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12 Tips for Being Good Feng Shui

12 Tips for Being Good Feng Shui

    Feng shui teaches that everything is alive with energy. Everything. That means that you too are alive with energy. What kind of energy are you? When I evaluate environments for good feng shui I look for a feeling of harmony and balance, a predominance of positive energy, and few sources of negative energy. The same criteria can be applied to people.

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    You’ve probably met people who immediately repel you by their looks, behavior, or attitude. And, you’ve probably met other people with whom you feel an immediate affinity or attraction. I like to describe it this way. When I meet people with whom I feel no connection, no desire to interact or even worse, the desire to get away from them, there is just no velcro. Nothing about their energy pulls me toward them. But, when I meet people with whom I feel an immediate connection and a desire to know them better, there is velcro.

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    What’s really exciting is that we have complete control of the quality of our energy. We get to choose how we think and act. Following are 12 suggestions for ensuring that you have good feng shui and in turn attract others with good feng shui into your life.

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    1. Be a positive light in your world. You can do this by looking for the positive in every person, exchange or circumstance. If you expect to find good things, you will. Even in the most difficult circumstances there are always gifts and lessons. Rather than focus on things that irritate you, look for something good about every encounter.
    2. Learn the difference between criticism and feedback and refuse to criticize anyone. When you criticize you are shooting the person with word bullets. Criticism does more harm than good.
    3. Refuse to be a blamer. Blaming is an attempt to make the other person wrong. It is also commonly used by people who don’t want to take responsibility for their own behavior. Look for ways to solve problems rather than pointing a finger at the person who caused the problem.
    4. Be courteous and kind with everyone, even people who aren’t being courteous to you. What you put out comes back to you. Put out curt, discourteous behavior and you are likely to get the same in return. Respond to discourteous people with polite, friendly behavior and you’ve held onto your own personal power and you’ve done your part to have a positive interaction.
    5. Become an expert at managing your anger. When you feeling angry and are likely to say hurtful things, shut your mouth and breathe. Walk away until you can cool off and can identify the true cause of your feelings. What you think you are mad about while angry may not be the real reason. Once calm, go back and respectfully discuss the situation with the goal of working things out.
    6. Admit a mistake as soon as you are aware you have made one and do whatever it takes to correct it. Hiding mistakes is a form of dishonesty and therefore negative energy. When you admit mistakes and make things right, you flush out the negative energy and can start again with a clean slate.
    7. Be a lifelong learner. When you continue to learn, you continue to grow. You then having interesting ideas and information to share with others. You become interesting to others.
    8. Be interested in others. You’ve probably heard the saying, “People don’t care what you know until they know that you care.” Lead with curiosity and caring and you’ll find yourself attracting all kinds of wonderful people into your life.
    9. Listen like you’d like to be listened to. Listening tells people that you care about them as a person, that what they have to say really matters. It is an incredible gift that identifies you as a giver rather than a taker.
    10. Make service to others a way of life. What you put out there comes back to you. We are all meant to make a difference in some way. Serving others gets us out of the confusion of our own heads and is a way for us to participate in making the world a better place.
    11. Refuse to take yourself too seriously. When you take yourself too seriously life is hard work and you feel burdened by the responsibility of trying to be perfect. What a setup! Work hard, but learn to go with the flow. You aren’t really in charge anyway! Life gives you exactly what you need when you need it. Why not take a breath, put a smile on your face and expect the best.
    12. Develop a playful, positive sense of humor. People with a good sense of humor are like magnets in any situation. They provide relief from the seriousness in situations that threaten to hold all of us hostage from true connection with each other. Lighten up and look for the funny in every day, especially in your own behavior!

    Are you good feng shui? Are you a source of positive energy in all areas of your life? It’s up to you. Being good feng shui is a choice that is available to everyone. Can you imagine what our world would be like if everyone had good feng shui?

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    Last Updated on November 28, 2018

    Why Do I Have Bad Luck? 2 Simple Things to Change Your Destiny

    Why Do I Have Bad Luck? 2 Simple Things to Change Your Destiny

    Are you one of those people who are always suffering setbacks? Does little ever seem to go right for you? Do you sometimes feel that the universe is out to get you? Do you wonder:

    Why do I have bad luck? Is bad luck real?

    A couple of months ago, I met up with an old friend of mine who I hadn’t seen since last year. Over lunch, we talked about all kinds of things, including our careers, relationships and hobbies.

    My friend told me his job had become dull and uninteresting to him, and despite applying for promotion – he’d been turned down. His personal life wasn’t great either, as he told me that he’d recently separated from his long-term girlfriend.

    When I asked him why things had seemingly gone wrong at home and work, he paused for a moment, and then replied:

    “I’m having a run of bad luck.”

    I was surprised by his response as I’d never thought of him as someone who thought that luck controlled his life. He always appeared to be someone who knew what he wanted – and went after it with gusto.

    He told me he did believe in bad luck because of everything happened to me.

