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Do You Suffer From The Phenomenon Of Facebook Depression?

Do You Suffer From The Phenomenon Of Facebook Depression?

It might seem at first glance that, given the advance in communication technology, you would be happier in the modern world – even if you were a bit socially awkward and spent a lot of time by yourself at home, you could still reach out to a huge number of people. Friends, family and even strangers who share your interests are never far away when you have the convenience afforded by a social network such as Facebook.

Why do some people still feel unloved, sad, lonely or depressed, when they have such a seemingly useful tool at their disposal? More importantly, are you one of those people whose mood is significantly worsened as a direct result of Facebook?

There are definitely a number of tell-tale signs that a certain activity may be affecting your mood to a significant degree, and using Facebook can be bringing you down or at least making things worse when you are already feeling blue. I will provide you with objective information on the matter, citing studies and scientific opinion, as well as give a more personal account based on what I and others around me have experienced ourselves.

Is Facebook depression even a real thing?

It’s important to understand that the mere act of posting something on your wall or commenting on your friends’ pictures will not instantly make you depressed, nor will you necessarily develop an addiction to Facebook even if you use it on a regular basis. The whole hype about the Facebook depression phenomenon was based on a study done by Joanne Davila, PhD on depression in adolescent girls, which was linked to anxiety related to romantic experiences. Facebook or social media in general, was never the focus of the study and the connection between social media and potential worsening of symptoms were pure speculation, as Dr. Davila herself has clarified.

However, although there is no scientific proof of a direct correlation between social media and depression in healthy individuals, we can safely say Facebook does have a potential to negatively impact self-esteem, mental-health and emotional well-being as some newer studies suggest. Here are some common issues associated with regular Facebook use – if you have come across one or more of these in your own life, you might be suffering from Facebook depression.

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You don’t get support you need through online interaction

Coach Consoling Dejected Football Player

    We often feel stressed out or tired, it’s only natural. When it comes to feeling anxious and depressed, there can be a number of different factors involved: problems at work, self-image issues, fatigue, relationship problems, arguments with friends and family, low self-esteem, etc. The old cliché of “just talk to someone about it” actually works, particularly if you have friends or family members you are close with and whose opinions you trust. There are indications that sharing your problems online doesn’t work in the same way that confiding in a group of friends in person does. When it comes to opening up on Facebook there are several drawbacks:

    • You risk exposing yourself to ridicule and hurtful comments if you post on your wall
    • You have limited space to express yourself
    • Sarcasm is often impossible to identify in written form
    • You are reminded of how happy other people are by being bombarded with party pictures, internet memes and positive statuses

    Knowing that the same people that posted a supportive comment on your status are commenting on pictures from last night’s party and posting pictures of their dog on their wall at the same time, kind of undermines their attempts to ensure that they know how you feel and that they are there for you. On the other hand one of the many “friends” you have may be tempted to leave a funny comment about first world problems and others straight up criticize you for “moping” or “trying to be a philosopher” and cluttering up their wall with silly status updates.

    Needless to say, this isn’t good for your self-confidence and emotional health. If you feel the need to be comforted and end up looking for support online, there is a good chance that you may be left feeling worse than before. In such cases it’s best to leave the computer and get a cup of coffee with someone you trust, write down your feelings on a piece of paper or let off steam through exercise.

    It’s easy to envy other people and fear you are missing out in life

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    Envying others

      Sometimes, when I came home from work on Friday I was too tired to go anywhere with friends, other times I just couldn’t organize a fun night out because all my friends were busy and ended up spending a good part of the weekend at home by myself. I didn’t feel depressed or anything, I just found other things that brought me joy – e.g. video games, movies, YouTube videos, hitting the gym, reading books and checking Facebook. As soon as I logged on I was drowning in pictures of excited people drinking, laughing, making fools of themselves or chilling on a beach.

      Feelings of disappointment and envy would wash over me as I realized these people were all having fun with others while I was alone. Some of them were splashing around in the water somewhere far away, while I hardly managed to make a few trips to the pool the entire summer. I went from feeling slightly bored, yet fairly satisfied, to feeling alone and mad at those that dared to have fun.

      A recent study suggests that passively following people on Facebook can cause increased feelings of envy and make you unsatisfied with your own life, something some of my friends and I were already too familiar with. It seems that in such situations it may be best to avoid social networks altogether and find constructive ways of channeling your energy and having fun. Dancing, yoga, martial arts, cooking and similar classes are a great way to develop new friendships, have fun and develop useful skills.

      It can promote jealousy in romantic relationships

      Jealous boyfriend
         

        Facebook allows you access to a lot of private information about a person. There are privacy settings, of course, but healthy relationships are built on trust, so you allow your partner to look through your profile. Some give partners full access to Facebook accounts. It’s easy for you to start feeling jealous after seeing pictures of your significant other partying with people you don’t know anything about. Another thing you quickly realize is people go through a lot of relationships in life, and if they were in a more serious relationship this means tons of pictures of them and their exes having fun and kissing.

