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5 MORE Ways to Make Your Computer Work For You (And Not The Other Way Around)

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5 MORE Ways to Make Your Computer Work For You (And Not The Other Way Around)
Make Your Computer Work for You

In my last post, I focused on ways to automate tasks on your computer, from backing up to document writing. Automation is something that computers are especially good at — it is, after all, what they do.

An important part of mastering your computer, though, lies not in the software you use but the attitude you bring to the computer, the worldview that shapes how you interact with it. This isn’t so simple as feeling grumpy or cheerful, but how you think about your work at the computer. Today, I want to focus on practices and attitudes that can help you make better use of your computer — or any other.

1. Get organized

Years ago, I worked at a museum where we got a grant to upgrade all the computers to Windows 98 (they were DOS-based before that). One of the department heads, an older woman who had never been all that comfortable with computers to begin with, had been saving all her documents, for years, to the default C:\ directory. When they upgraded her system, all those files showed up on the desktop. Thousands of them.

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It’s important to have a system in place so you can easily find everything. It doesn’t have to be complex, just consistent. For instance, I start a new folder for every type of project in my life, whether that’s a course I’m teaching, a job I’ve taken on for a client, a website I’m running,a vacation I’m planning, or whatever.So I have folders for “Article Submissions” and “Courses” and “Websites”. I create subfolders for every project large enough to need one; for projects with only a few files, I use the file names to keep everything sorted (see below). After years of resisting Microsoft telling me what to do, I’ve also started using the “My Pictures”, “My Library”, and other “My [Blank]” folders that Windows wants me to use so desperately.

I’ve adopted a standard file naming convention cross most of my files, consisting of either the date followed by a description (for photos and receipts, where I’m likely to remember when I did something) or by project name and description (for documents where I’m more likely to remember what it was for rather than when I made it). For example, all my photo folders have names like “20080331-Lacrosse Game with Uncle Scott”; all my payment receipts look like “20080401-ATT Bill Payment”. In an alphabetical list, the files will retain chronological order. My projects look like “(Lifehack) Post Ideas” or “(Magazine Title) Query Letter”. In my “Article Submissions” folder, then, all the files will line up by the title of the magazine I submitted them to.

2. Use networking

If you have more than one computer in your house, make use of the network for more than just accessing the Internet. You can share files and printers, play music (and often movies), and backup over the network, generally with very little setup.

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In our house, we have 4 computers — two laptops and two desktops. My desktop stays on all the time, and functions as a kind of household server. Every other computer has access to the laser printer attached to my desktop, making printing easy from anywhere in the house. I also have my multimedia folders and my “Documents” folders shared and mapped as drives on my laptop (and the multimedia folders are mapped on the other computers — nobody else needs to get to my documents easily). This allows me to access working files from my laptop anywhere in the house, and everyone to play music from my huge store of mp3s.

Once you start thinking of the computers on your network as servers, you’ll probably come up with a dozen ways to make use of them. For example, install XAMPP and create an intranet for your household — you can run calendars, blogs, photo galleries, just about anything you can do over the Internet you can do within your household network. To make it easier, you can add a line to the HOSTS file (at C:\WINDOWS\SYSTEM32\DRIVERS\etc\HOSTS in most Windows systems) to create an alias for every computer in your system. Open the file in a text editor, find the line that says “127.0.0.1 localhost” and add a line beneath it with the IP address of a computer on your network and a name to call it. My desktop is at 192.168.1.150 (local network IP addresses usually look like 192.168.0.x or 192.1.1.x where “x” is a number identifying the specific computer), so I have an entry that looks like “192.168.1.150 dustin” in the HOSTS file of the other computers. If you type “dustin” into the address bar of a browser on any computer in the house, it goes to the server on my computer. “dustin/wordpress” goes to a WordPress install on my computer, which I use for testing but you could use for a household diary or photo gallery or whatever.

3. Centralize

You’re organized, you’re networked — now you can centralize. Like I said, media files on my computer can be accessed from any computer in the house — so all the media files can go in the same place. (With a suitable backup, of course.) I can access my working files from anywhere in the house on my laptop, and using LogMeIn(the free version) I can access the whole desktop from any computer in the world. So I don’t need to carry a thumb drive with the files I’m working on (except as a backup when I can’t be absolutely sure I’ll have a working Internet connection)or worry about whether a file is on my desktop or my laptop (I use SyncBackto keep my laptop and desktop’s “Documents” directories synchronized).

