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Don’t Buy Self-Help Books With These 5 Traits

Don’t Buy Self-Help Books With These 5 Traits

Being a shy kid I always tried to fit into the realm of social consciousness and I desperately sought various self-help books to give me a hand. Initially I read crap which basically attracted me with titles like, “How to understand woman?” or “How to know that the other person loves you?” My frustration grew until I began to decipher the inherent meaning of life (my life) by reading classics and biographies that touched my heart and mind. Since then the self-help books are out of  my way, and even though they exist in heaps – trying to lure me in with their “helpful” titles, I’m immune. If you are feeling vulnerable to their promises, beware.

We all need a little help. Sometimes, we need reassurance — or a plan. Self-help books can give us the guidance we often seek. But they can also be a treasure trove of absolute horse manure. Here’s how to tell the difference.

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Do not buy a book if they claim “Personal Action” is not necessary

Self-help is such a paradoxical term. When you are seeking help from outside sources, it is supposed to be termed as help; self-help is something which you do to yourself. So whatever you read, the action has to be taken by you. If any self-help book claims it is unnecessary, simply ignore it. Nothing is possible without effort by you. To put it simply, your life is the fruit of your own doing.

Do not buy if they claim “Magic” happens

Nothing happens in a whiff of second. Behind all great achievements lies patience and perseverance. If any of the self-help books claim the above reason, simply chuck it. The mystery of life is beyond all human conception. So if someone claims something magical happens; it’s just a marketing strategy to sell the book. Nobody knows the secret but a good self-help book can unlock the potential in you to discover that penultimate secret.

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Do not buy if they are not backed up with authentic life experience

If the influence of a vital person inspires you there is no doubt about it. Sometimes the life experiences of others may guide you in conflict, but not always. When any book is based on authentic life experience, just buy it; it is precious. The wisdom of their entire life in the book helps you to gain the same wisdom by just reading it instead of living and learning by yourself.

Do not buy if they are not backed up by considerable research

“Research is to see what everybody else has seen, and to think what nobody else has thought” said Albert Szent-Gyorgyi. People who do research are passionate to seek answers. They just want to share their passion not to sell it. So, if the book is backed up by considerable research and if that fits to your context, just buy them. There is now a fine line between real research and what’s actually full of crap. And it’s ironic that they’re all supposed to help you. Beware.

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Do not buy, if they claim themselves to be “Bestsellers”

Beware of bestsellers, each of them has different context. Consider authentic ones by your own research. Every bestseller may not be a great book but a great book is always a bestseller. The self-help world has been so intertwined with entrepreneurship that simple ideas of positivity and honesty have been tainted. Having a handful of money and hiring a good PR firm can make any book a “bestseller.” So beware of those, read reviews, if possible, before purchasing a book.

For what it’s worth, we are all human beings and nobody is perfect. It’s perfectly all right not to get caught in the realm of social consciousness. Try to seek help from self-help books but also remember, “It is in you to be or not to be.” The world is full of people who have stopped listening to themselves.

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KAMAL SUCHARAN BURRI

Founding Director, Newlight Cinemas

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

Becoming Self-Taught (The How-To Guide)

Becoming Self-Taught (The How-To Guide)

Most of the skills I use to make a living are skills I’ve learned on my own: Web design, desktop publishing, marketing, personal productivity skills, even teaching! And most of what I know about science, politics, computers, art, guitar-playing, world history, writing, and a dozen other topics, I’ve picked up outside of any formal education.

This is not to toot my own horn at all; if you stop to think about it, much of what you know how to do you’ve picked up on your own. But we rarely think about the process of becoming self-taught. This is too bad, because often, we shy away from things we don’t know how to do without stopping to think about how we might learn it — in many cases, fairly easily.

The way you approach the world around you dictates to a great degree whether you will find learning something new easy or hard.

The Keys to Learning Anything Easily

Learning comes easily to people who have developed:

Curiosity

Being curious means you look forward to learning new things and are troubled by gaps in your understanding of the world. New words and ideas are received as challenges and the work of understanding them is embraced.

People who lack curiosity see learning new things as a chore — or worse, as beyond their capacities.

Patience

Depending on the complexity of a topic, learning something new can take a long time. And it’s bound to be frustrating as you grapple with new terminologies, new models, and apparently irrelevant information.

When you are learning something by yourself, there is nobody to control the flow of information, to make sure you move from basic knowledge to intermediate and finally advanced concepts.