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    It was at this point, that I shared my opinion on luck and destiny:

    While chance events certainly occur, they are purely random in nature. In other words, good luck and bad luck don’t exist in the way that people believe. And more importantly, even if random negative events do come along, our perspective and reaction can turn them into positive things.

    Your luck is no worse—and no better—than anyone else’s. It just feels that way. Better still, there are two simple things you can do which will reverse your feelings of being unlucky and change your luck.

    1. Stop believing that what happens in life is out of your control.

    Stop believing that what happens in your life is down to the vagaries of luck, destiny, supernatural forces, malevolent other people, or anything else outside yourself.

    Psychologists call this “external locus of control.” It’s a kind of fatalism, where people believe that they can do little or nothing personally to change their lives.

    Because of this, they either merely hope for the best, focus on trying to change their luck by various kinds of superstition, or submit passively to whatever comes—while complaining that it doesn’t match their hopes.

    Most successful people take the opposite view. They have “internal locus of control.” They believe that what happens in their life is nearly all down to them; and that even when chance events occur, what is important is not the event itself, but how you respond to it.

    This makes them pro-active, engaged, ready to try new things, and keen to find the means to change whatever in their lives they don’t like.

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    They aren’t fatalistic and they don’t blame bad luck for what isn’t right in their world. They look for a way to make things better.

    Are they luckier than the others? Of course not.

    Luck is random—that’s what chance means—so they are just as likely to suffer setbacks as anyone else.

    What’s different is their response. When things go wrong, they quickly look for ways to put them right. They don’t whine, pity themselves, or complain about “bad luck.” They try to learn from what happened to avoid or correct it next time and get on with living their life as best they can. They have this Motivation Engine, which most people lack, to keep them going.

    No one is habitually luckier or unluckier than anyone else. It may seem so, over the short term (Random events often come in groups, just as random numbers often lie close together for several instances—which is why gamblers tend to see patterns where none exist).

    When you take a longer perspective, random chance is just . . . random. Yet those who feel that they are less lucky, typically pay far more attention to short-term instances of bad luck, convincing themselves of the correctness of their belief.

    Your locus of control isn’t genetic. You learned it somehow. If it isn’t working for you, change it.

    2. Remember that whatever you pay attention to grows in your mind.

    If you focus on what’s going wrong in your life—especially if you see it as “bad luck” you can do nothing about—it will seem blacker and more malevolent.

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    In a short time, you’ll become so convinced that everything is against you that you’ll notice more and more instances where this appears to be true. As a result, you will drown yourself in negative energy and almost certainly stop trying, convinced that nothing you can do will improve your prospects.

    Not long ago, a reader (I’ll call her Kelly) has shared with me about how frustrated she felt and how unlucky she was. Kelly’s an aspiring entrepreneur. She had been trying to find investors to invest in her project. It hadn’t been going well as she was always rejected by the potential investors. And at her most stressful time, her boyfriend broke up with her. And the day after her breakup, she missed an important opportunity to meet an interested investor. She was about to give up because she felt that she’d not be lucky enough to build her business successfully.

    It definitely wasn’t an easy time for her. She was stressful and tired. But it wasn’t bad luck that was playing the role.

    Fatalism feeds on itself until people become passive “victims” of life’s blows. The “losers” in life are those who are convinced they will fail before they start anything; sure that their “bad luck” will ruin any prospects of success.

    They rarely notice that the true reasons for their failure are ignorance, laziness, lack of skill, lack of forethought, or just plain foolishness—all of which they could do something to correct, if only they would stop blaming other people or “bad luck” for their personal deficiencies.

    Your attention is under your control. Send it where you want it to go. Starve the negative thoughts until they die.

    I explained to Kelly that to improve her fortune and have “good luck”, first decide that what happens is nearly always down to her; then try to focus on what works and what turns out well, not the bad stuff.

    Then Kelly tried to review her current situation objectively. She realized that she only needed a short break for herself — from work and her just broken-up relationship. She really needed some time to clear up her mind before moving on with her work and life. When she got her emotions settled down from her heartbreak, she started to work on improving her business’ selling points and looked for new investors that are more suitable.

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    A few months later, she told me that she finally found two investors who were really interested in her project and would like to work with her to grow the business. I was really glad that she could take back control of her destiny and achieved what she wanted.

    Your “fate” really does depend on the choices that you make. When random events happen, as they always will, do you choose to try to turn them to your advantage or just complain about them?

    What’s Next?

    Now that you’ve learned the 2 simple things you can do to take control of your fate and create your own luck. But this isn’t it! These simple techniques you’ve learned here are just part of the essential 7 Cornerstone Skills — a skillset that will give you the power to create permanent solutions to big problems in life — any problem in any area of your life!

    If you think you’re “suffering from bad luck”, you can really change things up and start life over with these 7 Cornerstone Skills. It may even be a lot easier than you thought:

    How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

    Thomas Jefferson is said to have used these words:

    “I’m a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.”

    Your luck, in the end, is pretty much what you choose it to be.

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    Featured photo credit: LoboStudio Hamburg via unsplash.com

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