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Centralization means only one set of files to worry about backing up. It means always knowing where to find a file you need to work on. It means you can access the same files wherever you are. And it means it’s much easier to get a new system set up, or to reinstall an existing system when the inevitable Bad Thing happens.

4. Use the Cloud

I do make one exception to my overall preference for centralization, and that’s using web-based apps. Since LogMeIn requires some installation, I might not always be able to use it (for example, many corporate computers don’t allow the installation of ActiveX programs or FireFox extensions, which you need to run LogMeIn). So I’ve started doing the vast bulk of my writing using online applications, especially Buzzword. I download the “in progress” files to my desktop when I’m at home, for backup. Since you can save a set of pages as your “Home” in most new browsers, I just click “Home” and Buzzword, Google Reader, Gmail, and a few other online apps pop open.

Using the Cloud means that I don’t have to worry about upgrading software, waiting until I can get home to work on a project, or run dozens of programs at the same time. Everything’s right there, in whatever browser I’m using. Although I rarely use Google Documents to create documents anymore, I do quite like the looks of DocSyncer, which synchronizes all the MS Office files in a chosen folder to your Google Docs account, making the line between working in Word or Excel and working in Google Docs pretty seamless. If nothing else, it’s a great backup.

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5. Create workflows

I’ve wasted probably about as much time in my life trying to remember how I did something last time as I have used just doing it. Somewhere along the line, I realized: write checklists, idiot. Consider doing the same thing (minus the self-deprecation, of course) for any complex tasks you do often. This is something that comes naturally to most programmers,who know it’s the only way to get the computer to do exactly what they want.

Consider one task I do every few weeks or so: adding guest contributors to Lifehack’s pool of writers. Guest contributors applypretty much constantly; their applications need to be reviewed, and the successful applicants need to be accepted, sent information about writing for Lifehack, added to our contributors mailing list, and given permissions to post to the site. I have some boilerplate I sue for some of that, some steps are automated, and the rest… Well, I forget. Which is why I wrote a checklist telling me what steps to take, in what order, and using what applications/websites.

As you perfect your workflow for any task, keep an eye out for steps or groups of steps that can be automated.Consider grouping shortcuts to the programs or documents you need by workflow in your Start Menu, or in a folder on your desktop. Or launch multiple programs together using a program like StartProgs XPro or using a batch file (follow these instructions).

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The bottom line

In the end, the only trick is to be 10% smarter than your computer. Most people use their PCs in a reactionary way, reacting to whatever their needs are at any given moment.A little forethought and a few simple tools can go a long way towards making your computing life smoother and more productive.

What are your thoughts? How do you keep your computer under your control, and not vice versa?

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8 Simple Ways to Be a Better Listener

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8 Simple Ways to Be a Better Listener

How would you feel if you were sharing a personal story and noticed that the person to whom you were speaking wasn’t really listening? You probably wouldn’t be too thrilled.

Unfortunately, that is the case for many people. Most individuals are not good listeners. They are good pretenders. The thing is, true listening requires work—more work than people are willing to invest. Quality conversation is about “give and take.” Most people, however, want to just give—their words, that is. Being on the receiving end as the listener may seem boring, but it’s essential.

When you are attending to someone and paying attention to what they’re saying, it’s a sign of caring and respect. The hitch is that attending requires an act of will, which sometimes goes against what our minds naturally do—roaming around aimlessly and thinking about whatnot, instead of listening—the greatest act of thoughtfulness.

Without active listening, people often feel unheard and unacknowledged. That’s why it’s important for everyone to learn how to be a better listener.

What Makes People Poor Listeners?

Good listening skills can be learned, but first, let’s take a look at some of the things that you might be doing that makes you a poor listener.

1. You Want to Talk to Yourself

Well, who doesn’t? We all have something to say, right? But when you are looking at someone pretending to be listening while, all along, they’re mentally planning all the amazing things they’re going to say, it is a disservice to the speaker.

Yes, maybe what the other person is saying is not the most exciting thing in the world. Still, they deserve to be heard. You always have the ability to steer the conversation in another direction by asking questions.

It’s okay to want to talk. It’s normal, even. Keep in mind, however, that when your turn does come around, you’ll want someone to listen to you.

