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Create More Positive Experiences in Your Life

Create More Positive Experiences in Your Life
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    There is evidence that shows that by keeping yourself engaged in things that you enjoy can actually increase your self-confidence and true worth. If you are doing things that you enjoy and are with people who are absorbing, life will tend to be more fulfilling as an individual.

    If you already do not know what enthralls you, try and find out more about yourself. Try out new activities and you will finally discover something that you have a passion for. There are various things that you can explore. Painting, reading, music, coaching, swimming, aerobics, handicraft, pottery, bead designs, scrapbook making are just some of them that comes to mind immediately.

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    Don’t ignore your own needs. Try and pamper yourself with giving these positive activities as much importance as a business appointment or an appointment to the pediatrician.

    Just as engrossing yourself in passion-filled activities can be rewarding to your self-worth, so can positive people. People who praise you for your efforts and achievements, accept you for what you are, motivate you by positive remarks and elevate your moods are some of the people you should look out for. Spending time with such people can ensure that you start to appreciate what you yourself are capable of.

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    To give you an example of engaging people consider this incident. When a colleague of mine called up his supervisor to explain how he had was dreading the thought of getting back to work after a vacation, the reply was not a ‘stop whining and get back command’, but something totally unexpected and pleasant. He was told that his feelings show that he had a great time on his vacation and that he should plan to do it again sometime.

    Positive people can turn around a seemingly negative thought into a positive one just because they have so much positive energy around them. Their own self-confidence and good nature ensure that everyone in and around them receive a rub off.

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    So don’t wait for the next time that you feel low to think of what to do to pamper yourself. Make it a part of your life to include engrossing activities and seek out positive people to spend time with to ensure that you emerge as a winner yourself.

    Vishal P. Rao runs the Work at Home Forum, an online community of those who work from home.

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    Last Updated on September 17, 2018

    Why Do I Have Bad Luck? 2 Simple Things to Change Your Destiny

    Why Do I Have Bad Luck? 2 Simple Things to Change Your Destiny

    Are you one of those people who are always suffering setbacks? Does little ever seem to go right for you? Do you sometimes feel that the universe is out to get you? Do you wonder:

    Why do I have bad luck?

    Let me let you into a secret:

    Your luck is no worse—and no better—than anyone else’s. It just feels that way. Better still, there are two simple things you can do which will reverse your feelings of being unlucky.

    1. Stop believing that what happens in your life is down to the vagaries of luck, destiny, supernatural forces, malevolent other people, or anything else outside your self.

    Psychologists call this “external locus of control.” It’s a kind of fatalism, where people believe that they can do little or nothing personally to change their lives.

    Because of this, they either merely hope for the best, focus on trying to change their luck by various kinds of superstition, or submit passively to whatever comes—while complaining that it doesn’t match their hopes.

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    Most successful people take the opposite view. They have “internal locus of control.” They believe that what happens in their life is nearly all down to them; and that even when chance events occur, what is important is not the event itself, but how you respond to it.

    This makes them pro-active, engaged, ready to try new things, and keen to find the means to change whatever in their lives they don’t like.

    They aren’t fatalistic and they don’t blame bad luck for what isn’t right in their world. They look for a way to make things better.

    Are they luckier than the others? Of course not.

    Luck is random—that’s what chance means—so they are just as likely to suffer setbacks as anyone else.

    What’s different is their response. When things go wrong, they quickly look for ways to put them right. They don’t whine, pity themselves, or complain about “bad luck.” They try to learn from what happened to avoid or correct it next time and get on with living their life as best they can.

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    No one is habitually luckier or unluckier than anyone else. It may seem so, over the short term (Random events often come in groups, just as random numbers often lie close together for several instances—which is why gamblers tend to see patterns where none exist).

    When you take a longer perspective, random chance is just . . . random. Yet those who feel that they are less lucky, typically pay far more attention to short-term instances of bad luck, convincing themselves of the correctness of their belief.

    Your locus of control isn’t genetic. You learned it somehow. If it isn’t working for you, change it.

    2. Remember that whatever you pay attention to grows in your mind.

    If you focus on what’s going wrong in your life—especially if you see it as “bad luck” you can do nothing about—it will seem blacker and more malevolent.

    In a short time, you’ll become so convinced that everything is against you that you’ll notice more and more instances where this appears to be true. As a result, you will almost certainly stop trying, convinced that nothing you can do will improve your prospects.

    Fatalism feeds on itself until people become passive “victims” of life’s blows. The “losers” in life are those who are convinced they will fail before they start anything; sure that their “bad luck” will ruin any prospects of success.

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    They rarely notice that the true reasons for their failure are ignorance, laziness, lack of skill, lack of forethought, or just plain foolishness—all of which they could do something to correct, if only they would stop blaming other people or “bad luck” for their personal deficiencies.

    Your attention is under your control. Send it where you want it to go. Starve the negative thoughts until they die.

    To improve your fortune, first decide that what happens is nearly always down to you; then try focusing on what works and what turns out well, not the bad stuff.

    Your “fate” really does depend on the choices that you make. When random events happen, as they always will, do you choose to try to turn them to your advantage or just complain about them?

    Thomas Jefferson is said to have used these words:

    “I’m a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.”

    Ralph Waldo Emerson said:

    “Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect.”

    Your luck, in the end, is pretty much what you choose it to be.

    Featured photo credit: LoboStudio Hamburg via unsplash.com

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