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5 Topics To Address When Talking With Your Partner About Starting A Business

5 Topics To Address When Talking With Your Partner About Starting A Business

couple

    One of the most important steps (if not the most important one) you can take when starting a business is to talk with your partner/spouse before you embark on your adventure. It’s absolutely crucial to have your partner with you on the same page when you start a business. Without their support and “buy-in,” in the long run you’ll end up sacrificing your success, your relationship, or both. Save your marriage and your business by talking to your partner and coming to agreement about these issues.

    Before heading into any conversation, make sure you have your “ducks in a row.” Know how to answer the questions your partner (from this point forward, for ease of use throughout this article, I’ll be using “partner” to refer to your partner in life, which may include a girlfriend/boyfriend or a spouse, and “s/he” to refer to “she/he”) may have. Do your homework and have a plan prepared so your partner can see that you’re serious and know what you’re talking about, but keep your plan flexible enough that your partner can have some input. And remember, these conversations may not be simple, easy, or fast, so set aside enough time to talk to your partner, share your thoughts and feelings, and give your partner a chance to absorb this new information. Be patient, loving, and sincere, and let him/her take the time s/he needs.

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    Money

    Money is the number one reason why people get divorced. That’s why it’s critical that your discussion with your partner includes money. As I suggested in last week’s post, when you first start your business, you’ll want to either save up enough money for you and your family to live on for at least six months or keep your current job and start your business part-time until you can afford to make the transition to full-time. Talk to your partner about your plan and let him/her know that you don’t want to put your family’s security at risk. Your partner may want you to save up more than six months’ worth of living expenses, so keep an open mind as you go into this conversation.

    A great step to take when you’re talking to your partner about money is to sit down together and figure out where you are financially. Dave Ramsey, author of “The Total Money Makeover” suggests that if you want to create financial stability in your life and get out of debt, you should list out all your debts, “get right” with your creditors, save up a $1,000 emergency fund, then start paying off your debts, starting with the smallest ones. If you’re heavily in debt, I highly recommend reading Dave’s book and implementing his strategies to get your financial life straightened out before you start any business. However, remember that you can use a part-time venture to help you pay off your debts. There are several business models that are fairly easy and inexpensive to start and, when implemented properly, can result in enough income to pay down (or off) your debts, and then bring in enough to let you transition into a full-time entrepreneurial life.

    Once you and your partner have figured out where you are financially, discuss the expenses you foresee with your potential business. Talk about the experts you want to hire and the various startup costs you anticipate, and why they’re important to your success. You may want to bring in a business consultant or advisor to talk with you and your partner to help you account for all the possible expenses. I frequently work with couples who want to find a business model that’s appropriate for their financial situation. In some cases, we can jump straight into a business that has higher startup expenses, but in other situations, we design a “leapfrogging” approach that lets them start a lower-risk, lower startup cost venture that brings in enough to fund a more complex business model.

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    You’ll also want to talk with your partner about how long you think it will take before your business is profitable. Many partners hear “I want to start a business” and start to fear that they’re about to head down a road where their partner is throwing money at a business that may never succeed. Remember that your partner may experience this kind of fear and it doesn’t necessarily represent a lack of support as fear and worry about the future.

    The Future

    Talking about the future is important because you want your partner to understand what you hope this business will do for you and your family. You’ll want to talk about what kind of life the two of you want to have together. What are your goals and what is your shared vision for your life together? What do you think the business will do for your family and what will you teach your children (or future children) by having this business? People often fear that the new business will absorb all the time and energy from their partner. Again, this is something to address with care, love, and reassurance.

    The business models I work with tend to require a lot of time in the initial stages, during the startup phase. When you’re building a company and a brand and increase awareness of that brand, you may spend a lot of time working on that company, but as I’ve mentioned in my other articles, most of these business models eventually result in a lot more free time. Knowing that this kind of sacrifice will only happen at the beginning can go a long way toward getting your partner’s support, as will your reassurances that you won’t neglect your family.

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    You’ll also want to talk with your partner about some “what if” scenarios. I advocate positive thinking and believing so strongly in your business idea that you simply don’t allow for the possibility of failure. However, your partner may not see it quite the same way, and realistically, all business don’t succeed. So discuss some “what if everything doesn’t go according to plan” scenarios with your partner and talk about what you’re going to do to mitigate the risk of failure — at what point will you seek  help to make your business work?