2. You Disagree With What Is Being Said

This is another thing that makes you an inadequate listener—hearing something with which you disagree with and immediately tuning out. Then, you lie in wait so you can tell the speaker how wrong they are. You’re eager to make your point and prove the speaker wrong. You think that once you speak your “truth,” others will know how mistaken the speaker is, thank you for setting them straight, and encourage you to elaborate on what you have to say. Dream on.

Disagreeing with your speaker, however frustrating that might be, is no reason to tune them out and ready yourself to spew your staggering rebuttal. By listening, you might actually glean an interesting nugget of information that you were previously unaware of.

3. You Are Doing Five Other Things While You’re “Listening”

It is impossible to listen to someone while you’re texting, reading, playing Sudoku, etc. But people do it all the time—I know I have.

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I’ve actually tried to balance my checkbook while pretending to listen to the person on the other line. It didn’t work. I had to keep asking, “what did you say?” I can only admit this now because I rarely do it anymore. With work, I’ve succeeded in becoming a better listener. It takes a great deal of concentration, but it’s certainly worth it.

If you’re truly going to listen, then you must: listen! M. Scott Peck, M.D., in his book The Road Less Travel, says, “you cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.” If you are too busy to actually listen, let the speaker know, and arrange for another time to talk. It’s simple as that!

4. You Appoint Yourself as Judge

While you’re “listening,” you decide that the speaker doesn’t know what they’re talking about. As the “expert,” you know more. So, what’s the point of even listening?

To you, the only sound you hear once you decide they’re wrong is, “Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!” But before you bang that gavel, just know you may not have all the necessary information. To do that, you’d have to really listen, wouldn’t you? Also, make sure you don’t judge someone by their accent, the way they sound, or the structure of their sentences.

My dad is nearly 91. His English is sometimes a little broken and hard to understand. People wrongly assume that he doesn’t know what he’s talking about—they’re quite mistaken. My dad is a highly intelligent man who has English as his second language. He knows what he’s saying and understands the language perfectly.

Keep that in mind when listening to a foreigner, or someone who perhaps has a difficult time putting their thoughts into words.

Now, you know some of the things that make for an inferior listener. If none of the items above resonate with you, great! You’re a better listener than most.

How To Be a Better Listener

For conversation’s sake, though, let’s just say that maybe you need some work in the listening department, and after reading this article, you make the decision to improve. What, then, are some of the things you need to do to make that happen? How can you be a better listener?

1. Pay Attention

A good listener is attentive. They’re not looking at their watch, phone, or thinking about their dinner plans. They’re focused and paying attention to what the other person is saying. This is called active listening.

According to Skills You Need, “active listening involves listening with all senses. As well as giving full attention to the speaker, it is important that the ‘active listener’ is also ‘seen’ to be listening—otherwise, the speaker may conclude that what they are talking about is uninteresting to the listener.”[1]

As I mentioned, it’s normal for the mind to wander. We’re human, after all. But a good listener will rein those thoughts back in as soon as they notice their attention waning.

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I want to note here that you can also “listen” to bodily cues. You can assume that if someone keeps looking at their watch or over their shoulder, their focus isn’t on the conversation. The key is to just pay attention.

2. Use Positive Body Language

You can infer a lot from a person’s body language. Are they interested, bored, or anxious?

A good listener’s body language is open. They lean forward and express curiosity in what is being said. Their facial expression is either smiling, showing concern, conveying empathy, etc. They’re letting the speaker know that they’re being heard.

People say things for a reason—they want some type of feedback. For example, you tell your spouse, “I had a really rough day!” and your husband continues to check his newsfeed while nodding his head. Not a good response.

But what if your husband were to look up with questioning eyes, put his phone down, and say, “Oh, no. What happened?” How would feel, then? The answer is obvious.

According to Alan Gurney,[2]

“An active listener pays full attention to the speaker and ensures they understand the information being delivered. You can’t be distracted by an incoming call or a Facebook status update. You have to be present and in the moment.

Body language is an important tool to ensure you do this. The correct body language makes you a better active listener and therefore more ‘open’ and receptive to what the speaker is saying. At the same time, it indicates that you are listening to them.”

3. Avoid Interrupting the Speaker

I am certain you wouldn’t want to be in the middle of a sentence only to see the other person holding up a finger or their mouth open, ready to step into your unfinished verbiage. It’s rude and causes anxiety. You would, more than likely, feel a need to rush what you’re saying just to finish your sentence.

Interrupting is a sign of disrespect. It is essentially saying, “what I have to say is much more important than what you’re saying.” When you interrupt the speaker, they feel frustrated, hurried, and unimportant.

