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Do Not Neglect Your Personal Space in Pursuit of Your Dreams

Do Not Neglect Your Personal Space in Pursuit of Your Dreams
Shoe, Relax

While pursuing your dreams, there are times that you get so engrossed in your own worries, anxieties and challenges that you forget that the real reason why you work hard is to be able to do what you really want in life. These aspects could include playing golf, going on a trek or spending time with your family and kids.

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The amount of time that each person has is the same. It is the manner in which we divide and segregate the time that dictates how successful we shall be in our work and personal lives. There can be no distinct demarcation in your time when it comes to thoughts. There are times in office that you take a break and plan a vacation with travel agent or have a chat with your colleague about your child. You may even discus certain personal things about your dreams and how you hope that the official work that you do shall help you achieve those dreams. There is nothing wrong with that.

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On the other hand there are likely to be times when you are home with your family and you discover that you have been subconsciously thinking of a nagging problem that you have had at work. In fact there are times when solutions occur to you at the strangest of times when you are not actively thinking about them and least expect them to pop up.

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Though this intermingling of business and personal thoughts and time is all fine, one thing that you need to avoid like plague is the practice of bringing your work worries and anxieties back home. Don’t think of your personal issues at work either. These worries do not allow you to extract the best out of the present moment and make you less efficient.

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Have you seen anyone repent that he has not spent a considerable amount of time at work. You will, however, come across many people who feel that they should have spent more with their kids when they were growing up.

Don’t let business emergencies disrupt your personal plans; whether it is a commitment to your child to attend his football match or a commitment to yourself to go to the gym every evening. Jobs and emergencies along with them are transient but your time and your family and those who are important to you stay with you for life. So learn to appreciate them and spend some quality time with them to ensure that you feel satisfied and complete.

Vishal P. Rao runs the Work at Home forum, an online community of those who work from home.

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

Why Do I Have Bad Luck? 2 Simple Things to Change Your Destiny

Why Do I Have Bad Luck? 2 Simple Things to Change Your Destiny

Are you one of those people who are always suffering setbacks? Does little ever seem to go right for you? Do you sometimes feel that the universe is out to get you? Do you wonder:

Why do I have bad luck?

Let me let you into a secret:

Your luck is no worse—and no better—than anyone else’s. It just feels that way. Better still, there are two simple things you can do which will reverse your feelings of being unlucky.

1. Stop believing that what happens in your life is down to the vagaries of luck, destiny, supernatural forces, malevolent other people, or anything else outside your self.

Psychologists call this “external locus of control.” It’s a kind of fatalism, where people believe that they can do little or nothing personally to change their lives.

Because of this, they either merely hope for the best, focus on trying to change their luck by various kinds of superstition, or submit passively to whatever comes—while complaining that it doesn’t match their hopes.

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Most successful people take the opposite view. They have “internal locus of control.” They believe that what happens in their life is nearly all down to them; and that even when chance events occur, what is important is not the event itself, but how you respond to it.

This makes them pro-active, engaged, ready to try new things, and keen to find the means to change whatever in their lives they don’t like.

They aren’t fatalistic and they don’t blame bad luck for what isn’t right in their world. They look for a way to make things better.

Are they luckier than the others? Of course not.

Luck is random—that’s what chance means—so they are just as likely to suffer setbacks as anyone else.

What’s different is their response. When things go wrong, they quickly look for ways to put them right. They don’t whine, pity themselves, or complain about “bad luck.” They try to learn from what happened to avoid or correct it next time and get on with living their life as best they can.

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No one is habitually luckier or unluckier than anyone else. It may seem so, over the short term (Random events often come in groups, just as random numbers often lie close together for several instances—which is why gamblers tend to see patterns where none exist).

When you take a longer perspective, random chance is just . . . random. Yet those who feel that they are less lucky, typically pay far more attention to short-term instances of bad luck, convincing themselves of the correctness of their belief.

Your locus of control isn’t genetic. You learned it somehow. If it isn’t working for you, change it.

2. Remember that whatever you pay attention to grows in your mind.

If you focus on what’s going wrong in your life—especially if you see it as “bad luck” you can do nothing about—it will seem blacker and more malevolent.

In a short time, you’ll become so convinced that everything is against you that you’ll notice more and more instances where this appears to be true. As a result, you will almost certainly stop trying, convinced that nothing you can do will improve your prospects.

Fatalism feeds on itself until people become passive “victims” of life’s blows. The “losers” in life are those who are convinced they will fail before they start anything; sure that their “bad luck” will ruin any prospects of success.

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They rarely notice that the true reasons for their failure are ignorance, laziness, lack of skill, lack of forethought, or just plain foolishness—all of which they could do something to correct, if only they would stop blaming other people or “bad luck” for their personal deficiencies.

Your attention is under your control. Send it where you want it to go. Starve the negative thoughts until they die.

To improve your fortune, first decide that what happens is nearly always down to you; then try focusing on what works and what turns out well, not the bad stuff.

Your “fate” really does depend on the choices that you make. When random events happen, as they always will, do you choose to try to turn them to your advantage or just complain about them?

Thomas Jefferson is said to have used these words:

“I’m a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson said:

“Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect.”

Your luck, in the end, is pretty much what you choose it to be.

Featured photo credit: LoboStudio Hamburg via unsplash.com

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