Advertising
Advertising

11 Things to avoid in 2011

11 Things to avoid in 2011

    While millions head to the gym for the next two weeks, there’s cause to consider some things to avoid in the coming year. Here are 11 things you might do well to avoid in the coming year and beyond!

    1. Withholding forgiveness

    If the person who wronged you really cares about you they’ll have beaten themselves up sufficiently before asking for your forgiveness. Don’t risk the health of your relationship by withholding forgiveness. That’s a vengeance that tastes good on the way down and breaks your heart on the way back up.

    Advertising

    2. Using your job as an excuse

    Far too often the phrase, “I’m doing this for my family!” is given as an excuse for neglect. If you are actually indispensable your employer will, perhaps begrudgingly, give you the time you need to get your relationship with family and friends back on track. You’ll be glad you did and so will your employer!

    3. Eating for all the wrong reasons

    Don’t eat because you’re tired, bored, thirsty, or anxious this year! You might consider those four different things to avoid but they all lead to the reason you probably resolved to hit the gym more often this year. Consider the notion of eating with purpose and see where it takes you in 2011.

    4. Assuming that you always know the entire story

    You don’t. Ask more questions. Listen. Ask more questions. Give yourself an out and don’t back others into corners when you give your final answer.

    Advertising

    5. Self-loathing

    Most aren’t aware of just how much they beat themselves up over things. Note this: You set an example for others as to how you should be treated and appreciated. Respect and take care of yourself and most will follow your example. This is one of those wildly simple yet agonizingly difficult things to accomplish. Try to get a solid start this year!

    6. Blaming anything on gender

    For example: I was in an argument recently (imagine that!) and my partner in the argument forcefully uttered the remark, “typical male!” in response to something I said that was admittedly unkind (imagine that!). This created a predicament in which my subsequent apology would be not just for my comment but also for my gender. I can’t change my gender (really, not an option) so I’d be apologizing for being myself. Crazy, right? She doesn’t do that because she’s a woman. She does it because she’s an imperfect human. He doesn’t do that because he’s a man. He does it because he’s an imperfect human. Things are simpler when we approach conflict with as few stereotypes as possible.

    Such an approach will change things. I promise you.

    Advertising

    7. Needless exhaustion

    Try to be better about skipping the late-night TV or web browsing when you have work early in the morning. You’ll be more useful at work, more fun as a friend, and it’ll be easier to hit the gym or whatever your new year’s resolution was!

    8. Neglecting your mind

    You’ve talked about taking a class, joining a book club, working on more challenging projects, and taking time to read more or even start a blog. You’re officially done waiting. Congratulations!

    9. Putting off your dreams

    Look at your big dreams and identify what makes them so appealing. Is it the free time, the nice things, the great relationships, or being in the best shape of your life? Identify something you can do this year that will allow you to enjoy some of that dream without all the extras. Save up some cash and splurge on that amazing purchase or take some unpaid time off. Treasure the time you have and don’t wait until you’re loaded to start savoring the world around you.

    Advertising

    10. Not asking for help

    You’d be stunned if you knew just how many people are ready and willing to help you if only you’d clearly define your need and directly ask for help. Don’t ask for help like the friend who begs people to help him move but has nothing put in boxes when they show up. Ask for help like the friend who has done everything in his power to achieve and needs only that final push from a buddy to reach success. We want to be a part of your success!

    11. Taking so many moments for granted

    Time is limited my friend. Seize the moment. Try to freeze it and own it, squeeze it and hold it. (Eminem) We’ve not been promised another year. Only this moment right before our eyes, between our hands, and in the breaths of those we love.

    Here’s to an amazing 2011, friends! Stay blessed!

    Image: Today is a good day

    More by this author

    Seth Simonds

    Seth writes about lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

    How to Become an Early Riser and Stay Energetic 21 First Date Ideas 11 Sinfully Easy Sangria Recipes Sleep Hack: A Simple Strategy For Better Rest In Less Time Lifehack 5-Day Early Riser Challenge Final

    Trending in Featured

    1 The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder Work) 2 How to Master the Art of Prioritization 3 40 Top Productivity Apps for iPhone (2020 Updated) 4 How to Break Out of Your Comfort Zone 5 How to Find Time for Yourself

    Read Next

    Advertising
    Advertising
    Advertising

    Last Updated on January 13, 2020

    The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder Work)

    The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder Work)

    No matter how well you set up your todo list and calendar, you aren’t going to get things done unless you have a reliable way of reminding yourself to actually do them.

    Anyone who’s spent an hour writing up the perfect grocery list only to realize at the store that they forgot to bring the list understands the importance of reminders.