Interrupting a speaker to agree, disagree, argue, etc., causes the speaker to lose track of what they are saying. It’s extremely frustrating. Whatever you have to say can wait until the other person is done.

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Be polite and wait your turn!

4. Ask Questions

Asking questions is one of the best ways to show you’re interested. If someone is telling you about their ski trip to Mammoth, don’t respond with, “that’s nice.” That would show a lack of interest and disrespect. Instead, you can ask, “how long have you been skiing?” “Did you find it difficult to learn?” “What was your favorite part of the trip?” etc. The person will think highly of you and consider you a great conversationalist just by you asking a few questions.

5. Just Listen

This may seem counterintuitive. When you’re conversing with someone, it’s usually back and forth. On occasion, all that is required of you is to listen, smile, or nod your head, and your speaker will feel like they’re really being heard and understood.

I once sat with a client for 45 minutes without saying a word. She came into my office in distress. I had her sit down, and then she started crying softly. I sat with her—that’s all I did. At the end of the session, she stood, told me she felt much better, and then left.

I have to admit that 45 minutes without saying a word was tough. But she didn’t need me to say anything. She needed a safe space in which she could emote without interruption, judgment, or me trying to “fix” something.

6. Remember and Follow Up

Part of being a great listener is remembering what the speaker has said to you, then following up with them.

For example, in a recent conversation you had with your co-worker Jacob, he told you that his wife had gotten a promotion and that they were contemplating moving to New York. The next time you run into Jacob, you may want to say, “Hey, Jacob! Whatever happened with your wife’s promotion?” At this point, Jacob will know you really heard what he said and that you’re interested to see how things turned out. What a gift!

According to new research, “people who ask questions, particularly follow-up questions, may become better managers, land better jobs, and even win second dates.”[3]

It’s so simple to show you care. Just remember a few facts and follow up on them. If you do this regularly, you will make more friends.

7. Keep Confidential Information Confidential

If you really want to be a better listener, listen with care. If what you’re hearing is confidential, keep it that way, no matter how tempting it might be to tell someone else, especially if you have friends in common. Being a good listener means being trustworthy and sensitive with shared information.

Whatever is told to you in confidence is not to be revealed. Assure your speaker that their information is safe with you. They will feel relieved that they have someone with whom they can share their burden without fear of it getting out.

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Keeping someone’s confidence helps to deepen your relationship. Also, “one of the most important elements of confidentiality is that it helps to build and develop trust. It potentially allows for the free flow of information between the client and worker and acknowledges that a client’s personal life and all the issues and problems that they have belong to them.”[4]

Be like a therapist: listen and withhold judgment.

NOTE: I must add here that while therapists keep everything in a session confidential, there are exceptions:

  1. If the client may be an immediate danger to himself or others.
  2. If the client is endangering a population that cannot protect itself, such as in the case of a child or elder abuse.

8. Maintain Eye Contact

When someone is talking, they are usually saying something they consider meaningful. They don’t want their listener reading a text, looking at their fingernails, or bending down to pet a pooch on the street. A speaker wants all eyes on them. It lets them know that what they’re saying has value.

Eye contact is very powerful. It can relay many things without anything being said. Currently, it’s more important than ever with the Covid-19 Pandemic. People can’t see your whole face, but they can definitely read your eyes.

By eye contact, I don’t mean a hard, creepy stare—just a gaze in the speaker’s direction will do. Make it a point the next time you’re in a conversation to maintain eye contact with your speaker. Avoid the temptation to look anywhere but at their face. I know it’s not easy, especially if you’re not interested in what they’re talking about. But as I said, you can redirect the conversation in a different direction or just let the person know you’ve got to get going.

Final Thoughts

Listening attentively will add to your connection with anyone in your life. Now, more than ever, when people are so disconnected due to smartphones and social media, listening skills are critical.

You can build better, more honest, and deeper relationships by simply being there, paying attention, and asking questions that make the speaker feel like what they have to say matters.

And isn’t that a great goal? To make people feel as if they matter? So, go out and start honing those listening skills. You’ve got two great ears. Now use them!

More Tips on How to Be a Better Listener

Featured photo credit: Joshua Rodriguez via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Skills You Need: Active Listening
[2] Filtered: Body language for active listening
[3] Forbes: People Will Like You More If You Start Asking Follow-up Questions
[4] TAFE NSW Sydney eLearning Moodle: Confidentiality

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