals, and personal choices. Your emphasis shifts from what you want from your life and career to deciding what you need to do to make those dreams come true—setting a medium to long-term pathway to deliver sustainable change and fulfill your hopes. Many people are so excited by their vision of the future that it seems almost sacrilegious to come down from the mountain and to apply commonsense and reality to what it’s going to take to turn that vision in real events. They fondly imagine that the power of the vision alone—some magical power of intention and longing—is going to make it all happen without the humdrum business of creating plans, making choices, finding ways around obstacles, and generally doing what needs to be done until the goal is reached.

    Every few years, some variant on the power of positive thinking hits the bookshelves: some fresh take on the mystical notion that intention alone can change your life. It’s snapped up by dreamers hungry for an escape from the boring realities of continual effort and setbacks. Does it work? Only to the extent that it provides some initial enthusiasm and stimulus. After a while, reality steps back in and the fuss dies down . . . ready to make a millionaire of another guru with the same idea in fix years or so.

  • Strand 3 is having the courage to make the actual changes needed to turn your strategy (which is, after all, just a set of broad ideas and goals) into actions. When people get stuck with Stand 2 and don’t move on to Strand 3, they spend their lives creating strategy after strategy. Maybe many of them—perhaps even all of them—are great; full of exciting thoughts and limitless possibilities. Yet none will ever become reality, since their creator is stuck inside his or her head, polishing ideas and doing very little else. In the end, all the strategizing becomes a substitute for action.

    That’s often the fate of people who buy piles of self-help books and programs. They listen and read—and listen and read some more—attend seminars and talk excitedly about the latest ideas for getting your life together. But it never gets beyond talk and reading. It’s more fun to consider possibilities than risk disappointment by trying any of them in an organized way.

  • Strand 4 therefore points to the need for establishing good habits. Habit allows you to do things again and again, making some parts of your life and work predictable and sustainable. It isn’t glamorous. It won’t feel creative or spontaneous, but there’s not much profit in behaving erratically. Many important aspects of life take time to deliver the goods. Education is one. Building credibility is another. If you act like many people do, starting off in a heady state of euphoric enthusiasm only to run out of steam after a fairly short time, your career will be made up of nothing more than a series of great possibilities that didn’t work out. Strand 4 demands building good life habits and making sure that you stick with them for as long as may be needed.
  • Strand 5 is accepting day-to-day responsibility for what happens in your life. It’s part of the basics of managing any career. If it’s neglected, the end will come very quickly. If it’s easy to skip over Strand 5 in favor of more exciting, visionary activities, it’s even easier to try to hand off that responsibility to someone else—usually by following the herd and opting for whatever is fashionable instead of choosing your own, unique path.

    Doing what everyone else does—or expects—easily becomes a way of avoiding responsibility. There are many risks in creating your own way through life. Not the least is that you have to give up blaming others for any setbacks or failures. No whining. No trying to slide out of being accountable for your choices. You need to stand up and accept that it’s your life and you have to be the one who makes it go where you want. No more excuses.

  • Strand 6 is focusing on the present. It’s too easy to fix your mental gaze somewhere in the future and miss what is happening now. Yet now is, ultimately, all there is to enjoy and experience. Now is the only time that you can do anything. You need to pay attention to doing what needs to be done now, when it’s needed. If this strand is weak, you’ll likely spend more time thinking about what you ought to do than doing anything. You’ll keep putting things off to some future date—when it may well be too late. No matter how innovative or determined you are, if Strand 1 is neglected, you probably won’t achieve much. There is only now. The past is gone and cannot be changed. The future has yet to arrive. Now is when your life is happening.
  • Just as the strongest rope is woven from the greatest number of strands, so the strongest and most effective choices for your life and career include all the strands given here. Any that you miss out will weaken your decisions and lower your possibility of success. Don’t be a dreamer, stuck with only Strands 1 and 2. Don’t be a lemming, rushing after everyone else. Don’t be a groupie, constantly looking for the next bandwagon to jump on. Work steadily, weaving all the strands together, and whatever you create will have real strength and staying power.

    Advertising

    Related posts:

    Adrian Savage is a writer, an Englishman, and a retired business executive, in that order. He lives in Tucson, Arizona. You can read his other articles at Slow Leadership, the site for everyone who wants to build a civilized place to work and bring back the taste, zest and satisfaction to leadership and life. His latest book, Slow Leadership: Civilizing The Organization

      , is now available at all good bookstores.
      Advertising

      More by this author

      How to Plan Your Life Goals and Actually Achieve Them in 7 Simple Steps 6 Simple Steps to Make Progress Towards Achieving Goals Seven Budget-Friendly Things to do in San Juan, Puerto Rico 6 Easy Ways to Treat Yourself A Random List of Unique Gifts

      Trending in Featured

      1The Gentle Art of Saying No 26 Proven Ways To Make New Habits Stick 3Simple Productivity: 10 Ways to Do More by Focusing on the Essentials 4Back to Basics: Your Calendar 550 Ways to Increase Productivity and Achieve More in Less Time

      Read Next

      Advertising
      Advertising

      The Gentle Art of Saying No

      The Gentle Art of Saying No

      No!

      It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

      Advertising

      But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

      Advertising

      What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

      Advertising

      But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

      1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
      2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
      3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
      4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
      5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
      6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
      7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
      8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
      9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
      10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

      Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

      Advertising

      Read Next