    Reminders of some sort or another are what turn a collection of paper goods or web services into what David Allen calls a “trusted system.”[1]

    A lot of people resist getting better organized. No matter what kind of chaotic mess, their lives are on a day-to-day basis because they know themselves well enough to know that there’s after all that work they’ll probably forget to take their lists with them when it matters most.

    Fortunately, there are ways to make sure we remember to check our lists — and to remember to do the things we need to do, whether they’re on a list or not.

    In most cases, we need a lot of pushing at first, for example by making a reminder, but eventually we build up enough momentum that doing what needs doing becomes a habit — not an exception.

    Advertising

    From Creating Reminders to Building Habits

    A habit is any act we engage in automatically without thinking about it.

    For example, when you brush your teeth, you don’t have to think about every single step from start to finish; once you stagger up to the sink, habit takes over (and, really, habit got you to the sink in the first place) and you find yourself putting toothpaste on your toothbrush, putting the toothbrush in your mouth (and never your ear!), spitting, rinsing, and so on without any conscious effort at all.

    This is a good thing because if you’re anything like me, you’re not even capable of conscious thought when you’re brushing your teeth.

    The good news is you already have a whole set of productivity habits you’ve built up over the course of your life. The bad news is, a lot of them aren’t very good habits.

    That quick game Frogger to “loosen you up” before you get working, that always ends up being 6 hours of Frogger –– that’s a habit. And as you know, habits like that can be hard to break — which is one of the reasons why habits are so important in the first place.

    Once you’ve replaced an unproductive habit with a more productive one, the new habit will be just as hard to break as the old one was. Getting there, though, can be a chore!

    Advertising

    The old saw about anything you do for 21 days becoming a habit has been pretty much discredited, but there is a kernel of truth there — anything you do long enough becomes an ingrained behavior, a habit. Some people pick up habits quickly, others over a longer time span, but eventually, the behaviors become automatic.

    Building productive habits, then, is a matter of repeating a desired behavior over a long enough period of time that you start doing it without thinking.

    But how do you remember to do that? And what about the things that don’t need to be habits — the one-off events, like taking your paycheck stubs to your mortgage banker or making a particular phone call?

    The trick to reminding yourself often enough for something to become a habit, or just that one time that you need to do something, is to interrupt yourself in some way in a way that triggers the desired behavior.

    The Wonderful Thing About Triggers — Reminders

    A trigger is anything that you put “in your way” to remind you to do something. The best triggers are related in some way to the behavior you want to produce.

    For instance, if you want to remember to take something to work that you wouldn’t normally take, you might place it in front of the door so you have to pick it up to get out of your house.

    Advertising

    But anything that catches your attention and reminds you to do something can be a trigger. An alarm clock or kitchen timer is a perfect example — when the bell rings, you know to wake up or take the quiche out of the oven. (Hopefully you remember which trigger goes with which behavior!)

    If you want to instill a habit, the thing to do is to place a trigger in your path to remind you to do whatever it is you’re trying to make into a habit — and keep it there until you realize that you’ve already done the thing it’s supposed to remind you of.

    For instance, a post-it saying “count your calories” placed on the refrigerator door (or maybe on your favorite sugary snack itself)  can help you remember that you’re supposed to be cutting back — until one day you realize that you don’t need to be reminded anymore.

    These triggers all require a lot of forethought, though — you have to remember that you need to remember something in the first place.

    For a lot of tasks, the best reminder is one that’s completely automated — you set it up and then forget about it, trusting the trigger to pop up when you need it.

    How to Make a Reminder Works for You

    Computers and ubiquity of mobile Internet-connected devices make it possible to set up automatic triggers for just about anything.

    Advertising

    Desktop software like Outlook will pop up reminders on your desktop screen, and most online services go an extra step and send reminders via email or SMS text message — just the thing to keep you on track. Sandy, for example, just does automatic reminders.

    Automated reminders can help you build habits — but it can also help you remember things that are too important to be trusted even to habit. Diabetics who need to take their insulin, HIV patients whose medication must be taken at an exact time in a precise order, phone calls that have to be made exactly on time, and other crucial events require triggers even when the habit is already in place.

    My advice is to set reminders for just about everything — have them sent to your mobile phone in some way (either through a built-in calendar or an online service that sends updates) so you never have to think about it — and never have to worry about forgetting.

    Your weekly review is a good time to enter new reminders for the coming weeks or months. I simply don’t want to think about what I’m supposed to be doing; I want to be reminded so I can think just about actually doing it.

    I tend to use my calendar for reminders, mostly, though I do like Sandy quite a bit.

    More on Building Habits

    Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Getting Things Done: Trusted System

    Read Next