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Focusing on four simple questions can be the key to fulfillment

Focusing on four simple questions can be the key to fulfillment

Why finding happiness at work may be less complicated that you think.
Happy girl

Everyone wants to be happy at work. Nearly everyone also wants to feel fulfilled by what they do. The Baby Boomer generation thought they could achieve both of these by hard work, long hours, and (hopefully) hard cash. Many people today are not so sure they were right.

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Their conventional approach at least had the merit of being clearly understandable and easily translated into action. It also proved to have serious drawbacks in terms of delivering either happiness or fulfillment; often providing stress and anxiety in their place as people launched themselves into a frenzy of competitive striving where losers inevitably outnumbered winners.

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I don’t believe that there are any sure-fire recipes for obtaining happiness. It’s too personal a concept. Too much of it relies on chance elements like genetic make-up, early family circumstances, and social background. The best that anyone can do, in my opinion, is make sure that they don’t choose a path that is more likely to squash opportunities for happiness that create them—which is what my generation, the Baby Boomers, has done on a massive scale.

So here’s my alternative approach. It has less to do with grim effort and following a set of rules and much more to do with creating the circumstances in which happiness and fulfillment can arise by themselves. And, since it neither prescribes what happiness is, nor assumes that what makes me happy will do the same for you, it at least has the merit of being applicable to almost anyone’s circumstances.

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The approach is based on providing guidelines for answering the four commonest questions that people ask:

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  • What should I do with my life?
  • What should I avoid?
  • How should I go about doing whatever I choose to do?
  • What else should I leave space for besides work?

What should I do with my life?

  • Do something that gives you a sense of purpose. Empty, meaningless work, however well-paid, is rarely satisfying. At best it should be tolerated only as a temporary means to raise essential cash. At worst it is a form of prostitution. The only purpose that satisfies long-term is based on expressing your deepest values in whatever you do.
  • Only do work that you believe is inherently worth doing. You won’t find self-esteem via a job you despise. Each morning you have to look at your face in the mirror. What kind of person will look back at you? One who is engaged on something worthwhile, or one who is about to spend another 8 hours or more doing something he or she cares nothing about? Do you value yourself so little that you can afford to waste your life in that way?
  • Always do what you are good at doing. It’s the simplest way to enjoy yourself and stand a chance of excelling. I don’t believe that anyone finds happiness through doing work that they’re not very good at, or work that reminds them of their weaknesses on a hourly basis. Forget whether anyone else values your particular strengths. Use them for your own satisfaction and pleasure. You may be surprised how wrong you were about what others would applaud.

What should I avoid?

  • Don’t do anything that gives you a bad conscience. Even if you don’t end up in jail, or shunned and despised by your friends, you’ll spend too much time being anxious about who will find out—and probably hating yourself into the bargain.
  • Don’t do more than is good for your health. No job—no amount of money—is worth harming yourself for, physically or mentally. You won’t be happy if you know you traded your well-being for money and a position you’re now too miserable, sick, or damaged to enjoy. Not only do the ends of life rarely, if ever, justify the means, they won’t compensate you either for the problems using those means may have inflicted on you, your family, your relationships, or your ability to enjoy what you achieved without feeling ashamed.
  • Don’t do things that rob you of your peace of mind. You have to live with yourself and others have to live with you. Inner torment is no path to happiness. Nor is trying to silence personal turmoil with drink, drugs, or conspicuous consumption. This is one situation where that old warning is entirely true: you can run, but you can’t hide. How can you hide from the accusations of your own mind?

How should I go about doing whatever I choose to do?

  • Do it with people you like and respect. The opposite is virtually certain to make your life a misery—and nothing will be an adequate compensation. Jean-Paul Sartre wrote the line: “Hell is other people” (in a 1944 play called No Exit). It’s often true of the workplace too, but only if you allow it to be.
  • Do it with people you trust and who trust you. If you can’t trust those around you, your life will pass in a blur of suspicion and paranoia. If they don’t trust you, you’ll never be given anything worthwhile or important to do.
  • Do it for enough reward to make you feel valued. That’s all you need. More than that won’t make you feel better, and will likely excite jealousy and continual competition to bring you down. One of the reasons why many super-rich people go on working, when they already have more money than they can ever spend, is the fear that, if they stop, they will discover that they are worth nothing except their bank balance. What kind of a life is that?

What else should I leave space for besides work?

  • Time and leisure to enjoy life while you’re living it. Don’t put off enjoying your life until some time in the future. You never know what may happen first. Don’t make your happiness contingent on achieving some longed-for goal. You may find what you sought doesn’t deliver.
  • Time to pursue other interests. People who are single-minded easily become narrow-minded too. An investor who puts all his or her wealth into a single investment is a fool who is asking for trouble. Someone who invests all their happiness in their work is taking an even bigger risk.
  • Time to give enough of yourself to those you love. Do they deserve only what you have left after everyone else has taken all they want? Can you build good enough relationships on putting the demands of your work above their needs? Will they accept money in lieu of your attention? I think you can work out the answers for yourself.

You can’t compel happiness. You can’t buy it—save for the briefest of periods, usually at an exorbitant price. But you can—so very, very easily—drive it away.

Adrian Savage is a writer, an Englishman, and a retired business executive, in that order, who now lives in Tucson, Arizona. You can read his other articles at Slow Leadership, the site for everyone who wants to build a civilized place to work and bring back the taste, zest and satisfaction to leadership and life. Recent articles there on similar topics include Why you should sometimes think very seriously about giving up and Why perfection isn’t a viable goal. His latest book, Slow Leadership: Civilizing The Organization, is now available at all good bookstores.

