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Confrontation is the Big Brother of Productivity

Confrontation is the Big Brother of Productivity
Confrontation

No. I repeat this simple word many times each day, in a variety of volumes and with relative efficacy. My three young children are used to me saying no but are keen to keep me in line in case I abuse the word or just get in the habit of saying no under the banner of being a “good parent”. When I’m at home, no is easy. At work, it’s another story altogether.

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“No may be the word we need most in today’s times,” said negotiator William Ury, author of The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes. When you consider the consequences of confronting a coworker and the very real possibility of fallout in the days that follow, saying no is serious business indeed. I once confronted a colleague for his verbal abuse of a secretary and the result was predictable- he denied the whole thing and resented the fact that I called him out on it. What follow are some pointers when it comes to confronting the person who is way out of line.

Step back and “Go to the Balcony”. Ury uses this phrase as a way of encouraging poise under pressure. Someone has just offended you or said something completely out of line so how should you respond? Step back, take a breath and respond with calm and composure. Going “to the balcony” indicates a need to get away from the situation, if even for a moment. Maybe it’s taking a deep breath or putting your fingers to your temples. It might require you to leave the room and walk down the hall. The key is to avoid an emotional reaction and choose instead a rational response.

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Trust Your Gut. In the situation that I described earlier, I went with my gut which told me that a secretary had just been chewed out for no apparent reason. Instead of sweeping it under the rug as just a “bad day” for the offender, I marched right up to his room and spoke directly to him. Remember this: if it seems like a situation of abuse, neglect or outright workplace arrogance, it probably is. How to respond is the real question.
Give Him/Her a Chance to Speak. You’ve just witnessed a colleague get trashed in a public meeting so what do you do? You could walk right up to your boss and let her have it, launching verbal hand grenades and mincing no words. On the other hand, you could also request a meeting behind closed doors, outline what you witnessed and then give her a chance to respond. I’ve found that the simple stating of your case opens the other person to their case, ultimately leading to a better conversation.

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Respond Truthfully. Confronting someone at work takes tact and confidence and you may choose to forgo that difficult conversation this time in favor of a better time or place at another time. Without getting into “confrontation procrastination”, speak truthfully when the time is right. If you have a reservoir of respect with your boss or colleague, they’ll listen to your perspective 9 out of 10 times. Sometimes we’re tempted to backtrack because we want to be nice but it’s truth that ultimately teaches us best, not just being nice.

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Follow-through is Key. Holding grudges is absolutely off limits when it comes to moving on and following through. You’ve made your case, now move on. Don’t worry about how well it went or how much they empathized with you. Should they choose to ignore your perspective, they’ll only find themselves in hot water down the road.
Standing up for “the little guy” is hard work, especially if that guy is you. Sure, life would be easier if we all got along but saying no might be just the ticket for you and your organization. It’s often the uncomfortably truthful conversation that leads to a deeper level of growth and productivity.

Mike St. Pierre blogs about productivity and life balance at www.thedailysaint.com

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Last Updated on May 12, 2020

8 Steps to Continuous Self Motivation Even During the Difficult Times

8 Steps to Continuous Self Motivation Even During the Difficult Times

Many of us find ourselves in motivational slumps that we have to work to get out of. Sometimes it’s like a continuous cycle where we are motivated for a period of time, fall out and then have to build things back up again.

There is nothing more powerful for self-motivation than the right attitude. You can’t choose or control your circumstance, but you can choose your attitude towards your circumstances.

How I see this working is while you’re developing these mental steps, and utilizing them regularly, self-motivation will come naturally when you need it.

The key, for me, is hitting the final step to Share With Others. It can be somewhat addictive and self-motivating when you help others who are having trouble.

A good way to have self motivation continuously is to implement something like these 8 steps from Ian McKenzie.[1] I enjoyed Ian’s article but thought it could use some definition when it comes to trying to build a continuous drive of motivation. Here is a new list on how to self motivate:

1. Start Simple

Keep motivators around your work area – things that give you that initial spark to get going.

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These motivators will be the Triggers that remind you to get going.

2. Keep Good Company

Make more regular encounters with positive and motivated people. This could be as simple as IM chats with peers or a quick discussion with a friend who likes sharing ideas.

Positive and motivated people are very different from the negative ones. They will help you grow and see opportunities during tough times.

Here’re more reasons why you should avoid negative people: 10 Reasons Why You Should Avoid Negative People

3. Keep Learning

Read and try to take in everything you can. The more you learn, the more confident you become in starting projects.

You can train yourself to crave lifelong learning with these tips: How to Develop a Lifelong Learning Habit

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4. See the Good in Bad

When encountering obstacles or challenging goals, you want to be in the habit of finding what works to get over them.

Here are 10 tips to make positive thinking easy.

5. Stop Thinking

Just do. If you find motivation for a particular project lacking, try getting started on something else. Something trivial even, then you’ll develop the momentum to begin the more important stuff.

When you’re thinking and worrying about it too much, you’re just wasting time. These tried worry busting techniques can help you.

6. Know Yourself

Keep notes on when your motivation sucks and when you feel like a superstar. There will be a pattern that, once you are aware of, you can work around and develop.

Read for yourself how the magic of marking down your mood works.

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7. Track Your Progress

Keep a tally or a progress bar for ongoing projects. When you see something growing, you will always want to nurture it.

Take a look at these 4 simple ways to track your progress so you have motivation to achieve your goals.

8. Help Others

Share your ideas and help friends get motivated. Seeing others do well will motivate you to do the same. Write about your success and get feedback from readers.

Helping others actually helps yourself, here’s why.

What I would hope happens here is you will gradually develop certain skills that become motivational habits.

Once you get to the stage where you are regularly helping others keep motivated – be it with a blog or talking with peers – you’ll find the cycle continuing where each facet of staying motivated is refined and developed.

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Too Many Steps?

If you could only take one step? Just do it!

Once you get started on something, you’ll almost always just get into it and keep going. There will be times when you have to do things you really don’t want to: that’s where the other steps and tips from other writers come in handy.

However, the most important thing, that I think is worth repeating, is to just get started.

Get that momentum going and then when you need to, take Ian’s Step 7 and Take A Break. No one wants to work all the time!

More Tips for Boosting Motivation

Featured photo credit: Japheth Mast via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Ian McKenzie: 8 mental steps to self-motivation

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