Advertising
Advertising

11 Things to avoid in 2011

11 Things to avoid in 2011

    While millions head to the gym for the next two weeks, there’s cause to consider some things to avoid in the coming year. Here are 11 things you might do well to avoid in the coming year and beyond!

    1. Withholding forgiveness

    If the person who wronged you really cares about you they’ll have beaten themselves up sufficiently before asking for your forgiveness. Don’t risk the health of your relationship by withholding forgiveness. That’s a vengeance that tastes good on the way down and breaks your heart on the way back up.

    Advertising

    2. Using your job as an excuse

    Far too often the phrase, “I’m doing this for my family!” is given as an excuse for neglect. If you are actually indispensable your employer will, perhaps begrudgingly, give you the time you need to get your relationship with family and friends back on track. You’ll be glad you did and so will your employer!

    3. Eating for all the wrong reasons

    Don’t eat because you’re tired, bored, thirsty, or anxious this year! You might consider those four different things to avoid but they all lead to the reason you probably resolved to hit the gym more often this year. Consider the notion of eating with purpose and see where it takes you in 2011.

    4. Assuming that you always know the entire story

    You don’t. Ask more questions. Listen. Ask more questions. Give yourself an out and don’t back others into corners when you give your final answer.

    Advertising

    5. Self-loathing

    Most aren’t aware of just how much they beat themselves up over things. Note this: You set an example for others as to how you should be treated and appreciated. Respect and take care of yourself and most will follow your example. This is one of those wildly simple yet agonizingly difficult things to accomplish. Try to get a solid start this year!

    6. Blaming anything on gender

    For example: I was in an argument recently (imagine that!) and my partner in the argument forcefully uttered the remark, “typical male!” in response to something I said that was admittedly unkind (imagine that!). This created a predicament in which my subsequent apology would be not just for my comment but also for my gender. I can’t change my gender (really, not an option) so I’d be apologizing for being myself. Crazy, right? She doesn’t do that because she’s a woman. She does it because she’s an imperfect human. He doesn’t do that because he’s a man. He does it because he’s an imperfect human. Things are simpler when we approach conflict with as few stereotypes as possible.

    Such an approach will change things. I promise you.

    Advertising

    7. Needless exhaustion

    Try to be better about skipping the late-night TV or web browsing when you have work early in the morning. You’ll be more useful at work, more fun as a friend, and it’ll be easier to hit the gym or whatever your new year’s resolution was!

    8. Neglecting your mind

    You’ve talked about taking a class, joining a book club, working on more challenging projects, and taking time to read more or even start a blog. You’re officially done waiting. Congratulations!

    9. Putting off your dreams

    Look at your big dreams and identify what makes them so appealing. Is it the free time, the nice things, the great relationships, or being in the best shape of your life? Identify something you can do this year that will allow you to enjoy some of that dream without all the extras. Save up some cash and splurge on that amazing purchase or take some unpaid time off. Treasure the time you have and don’t wait until you’re loaded to start savoring the world around you.

    Advertising

    10. Not asking for help

    You’d be stunned if you knew just how many people are ready and willing to help you if only you’d clearly define your need and directly ask for help. Don’t ask for help like the friend who begs people to help him move but has nothing put in boxes when they show up. Ask for help like the friend who has done everything in his power to achieve and needs only that final push from a buddy to reach success. We want to be a part of your success!

    11. Taking so many moments for granted

    Time is limited my friend. Seize the moment. Try to freeze it and own it, squeeze it and hold it. (Eminem) We’ve not been promised another year. Only this moment right before our eyes, between our hands, and in the breaths of those we love.

    Here’s to an amazing 2011, friends! Stay blessed!

    Image: Today is a good day

    More by this author

    Seth Simonds

    Seth writes about lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

    How to Become an Early Riser and Stay Energetic 21 First Date Ideas 11 Sinfully Easy Sangria Recipes Sleep Hack: A Simple Strategy For Better Rest In Less Time Lifehack 5-Day Early Riser Challenge Final

    Trending in Featured

    1 Is Procrastination Bad? The Truth About Procrastination Revealed 2 What to Do in Free Time? 20 Productive Ways to Use the Time 3 20 Time Management Tips to Super Boost Your Productivity 4 How to Take Notes: 3 Effective Note-Taking Techniques 5 How to Stay Motivated and Reach Your Big Goals in Life

    Read Next

    Advertising
    Advertising
    Advertising

    Last Updated on March 31, 2020

    Is Procrastination Bad? The Truth About Procrastination Revealed

    Is Procrastination Bad? The Truth About Procrastination Revealed

    Procrastination is very literally the opposite of productivity. To produce something is to pull it forward, while to procrastinate is to push it forward — to tomorrow, to next week, or ultimately to never.

    Procrastination fills us with shame — we curse ourselves for our laziness, our inability to focus on the task at hand, our tendency to be easily led into easier and more immediate gratifications. And with good reason: for the most part, time spent procrastinating is time spent not doing things that are, in some way or other, important to us.