    Priorities

    When you start a business, your partner may worry that your business is your top priority. Of course most people want to be important to their partners, in fact they want to be number one!  By talking to your partner with patience, sensitivity, and love, and asking for his/her input, and by including him/her in your plans, you’re already showing your partner how important s/he is to you. But you’ll have to go one step further and let your partner know where your priorities lie.

    You must be willing to set aside the work and give your partner the love and attention s/he needs. That means paying attention to what your partner is telling you and planning ahead. So find out what your partner wants and expects from you and plan ahead to provide that.

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    An example from my own marriage is that when I first started my company, I was working over ten hours a day, seven days a week. I love what I do, and I can get really involved in my work, so I didn’t realize how hard I was working. I only worked that much for a couple of weeks before my husband mentioned it to me and asked when we’d get to spend some time together. Suddenly I realized that, even for a brief time, I’d put a higher priority on my work than on my marriage, and quickly corrected my course. I decided to take every Sunday off and to quit working at a “reasonable” hour (being an hour that we agreed on together), and spend more time with my husband. But a conversation with him before I started would have prevented this from happening at all.

    Risk

    Your partner will most likely be concerned about risk. There are a lot of types of risk, but I think the two people fear the most are personal risk (the emotional consequences of failure) and financial risk. Your partner won’t want you to be crushed if you don’t succeed, so you’ll want to talk about those “what if” scenarios I mentioned earlier. Remember that you and your partner may have different tolerances for risk, so take time to find out how your partner feels about risk and what s/he can handle. Talk about how you’re mitigating and minimizing your risk  and show him/her that you’re planning ahead and really doing your homework. Your partner will feel safer if you’ve considered the possibilities and accounted for what could go wrong.

    How Your Business Will Work

    It’s important that your partner knows that when you run a business, there are activities that seem like they’re not bringing in any income. Tasks like accounting, social networking, checking and replying to e-mails, updating your web site, and other tasks that aren’t your actual “job” may seem to your partner like work you don’t have to do. A friend of mine joked once about the time I spent on social networking sites, thinking I was just having fun all day long. Once I explained that social networking is an activity that keeps me close to my clients and allows me to get to know them as individuals so I can serve them better, she began understand that this is an integral part of my business. Explain to your partner that you’ll do tasks that may seem silly or insignificant, but there’s a reason for them, and be willing to explain what you’re doing and why if and when s/he asks.

    Ultimately, you’ll probably want to have a lot of other conversations with your partner about business, but these are the top five issues I see the most when I work with new entrepreneurs and their partners. The most important things to keep in mind when you talk to your partner are patience, love, sincerity, and understanding. Remember that your partner may initially respond with fear and concern, and don’t get frustrated if s/he doesn’t agree with your plans initially. Just take your time, stick with the conversation, and be flexible and open-minded. Above all, remember that you and your partner love each other. Start and end every business conversation with that thought in your mind and you won’t go wrong.

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    Susan Baroncini-Moe

    Susan Baroncini-Moe is an executive coach and business leader with over sixteen years’ experience.

    How to Find Your Entrepreneurial Passion and Purpose How to Hire A Web Design Firm Are You Having A Scarcity Conversation? 5 Topics To Address When Talking With Your Partner About Starting A Business How to Stay Motivated and On-Track When You’re Struggling

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    Last Updated on September 18, 2020

    7 Simple Rules to Live by to Get in Shape in Two Weeks

    7 Simple Rules to Live by to Get in Shape in Two Weeks

    Learning how to get in shape and set goals is important if you’re looking to live a healthier lifestyle and get closer to your goal weight. While this does require changes to your daily routine, you’ll find that you are able to look and feel better in only two weeks.

    Over the years, I’ve learned a lot about what it takes to get in shape. Although anyone can cover the basics (eat right and exercise), there are some things that I could only learn through trial and error. Let’s cover some of the most important points for how to get in shape in two weeks.

    1. Exercise Daily

    It is far easier to make exercise a habit if it is a daily one. If you aren’t exercising at all, I recommend starting by exercising a half hour every day. When you only exercise a couple times per week, it is much easier to turn one day off into three days off, a week off, or a month off.

    If you are already used to exercising, switching to three or four times a week to fit your schedule may be preferable, but it is a lot harder to maintain a workout program you don’t do every day.