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

7 Simple Rules to Live by to Get in Shape in Two Weeks

7 Simple Rules to Live by to Get in Shape in Two Weeks

Learning how to get in shape and set goals is important if you’re looking to live a healthier lifestyle and get closer to your goal weight. While this does require changes to your daily routine, you’ll find that you are able to look and feel better in only two weeks.

Over the years, I’ve learned a lot about what it takes to get in shape. Although anyone can cover the basics (eat right and exercise), there are some things that I could only learn through trial and error. Let’s cover some of the most important points for how to get in shape in two weeks.

1. Exercise Daily

It is far easier to make exercise a habit if it is a daily one. If you aren’t exercising at all, I recommend starting by exercising a half hour every day. When you only exercise a couple times per week, it is much easier to turn one day off into three days off, a week off, or a month off.

If you are already used to exercising, switching to three or four times a week to fit your schedule may be preferable, but it is a lot harder to maintain a workout program you don’t do every day.

Be careful to not repeat the same exercise routine each day. If you do an intense ab workout one day, try switching it up to general cardio the next. You can also squeeze in a day of light walking to break up the intensity.

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If you’re a morning person, check out these morning exercises that will start your day off right.

2. Duration Doesn’t Substitute for Intensity

Once you get into the habit of regular exercise, where do you go if you still aren’t reaching your goals? Most people will solve the problem by exercising for longer periods of time, turning forty-minute workouts into two hour stretches. Not only does this drain your time, but it doesn’t work particularly well.

One study shows that “exercising for a whole hour instead of a half does not provide any additional loss in either body weight or fat”[1].

This is great news for both your schedule and your levels of motivation. You’ll likely find it much easier to exercise for 30 minutes a day instead of an hour. In those 30 minutes, do your best to up the intensity to your appropriate edge to get the most out of the time.

3. Acknowledge Your Limits

Many people get frustrated when they plateau in their weight loss or muscle gaining goals as they’re learning how to get in shape. Everyone has an equilibrium and genetic set point where their body wants to remain. This doesn’t mean that you can’t achieve your fitness goals, but don’t be too hard on yourself if you are struggling to lose weight or put on muscle.

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Acknowledging a set point doesn’t mean giving up, but it does mean realizing the obstacles you face.

Expect to hit a plateau in your own fitness results[2]. When you expect a plateau, you can manage around it so you can continue your progress at a more realistic rate. When expectations meet reality, you can avoid dietary crashes.

4. Eat Healthy, Not Just Food That Looks Healthy

Know what you eat. Don’t fuss over minutia like whether you’re getting enough Omega 3’s or tryptophan, but be aware of the big things. Look at the foods you eat regularly and figure out whether they are healthy or not. Don’t get fooled by the deceptively healthy snacks just pretending to be good for you.

The basic nutritional advice includes:

  • Eat unprocessed foods
  • Eat more veggies
  • Use meat as a side dish, not a main course
  • Eat whole grains, not refined grains[3]

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Eat whole grains when you want to learn how to get in shape.

    5. Watch Out for Travel

    Don’t let a four-day holiday interfere with your attempts when you’re learning how to get in shape. I don’t mean that you need to follow your diet and exercise plan without any excursion, but when you are in the first few weeks, still forming habits, be careful that a week long break doesn’t terminate your progress.

    This is also true of schedule changes that leave you suddenly busy or make it difficult to exercise. Have a backup plan so you can be consistent, at least for the first month when you are forming habits.

    If travel is on your schedule and can’t be avoided, make an exercise plan before you go[4], and make sure to pack exercise clothes and an exercise mat as motivation to keep you on track.

    6. Start Slow

    Ever start an exercise plan by running ten miles and then puking your guts out? Maybe you aren’t that extreme, but burnout is common early on when learning how to get in shape. You have a lifetime to be healthy, so don’t try to go from couch potato to athletic superstar in a week.

    If you are starting a running regime, for example, run less than you can to start. Starting strength training? Work with less weight than you could theoretically lift. Increasing intensity and pushing yourself can come later when your body becomes comfortable with regular exercise.

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    7. Be Careful When Choosing a Workout Partner

    Should you have a workout partner? That depends. Workout partners can help you stay motivated and make exercising more fun. But they can also stop you from reaching your goals.

    My suggestion would be to have a workout partner, but when you start to plateau (either in physical ability, weight loss/gain, or overall health) and you haven’t reached your goals, consider mixing things up a bit.

    If you plateau, you may need to make changes to continue improving. In this case it’s important to talk to your workout partner about the changes you want to make, and if they don’t seem motivated to continue, offer a thirty day break where you both try different activities.

    I notice that guys working out together tend to match strength after a brief adjustment phase. Even if both are trying to improve, something seems to stall improvement once they reach a certain point. I found that I was able to lift as much as 30-50% more after taking a short break from my regular workout partner.

    Final Thoughts

    Learning how to get in shape in as little as two weeks sounds daunting, but if you’re motivated and have the time and energy to devote to it, it’s certainly possible.

    Find an exercise routine that works for you, eat healthy, drink lots of water, and watch as the transformation begins.

    More Tips on Getting in Shape

    Featured photo credit: Alexander Redl via unsplash.com

    Reference

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