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An Interview with Your Favorite Person – Yourself

An Interview with Your Favorite Person – Yourself
Mirror - Interview

    When was the last time you had a good conversation with yourself? I mean a full-on, I’m a crazy person, talking out loud, discussion with yourself?

    You actually talk to yourself all the time. Most of it is subconscious, and a lot of it is negative and cautionary. But what about taking the time to really ask yourself some serious questions?

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    The Interview

    It’s our very nature to think of ourselves first. Often, we do for others, but it’s important to look out for our own dreams and goals.

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    Good interviewers ask basic questions. Great interviewers ask poignant questions, those that get to the real soul of the person. We usually think we know ourselves pretty well. To really get to know yourself – your hopes, dreams, fears – you have to ask. I know it sounds crazy, but it works.

    Set aside some time when you won’t be disturbed. Put on some music – something calming. Get out some paper and a pen, and begin interviewing yourself. You can also use a voice recorder, but a computer may hinder the process. It may be too tempting to fire up your browser or IM client in the middle of the discussion. I mean, you’re talking to yourself, and you don’t mind. But stick to paper and pen or a recorder.

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    Then just start asking and answering questions – out loud. This is why you should be alone. You don’t want someone calling the asylum on you. You’re going to feel stupid and you’re going to feel weird. That’s okay and natural.

    Just ask and answer – really do it right. Think of it as for a podcast or TV morning show. The better the questions, the more reflective you get, and the more insightful the answers.

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    The subject can be specific, or all over the place. This is your interview and the ultimate goal is to really get to know who you are today. It’s too common to assume we are the same person we were a year ago, or 10 years ago.

    By taking some time to talk to yourself, you can move through blocks that hinder your productivity, financial situation, and outlook. It’s one of the best ways to get to know the person closest to you – the real you.

    Tony D. Clark writes, draws cartoons, designs software and websites, and spends a lot of time talking others into working from home, being creative, and doing what they love. His blog Success from the Nest helps people to design and run a home-based business that is in line with their unique gifts, values, personality, and world-view – all served up with humor and cartoons.

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    The Gentle Art of Saying No

    The Gentle Art of Saying No

    No!

    It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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    But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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    What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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    But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

    1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
    2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
    3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
    4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
    5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
    6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
    7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
    8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
    9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
    10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

    Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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