    Be careful to not repeat the same exercise routine each day. If you do an intense ab workout one day, try switching it up to general cardio the next. You can also squeeze in a day of light walking to break up the intensity.

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    If you’re a morning person, check out these morning exercises that will start your day off right.

    2. Duration Doesn’t Substitute for Intensity

    Once you get into the habit of regular exercise, where do you go if you still aren’t reaching your goals? Most people will solve the problem by exercising for longer periods of time, turning forty-minute workouts into two hour stretches. Not only does this drain your time, but it doesn’t work particularly well.

    One study shows that “exercising for a whole hour instead of a half does not provide any additional loss in either body weight or fat”[1].

    This is great news for both your schedule and your levels of motivation. You’ll likely find it much easier to exercise for 30 minutes a day instead of an hour. In those 30 minutes, do your best to up the intensity to your appropriate edge to get the most out of the time.

    3. Acknowledge Your Limits

    Many people get frustrated when they plateau in their weight loss or muscle gaining goals as they’re learning how to get in shape. Everyone has an equilibrium and genetic set point where their body wants to remain. This doesn’t mean that you can’t achieve your fitness goals, but don’t be too hard on yourself if you are struggling to lose weight or put on muscle.

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    Acknowledging a set point doesn’t mean giving up, but it does mean realizing the obstacles you face.

    Expect to hit a plateau in your own fitness results[2]. When you expect a plateau, you can manage around it so you can continue your progress at a more realistic rate. When expectations meet reality, you can avoid dietary crashes.

    4. Eat Healthy, Not Just Food That Looks Healthy

    Know what you eat. Don’t fuss over minutia like whether you’re getting enough Omega 3’s or tryptophan, but be aware of the big things. Look at the foods you eat regularly and figure out whether they are healthy or not. Don’t get fooled by the deceptively healthy snacks just pretending to be good for you.

    The basic nutritional advice includes:

    • Eat unprocessed foods
    • Eat more veggies
    • Use meat as a side dish, not a main course
    • Eat whole grains, not refined grains[3]

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    Eat whole grains when you want to learn how to get in shape.

      5. Watch Out for Travel

      Don’t let a four-day holiday interfere with your attempts when you’re learning how to get in shape. I don’t mean that you need to follow your diet and exercise plan without any excursion, but when you are in the first few weeks, still forming habits, be careful that a week long break doesn’t terminate your progress.

      This is also true of schedule changes that leave you suddenly busy or make it difficult to exercise. Have a backup plan so you can be consistent, at least for the first month when you are forming habits.

      If travel is on your schedule and can’t be avoided, make an exercise plan before you go[4], and make sure to pack exercise clothes and an exercise mat as motivation to keep you on track.

      6. Start Slow

      Ever start an exercise plan by running ten miles and then puking your guts out? Maybe you aren’t that extreme, but burnout is common early on when learning how to get in shape. You have a lifetime to be healthy, so don’t try to go from couch potato to athletic superstar in a week.

      If you are starting a running regime, for example, run less than you can to start. Starting strength training? Work with less weight than you could theoretically lift. Increasing intensity and pushing yourself can come later when your body becomes comfortable with regular exercise.

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      7. Be Careful When Choosing a Workout Partner

      Should you have a workout partner? That depends. Workout partners can help you stay motivated and make exercising more fun. But they can also stop you from reaching your goals.

      My suggestion would be to have a workout partner, but when you start to plateau (either in physical ability, weight loss/gain, or overall health) and you haven’t reached your goals, consider mixing things up a bit.

      If you plateau, you may need to make changes to continue improving. In this case it’s important to talk to your workout partner about the changes you want to make, and if they don’t seem motivated to continue, offer a thirty day break where you both try different activities.

      I notice that guys working out together tend to match strength after a brief adjustment phase. Even if both are trying to improve, something seems to stall improvement once they reach a certain point. I found that I was able to lift as much as 30-50% more after taking a short break from my regular workout partner.

      Final Thoughts

      Learning how to get in shape in as little as two weeks sounds daunting, but if you’re motivated and have the time and energy to devote to it, it’s certainly possible.

      Find an exercise routine that works for you, eat healthy, drink lots of water, and watch as the transformation begins.

      More Tips on Getting in Shape

      Featured photo credit: Alexander Redl via unsplash.com

      Reference

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