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Patience with your topic, and more importantly with yourself is crucial — there’s no field of knowledge that someone in the world hasn’t managed to learn, starting from exactly where you are.

A Feeling for Connectedness

This is the hardest talent to cultivate, and is where most people flounder when approaching a new topic.

A new body of knowledge is always easiest to learn if you can figure out the way it connects to what you already know. For years, I struggled with calculus in college until one day, my chemistry professor demonstrated how to do half-life calculations using integrals. From then on, calculus came much easier, because I had made a connection between a concept I understood well (the chemistry of half-lifes) and a field I had always struggled in (higher maths).

The more you look for and pay attention to the connections between different fields, the more readily your mind will be able to latch onto new concepts.

How to Self-Taught Effectively

With a learning attitude in place, working your way into a new topic is simply a matter of research, practice, networking, and scheduling:

1. Research

Of course, the most important step in learning something new is actually finding out stuff about it. I tend to go through three distinct phases when I’m teaching myself a new topic:

Learning the Basics

Start as all things start today: Google it! Somehow people managed to learn before Google ( I learned HTML when Altavista was the best we got!) but nowadays a well-formed search on Google will get you a wealth of information on any topic in seconds.

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Surfing Wikipedia articles is a great way to get a basic grounding in a new field, too — and usually the Wikipedia entry for your search term will be on the first page of your Google search.

What I look for is basic information and then the work of experts — blogs by researchers in a field, forums about a topic, organizational websites, magazines. I subscribe to a bunch of RSS feeds to keep up with new material as it’s posted, I print out articles to read in-depth later, and I look for the names of top authors or top books in the field.

Hitting the Books

Once I have a good outline of a field of knowledge, I hit the library. I look up the key names and titles I came across online, and then scan the shelves around those titles for other books that look interesting.

Then, I go to the children’s section of the library and look up the same call numbers — a good overview for teens is probably going to be clearer, more concise, and more geared towards learning than many adult books.

Long-Term Reference

While I’m reading my stack of books from the library, I start keeping my eyes out for books I will want to give a permanent place on my shelves. I check online and brick-and-mortar bookstores, but also search thrift stores, used bookstores, library book sales, garage sales, wherever I happen to find myself in the presence of books.

My goal is a collection of reference manuals and top books that I will come back to either to answer thorny questions or to refresh my knowledge as I put new skills into practice. And to do this cheaply and quickly.

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2. Practice

Putting new knowledges into practice helps us develop better understandings now and remember more later. Although a lot of books offer exercises and self-tests, I prefer to jump right in and build something: a website, an essay, a desk, whatever.

A great way to put any new body of knowledge into action is to start a blog on it — put it out there for the world to see and comment on.

Just don’t lock your learning up in your head where nobody ever sees how much you know about something, and you never see how much you still don’t know.

Check out this guide for useful techniques to help you practice efficiently: The Beginner’s Guide to Deliberate Practice

3. Network

One of the most powerful sources of knowledge and understanding in my life have been the social networks I have become embedded in over the years — the websites I write on, the LISTSERV I belong to, the people I talk with and present alongside at conferences, my colleagues in the department where I studied and the department where I now teach, and so on.

These networks are crucial to extending my knowledge in areas I am already involved, and for referring me to contacts in areas where I have no prior experience. Joining an email list, emailing someone working in the field, asking colleagues for recommendations, all are useful ways of getting a foothold in a new field.

Networking also allows you to test your newly-acquired knowledge against others’ understandings, giving you a chance to grow and further develop.

Here find out How to Network So You’ll Get Way Ahead in Your Professional Life.

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4. Schedule

For anything more complex than a simple overview, it pays to schedule time to commit to learning. Having the books on the shelf, the top websites bookmarked, and a string of contacts does no good if you don’t give yourself time to focus on reading, digesting, and implementing your knowledge.

Give yourself a deadline, even if there is no externally imposed time limit, and work out a schedule to reach that deadline.

Final Thoughts

In a sense, even formal education is a form of self-guided learning — in the end, a teacher can only suggest and encourage a path to learning, at best cutting out some of the work of finding reliable sources to learn from.

If you’re already working, or have a range of interests beside the purely academic, formal instruction may be too inconvenient or too expensive to undertake. That doesn’t mean you have to set aside the possibility of learning, though; history is full of self-taught successes.

At its best, even a formal education is meant to prepare you for a life of self-guided learning; with the power of the Internet and the mass media at our disposal, there’s really no reason not to follow your muse wherever it may lead.

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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