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        Some can’t handle what essentially equates to socially acceptable voyeurism very well. One study suggests this can create a vicious cycle in which seeing pictures of your partner can be misconstrued leads to additional digging around Facebook, which leads to other discoveries and so on. If you already have a tendency to get a bit too jealous for no real reason, then Facebook stalking can make things worse and have a negative impact on your relationship. To avoid this, try and be frank with your partner – cultivate a healthy relationship based on effective communication and trust, and understand everyone has a past. We all have a few skeletons in our closet that we may not be ready to talk about.

        You can start basing your self-worth on the number of friends, interactions and likes

        Like me on Facebook

          I’ve had friends become noticeably irritated because they had no notifications after being away from the computer for a whole day. You can start viewing yourself as the sum of all your friends, believing social status depends on the number of comments, likes and other interactions between you and your virtual friends. It was found that people who consumed a greater level of content without engaging in direct communication tended to be much lonelier. Focusing on trivial things like putting up content, liking and commenting instead of communicating with others can make you feel distanced from society.

          You are open to cyber bullying

          Cyber bully

            I’ve already mentioned sarcastic and rude comments as a negative part of opening yourself up to a huge number of people, only a few of which are actually close to you, but sometimes things escalate far past the point of someone being rude or inconsiderate. Cyber bullying is extremely dangerous for a number of reasons:

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            • It takes almost no effort on the part of the bully
            • You can be targeted by people who are hundreds of miles away
            • You can’t escape it by staying at home
            • The attacks hit you when you are at your most vulnerable

            Imagine you are sitting alone in your room at night. As the nagging voice of self-doubt starts creeping in, you log onto Facebook in an effort to keep your thoughts from wearing of into some of the darker corners of your mind. However, instead of whimsical pictures of cats, pop culture references and friends you can chat with, what you find is a borderline sociopath actively pursuing you, attacking you – purposefully trying to inflict great emotional harm. These cases can end very badly, so if you are experiencing cyber bullying you should take steps to end it.

            Unfriending a person can be enough in minor cases, but you might need to report abusive behavior to Facebook and have the person’s account shut down. If he or she continues the bullying from fake accounts or the bullying becomes worse, then deleting your account and contacting the authorities is the recommended course of action. By distancing yourself from social media for a while you can avoid a lot of unpleasant situations, however if the confrontation spills out into the real world then you should speak to the police and a lawyer.

            Final thoughts

            The media likes to blow up certain things to comic proportions and often misrepresents real problems by approaching a topic with the subtlety and levelheadedness of a hungry pit-bull trying to get to a piece of stake left out on the kitchen counter. However, there seems to be something to this Facebook depression phenomenon, as shown by the numerous studies, although I wouldn’t go so far as to put the blame solely on Facebook, as there are often a whole lot of social and psychological factors at play.

            If you are one of the millions of casual Facebook users whose mood isn’t significantly affected by online social life then good for you, but if you see any of the signs that social media may be causing you to feel lonely, sad, depressed, angry, jealous, envious or anxious, then you should consider giving Facebook a break and working on some of the underlying problems, even if that means seeking professional help.

            More by this author

            Ivan Dimitrijevic

            Ivan is the CEO and founder of a digital marketing company. He has years of experiences in team management, entrepreneurship and productivity.

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            Last Updated on July 15, 2020

            How to Let Go of Toxic People in Your Life

            How to Let Go of Toxic People in Your Life

            “Entitlement is an expression of conditional love. Nobody is ever entitled to your love. You always have a right to protect your mental, emotional, and physical well-being by removing yourself from toxic people and circumstances.” -Dr. Janice Anderson & Kiersten Anderson

            It’s not always obvious if you have someone toxic in your life. A toxic relationship is one that is harmful to you. A toxic person can create distress to the degree you feel inadequate and isolated. So, what makes a toxic person?

            A toxic person has toxic behavior, meaning it’s not that the whole person is toxic[1]. It’s what they do that counts. Most toxic people run from accountability and misrepresent reality to you. They misrepresent your worth and your ability to heal from them can be stifled the longer you keep them in your life. You have a role to play with it as well; if your values are dismissed by them and you don’t act on it, you have allowed room for toxicity to grow.

            When you are in a toxic relationship, you feel less than. You feel as though you are not worth anyone’s time or effort. You feel unheard, and sometimes you feel unsafe. You don’t feel good about yourself in a toxic relationship, whether it be with a partner, friend, or family member.

            You may stay in a toxic relationship for a number of reasons. You may believe yourself to be a burden, have a lack of boundaries, resist change, fear conflict, try to be a people pleaser, find yourself codependent, or are partially stuck in a pattern or unhealthy cycle of abuse.

            Letting go of toxic people may not be easy. In order to do so, you have to know why or how they are toxic to you and read between the lines that they do not have your best interests in mind.

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            Letting go of toxic people is hard because you are good and want to see the good in others. You think their apologies are authentic. You have trouble believing they are being dishonest. You don’t spend time healing from it. You get pulled back into the pain because you don’t want it to end. However, if you feel like something isn’t right, it probably isn’t right.

            You should walk away from a toxic person because you need to preserve your peace. You need to feel like yourself again. And you need better support.