    There is a positive side to procrastination, but it’s important not to confuse procrastination at its best with everyday garden-variety procrastination.

    Sometimes — sometimes! — procrastination gives us the time we need to sort through a thorny issue or to generate ideas. In those rare instances, we should embrace procrastination — even as we push it away the rest of the time.

    Why We Procrastinate After All?

    We procrastinate for a number of reasons, some better than others. One reason we procrastinate is that, while we know what we want to do, we need time to let the ideas “ferment” before we are ready to sit down and put them into action.

    Some might call this “creative faffing”; I call it, following copywriter Ray Del Savio’s lead, “concepting”.[1]

    Whatever you choose to call it, it’s the time spent dreaming up what you want to say or do, weighing ideas in your mind, following false leads and tearing off on mental wild goose chases, and generally thinking things through.

    Advertising

    To the outside observer, concepting looks like… well, like nothing much at all. Maybe you’re leaning back in your chair, feet up, staring at the wall or ceiling, or laying in bed apparently dozing, or looking out over the skyline or feeding pigeons in the park or fiddling with the Japanese vinyl toys that stand watch over your desk.

    If ideas are the lifeblood of your work, you have to make time for concepting, and you have to overcome the sensation— often overpowering in our work-obsessed culture — that faffing, however creative, is not work.

    Is Procrastination Bad?

    Yes it is.

    Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you’re “concepting” when in fact you’re just not sure what you’re supposed to be doing.

    Spending an hour staring at the wall while thinking up the perfect tagline for a marketing campaign is creative faffing; staring at the wall for an hour because you don’t know how to come up with a tagline, or don’t know the product you’re marketing well enough to come up with one, is just wasting time.

    Lack of definition is perhaps the biggest friend of your procrastination demons. When we’re not sure what to do — whether because we haven’t planned thoroughly enough, we haven’t specified the scope of what we hope to accomplish in the immediate present, or we lack important information, skills, or resources to get the job done.

    It’s easy to get distracted or to trick ourselves into spinning our wheels doing nothing. It takes our mind off the uncomfortable sensation of failing to make progress on something important.

    Advertising

    The answer to this is in planning and scheduling. Rather than giving yourself an unspecified length of time to perform an unspecified task (“Let’s see, I guess I’ll work on that spreadsheet for a while”) give yourself a limited amount of time to work on a clearly defined task (“Now I’ll enter the figures from last months sales report into the spreadsheet for an hour”).

    Giving yourself a deadline, even an artificial one, helps build a sense of urgency and also offers the promise of time to “screw around” later, once more important things are done.

    For larger projects, planning plays a huge role in whether or not you’ll spend too much time procrastinating to reach the end reasonably quickly.

    A good plan not only lists the steps you have to take to reach the end, but takes into account the resources, knowledge and inputs from other people you’re going to need to perform those steps.

    Instead of futzing around doing nothing because you don’t have last month’s sales report, getting the report should be a step in the project.

    Otherwise, you’ll spend time cooling your heels, justifying your lack of action as necessary: you aren’t wasting time because you want to, but because you have to.

    How Bad Procrastination Can Be

    Our mind can often trick us into procrastinating, often to the point that we don’t realize we’re procrastinating at all.

    Advertising

    After all, we have lots and lots of things to do; if we’re working on something, aren’t we being productive – even if the one big thing we need to work on doesn’t get done?

    One way this plays out is that we scan our to-do list, skipping over the big challenging projects in favor of the short, easy projects. At the end of the day, we feel very productive: we’ve crossed twelve things off our list!

    That big project we didn’t work on gets put onto the next day’s list, and when the same thing happens, it gets moved forward again. And again.

    Big tasks often present us with the problem above – we aren’t sure what to do exactly, so we look for other ways to occupy ourselves.

    In many cases too, big tasks aren’t really tasks at all; they’re aggregates of many smaller tasks. If something’s sitting on your list for a long time, each day getting skipped over in favor of more immediately doable tasks, it’s probably not very well thought out.

    You’re actively resisting it because you don’t really know what it is. Try to break it down into a set of small tasks, something more like the tasks you are doing in place of the one big task you aren’t doing.

    More consequences of procrastination can be found in this article: 8 Dreadful Effects of Procrastination That Can Destroy Your Life

    Advertising

    Procrastination, a Technical Failure

    Procrastination is, more often than not, a sign of a technical failure, not a moral failure.

    It’s not because we’re bad people that we procrastinate. Most times, procrastination serves as a symptom of something more fundamentally wrong with the tasks we’ve set ourselves.

    It’s important to keep an eye on our procrastinating tendencies, to ask ourselves whenever we notice ourselves pushing things forward what it is about the task we’ve set ourselves that simply isn’t working for us.

    Learn more about how to fix your procrastination problem here: What Is Procrastination and How to Stop It (The Complete Guide)

    Featured photo credit: chuttersnap via unsplash.com

    Reference

    Read Next