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How to Get the Kids out the Door in the Morning

How to Get the Kids out the Door in the Morning

    Ask most parents about when their family experiences stress and getting out the door in the morning comes in among the top answers. With the right routine and words, mornings can flow and be one of the happiest times in your family’s day.

    As with any major parenting issue I always look at what routines are set up. Without a solid routine, one that is set up discussed and practiced, most parenting issues cannot be solved.

    Children thrive on routines. They feel comforted by them because they love to know what is coming up next. I liken this to an adult’s feelings of knowing that every April and December there will be a holiday. It’s so comforting to know that each and every year these holidays will be there for us. Can you imagine if one year the holidays constantly changed so that you never knew when your next break would be? Translate that feeling to the way a child feels about their day and I think you’ll understand why routine is so important to them.

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    Routine always gives children a sense of being capable. When they are able to take care of themselves or follow their routine they gain a sense of self-worth. This is a main trait that is needed in order to be resilient. The importance of resiliency is a topic for a whole other article, but it’s worth mentioning here. If we want to raise resilient children we must give them self-worth and the feeling that they are capable and one way to do this is through their routine.

    Getting back to the point at hand, what does a solid morning routine look like? Every family will feel comfortable with their own specialized routine, however in general, here are some actions that need to occur at specific times:

    • Waking up
    • Getting dressed
    • Eating breakfast
    • Brushing Teeth
    • Brushing hair
    • Putting Shoes and Coat on
    • Leaving the House

    Create the time schedule that you think will work best for your family and then share it with your children. If you have children 12 and older then ask for their experiences/suggestions after sharing; they’ll appreciate your respect in asking them. With smaller kids it’s helpful to practice the routine so they get a feel for it. (Like role-play).

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    If you need to use a kitchen timer for certain parts of the routine do so, particularly if you’ve been having difficulties with certain things like dressing. Kids love to beat a clock and appreciate having a clock telling them that time is up rather than their parent’s voice. However, if you haves mall children who are just starting school, skip the timer and see how they do on their own without the timer; the discussing and practicing should be enough.

    One key point to remember when creating your routine is to consider the areas in which your child might struggle. If they have shown that they dawdle while eating breakfast then be sure to have them dress and brush their teeth and hair BEFORE they eat their breakfast. If they tend to dawdle and don’t have time to eat that morning, the natural consequence will be that they’ll be hungry and will rethink their choice the following day. (Be sure to inform their teacher in this instance)

    The last three things that are key to making mornings flow are:

    1) Being organized

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    Be sure to have lunches packed the night before and have backpacks sitting at the exit door ready to receive them in the morning.

    The breakfast option should also be thought through. Could you mix up the eggs, milk, vanilla and cinnamon the night before so all you have to do is dip bread in it for French toast the next morning?

    2) Being calm
    Your mood can change the whole morning. Get a good night’s sleep (in bed by 10pm) and wake up just a bit earlier than the children to allow you to take a few deep breaths or do a quick stretching routine.

    Keep your tone of voice matter-of-fact when you speak to your kids and give lots of smiles and hugs.

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    3) Being consistent

    You must stick to your word if your child makes a choice you wish they wouldn’t have. One or two days of going hungry won’t kill them. Just remember: show no emotion and remain matter-of-fact in your tone – no attitude. If your child senses your emotion or tone, the will respond with a similar type of behavior.

    Finding your own family’s routine and consistently following through on it will help you and your children move through the mornings with ease. Try it. You’ll see and feel the difference!

    Image: a4gpa

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    Last Updated on November 18, 2020

    15 Tips to Restart the Exercise Habit (and How to Keep It)

    15 Tips to Restart the Exercise Habit (and How to Keep It)

    It’s okay, you can finally admit it. It’s been two months since you’ve seen the inside of the gym. Getting sick, family crisis, overtime at work and school papers that needed to get finished all kept you for exercising. Now, the question is: how do you start again?
    Once you have an exercise habit, it becomes automatic. You just go to the gym, there is no force involved. But after a month, two months or possibly a year off, it can be hard to get started again. Here are some tips to climb back on that treadmill after you’ve fallen off.