            Letting go of toxic people can involve four major steps.

            1. Recognize the Red Flags

            Red flags are signs a person is being toxic. It’s when someone shows characteristics that you should feel caution about. It’s when you feel any level of dissatisfaction and distrust. Trust your gut. When you recognize red flags, you can evaluate whether a person is trying to manipulate you or not. This gives you some level of control over what you allow in your life. The earlier you detect these behaviors, the better off you will be.

            Red flags can include:

            • They always put themselves first.
            • They point out imperfections and sabotage your self-esteem.
            • You may feel drained or used when you’re around them.
            • What you give isn’t reciprocated. They don’t return the goodness you provide as a friend.
            • They ignore your boundaries and get angry when you tell them “no.”
            • You catch them in half truths or outright lies when you confront them about anything.
            • You are the villain; they are the victim.
            • Second chances always lead to repeated patterns of behavior.
            • They may engage in abuse.

            2. Set Boundaries

            There are emotional boundaries that one can set, but there are also physical ones[2]. You can leave any time. Setting boundaries is also an important part of self-care.

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            You shouldn’t walk on eggshells. Tell them how you feel. Are they respecting you, fulfilling your needs, and listening to you? If not, it’s time to set up a healthy emotional distance and start letting go of toxic people around you.

            There are levels to this. You have your inner circle, which could include family, and then you have acquaintances and strangers. If a toxic person is in your inner circle, it’s time to pull back and put up some boundaries for them to follow. If they can’t hear you out, you can cut off the connection completely.

            You can give second chances, but you have to be careful. If someone knows they can get away with something, they will do it again. If there’s any chance for the relationship, they have to know not to cross certain lines.

            3. Invest in Yourself

            You deserve to know you are worthwhile. Try to remember that things will get better and that anything is possible. How do you do so? Invest in yourself.

            This means self care, goal setting, surrounding yourself with positive support, and feeling a sense of peace. Your greatest ambition should be to love yourself. Without self-love, letting go of toxic people will be difficult.

            Every relationship is a risk, but if you know yourself and what you will allow, toxic people will have less of a hold over you. If you are a giver or people pleaser, you are most at risk to being in a one-sided relationship. You shouldn’t be punished for caring, but sometimes trust needs to be earned. If you have self-love, you are treating yourself the best way possible. You know that others need to meet your standards; otherwise, they don’t get to be a part of your life.

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            It’s possible that you can love yourself and still not see the signs. It can be difficult for some to be aware that toxic people exist. However,, if you know how much you mean to others in your life and what you are worth, you will be less likely to take on a relationship that is harmful to you or repeat negative patterns. Self-love is how we get out of toxic relationships, but it’s also how they never begin.

            4. Know When Forgiveness Is Possible

            There are times a person will prove their worth to you. They may make a mistake that makes them seem like a horrible person. They may forget to be good to you because of their own issues. They may just have no example of what a healthy relationship looks like. They may have an inflated ego that really comes from insecurity. The list goes on.

            If they apologize, that’s a start. Look at their actions. Are they changing for the better because they really want to change or just seeming to in order to manipulate you? A person may control others with their image or perceived personality, but if you see through them, you may be able to discern the degree to which they are willing to be there for you.

            If they start to do the right thing, you may begin to trust them again. Don’t start forgiving them until time has passed and you are sure there is growth, even if they show vulnerability or remorse. You can give a second chance if they truly have an awakening. Otherwise, it’s best to get out. Don’t let them walk all over you; let them walk out the door.

            If you do give a second change and they still refuse to change, you have every right to remove them and continue the process of letting go of toxic people. The moment you even want to leave may also be a good time to get out. You don’t have to compromise yourself in order to care for them.

            Forgiveness is the release of resentment or anger[3]. Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation. You have to go back to the same relationship or accept the same harmful behaviors from someone. You don’t have to let them back in. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.

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            Remember, forgiveness is ultimately for you, not them. You don’t need that person in your life in order to forgive them, and if you give them a second chance, proceed with caution.

            Final Thoughts

            Recognize the red flags, set boundaries, invest in yourself, and know when forgiveness is possible. This is how you cope with a toxic person impacting your life. You have power in the direction of your life and the people who accompany you as you move forward. Use it.

            If a person is worthwhile, they will prove themselves through their actions, not their words. If they cross certain lines that really harm you, you owe them nothing. You have every right to feel what you feel and to be upset. Honor your feelings and communicate them because it’ll only continue to keep happening if you don’t.

            If this is happening to you, it’s time to put a stop to it. It’s time to take control. It’s time to live for yourself, not for what others say about you. It’s time to set your standards higher than they’ve ever been before. And most of all, it’s time to let go.

            Resource reminder: A physically abusive relationship is ALWAYS toxic. There are resources for you. Always speak up.

            If you are in such a cycle or domestic violence or abuse reach out for help. For example, there is The National Domestic Violence Hotline (https://www.thehotline.org/) which can be reached at 1−800−799−7233. There are other ways to get help if you simply ask for it. 

            More Tips on Letting Go of Toxic People

            Featured photo credit: Hannah Busing via unsplash.com

            Reference

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