    1. Don’t Break the Habit – The easiest way to keep things going is simply not to stop. Avoid long breaks in exercising or rebuilding the habit will take some effort. This may be advice a little too late for some people. But if you have an exercise habit going, don’t drop it at the first sign of trouble.
    2. Reward Showing Up – Woody Allen once said that, “Half of life is showing up.” I’d argue that 90% of making a habit is just making the effort to get there. You can worry about your weight, amount of laps you run or the amount you can bench press later.
    3. Commit for Thirty Days – Make a commitment to go every day (even just for 20 minutes) for one month. This will solidify the exercise habit. By making a commitment you also take pressure off yourself in the first weeks back of deciding whether to go.
    4. Make it Fun – If you don’t enjoy yourself at the gym, it is going to be hard to keep it a habit. There are thousands of ways you can move your body and exercise, so don’t give up if you’ve decided lifting weights or doing crunches isn’t for you. Many large fitness centers will offer a range of programs that can suit your tastes.
    5. Schedule During Quiet Hours – Don’t put exercise time in a place where it will easily be pushed aside by something more important. Right after work or first thing in the morning are often good places to put it. Lunch-hour workouts might be too easy to skip if work demands start mounting.
    6. Get a Buddy – Grab a friend to join you. Having a social aspect to exercising can boost your commitment to the exercise habit.
    7. X Your Calendar – One person I know has the habit of drawing a red “X” through any day on the calendar he goes to the gym. The benefit of this is it quickly shows how long it has been since you’ve gone to the gym. Keeping a steady amount of X’s on your calendar is an easy way to motivate yourself.
    8. Enjoyment Before Effort – After you finish any work out, ask yourself what parts you enjoyed and what parts you did not. As a rule, the enjoyable aspects of your workout will get done and the rest will be avoided. By focusing on how you can make workouts more enjoyable, you can make sure you want to keep going to the gym.
    9. Create a Ritual – Your workout routine should become so ingrained that it becomes a ritual. This means that the time of day, place or cue automatically starts you towards grabbing your bag and heading out. If your workout times are completely random, it will be harder to benefit from the momentum of a ritual.
    10. Stress Relief – What do you do when your stressed? Chances are it isn’t running. But exercise can be a great way to relieve stress, releasing endorphin which will improve your mood. The next time you feel stressed or tired, try doing an exercise you enjoy. When stress relief is linked to exercise, it is easy to regain the habit even after a leave of absence.
    11. Measure Fitness – Weight isn’t always the best number to track. Increase in muscle can offset decreases in fat so the scale doesn’t change even if your body is. But fitness improvements are a great way to stay motivated. Recording simple numbers such as the number of push-ups, sit-ups or speed you can run can help you see that the exercise is making you stronger and faster.
    12. Habits First, Equipment Later – Fancy equipment doesn’t create a habit for exercise. Despite this, some people still believe that buying a thousand dollar machine will make up for their inactivity. It won’t. Start building the exercise habit first, only afterwards should you worry about having a personal gym.
    13. Isolate Your Weakness – If falling off the exercise wagon is a common occurrence for you, find out why. Do you not enjoy exercising? Is it a lack of time? Is it feeling self-conscious at the gym? Is it a lack of fitness know-how? As soon as you can isolate your weakness, you can make steps to improve the situation.
    14. Start Small – Trying to run fifteen miles your first workout isn’t a good way to build a habit. Work below your capacity for the first few weeks to build the habit. Otherwise you might scare yourself off after a brutal workout.
    15. Go for Yourself, Not to Impress – Going to the gym with the only goal of looking great is like starting a business with only the goal to make money. The effort can’t justify the results. But if you go to the gym to push yourself, gain energy and have a good time, then you can keep going even when results are slow.

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